"My Utmost for His Highest" by Oswald Chambers

A warning which needs to be repeated is that "the cares of this world and the deceitfulness of riches," and the lust for other things, will choke out the life of God in us (Matthew 13:22). We are never free from the recurring waves of this invasion. If the frontline of attack is not about clothes and food, it may be about money or the lack of money; or friends or lack of friends; or the line may be drawn over difficult circumstances. It is one steady invasion, and these things will come in like a flood, unless we allow the Spirit of God to raise up the banner against it.

"I say to you, do not worry about your life . . . ." Our Lord says to be careful only about one thing-our relationship to Him. But our common sense shouts loudly and says, "That is absurd, I must consider how I am going to live, and I must consider what I am going to eat and drink." Jesus says you must not. Beware of allowing yourself to think that He says this while not understanding your circumstances. Jesus Christ knows our circumstances better than we do, and He says we must not think about these things to the point where they become the primary concern of our life. Whenever there are competing concerns in your life, be sure you always put your relationship to God first.

"Sufficient for the day is its own trouble" (Matthew 6:34). How much trouble has begun to threaten you today? What kind of mean little demons have been looking into your life and saying, "What are your plans for next month— or next summer?" Jesus tells us not to worry about any of these things. Look again and think. Keep your mind on the "much more" of your heavenly Father (Matthew 6:30).

Marriage thoughts

I was recently asked what makes a happy marriage, and although I know what some of the 'secrets' are deep down, to actually write them down is harder. I would say 1) the Golden Rule (treat your spouse as you want to be treated in all things) 2) forgive sins before they ever admit them or ask 3) don't be selfish (everytime G or I have difficulties it all comes down to selfishness on one or usually both of our parts) 4) if you need a hug, cuddle, etc. ask for it. Don't assume your spouse knows these things because they can't read your mind. 5) Seek Godly wisdom from the Bible and respected elders who've been happily married for years (decades would be better) 6) Be the first to make things right. 7) Don't discuss 'hot' topics when you are tired, irritated, stressed, etc. That only makes things worse. Wait until you are well rested and not in the heat of the moment as we all tend to say things we'll regret. 8) Do what is best for your marriage (not what your parents, inlaws, etc. think is best), and don't share unnecessary information about your marriage with people other than your spouse. It may feel like venting, but isn't putting the best construction on your spouse (would you like it if they did that about you?) 9) Never use your spouses weak areas to your own gain. When we marry and live with someone, we quickly learn what their weaknesses are (as they do for us). To use these as tools in a disagreement is lower than polititians do to each other, and is never acceptable. To end, I'll quote my favorite quote from Ravi Zacharias, "there is never a good enough reason to be unkind to one another".

Enjoying relaxing with my sweetie. One of the favorite things to do of all time.

A couple of my favorite pictures of the boys in Florida

One day at a time

Just a few days later, and glad to report that today is going well. Still haven't figured out the kid things, but at least I feel a bit more ready to tackle the challenges when they arise. This comes from 1) encouragement from God (through His Word and church) 2) encouragement from my husband 3) encouragement from friends who patiently listen and sympathize without letting me carry things out too far 4) a hot bath, a cup of tea, a chunk of dark chocolate, sunshine through the windows and those other little perks that lift you up so much when you need a lift. I have been getting some long put off projects done as well, which helps me feel like things are going forwards in some areas, even if not in others. I think the biggest fear I have right now, is that I'll end up with nursing/food/sleep issues with new baby like we went through with J, and I can't even think of that without shuddering. Luckily we don't know the future, and likely I'll be faced with a whole new set of challenges, but at this point have a hard time looking at all into the future and thinking of what life will be like with a new baby, as the thoughts themselves overwhelm me. The nightmares we've gone through with J are still too fresh in my mind (and far from solved as well). "One day at a time, sweet Jesus, that's all I'm asking of you, Give me the strength, to do every day, what I have to do," I try to sing to myself and it helps. That is all God asks, that we trust Him one day at a time.

A New Year, not so new thoughts

Wow! I didn't realize how long it's been since I've written on here, but have felt very uninspired lately and am trying to figure it all out. I haven't ever (in my life that I can recall) felt like this before, and I think alot has to do with pregnancy hormones. Excess of certain ones and depletion of others that I am used to having around in my body. I'm hoping that this produces a baby girl (as that is what many people have told me about being pregnant with girls), so that the feelings and lack of feelings that are abiding with me will end here in a few months. Who knows though. It's also winter, after a wonderful vacation, and my boys have been driving me crazy with their lack of discipline (which is my fault, I know, but I haven't had the energy to deal with). I do wonder though, (to those of you with older children)...how much dawdling should be allowed, and how much should not? How much do you let them make their own choices (at 3 yrs old) and how much do you make them abide by yours? I guess it's probably a lifetime of finding that medium ground, but I wish there was an easier answer. I hate nagging or being a drill seargent, and do know in theory how this whole thing SHOULD work, but can't seem to make it happen. I'd love to get things under control before new baby shows up, as I know spanking kids while you're nursing a baby is rather difficult but just can't seem to figure it all out. Do they need more attention or less? Do they need more of their own choices or less (to learn who is boss)? Do they need a nap or will we pay more if they don't take one. Do I give them less food so I don't have to nag them to eat, and then hear them whine because "I'm hungry, I want a snack" all afternoon? And how come both kids cannot sleep through the night on the same night. Just once, would be nice. J finally started (again for the millionth time) sleeping all night, and what do you know: L is up then every night and although doesn't "need" me, has to wake me to tell me he has to go to the bathroom. So now, L is sleeping all night again and J is up 1-4 times (more molars) They'll likely finish coming in about the end of April right when I can't sleep because of pregnancy discomfort or the baby actually gets here. Anyways, I'll close before I get too whiny. Life is good, and the boys do make me laugh most of the day...it's just that for many months I haven't felt myself, and that is rather frustrating since I am not able to be who I want to be (I'd love to have over some company, but can't seem to make it happen), and also have been way more emotional than I care to admit. I'm chalking it up to hormones at this point, and will let you know in about May if things have changed. I'll finish with a cute thing Luke said the other day. We were having "Show and Tell" at Sunday School and he was telling about finding seashells on the beach on our Florida trip. The one teacher asked him, "Did God make those seashells?" and he answered, "No, they were just sitting there."