Just a couple quick book reviews today. Haven't read much lately, but I did plug through these books for good measure! I've also read a few books on neuroplasticity that were so boring that I can't even muster up the strength to open them again (and shipped them right back to the library where they belong!) I am enjoying reading the Anne of Green Gables series this winter for fun reading. I haven't read them since I was a teenager, and maybe I didn't even read them then. I can't remember. I do own one that is pretty old but I don't remember where I got it or when. I had the kids endure watching the 3- 2 parts marathon when we were sick, and then thought maybe I should read them and see how accurate the movies are. They've been enjoyable for these long winter nights in my bath and while waiting at wrestling practice.
Missing Microbes by Martin J. Blaser M.D. (How the overuse of antibiotics is fueling our modern plagues) was a really good read. He's a doctor that specializes in the role of bacteria in our health or lack of it. Some interesting statistics he states in the book are:
-the average child has received 3 courses of antibiotics by the time they are 2
-the average child has received 17 courses by the time they are 20
-in their 20s and 30s they will receive another 13 courses
-children given antibiotics in childhood had much higher rates of type 1 diabetes and celiac disease
(would we give them as freely if we knew this would be the result?)
How much is too much? How much is actually necessary? How much is damaging?
The answer is all of them are too much, as all of them cause damage. Very few are actually necessary. They kill not only the germs, but all the innocent bystanders (good microbes) as well. This leads to the increase of resistant bacteria, an overgrowth of the bad guys. So we end up worse than where we began. It also leads to mutations and antibiotic resistance where the same antibiotic won't kill what it's needed to kill after a while. This is why there's such a big concern with MRSA, staph infection, strep issues and the like.
Antibiotics in our food is another concern. Farmers give antibiotics in the animals food for several reasons. One is for keeping more of them in too close of quarters (feedlots or massive barns) the other is so they gain more weight. Watch American Meat documentary for more details. If animals gain more weight with antibiotics, do people as well? The answer is yes. Children given antibiotics in the first 6 months of their life had the most obesity in childhood and later in life too. If they were born by c-section that number was also high as their mothers were given it. He gives the data for it all, I'm just summarizing. Antibiotics can make a difference in your height as well. Having certain pathogens in your gut (h. pylori for example) makes you shorter, so killing that off can make you taller during childhood. The direct correlation isn't completely understood, because nutrition and stress and other factors also play a role. The soldiers in the Revolutionary war were on average 6" taller than those in the Civil war. What made the difference? Microbes had a huge role to play in this.
Microbes are also directly correlated to higher rates of type 1 (juvenile onset) diabetes as well as celiac disease. Type 1 diabetes is doubling rates over each of the last 20 years. In this doctor's data, the risk factors were babies born by c-section, boys who are tall and babies who gained more weight rapidly in the first year of life. All signs of perturbation of microbes in their bodies. With celiac disease, for those who were recently diagnosed, 40% of them had been prescribed antibiotics in the previous months prior to celiac diagnosis. Is gluten sensitivity a result of antibiotic use? Good chance, due to the upset of the gut microbes that help digest it and break it down in the body. There also could be a h.pylori connection here too.
So, what do we do? We can't just stop using them, but we need to be more strict on when and why. We also need to research alternatives that aren't so damaging. We have a friend who is a dentist who used to always prescribe preventative antibiotics before any procedures. She said she no longer does that, as the damage to the gut health is far greater than the risk of infection. She only uses them if infection is actually present now. Which can also be avoided by natural antibiotics and antivirals.
Start implementing things like garlic, oil of oregano, colloidal silver, black seed oil, and I am starting to use homeopathics which also act like antibiotics in the body as they strengthen the areas that are weak so that our bodies can heal themselves. There are many herbs and vitamins that strengthen immunity too. We can also look at how we are eating, if that is increasing our chance of getting infections overall or if we are eating in a way that supports body health to resist infection. Sugar is the biggest thing that feeds bad pathogens of any sort, so limiting that is the most basic thing we can do.
One of our children was given 1 round of antibiotics when he was 3 for a minor infection, and about 6 weeks later his mood slowly went from cheerful to sullen. I had given probiotics after for quite some time to help counter the effects, but that cheerful happy boy has never returned. The antibiotics didn't even get rid of the infection, plain old garlic did. I truly had no idea how much damage was done by them, or how long it would affect him. We still aren't back on track. Oh, well. What would our children be like if we never had to give them any antibiotics? Is it a reasonable goal? Hmm.
The next book is called Love in Every Season by Debra Fileta. I was recommended this author (different book) and since the library didn't have the one recommended, I read this one. She talks about how relationships go through all the "seasons" and how to navigate them well. She is a Christian counselor and I feel like all the advice she gives is really good. I found a lot of gems for teaching our own teens how to navigate relationships when the time comes.
1) Human beings are magnetic, we tend to attract the people who are similar to us physically, emotionally and spiritually. And we naturally repel the rest. This also means if we are unhealthy in these areas we also seem to attract people who are unhealthy in the same categories. Taking responsibility for getting ourselves healthier in any of these areas will attract people who also are healthier in these areas.
2) Dating is the trouble shooting period when we are getting to know someone. It is not the no-turning-back road to marriage. Be willing at any point to let go and move on if red flags arise. It's the time to be honest with our own selves and give the other person an honest assessment of our strengths and weaknesses, and let them do the same. Loving but brutal self assessment and portrayal is essential. Be willing to ask God to prune you so that you can be a healthier person day by day.
3) Don't put God "in the center of the relationship" too soon. This may sound like bad advice, coming from a Christian counselor, but she said she's seen over and over how people share devotions and prayer far too early in the relationship. These are both deep, intimate things to do; and you don't want to go there yet in case you decide it isn't a good fit. People end up bonding spiritually long before they bond emotionally, without any commitment in place yet. They go too deep, too fast. She encourages them to talk over spiritual things, but do it objectively to learn where each other stands, and keep your prayer life single until the commitment stage. If we are honest in prayer, we are also vulnerable. Don't share these things too early. This can also lead to monotony later on. Everything needs to be in balance with each other, not too much of one thing but not enough of the others.
4) Show your true colors. If a relationship progresses to marriage, true colors will eventually show up. Sometimes they'll surprise you, sometimes they'll scare you. There's the good colors, bad colors, ugly colors. What may be cute now may be annoying later. Be honest with each other most of all.
5) To go with true colors, we're going to come up with differences. Compatability is "the ability to come together despite these differences". The ability to work together and see life through each other's perspective. Differences can be the catalyst to growth, maturity or well-roundedness. But they can also be the source of conflict.
6) How we handle different issues are learned behavior. It isn't black or white, right or wrong. It's a accumulation of what each of us has learned in our lives. Finding someone with similar views on money and similar socioeconomic status is a good idea, or similar cultural, family or religious upbringing, or similar age (less than 5 years is ideal), or educational similarities (as in the value put on education, as the investment of our time). Lifestyle habits and morals and values come into play as well.
7) In order to find a good match, we most of all need to be a good match. Know our own strengths and weaknesses, and dig deep into our own morals, values and beliefs. Address our baggage. Ask yourself "who fits into my story"? Who helps me to be a better person than I could be on my own? Compatability isn't something that we find, it's something that we choose.
8) Conflict. 69% of conflict is considered "unsolvable". This is because it is our personality, perspective or deep-seated beliefs. These are things that don't magically go away or are not easily changed. It doesn't matter if you marry Julie or Andrea, Brian or Chris. The list will be different, but just as long. Maybe one person is great with a budget but never on time, or vise versa. Things like that. She says, "marriages are successful to the degree that the problems you choose are ones you can cope with." So choose problems that you are willing to be okay with (and not try to fix!)
9) Use conflict as a way to build deeper intimacy. It's the key to building connection, but we can also use it as the key to disconnect. We get to choose. Prepare for it in advance, and play fair.
10) Be honest. She uses Adam and Eve to explain how they thought by lying to God they would solve their problems with disobedience, but it only led to more problems. She calls it "bare branches". Be vulnerable. Don't be so desperate to be wanted or loved that you have to lie to get it. This includes sins or damage by omission (don't ask, don't tell). It's lying all the same. 60% of people lie regularly to appear "likeable". Do we also lie to ourselves? To God?
11) Trust is not something you give, it must be earned. On both sides. Has trust been broken? How can it be healed?
12) 10 things to ask, not to assume: your past, your family, views on sex, your secrets, your expectations about life, your views on money, your faith, on children, boundaries, sins and struggles. These questions should be reasked over the years in any season of "fall" when the bare branches are coming exposed again, and then worked through. It's an invitation to know and to be known. To understand each other more deeply.
13) Are you in a winter season? Cold and apathetic? Find the root cause, discuss it, and come up with an action plan. How can we touch each other more each day? Connect verbally? Why can't we make it a priority? Address the realities, or at least own them. Sometimes there are outside factors that are overwhelming (extended caregiving or illness, etc). But acknowledging them is the start.
