“Come thou long expected Jesus, Born to set Thy people free;
From our fears and sins release us; Let us find our rest in Thee.”

It seems that is was not too long ago, when I was sitting down to write last years letter. How the time does pass, with now 3 little ones in the house to keep up with. I can’t say that I actually ever feel like I’m caught up with them, but I certainly do try!

That said, the biggest news this year in our family, was the arrival of our baby girl on April 27, named Elise Meredith. She was overdue, so we spent a few days anxiously awaiting her arrival. We had a doula (birthing coach) with us this time, and her birth went so much better than the boys did. I’m still not sure that I’m used to having a girl yet, as I was just starting to get comfortable with the thought of boys. So far no girl traits have shown themselves, other than massive quantities of pink around the house. She is trying to crawl these days, but I’m hoping that she doesn’t succeed until the Christmas tree is gone for the year!


Luke is now a big 4½ year old. He is a typical first born (pleaser, thinks he’s an equal with Dad and Mom) and keeps me challenged. As a middle kid myself, I don’t understand him much of the time, but Greg does as he is also a first born. Luke is excited to learn anything, and we’ve been working with him on various subjects. We plan to home school, so are using this year to review curriculum and learning styles to see what will work best for our family.

Our James is 2½ and there is never a dull moment with him around. The best word to describe him would be “random”. You just never know what to expect, and usually he is unintentionally making us laugh. He’s been a late talker, so is just starting to put words together. His sentences consist of words like “none coal ucgh” (he doesn’t want any ucky coal in his stocking). He gets his point across quite clearly, despite his limited vocabulary. He dotes on Elise (he calls her NaNa) quite well, which pretty much always makes her cry because he’s so “in her face”.

This year we have delved into two new areas that we haven’t been before. Chickens and wood stoves. They both have involved much learning, and we are still eager to learn more. The chickens now give us plenty of fresh eggs, and we may expand the numbers next spring to include broilers (meat chickens). The wood stove has given us plenty of work to do, as well as toasty radiant heat. The stove has a window in the door, and we love just sitting in front of the fire all evening and watching it flicker (the kids pretend it‘s TV).

We also were able to purchase a full size truck (needed mostly for the wood) and now plan to go to Arizona for Christmas where we have also acquired a camper to bring back with us. We’ve had many camping disasters with kids and tents, so are hoping this will help solve that problem. The price was too good to pass up, and now it gives us an excuse to head for sunshine when it’s at the rainiest here. We’ve been here 4 years now (in the Pacific Northwest), and I feel like I must be finally getting acclimatized. The other morning I woke up to a gray day, and wasn’t even disappointed. That had never happened before. So, we’ll see what my thoughts are come March, but right now, it’s all okay! (oops, change of plans...my Grandma Staudinger passed away, so we'll be headed to Alberta, Canada for Christmas instead. Feeling sadness for the loss of her, but rejoicing that her battle here is done, and that she's gained the victory through Christ!)

Much love to you now at Christmas time, and may God richly bless you in the coming 2010!!

Greg, Rachel, Luke, James & Elise

Giving Gifts

I've been pondering about what to give my kids, since they don't really need anything, but it definitely is fun to give them something. I thought back to my own childhood, and although I would have liked a "trendy" gift to show off at school after Christmas break, I'm thankful that my parents bought practical and fun things (ice skates, purses, etc). Now as a parent I've tried to set some guidelines that help me choose what to get for my own kids. I like A's idea on facebook about 1 fun, 1 spiritual enriching, 1 item for the body (clothes), just as the 3 wise men bought 3 gifts for baby Jesus.

My "rules" are these:
-something they won't fight over and be jealous of each other for
-equal in value for each kid
-useful and fun, something that will last for years (rather than weeks or months)
-bought used at the thrift store/garage sales if possible. (which I was an idiot and saw the perfect gift at Goodwill in about September for my boys, and didn't buy it because I thought it was too early in the season, then had to pay full price now in December) Lesson learned !!
-(this year only because we have a long road trip ahead) something small and non-annoying that they can play with for hours in the car. We did this last year going to Florida, and the toy kept the boys happy the whole flights there and back, as well as the whole trip (and are still played with daily!)
-something I won't be tripping over and grumbling about in the near future!

Last year I filled their stockings, and they didn't appreciate it at all. They just kept digging and tossing things aside over their shoulder. This year, only 1 item will go in the stocking and maybe a few candies or an satsuma orange (which is what we always got), and it'll likely be a consumable so we don't have to deal with it in the future (markers, craft items)

As for the baby, they usually love the box, but I did find something to give her. Usually baby just gets a new teething ring or chewy book, but I wonder if I even need to do that. They are just as happy with the wrapping paper left lying around!

Here's a few pictures of the boys at the Christmas Program, and Luke saying his verse. James' verse was supposed to be the answer to "who was born at Christmas?", but he got too distracted and just smiled at everyone with his "Snuggle Monkey". I was unaware that the Wise Men carried monkeys with them, but J insisted that they did (since the Shepherds had sheep)!

I love watching the kids do their verses, and think back on all the programs I was in as a kid, and the excitement, but also nervousness involved.

We're going on a trip, in our favorite rocket ship...

I've been busy these days trying to get the Christmas stuff done. You know- cards, food, this morning it was a Shepherd and Wise Man costume for the Christmas program. So, the kids have been keeping busy as well, playing Little Einsteins alot of the time, when they aren't helping me. This morning they were going to Minnesota (one of Rocket's favorite places, I was told), so here's a picture (a.k.a. bunkbed). From left to right, Annie, Quincy and Leo (I'm June). Annie chews on the map (an old dead calculator), Quincy operates the GPS (a cd player), and Leo drives and calls out orders. I hear alot yelling "HELP" "WOW" and "OH, NO" from Quincy with his limited vocabulary coming from the Rocket. And alot of bossing from Leo since he's the oldest and does the driving. Annie comes along on special missions, but can't be trusted too much, so June always has to be present when Annie wants to go!

Obedience

The other night 5 of us Canadian girls that live around here got together for our annual Christmas "evening". We are all at the same stage of life, which is mothers to small children. One of the topics of discussion was about getting kids to obey. The question was, "should we explain to our kids why or why not we decide yes/no when they ask if they can do something?" There were many pros and cons to the subject, as we each voiced our opinion. My son L always wants to know the "why Mom?", and sometimes I explain, but then I feel guilty if I don't explain it. Deep down I feel that I am the parent, and shouldn't have to explain my reasons for deciding what I do. And there always is a reason, as we all know. No conclusion was made, but today enlightenment came.

We are reading "Little House in the Big Woods" by Laura Ingalls Wilder to the kids, and tonight here is the excerpt I found significant, when Laura and Ma went to milk the cow.

When Laura walked behind Ma on the path to the barn, the little bits of candle-light from the lantern leaped all around her on the snow. The night was not yet quite dark. The woods were dark, but there was a gray light on the snowy path, and in the sky there were a few faint stars. The stars did not look as warm and bright as the little lights that came from the lantern.

Laura was surprised to see the dark shape of Sukey, the brown cow, standing at the barnyard gate. Ma was surprised, too.

It was too early in the spring for Sukey to be let out in the Big Woods to eat grass. She lived in the barn. But sometimes on warm days Pa left the door of her stall open so she could come into the barnyard. Now Ma and Laura saw her behind the bars, waiting for them.

Ma went up to the gate, and pushed against it to open it. But it did not open very far, because there was Sukey, standing against it. Ma said:

“Sukey, get over!” She reached across the gate and slapped Sukey’s shoulder.

Just then one of the dancing bits of light from the lantern jumped between the bars of the gate, and Laura saw long, shaggy, black fur, and two little, glittering eyes.

Sukey had thin, short, brown fur. Sukey had large, gentle eyes.

Ma said, “Laura, walk back to the house.”

So Laura turned around and began to walk toward the house. Ma came behind her. When they had gone part way, Ma snatched her up, lantern and all, and ran. Ma ran with her into the house, and slammed the door.

Then Laura said, “Ma, was it a bear?”

“Yes, Laura,” Ma said. “It was a bear.”

[...] He didn’t hurt us,” Ma said. “You were a good girl, Laura, to do exactly as I told you, and to do it quickly, without asking why.”

Ma was trembling, and she began to laugh a little. “To think,” she said, “I’ve slapped a bear!”

The answer is right there. When (or if) you get in a situation where you need your kid to obey, you need them to do it NOW, without asking why. I do recall a story where a family's house was on fire and the dad (on the ground) told his son on the second floor to jump out the window and he'd catch him. The boy disobeyed and said he'd go down the stairs through the burning house. The father never saw him again. I'd hate to be the parent that when I needed my child to obey in a time of trouble and they didn't. Prayerfully we can teach this concept to our little ones, because it's so much easier said than done.

A Day in the Life of a True Outdoorsman

My sister A and her husband N live a much different life than us. It involves everything outdoorsy. I like to think we 'rough' it a bit, but compared to them, we're city slickers. N is one of the few outdoorsmen left who actually could live off the land. When he hunts, it's not with all the new fangled gear and gadgets, just a gun and himself (no camo even). And he gets more animals than anyone I know.

The other day an older couple they know called them up to say that a there were 2 deer fighting in their field, and they didn't know what to do. Apparently the deers antlers were locked together, and they were unable to get away from each other. The couple had called Fish and Wildlife, but were unable to get ahold of anyone, so they called N, since he was the only hunter they knew. N and A went over to their house to investigate, and found what they said was true, only the one deer was dead already. When N got closer yet, he found that both deer's antlers were tangled up in a roll of twine, and so getting them free could be a challenge. Hunting season is over up in Alberta (where they live), and N only had a tag for a different kind of deer this year anyways. The old lady tried to convince him that it would be okay to kill the deer, seeing the circumstance. N told her that it was still illegal, so he would only kill it if he absolutely had to.

The people lived near a river (frozen at this time of year), so N was able to "steer" the deer down onto the ice, where the buck had less footing and was less likely to charge him, and then N could try to cut the twine and break him free. So, he got down there, and cut as much as he could from as far away as possible, but then did have to wrestle the deer a bit it finally get all of it cut. The deer was pretty tired from dragging the other dead deer around for who knows how long (it was partially eaten by coyotes, so the alive deer likely had to fend off the coyotes himself too), but still was quite a challenge and charged N a few times.

In the end, the deer was freed, and there were no injuries. N got his exercise, and A got her heart attack scare for the day. And the old people who called in the first place were very appreciative of his good deed. A got a bunch of pictures, so I'll post some if I can get her to send me some.

PS. N is also the one who has hounds and hunts cougars, if you've seen my pictures on Facebook.

Today...

The past few days have been extremely exhausting, to say the least. E has had a fever for 4 of them, with no apparent cause. So, that meant much mommy-baby time, and little time for anything else. When I finally got back into life today and turned the computer on, I found this link that was very encouraging to young mothers. Just what I needed, as I had gotten rather overwhelmed with it all. Putting God back in the center, instead of being bombarded with details that really don't matter. So, baby is better, and so am I (and hopefully the rest of the family) This link is a friend of a friend, so if you want to buy anything, it's locally (WA state) hand made with care. Enjoy!

http://www.whispersofjoy.com/1/post/2009/11/article-from-revive-our-hearts.html

Tipping Tactics

In our house, there is one thing that in 6 years of marriage, my husband and I have not been able to agree completely on. Part of it is because of my Canadian heritage, part of it is just that I'm cheap and expect good service. And that subject (if you haven't guessed by now) is how much to tip.

Greg's point of view is to tip the standard 15%, unless something is extremely good or bad, and then accordingly from there. I tend to disagree. I say tip better if service is better, and less if mediocre, every time. If someone always gets a 15% tip, does that encourage the employee to go above and beyond their normal job requirements? (I say "no" in most cases). If a lesser tip would encourage an employee to work better/harder to please the customer, would we get better service? Isn't that what tipping is all about anyways? If it's not, then why don't they just tack 15% onto the menu prices and then you don't have to worry about it. Or pay their employees more? That would make sense to me.

Anyways, I saw this cartoon, and thought it might give me another valid reason to tip less (unless service is extraordinaire). The Canada part of this lesson is that in Canada, waiters/waitresses make ordinary wages, so tipping is completely optional. You don't have to "guilt tip" if the service is terrible. And that's the way I think it should be. But...when in Rome, I'll do as the Romans...even if I don't agree. (We actually have finally agreed that whoever pays does the tipping, so Greg always tries to pay so that I don't embarrass him by my minuscule tips).
PS if the cartoon doesn't show, you can view it here http://www.reverendfun.com/?date=20040115

Superheroes

I have a dear great aunt, who makes "lid dolls" for every baby she knows about. In the picture, J is holding one of them. She has at least 100 nieces and nephews, most of which also have children (200-300+ maybe), and every new baby gets a lid doll. The kids love to play with him in the bath, and the other day I was informed that "Lid Man" (as he's known in this house) is good friends with Spiderman, Batman and Superman. I do wonder what kind of adventures they go on; Lid Man in his cumbersome gear trying to keep up with his sleek, sneaky friends saving the world. Maybe someday at bath time I'll delve into that and see what stories the kids come up with.

Here's a video of E that I took yesterday. She was supposed to be napping, but L kept going in the room "to make her happy". It worked. There is definitely no better sound than a laughing baby. Makes my job worthwhile!

Word of the Day

The buzzword lately in our house has been "babywearing". As you know from my prior post, I've been introduced to a whole new world of baby comfort and lingo. Gone are my store bought uncomfortable gadgets, here's a picture of the latest maitei that I sewed up. (which differs from a meitei, an alcoholic beverage ;)

I wanted a nice chocolate brown color fabric, but there wasn't any on sale, so I found this olive stuff instead. I also was looking for something neutral so that Greg would wear it without too much embarrassment. It turned out just perfect (I made some adjustments from the previous one), so may do some more if I get enthused ($$$ always gets the motivation up, doesn't it, so maybe I could advertise with my friends)

Mr. Bear modeling the maitei. I had to add the embellishment as you couldn't tell tell the outside from the inside, other than the neater stitching on the front.











L modeling his "boy version" of a baby carrier. It's a measuring tape carrying a monster truck. I love the creativity the boys come up with. We'll see what having a girl brings. So far just pink, but I'm sure we'll expand on that.

Days Around Here

Lately I've been a bit short on blog topics. It seems our life up here on the hill has been pretty mundane overall (thus the oral hygiene topic, etc). With 3 small children, life does not get very exciting, unless you are making ER visits or sailing the globe. Two things we hope to not be doing in the near future. Well, sailing the globe would be an adventure, but probably would get old pretty fast, considering how much water is in the Pacific Ocean.

Pleasure in life instead consists of the little things, which are things such as these:
-eating a meal through without getting up from the table more than 5 times.
-getting up and having at least a few minutes of quiet to start the day
-getting all the laundry done in one day (not having to empty last weeks baskets to use this week)
-having supper ready when your husband gets home from work, and not having to clear the past meals dishes off the table.

You get the point. So here's a few pictures of our daily life. The first one is our wonderful new wood stove. We absolutely love it, and don't know how we survived without it. L still is a huge help at getting wood (if he can reach the pile) and faithfully fulfills his duty each day.














This next one is the kids "cheering E up" when she awoke from her nap. The boys are quick to hear her, and both go rushing into her crib and smother her with kisses and hugs. This day she fell asleep in the carrier on our walk, so still had her hat and hoodie on.















This is my laundry last week. The kids thought it was great that I hauled them around, and played in the hampers all day. I guess the fact that they are rarely empty, gave them much opportunity to climb inside.
















E can't wait to play with the boys. She often gets smothered when she tries, but lays/sits there kicking like crazy, trying to join their excitement. Mom is pretty boring compared to two lively big brothers. But she'd rather spend most of her time safely with me, wishing she was with them. (when I put her with them, she doesn't last too many minutes, and then wants Mom again)

So that's the excitement around here these days. Keeping up with the kids, finding teachable moments each day, and taking advantage of their little sponge brains and filling them with good healthy food and information. Or at least try...that's the best we can do. :)

The Room

I pulled out the book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" to lend to a friend, and remembered this dream that the author tells, which to me is so profound. It clearly portrays what Jesus has done for us, how He sees all we do, in yet how He loves us anyways. (thanks to the Internet, I found the article and was able to copy and paste, instead of typing it all out)

This is a chapter from I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris called "A Cleansed Past: The Room".

In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features save for the one wall covered with small index-card files. They were like the ones in the libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endless in either direction, had very different headings. As I drew near the walls of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read "Girls I Have Liked." I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one. And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was. This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in every detail my memory couldn't match. A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their contents. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching. A file named "Friends" was next to one marked "Friends I Have Betrayed". The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird. "Books I Have Read," "Lies I Have Told," "Comfort I Have Given," "Jokes I Have Laughed At." Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: "Things I've Yelled at My Brothers." Others I couldn't laugh at: "Things I Have Done In Anger," "Things I Have Muttered under My Breath At My Parents." I never ceased to be surprised by the contents. Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes there were fewer than I hoped. I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I had the time in my twenty years to write each of these thousands, possibly millions, of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature.

When I pulled out the file marked "Songs I Have Listened To," I realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn't found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of music, but more by the vast amount of time I knew that file represented. When I came to a file marked "Lustful Thoughts," I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size, and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed contents. I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded. Suddenly I felt almost an animal rage. One thought dominated my mind: "No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!" In an insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn't matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I took the file at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it.

Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh. And then I saw it. The title bore "People I Have Shared the Gospel With." The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand. And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that they hurt started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the over-whelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key. But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him. No, please not Him. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus. I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn't bear to watch His response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw sorrow deeper than my own. He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read everyone? Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn't anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn't say a word. He just cried with me. Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card. "No!" I shouted, rushing to Him. All I could find to say was "No, no" as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn't be on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood. He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and continued to sign the cards. I don't think I'll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side. He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, "It is finished." I stood up, and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door. There were still cards to be written.

For sinners like you and me, there's good news: Christ paid our debt. He has covered our sins with His blood; He has forgotten the past. Purity starts today. "So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light" (Romans 13:12). Admittedly some will have more to lay aside than others--more memories, more pain, more regrets. But the past needn't determine our future. We have choices right now about how we'll live. Will we set our hearts on God and walk in His paths? "Let us behave decently," the passage in Romans continues,"...not in sexual immorality and debauchery...Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature" (Romans13:13-14). Not one of us can stand completely pure before God. We are all sinners.

But no matter how filthy the rags of our defilement may be, in a moment of true surrender the heart turned toward God loses its impurity. God clothes us in Christ's righteousness. He no longer sees our sin. He transfers Jesus' purity to us. So see yourself as God sees you~clothed in radiant white, pure, justified. Maybe you have a particular memory that continues to hound you, a memory that makes you feel unworthy of God's love and forgiveness. Don't let the past beat you up. Forget it. Don't replay that moment or any others like it. If you've repented of all those behaviors, God has promised to remember them no more (Hebrews 8:12). Move on.

A lifetime of purity awaits you.

I'm going to try to spread my blog topics a bit (well, maybe not spread, but not talk about us so much). If I find articles of interest, I'll post the links or type the story to share some of the things I appreciate.

Here's one I read the other day, that shares my philosophy on educating our children. I do enjoy this blog overall, but this entry made my day.

http://www.homemaking-cottage-blog.com/2009/11/how-environment-in-home-affects.html

Enjoy!

Teeth Tales

This evening has ended with a good long session of baby crying, as usual. I try not to get uptight, but my nerves just don't do well with it. After a tiring day, the last thing needed is an extra fussy-pants who is also overtired in yet won't sleep. So, she's in the swing right now, and I'm hoping it will convince her to sleep since I've been unable to thus far. (tried the baby massage tonight, it didn't seem to make a difference, but I will keep it up just in case it does in the future)

Tonight I'm going to write about something extremely boring and mundane. Something that needs some attention now and then, since it is so boring in yet ever so important. And that is oral hygiene.

Although I do understand the importance of good oral hygiene, I can't get all excited about the mundane tasks it requires each day. The dentists always seem to think that I (and I'm sure I'm not the only one in this category) totally overlook my responsibility as a human being, because I find teeth and everything to do with them is rather boring. The seldom times I do go to the dentist, I get in trouble for not flossing, but just can't seem to make it happen at home. I floss very seldom, so when I do, my gums always hurt, and then I have to quit after one session, to give them time to recover. When they do recover, I've forgotten that I was supposed to be faithfully flossing so then another many months go by before I remember again. Flossing just never reaches the top of the priority list.

You might say that brushing teeth doesn't really take that much time, and it's no big deal to just do it. That is true, except that I've found that I'm always in a hurry, and now that I have 2 boys' teeth to brush too, I'm even more frustrated by this daily drudgery. We got one of those fancy toothbrushes with the timer, and I hate it because I never want to brush as long as it wants me too. If my teeth are clean, why do I have to keep brushing until it beeps? (such bondage!) And then kids mouths...they are so small, and those teeth are so much smaller. And then I wonder is all the brushing and flossing worth anything, when their baby teeth are all going to fall out anyways. That makes me want to brush them even less.

Back in my nursing days, I never minded brushing my patients teeth in the nursing home, because you just popped them out of their mouth, brushed them and put them back in. Lickety split. Not so with my kiddos. Tip their head back, brush all those little nooks and crannies, floss if you really feel enthusiastic, teach them to SPIT the paste out instead of swallow (been working on that with a 2 year old for many months now), and then hope you got them all, but you never really know.

When I took L to the dentist the last time, I got the big lecture that I was an extremely neglectful parent because I hadn't brought my child in before he was 4 years old. Truthfully I wanted to wait until he was old enough to sit still and listen, and I wasn't too concerned, as we weren't having any problems. After the dentist degraded me for having so many kids, and then degraded me for not bringing L in earlier, he had nothing but glowing reports on L's teeth. "You must brush his teeth thoroughly every day" "you must eat healthy" "he has great looking teeth" etc. So even though I won't go back to that dentist due to his lack of tact most of all, I felt a teensy bit better for all that stupid effort I put into brushing my kids teeth every night. Someday they'll be able to do it themselves, the baton will be passed, and then I'll be back to just worrying about my own (if you can call my complete disinterest "worrying"). Whew.

Product Review: Charlie's Soap

My inquisitive mind never rests. If I am not trying to figure something out at all times, I'm not satisfied. So I pick things (not intentionally) that I'm not satisfied with, and try to improve on them. I don't expect perfection (ask my husband who gets frustrated with that trait more often than I care to admit), just expect a product or idea to meet my own criteria, whatever that may be.

This time around it was laundry soap/detergent. My cloth diapers needed replacing as they weren't absorbent anymore, and had an odd smell even when they were clean as clean could be. I looked on the website that makes them, and found that all the detergents I had been using were causing my problem. Every detergent I've tried was listed as "bad" for the diapers (7th Generation, Trader Joe's, All Free & Clear being the most common ones I used). They all leave a residue on the diapers making them repel water instead of absorb, as diapers are supposed to do. They recommended stripping the diapers and going to an all natural detergent/soap (namely Charlie's Soap or Allen's Naturally). I will note however, that I did know this information, but chose to ignore it as I didn't think it would really make all that much difference. Little did I know. So, I stripped the diapers and covers as instructed, which is really easy because it just meant washing them in hot water with a certain baking soda/vinegar combination and then decided to start over.

I ended up buying the Charlie's Soap, as I knew where to get it, and had read lots of great reviews about it. It turns out that I haven't gotten any miracles, but am pleasantly surprised. I have never had a laundry soap that made any difference, but with this I do notice a difference. My worn out diaper covers are now soft and work like they should (keeping wet in, not wicking out), and my diapers are way more absorbent and the smell has diappeared. The residue that was left on the inside of the washer door has disappeared, and our clothes no longer need fabric softener (even fleece blankets which normally are static city, especially in winter). I can't really say if the detergent gets the clothes cleaner, as I haven't been stain treating them prior to washing, expecting miracles. Most stains have been coming out, and only a few need retreating. Charlie's Soap instructions say that you have to wash everything at least twice to get rid of residues left from other detergents, so it's taken a while to wear and then wash everything we own to see if there is a difference. The more I use it, the more I am convinced that it is good stuff. It also has the least ingredients of any soap, and you only use a tablespoon per load, so it lasts a long time. The small size does cost a tad more ($13 for 80 loads= 0.16/load) but if you buy it bulk in 5 gallon size ($150 for 1280 loads=0.11/load) it is much cheaper than any you'll find at the regular stores. And you'll feel better knowing you're not adding to the allergy/landfill problem in this country.

www.charliesoap.com/index.asp

Accidental vs. Intentional

"God has implanted deep in the souls of parents the truth that they cannot with impunity shirk the responsibility to protect childhood and youth. There seems to be a growing tendency to shift this responsibility from the home to outside influences, such as the school and the church. Important as these outward influences are, they never can take the place of the influence of the mother and the father.” -- David O. McKay

This is a quote off a blog I like to read (Old Fashioned Motherhood on my blog list). It reminded me of an idea that I'm trying to form for a blog idea. Since it's still in the thought stages, I hope it will advance and I can elaborate on the thoughts.

I read a book last week called, "The Baby Whisperer" in hopes I can find some more sleep solutions for our family. Although most of the book was pretty generic, I did come out with a few points that I think are worth sharing. She talks alot about "accidental parenting". She says that many parents really don't ever set goals, so they never reach them, since they never set them in the first place. They end up in predicaments because they haven't looked far enough into the future to see the results of what they are doing. I think this is very valid especially as Christians, since we can't end up with the values, morals, & ethics instilled in our kids if we don't take the time to teach them what is needed. Kind of like driving. If we don't look far enough in advance, we're likely to get in an accident. We need to see where we're going, and need to do what is called "intentional parenting".

Intentional parenting (or living in general) is doing so with an ultimate goal in mind. This can involve small reachable goals each week, month and year but also lifetime goals (eg. get to heaven!) What do we need to do to get where we want to go? When I lived in AZ I used to listen to Randy Carlsen on the radio, and he spoke alot about intentional living (almost every day he'd have something). Each decision we make each day is made with the ultimate life goals in mind.

With both of these ways of doing things, we all need to ask ourselves a few questions. Where do I want to be? (in 1 year, 5 years, 10 years, etc) or Where do I want my children to be? How am I going to get there? (make a plan) What is in the best interest of my family? Will a shortcut now be paid for long term? It goes back to my Dad's saying of "give it 20 years" and makes it easier to stand up for things that may be a grey area in decision making.

It is my hope and prayer that I could be an intentional parent (and person), and that although sometimes the easiest way seems tempting, it's much more important to do what is right and what is best in God's eyes and not mans.

To sleep or not to sleep...that is the question

I've wondered much about sleep. Mostly because I've had 3 kids who have had sleep issues. Probably partly my fault, partly theirs. I once asked the pediatrician about it, and she said, "oh, kids don't sleep well, you have to teach them that skill." That opened my eyes in some ways, but created a whole new can of worms to add to the sleep dilemma/solution ratio. I spend much of my day getting a baby to sleep (lets say an hour each nap and bedtime, so that would be 4 hours a day), only to have her wake up 15 minutes later still crabby and not tired enough to get back to sleep. This is not new, nor am I looking for sympathy. I'm more just stating the obvious so that hopefully in a few months I can look back and say, "Wow, we've come a long ways".

In those 4 hours of crabbiness/fussing, I try to think of new things to try but often come up short because you can only try so many things and then run out of options. I've read books, which offer a few tips, but haven't helped that much either. I do console myself with a friends words, "they don't sleep good until they are 2". That at least gives me some hope. I don't regret this time in my life, but do wish I could enjoy my baby when she's happy instead of trying over and over to appease her tired self. L says to me every morning, "what are we going to do today? Keep a baby happy again?" Yep. That's what we spend most of our days doing. Which we would have to do anyways, but when baby is tired, it's much more involved. The books say to lay them down when they are drowsy and they'll learn to self-soothe. It has NEVER happened in this house. They whimper, cry and then scream...in that order. And then scream and scream. So, I'm working on the self-soothing in other ways, but have been so far unsuccessful.

Sundays are the worst. Her normal nap time is right at church time, so she fusses through church and only sometimes falls asleep. This past weekend she woke up early Sunday morning so was ready for nap by church time. She slept in the car for 20 minutes on the way there, wakes up when we get there (she's a light sleeper and is awake as soon as you stop driving). She then proceeds to fuss all through Sunday School, and halfway through church. (I'm playing the organ, so Greg and I trade her back and forth) She falls asleep only to wake up as soon as church is over (another 20 minute nap). She's crabby all the way to friends house for dinner, cries all through dinner (we take turns handing her back and forth so we can both eat somewhat enjoyably). She then gets pretty tired, but not enough to sleep. I have her in the carrier all this time. She conks out on the way home in late afternoon (30 min this time, awake when we pull in the driveway) and then is fussy until bedtime 3 hours later. Fun day. It's not usually this bad at home, because there is no driving/other people's houses involved, but the nap schedule is the same. One or two good naps would do her much more good, but I just can't seem to make that happen. She does sleep good at night though, and that is the only thing that makes this all bearable. We still have not had a sleepless night with her (or even been up with her at all other than to nurse her).

Here's the latest of my 3 rascals. The boys were playing "fox" on the top bunk, and I happened to walk in with the camera, as I had been trying to take some pictures of E in the other room. The boys both crawled to the edge of the bed to see baby sister, and I just tossed her up there and got the camera ready. As always, taking pictures of multiple kids requires dancing a jig, so apparently the one I danced worked, while keeping camera still. I love it when we can get good shots of the kids, because they are hard to get!

The Napkin Nuisance

In a house with a bunch of kids, we tend to go through plenty of napkins. It seems like someone is always spilling something at the table, and we need to wipe it up quick. Or just very sticky fingers from those who forget what utensils are for (a 2 year old is great for that). It seems I was buying napkins or paper towels pretty often, and that was getting a little old. For one, it's the cost. Two, the amount of garbage accumulated by throwing them all out. So, I toyed with idea of making a bunch of cloth napkins to use. That was as far as it got. I never get to the fabric store, and I don't have a serger (which would make doing the edges pretty easy and fast), so we just kept going through the stacks of napkins and rolls of paper towels. Then one day my aunt and uncle were having a garage sale, and low and behold here is a huge stack of cloth napkins. My aunt says, "oh, those were Grandma's, and no one needs them, so we're selling them." (for $0.10 each, I might add, while the cheapest store ones run 0.05 each). I bought the whole stack, then and there. Not only do the blue ones remind me of so many dinners at Grandpa and Grandma's they also look surprisingly like drape cloths from working in the ED suture room for so many years. Double memories. I still have the paper ones on hand, but have found these cloth ones to work amazingly well. Not only do they absorb a whole milk cup with one napkin (and they are always in a basket on the table so we don't have to run for one), they wash well and we have never run out (something we did before and then had to wait until we went to the store to buy more). Anything less that I have to buy is a score for me. (I'm also experimenting with homemade dishwasher soap, which I'll leave for another post)

Rx: Neck Brace

The other day when we were driving along, there was this guy out in his ramshackle yard wearing a neck brace. You know, the big, thick, foam kind. And it was very well worn, as verified by it's no-longer-white-color. Greg says to me, "it's been a long time since I've seen someone in a neck brace." So I told him the truth about neck braces.

Back in Red Deer working in the ER when someone came in for whiplash the doctors would sometimes prescribe a neck brace. One older doctor would say in a very sympathetic voice to me, "I think so-and-so in bed 15 NEEDS a neck brace. Could you fix one up for him?" I soon learned what he meant by that, as he explained it thoroughly one day. Those who got the neck braces were the ones who they aren't really hurt but want sympathy as well as possibly an insurance claim. So, to "fix" them, we gave them neck braces more to make them look like an idiot and make them happy, since they weren't really hurt. A neck brace doesn't do anything, except maybe give your neck a rest for a couple days (which lying on the couch will do just as well). But the healing is more in the sympathy received following the "injury".

So, next time you see someone in a foam neck brace, give them a big bear hug and tell them how sorry you are for their injury. It'll do wonders for their healing!

"Aha" Moments

This weekend we had two of those "aha" moments. One is the good kind, you hope can be repeated. The other, well, not so much.

Last week in our house we talked about taking initiative. How if we are capable of doing something, then we should see what needs to be done and jump in and do it without being told. Our eldest is the kind of kid that would let you help him with everything his whole life, so pushing him beyond his comfort zone is difficult at times. He's a perfectionist, so doesn't want to even try unless he can do it to perfection. But, he seemed eager to listen and seemed to understand what we were talking about.

All of last week was spent tending to a sick baby girl, and the boys were feeling rather neglected. They have a habit of coming in bed with me to cuddle once G leaves for work in the morning and that morning I had both of them in my bed wiggling about. I quietly asked them to leave, since it appeared they weren't going to be falling back asleep as they often do. They went to read books while I shut my eyes for a few more minutes, since I'd been up a good portion of the night with baby. When I did get up, L told me that J had to go to the bathroom and that he helped him get his fuzzy pj's off and helped him in the bathroom, so that they wouldn't wake me up. How sweet. I would have loved to be a fly on the wall to watch that procedure, and to hear the dialogue it contained. He was so proud of himself, and has been noticing things that need doing and just doing them ever since. That's one of those good "aha" moments, that he figured it out and just got in there and did it. We've also been singing "I Washed My Hands" lately which has a line in it that says, "I told my ears to listen, quite closely all day through, For any act of kindness, such little hands can do", so hopefully that is sinking in as well.

The other "aha" moment came last night. When something on the floor of the van looked strangely familiar to mouse evidence. After further investigation, aha, mice again. They seem to get in every once in a while, and we can't find where they do to stop them. So, today was spent cleaning the van from top to bottom, vacuuming and washing everything that had been in there. We did catch one last night, and have the trap set again tonight. Those are the "aha" moments I could do without.

Scenes I Care Not to Repeat

The other day I had an incident that at the time wasn't funny, but now looking back makes me laugh because it reminded me of something funny. If you'll recall from the movie Dumb and Dumber, there is a scene where Harry is gassing up a car, and then haphazardly throws his cigarette into a pool of spilled gasoline. This ignites, and the flames catch his pants on fire. At the same time he is trying to get a girls phone number, and she is going on and on and on, trying to remember her number (as it had recently changed). He's trying to be polite, get the number and then get the fire out. She takes so long that finally he yells at her to just give him the number. She gets offended and drives off.

The scene I was in, a very nice lady called me and was giving me directions to her house that I needed. Baby E was fussing in my arms when she called, so I was trying to make the call as quick as possible. The lady asked, "do you want the address to Google it, or should I give directions". I told her that I'd take the address and call if I needed further directions. She proceeds to give the address and then turn by turn (with picture details so I'd know what houses are on her road) navigation all the way to her house. E is still fussing very much, crying loudly by this time right into the phone, but I can't adjust her because I'm dropping the phone with the other hand. I'm on the corded phone, and the base is hanging in midair, making the phone quite heavy. This nice lady apparently did not hear the screaming at all, as she continued to slowly and sweetly keep explaining. I tried my best to politely tell her that I'd be fine since I had the address, but she helpfully kept telling me how people always stop at the wrong house, and how people think that this certain building on the road is the house, but it's actually a shop, and how some people think that a travel trailer at the end of a driveway is their house, since they live in a manufactured house, and on and on... She finally finished and E was hanging precariously from one arm, and the phone from another, and I politely got off the phone. Whew. Thankfully I didn't have to resort to yelling "just give me the address" or something like that, even though in my head I did.

I'm tired and should be off to bed, but wasn't quite ready. Hopefully this makes sense, and you can see the similarities, although my pants weren't on fire! Oh, and by the way, holding that certain screaming baby is somewhat like holding a combination of wet bar of soap/pinching crab/marshmallow/20 lb barbell.

Cornbread Update

Because I love cornbread so much (and love a challenge just about as much), I continue to experiment with cornbread. I haven't perfected it yet, but am still working on it. I swear, by the end of winter, I will have the BEST cornbread ever. Thanks to all you who offered tips, and I'll tell you what I've tried.
-new cornmeal (apparently it can get stale)
-cast iron pan (preheated in the oven with butter in it)
-more eggs (made it hold together better, but did make it on the verge of rubbery)
-white cornmeal instead of yellow
-mix with spatula instead of whisk
I think all those tips did help, although I'd still like it a bit moister and fluffier. I have also tried mixing the batter up, and then adding the baking powder last. This helped it rise without beating the baking powder out of the batter. All the recipes say "do not overmix", but I find this hard to do. To get all the lumps out without overmixing seems an impossible task. I undermixed (in the fear of overmixing) and we ended up with flour lumps (small but still present) in the finished product.
Next to try:
-increase oil/melted butter
-try Bob's Red Mill coarse ground cornmeal
-try Alton Brown's recipe with creamed corn in it (forgot to buy creamed corn last grocery trip)
I don't give up easy...

Eczema Information

I've been asked a by different people what we did for J's eczema to make it go away, and transform him from a crying baby all the time to a happy confident boy.

As far as eczema...well...umm...got no miracles here but I will share what I've learned. But, everyone is different, and what works for us may not work for you. We are definitely not eczema free yet (we went from total body coverage to a few small patches on his legs now), just keeping it at bay as much as possible and not stressing if it isn't gone completely.

Acidophilus is huge (chewable Buddy Bears Renew Life Brand, 3 x day on empty stomach, one of those at bedtime)
Digestive enzymes (chewable Buddy Bears Renew Life brand, 3 x day with meals). What we were told is that eczema is caused from the liver not processing as well as it should so the "toxins" come out the skin. We went to a herbalist who does live blood cell analysis and she told us this, as she could see undigested proteins and carbs in his blood. She got us on the digestive enzymes and probiotics, to give the liver a break and let it renew itself, and she's actually been the only person with a plausible explanation and a cure that worked. So, anything you can do to keep the liver clean and flushed will help. It took 4 months on these two things before we noticed a difference, and then the difference was huge.

Things that helped us have been: lots of water (at least 2 sippy cups a day, and I do diluted juice because getting that much water in has been near impossible), daily multivitamins (they somehow don't absorb as much, so need more than recommended for their age), antioxidant juices (we noticed the most with mangosteen/goji, but you can use blueberry, pomegranate, cranberry, etc), fresh vegetable juices if possible (cabbage, beet, carrot with apple), limiting dairy except yogurt. I'd try goat, almond or rice milk (soy has estrogen-like qualities that isn't recommended for boys) Getting out in the sun as much as you can is very helpful too, and keeping 'stresses' to a minimum (which is hard to tell in kids, but just keeping at home in a routine as much as possible). Omega fatty oils (such as flaxseed or fish oil) are great. Use non hydrogenated margarine instead of butter, as animal fats seem to make it itchier. As a last resort I use hydrocortisone cream, which is close to a miracle in making it go away, but comes with the benefits of any steroid. I have tried pretty much every cream under the sun (I use Aveeno Soothing Relief Moisture Cream twice a day right now because it seems to work the best for the price, and goes on smoothly, which some don't), and haven't found any to be very helpful since the cause is internal. I think finding the cause is much more helpful, if that can be done.

Adventures in Babywearing

This first photo was taken one nice warm Arizona day when L was a baby. My mother-in-law and I found out about an antique fair, and HAD to go. First we knew that an antique fair was no place to take a baby in a stroller, so we stopped at the local Once Upon a Child and I picked up the first of many "baby carrying products", I'll call them. This front pack looks pleasant enough, but every time I've used it, I end up with an incredibly sore back and neck the next day. Not fun, and not worth the hassle I quickly found out.




















With another baby on the way, I researched some better options. Some people recommended a sling, but I found that baby was always too loose in it (I tried padded and unpadded, disliked both the same), and it also hurt my neck. The baby was always on the verge of falling out, and I was uncomfortable. Not much fun either. Back to the stroller...which is bulky, heavy and doesn't fit in tight places (like home, for instance) So... this is how J got carried his babyhood. On my arm, or else I just sat in my new-at-the-time Lazyboy. Let's just say I did alot of sitting with him.



















E has proven to me again the need to keep trying to find something to meet my babywearing needs. Recently I was at a garage sale where the lady was selling a BabyBjorn. I tried it on, it seemed comfortable, but my baby was asleep in the car and I wasn't about to wake her to see what it was like with her in it. I had finally decided not to buy it since it was too similar to the one that caused me all the neck and back pain, so I told her this and asked her how she had liked it. "Hated it, that's why I'm selling it" was her answer. When I delved into why, she had the same complaints as I, but did offer a solution. She said she loooved her Silly Goose carrier, and that her friend in Vancouver makes them, and that _____ is where they sell them. And that I should go to the Babywearing group in Vancouver because they have over 40 carriers to try on to see what I liked best. Well, I wasn't expecting that much information, but thanked her for sharing it. I did have her write down that information on the babywearing group though. That sounded like something I needed. It took a couple months before I actually got to a meeting, and although I felt a little uncomfortable driving to Vancouver just to look at baby carriers, I knew I had to meet these people who had mastered the art of a comfortable carrier and were willing to share that information. After arriving with my 3 little ones in tow, I started asking questions. The one lady answered every one of them better than I would have expected. I finally asked her if she would critique my 4 carriers I had with me (one was left at home), and she agreed to do so. The negatives she gave were exactly what I had been complaining (to myself and my dear everbearing husband) about. She lastly critiqued my latest carrier (made 2 weeks prior) and had nothing negative to say about it.

The last carrier (pictured below) was my own invention. It is technically called a mai tei (may tie), but I came up with the pattern myself after borrowing my chiropractors Ergo. I loved the Ergo, but they are far too spendy and I found out that they are best for trips around town and hiking, not everyday wearing around the house as they are too bulky. But, anyways, after borrowing the Ergo and taking the measurements off it, I made this one out of scraps from my fabric bin. I didn't want to buy fabric in case I didn't like it. But I love it! I wore her in it for 2 whole days at our Fall Services, and I didn't hurt anywhere the next day. Was tired- yes. Hurt- no. That has never happened before.















(Picture taken by L who is still an amateur at photography. I kept it though, as my hair was even less flattering than it is most days, so I'll just pretend it's purposely cropped like this)

Back to the babywearing group. They told me that the mai tei is the best carrier for home use, as it's easy to put on (crosses in the back and ties around the waist and then goes over shoulders and ties in the front again, which you can't really see from the picture), isn't bulky, and keeps the baby in a good ergonomic position. I have to say that E loves it. She can look up at me all day long, I can even nurse her in it, and she can sleep comfortably too.

In a small sidenote, I'll tell you what I learned about baby carriers.
-Front packs (such as my Infantino and BabyBjorn) keep the baby looking outwards, causing too much stimulation for babies for any length of time, and also hold baby up by the crotch which likely isn't too comfortable, all the baby's weight is on Mom's neck and shoulders.
-Slings -great for keeping in a diaper bag for quick trips, but must be made correctly. At least 3" rings (for maximum adjustability) and a strong but soft fabric (linen is one of the best). Mine had 2" rings, so I could never adjust them correctly. Padded slings are also not very adjustable because of their bulkiness. Weight on neck and shoulders
-Moby wraps -great for many purposes, but the one I had made used too light of fabric causing baby to feel like she was falling out. Make sure to use a very heavy knit if you buy your own fabric. Weight is evened out on neck, shoulders and hips
-Mai tei - great for all around wearing. Use a light canvas, something strong and durable. Make sure it has wide enough straps to bear the weight more evenly so it doesn't cut in to shoulders. Weight is mostly on hips, with shoulder straps only to hold baby in. (that was why I love it so much)

So, now E is a happy baby. She still only takes her two 15 minute naps a day, but at least I can carry her while I try to get stuff done. I just wish I'd known this stuff about 4 years ago. Would have saved me alot of chiropractor bills and headaches and Ibuprofen. I'm working on getting them now to do a workshop in Longview for us folks up here. Maybe we can even start our own group. You can check out their website at http://www.nwbabywearers.org/ or maybe find a group in your own town to start getting comfortable today.

Tips From a Lazy (or is it Efficient?) Mom

"There is a fine line between being efficient and being lazy" Grandma K.

In my 4 year parenting career, I've come across all sorts of information that helps me on my journey. It's a constant work in progress, with needs changing with the times. I thought I'd share some of that information, in case it can be of help to you too. I won't take any credit for the ideas, because all of them come from parents more experienced than I, who were kind enough to share them with me. Well, one came from Dr. Laura too. She has good ideas now and then.

-Focus on making sure your kids listen, first and foremost. If they don't, it makes every other aspect of parenting more difficult. I like the theory "don't let them out of your sight until they can be trusted". This usually happens around age 3. I really like the parenting website raisinggodlytomatoes.com, because the woman tells you exactly how to do this, and has 10 kids of her own. Most parenting sites/books only deal with 2 kids, and bad behavior is tolerable when you only have a few. With 10, you must have kids listen, or you'd have a madhouse. She also does "time in" instead of "time out", because she says that time out changes the action, not the attitude. Time in involves sitting by Mom (or helping her with a task) for a certain amount of time (which is often harder) and in that time you can talk about proper behavior. And I find often kids misbehave when they want/need some attention, so this kills 2 birds with one stone.

-Next is "use a timer". Kids dawdle, and this lets them do a bit of it, but not too much. It actually is more useful for me, because when it dings, I remember to check if they are done doing what I asked them to, in the specified time. Because they can't tell time, they never know when it's going to go off, so work more effieciently too. We've only started this in the past couple months, and I sure wish I would have started long ago. Alot less "hounding" on my part, and alot more obedience out of the kids. We've honed our bed time routine (9 items) from 2 hours to 1/2 hour. And the kids lose priviledges if they don't get the stuff done (toys not picked up in time = no story)

-Limit your time on the phone. This one is hard for me, because I like to stay in touch with people. But...when I'm on the phone, nothing gets done, and my kids misbehave. Guaranteed. So, I try to limit non emergent (visiting) calls to 1 per week, and then either email or text message the rest. If you find you're not getting anything done because of phone distractions, shut off the ringer. Things are typically not that important. You can always listen to the message, and call back if it is important. Time on the computer fits in the same category.

-Limit tasks each day. Don't try to clean the whole house every day, or you'll end up disappointed in your lack of abilities. I set a task for each day (the same each week), and try to commit an hour to do so (during baby's morning nap or while the kids are dawdling through breakfast) Then if things need attention, you know they will get done in a day or two, and you can let it go. My house stays cleaner this way, because I don't feel overwhelmed every day with a dirty house. Also, lower your expectations. Although I'd love a spotless house, I'm not willing to stay up late (and sacrifice precious sleep) or ignore my kids needs to get one. So, that means I'll never have one or I have to hire someone. Good enough is good enough. (a friend also mentioned that when she has a spotless house she yells more at her kids, as she wants it to stay that way, she said keeping it at 80% clean works the best)

-Don't overcommit yourself. Learn to say no. You don't have to go to every event, birthday, etc. You don't have to have a big party for everything, or everyone. Ask your kids what they want for their birthday and you might be surprised. We've found this formula works in our house: 1 event per weekend (either Fri or Sat, preferably not Saturday night as we have trouble behaving in church if out too late), home by 6 on Sunday (or else the week is just a disaster before it starts) Find what formula works in your family, and be committed to sticking to it.

-Find other parents (preferably with older children) that you can aspire to. Watch and learn. See what you like in them, and fit it to your life. Weed out that which you don't like in your life. This is a continual battle. In relation to this, adapt only one new thing in your life at a time. More than that will be overwhelming, and you'll quit before you start. Whether it be behavior modification or cooking healthier, limit it to 1 thing.

-Cook easy. As a parent with small kids I can give 4 good reasons to cook easy. 1) Less time for prep, 2) Kids don't appreciate it anyways, 3) You don't appreciate it as you're too busy wolfing it down before the baby needs you, 4) It's cheaper.

-Get your kids to help you with everything you do. This is a lazy mom's secret. Why waste your energy when you could be teaching someone else to do it? How is a kid to learn if you never teach him/her? If you involve your kids in everything you do, then they are always in sight (less discipline issues), learning as they watch, and then you don't have to be spending so much "quality time" with them, because they are getting it while you get stuff done. Greg tells about a crotchety old machining instructor at college that said, "if you have question, watch me long enough and you'll see me answer it". Not the theory we hear these days, but effective! My mom gave me a list of things kids can do at what age, and that has helped immensely. An example of this would be making pancakes for breakfast:
4 year old: gather everything he can reach (mixing bowl, measuring cups, flour, etc), set table
2 year old: sit on counter and hold spoon/wisk, stir at appropriate time, help set table, carry syrup, butter to table
baby: sit in bumbo on counter watching and chewing on spatula, involved in process
Mom: help measure ingredients, 4 yr old pours them in bowl. Answer million questions, heat up pans, cook. Guide process, but let the kids do most of the work. "Quality time is quantity time"

-This is the Dr. Laura advice. There is no such thing as balance. When you try to balance, something always loses, and then nothing gets your full attention. So make the best decision at the time and give it your full attention. As moms, we have to multitask, but for the most part, if it's time to play, play. If it's time for your husband, give him your undivided attention. Don't be thinking about what you coulda/shoulda/woulda done.

-Read magazines that inspire. I find many mainstream magazines (Parenting, Parents, etc) focus on earthly things, which isn't where our treasure should be. Find magazines that help you be the parent you aspire to. Two that I like are No Greater Joy, and Above Rubies. Both are free (with donation if desired) and usually the writers have much more on their plate than I do, and it makes my life seem pretty doable. You can order them at www.nogreaterjoy.org and www.aboverubies.org/

Now...if we can only implement these into our own life, things would be awesome. Well, life is good, there just seems to be a lot of overwhelming days these days.

In Search of Rubber Boots

I saw these boots by the front door the other day, and it prompted me to write down the story of them. It's not oh-so-thrilling, but I'm just satisfied that a discovery has been made. I will note however, that said boots were not in this neat order when I found them, much more strewn about...so much so that they wouldn't have fit in the same picture, as left there by their rightful owners.















In the Pacific Northwest, rubber boots for kids are a must. I had this notion when I moved here that my kids would only wear boots for play, not church, town, and other functions. I've been converted. They wear them everywhere (I still try to not let them wear them to church, but will admit they have). The trouble in this all comes because I'm so cheap, that I refuse to pay full price for anything. And that doubled with the fact that kids around here don't get rid of boots, they wear them out instead. So finding used ones is nigh on impossible. After forking over the full-price cash for one pair when my son needed some and I had discovered this fact of life, I vowed I wouldn't do that again and that he better wear them right out. Well, he did wear them out...in a matter of months. Sick. If this was how it went, I'd be buying about 3-4 pairs of $15 Made in China boots per year. Not only did this make me disgusted because of the money, but also because I try not to be a throw-away kind of person. Just not good stewardship. I'd rather buy quality, as it's just better overall.

This got me on the rubber boot hunt. I know you can buy good US made boots at farm supply stores, but they cost way too much for my budget. And they are boring. I wanted something so all my kids aren't fighting over whose boots are whose because they all look the same (strange fear, but I remember having to do this all the time as a kid, and someone getting one of their own boot and one of someone elses size). I did find a couple pairs at the Goodwill (of the cheap quality) so did snatch them up while I looked for a better product. I finally found what I was looking for in a thrift store up in Canada last summer. These boots are made in Canada, and are sturdier than anything you'll find around here. Plus, the hot item up there is winter boots, so rubber boots only have a short spring season, thus are not worn out and can be found in the thrift stores. Jackpot. I bought J some for a couple bucks, and L just got a pair now (he wore out his Goodwill ones in a matter of months again). So, from now on, my Mom is the rubber boot buyer. Cheap price, good quality and different colors. That's all I wanted. Now I'm a happy Mommy...in that area. I love it when a "dilemma" is solved. I have a million more to solve, but that will keep me appeased for a while. I hope.

A Day in the Life update

Reading back on my post from the other day, it looks pretty productive (and it was). Most days aren't like that. Today involved waking up with a head cold and sinus headache, 2 out of 3 kids crying (the 2 biggest ones, go figure), me very grouchy, and no productivity whatsoever. Greg made supper and did dishes, and here I sit with a fussing baby on my lap. It had alot of yelling (from me which I regret) and alot of telling the boys to be quiet because my head hurt. Then J got a sliver in his hand and we didn't know it, and he refused to use his hand for an hour after waking up from his nap, so I spent that time with him crying on the couch and finally figured out the hand issue. Friday was a much more enjoyable day, and I wish I had more of those. Oh yes, and today was Monday. How could I have guessed. :)

A Day in the Life of a Mother With 3 Small Children

A couple weeks ago at Bible Study, we were discussing the invisible-ness of God, and then were talking about what it would be like to be invisible, like He is. My dear husband said, "I'd like to be invisible to see what really goes on at home while I'm at work" with a smile on his face. Well, dear...you asked for it so here it is. (also, my sister-in-law did this last week for her own record, and I enjoyed reading it on her blog, as we both are in the same stage of life these days)

0430 Alarm clock goes off for G, I awaken slightly
0515 G leaves for work, comes to say goodbye, I awaken again. Feed a waking baby girl.
0625 J comes to the bed to cuddle and falls back asleep.
0800 Awaken to piercing shriek, fly out of bed to investigate (thinking L must have fallen out of bed and broken his arm or something worse), and find him in the bathroom sobbing because he accidentally peed on his pj's in his tiredness. Calm him down, help him get new pants, go to cuddle with him on the couch in a blanket while I try to wake up myself and start to plan my day
0830 Get going for the day (today is laundry day, normally it's Thursday, but we were gone, so it's Friday this week). L gets empty laundry baskets, we start to sort kids laundry. We talk about why we sort lights from darks, etc. L pushes the full baskets to the laundry room.
0845 J gets up, I help him to the bathroom and get him dressed. Back to laundry room and get load #1 started, stain treat what needs it too and soak if necessary.
0855 Take dill (which I picked a couple weeks ago after it has gone to seed and I didn't use it) out of laundry sink and harvest seeds to plant next year.
0900 Make breakfast. Cream of wheat for boys (as requested) and leftover cornbread for me (there wasn't enough for all of us), tidy kitchen a bit while cereal is cooking. Boys are on floor playing with cars and dominoes. L giving running commentary of what toys are doing, J humming "Jesus Loves Me" over and over and over. Cereal done, forgot to buy milk. Scrounge and find some almond milk in pantry. Boys satisfied with that, although have to explain my neglect.
0915 Done breakfast. Look in cookbook to see what dessert/snack to make for tonight (dinner at friends) I hear E waking up, but she's playing quietly, so I leave her a few more minutes. Make some coffee while boys finish eating, tidy kitchen a bit more while it's brewing.
0930 I get dressed, get E dressed, change her diaper. Back to help J finish breakfast. In meantime, L complains of stomachache and can't eat. After investigation of symptoms, I conclude he should go to the bathroom and sit for a while. I remember my coffee, should be ready by now (French press). Pour into favorite china mug (thanks, Amy). Continue to encourage J to eat while holding E. Decide to make gingersnaps for snacks, as I have all the ingredients on hand. Take butter out of freezer to soften.
0945 Still at table with J. Disgusted at rain the night before, as my "save the carpet" rug is drying out on the deck rail. Now it's soaked. J just spilled more breakfast on the floor. L has had success in bathroom, tummyache gone, now can eat. J done eating, giving extra big hugs and kisses to E (still on lap). Get one sip of hot coffee.
0950 Put E in the "blue-green" (J's name for the doorway bouncer which is blue and green) as requested by J, so I can get sheets off my bed to wash
1000 Morning call from G, discuss weekend plans (dinner tonight, chop and stack wood tomorrow). Sip of somewaht warm coffee. Sort more laundry. Start another batch washing, get drying rack from out on deck to dry inside today as it's a wet-ish day
1015 Boys hanging their clothes on drying rack. I tidy it after they're done so it drys better. They keep E happy while I finish. J helps get laundry from our room to laundry room after I help him in the bathroom. E is crying (time to feed) Sip of lukewarm coffee
1030 Boys help me move the hope chest from family room to guest room. Organize in there to make it work. E plays on blanket on floor. Sip of now cold coffee. Get spit up on for first time today.
1045 Baby decides she wants to eat more. Put Pooh SingAlong tape for boys (as requested)
1055 Sip cold coffee, think I should heat it, too lazy. More spit up (on shirt this time, it was pants last time)
1100 Get on computer to print off new sticker chore charts for boys (last one is full), check email, facebook, pay a bill online all with baby on lap
1130 Put baby in baby carrier, take load out of dryer, put new loads washing and drying. Sun is shining, so instruct kids to get boots and coats on to go for a walk
1200 Come home early from walk as J has to go potty (he won't pee outside yet) Check mail. Change his pants that are soaked from splashing in a puddle they found on our walk. Baby still awake in carrier
1205 Back outside, hear phone, so go back in to take call
1215 Off phone, L changes his wet pants, back outside to finish walk (and hopefully get baby to sleep)

1240 Back from walk. On the walk, we discuss the fall leaves turning color, and how that happens. Also, how the sun makes shadows. Pick a few strawberries. Baby still awake and starting to get fussy. Heat up leftovers for lunch (lasagne, green beans, fried potates, spinach dip and crackers)
1:10 pm Finish lunch, baby fusses in car seat throughout, so I rock her with my foot while eating and cutting boys food. I decide now to just keep her up for another hour, so she and J can nap at same time
1:20 Check clothes coming out of washer for stains before throwing in dryer. 3 items need more treatment. Start another batch washing and drying. Send L with clean batch to my room to unload basket on my bed to fold. Boys try to amuse E, not working. She's tired...so they go back to drawing pictures on paper on the floor (L drawing semi-trucks, J poking holes in paper with a pen)
1:25 Find some scissors and cut an annoying tag of E's bib. Change her diaper. Have boys put lunch plates in dishwasher. They want more crackers so I give them some. I heat up another 1/2 cup of coffee.
1:30 Coffee out of microwave. Realize I haven't started cookies yet. Put it off until little ones are napping (at the same time, hopefully) and L can help me. Holding baby and walking house with her until 2 when J starts getting tired. While walking I see a photo album with 2 pics I need to scan for an upcoming blog idea. Scan them while standing and baby E is pulling my hair and chewing on my shoulder. I see a favorite shirt in one picture and remember that I need to buy some dye to dye it, as it got bleach on it (from those Clorox wipes at church, I'm usually banned from using bleach) Find grocery list book, and write that down.
1:40 Boys are still hungry (or so they claim). Get them each an apple. Find 2 more items for Goodwill pile (I'm clearing house these days) and also find nail clippers for L to clip his nails after he's done his apple














2:00 J gets a book, goes potty. I lay down with 2 little ones. Nurse E.
2:25 Both kids now asleep, L has been waiting in kitchen to start cookies. Have to clean off counter before we can start. Start dishwasher running, wash a few hand dishes, check on laundry. Next batch is washed, and I realize that I've forgotten to press start on the dryer last time, so I have 2 wet, none dry. L still waiting for me.
2:40 Trying to find some ginger. Find all sorts of other spices that I've bought in bulk and need to be put in jars. Do that. No ginger though. I do have some fresh, so L grates that to use instead. We discuss fractions while measuring out the ingredients (1/4 means 4 parts fit in 1, 1/2 means that 2 parts do)
3:10 Dough is made, in fridge chilling for 15 min. L licks beaters. Take a drink of water and sit down to relax until timer goes off (7 min left after I washed the dishes) Sit down and read one sentence in a magazine and I hear E waking up.
3:30 E had a burp, I try nursing her back to sleep, no luck. Get her up, change diaper. J is up too. Put E in Bumbo chair on counter while I make cookies. J sits there beside her. L is on a chair helping me roll cookies in sugar and puts them on the pan. E is chewing on a package she found on the counter.
4:00 Last batch in oven. Reheat last of coffee to try with gingersnaps. Boys licking bowl and spoons. E watches enviously while chewing on a boring spatula. I try a cookie. Very good. I made them with spelt flour to increase nutrition and you can't tell. I'd say it adds flavor. The fresh ginger is really good too. I might just use that from now on.
4:05 Take a picture of the boys rubber boots by the door (another blog idea)
4:10 Check 3 kids clothes. Does anyone need cleaning up before we go? No, looks good. Wash all faces and hands. Throw last load of laundry in dryer and hang on rack. To my bedroom with baby E to start folding clothes. Give the boys each a swat on backside (through clothes) for ignoring my request to go get some socks on (we have to leave as soon as Daddy gets home) They obey, and I help J with his. (although L said, "that didn't hurt, Mom". Recruit J to help me chug (train terminology) the last laundry basket.
4:45 (Supposed to be leaving for dinner, G not home yet)
4:50 G gets home, quickly showers, I have had a few extra minutes to finish folding laundry. E plays in crib with mobile while I do so. Boys fold washcloths and match socks, and find their clothes in the mountain. Change E's diaper and clothes.
5:15 Get out the door, text friend that we're going to be late (Dinner at 5:30, it takes an hour to get there) L and E fall asleep on way there (E only 1 mile before their house) Enjoy dinner and homeschool talk about our coming year (goals, what we've found works so far). The one husband was homeschooled himself (for 4 years), so he shares what he liked/disliked. (Like: everything, dislike: wishes his dad didn't work so much, so could've been more involved)
11:15 Get home, E slept about half the way, after crying the first half. Boys still awake but in pj's
Feed them snack and do prayers, tuck them in. Help G put clean sheets back on bed, didn't have time earlier.
11:50 J is still awake, coughing. G goes in a puts Vicks on him. He then starts crying. G goes back and can't figure out what he wants. I'm nursing E all this time.
12:00 J still crying, L complaining "J is crying and I can't get to sleep". I stop nursing E, hoping she's asleep. She seems to be. Go see if I can figure out why J is crying. After many questions, I finally ask him if he wants me to lay down with him. I finally get a yes. So I lay down, sing them 2 songs and they are both asleep.
12:05 Back in my own bed to stay. Transfer E to her crib and go to sleep. Good night.