Back when I was a kid, my Mom was relentless on us being kind to others. She still is today. I hated her and loved her for that. She never let our self-pity or selfishness get in the way of us being kind to the others, like our friends parents often did. She was the mom who always made sure that no one was left out, and that everyone felt welcome. One of the biggest lessons in my life was about being kind to a new girl at school. You can read it here, if you haven't already.
Recently my Mom sent me a story about a girl who was invited to a birthday party and didn't want to go but her mom made her. (Mom remembered my story about the camping trip) In the end, she was the only girl who showed up and made the birthday girl's day by helping her enjoy her day. The full story can be found here, about how the kindness of one person can make a huge difference. What if no one came? How would we feel to be the birthday girl and no one came to our party? I'm sure we can all think of times when we could have been more kind and gone out of our way a bit more, and I'm sure we can all think of times where we wish others would have done the same for us.
My Mom's famous words were, "there's someone new, go make them feel welcome!" The worst words for a shy, introverted kid like myself to hear (especially when they were male exchange students a few years older!) I still often cringe when I see new people in my familiar settings, because I hear my Mom's words, "go make them feel welcome!" and she often followed it up with, "how would you feel if you were the new person and didn't know anyone?" Ouch! Yep, I still don't like the feeling of being in a crowd and not knowing anyone with no one reaching out and welcoming me either.
Last weekend Elise and I went to a retreat where we only knew a couple people in a group of 300. I was so nervous about being there, but remembered my Mom's words about forgetting my own self-preservation tendencies, and focused on welcoming others instead. What a blessing it is when we can do that! We had a great time, and I need not have worried!
Fast forward now to my own parenting years. I reiterate those same words over and over to my kids too, that my Mom told me. They are often shy and quiet in new settings, and often selfish in their own familiar settings (not concerned with others well-being, only their own). But that's no excuse for not reaching out, is it?
Our Luke recently joined the track team at the school, and has the disadvantage of not knowing but one other boy on the team because he doesn't go to school with these kids. On the first day, he was excited but came home a bit discouraged because he didn't really know where he should be and what he should be doing. The second day, he felt like quitting, because it was quite lonely and no one reached out to him (he joined a week late so had missed the tours/explanations). But, on day 3, one boy noticed that he was lost/alone and welcomed him in and showed him all around. He took the time to take him to each station and showed him how it all works. Luke came home that day with a big smile on his face, and it has remained there ever since. He loves track. He feels welcomed (even if only by 1 other kid) and he wants to go each day. If that one boy hadn't been kind, how fun would it have been? How enjoyable is it to be alone, day after day?
So, don't underestimate how your kindness might change someone's day or someone's life. Even if a smile or small word of encouragement is all we have to give, we can all give something!
