Obedience

The other night 5 of us Canadian girls that live around here got together for our annual Christmas "evening". We are all at the same stage of life, which is mothers to small children. One of the topics of discussion was about getting kids to obey. The question was, "should we explain to our kids why or why not we decide yes/no when they ask if they can do something?" There were many pros and cons to the subject, as we each voiced our opinion. My son L always wants to know the "why Mom?", and sometimes I explain, but then I feel guilty if I don't explain it. Deep down I feel that I am the parent, and shouldn't have to explain my reasons for deciding what I do. And there always is a reason, as we all know. No conclusion was made, but today enlightenment came.

We are reading "Little House in the Big Woods" by Laura Ingalls Wilder to the kids, and tonight here is the excerpt I found significant, when Laura and Ma went to milk the cow.

When Laura walked behind Ma on the path to the barn, the little bits of candle-light from the lantern leaped all around her on the snow. The night was not yet quite dark. The woods were dark, but there was a gray light on the snowy path, and in the sky there were a few faint stars. The stars did not look as warm and bright as the little lights that came from the lantern.

Laura was surprised to see the dark shape of Sukey, the brown cow, standing at the barnyard gate. Ma was surprised, too.

It was too early in the spring for Sukey to be let out in the Big Woods to eat grass. She lived in the barn. But sometimes on warm days Pa left the door of her stall open so she could come into the barnyard. Now Ma and Laura saw her behind the bars, waiting for them.

Ma went up to the gate, and pushed against it to open it. But it did not open very far, because there was Sukey, standing against it. Ma said:

“Sukey, get over!” She reached across the gate and slapped Sukey’s shoulder.

Just then one of the dancing bits of light from the lantern jumped between the bars of the gate, and Laura saw long, shaggy, black fur, and two little, glittering eyes.

Sukey had thin, short, brown fur. Sukey had large, gentle eyes.

Ma said, “Laura, walk back to the house.”

So Laura turned around and began to walk toward the house. Ma came behind her. When they had gone part way, Ma snatched her up, lantern and all, and ran. Ma ran with her into the house, and slammed the door.

Then Laura said, “Ma, was it a bear?”

“Yes, Laura,” Ma said. “It was a bear.”

[...] He didn’t hurt us,” Ma said. “You were a good girl, Laura, to do exactly as I told you, and to do it quickly, without asking why.”

Ma was trembling, and she began to laugh a little. “To think,” she said, “I’ve slapped a bear!”

The answer is right there. When (or if) you get in a situation where you need your kid to obey, you need them to do it NOW, without asking why. I do recall a story where a family's house was on fire and the dad (on the ground) told his son on the second floor to jump out the window and he'd catch him. The boy disobeyed and said he'd go down the stairs through the burning house. The father never saw him again. I'd hate to be the parent that when I needed my child to obey in a time of trouble and they didn't. Prayerfully we can teach this concept to our little ones, because it's so much easier said than done.