Art of Conversation II and Time Spent

Lately I've been again pondering conversation.  You may recall my previous post here which is still quite accurate (in my humble opinion), but I'll add a few more thoughts today. I've been in a couple social situations recently where there has been excess quantities of "small talk". Now, perhaps I'm over-analyzing the subject, but I guess I just don't know what to do in these cases.  I'm really bad at making small talk.  And, I'm really bad at listening endlessly to small talk.  It's so lame and meaningless.  

This came after I was recently approached by an older lady who came to talk to me after walking away from a conversation that she labeled "shop talk".  She said that she could hardly stand there and listen to "shop talk" as it was so pointless.  She said that she had worked out of her home for many years when she was younger, and regretted the amount of time that it took away from the two things that were of so much more value- faith and family.  She went on wondering why people spend so much time in meaningless conversation that doesn't do the body or soul any good.  I really appreciated her candor and have been wondering how to be a person who pursues deeper conversation in those awkward yet frequent "light" social settings.

One thing I have come up with is (especially on Sundays) is to talk about the sermon at church.  Ask more questions, talk about the areas that were encouraging to you, or that you really needed to hear for the week.  Another is to ask how each others spiritual life is going.  In fact, in our pastor's sermon this past Sunday, he mentioned how many of us are eager to share our health struggles and work struggles and life struggles, but somehow don't want to share our spiritual struggles.  He said how frustrating it is for a pastor to hear round-a-bout of someone's spiritual challenges (usually much after the fact) and not be able to help.  The family of God is there to help and lift up each other, so let's take advantage of it.  Not only to ask for help, but to praise Him also for what He's doing in our lives.

I guess another thing that has come to me recently is about time spent.  Our influences, who we influence, our results of what we put into something, how our children behave, who influences our children, how much of a priority different things are.  They all come down to time spent.  The most time spent will yield the results of that time.  Time spent in the Word, will yield the blessings therein.  Time spent in front of the TV, will yield the results of that.  Time spent around bullies, will yield bullies.  Time spent around Godly examples, will yield as such.  Time spent eating junky food, will yield health problems later on.  We reap what we sow.    So many folks (myself included at times) think that by being lazy in certain areas that it will be not be detrimental in the long run.  Bad influences crop up here, there and everywhere; and especially as Christian parents, we can't afford to let them grow from shoots into full grown weeds in our children.  Galatians 6:7  Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.  I think of a former boss of mine, who reiterated to me over and over how much her children were her top priority in her life ("quality time", she quoted) in yet I could not see (as a single person at the time) how that could be possible.  When you spend 8 hours each day working, 8 (+/-) sleeping, add in meals (usually on the run before sports, school), chores and groceries, social events,  etc., there just aren't enough hours left in a day to have much quality time.  Time spent is time spent.  We can't get those moments back, so let's choose to spend them wisely.  A radio program I used to listen to in Arizona focused on "intentional living", and that is what we must do as Christians.  Every choice must be intentional rather than reactionary (after the fact).  Sure, there are times when we have to react after something adverse has happened, but the main direction of our life needs to be intentional.

Here's a few thoughts to close...do what you want with them!

And the most difficult of all...

To quote or not to quote

I hear things quoted pretty often, and am guilty myself of often misquoting things, but here's a few that I'd like to elaborate on, in case you've heard them used.

These quotes are all taken (loosely) from the Bible, and are not only quoted incorrectly much of the time, but also interpreted incorrectly too (or out of context).  

1.

Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)  ^"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Jeremiah 29:11 (KJV) For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.

This first one has been quoted to me to justify someone's divorce and another person's homosexual lifestyle.  Umm...no and no.  That's not God's plan at all.  If you read the verse in context, you will find that God's plan for these people is the saving of their souls, not their prosperity and fun as is often implied.  Yes, He has plans for His children, but in the end it is the saving of our souls that He's worried about.  If you read the King James Version, it gives a much more accurate picture of not only what this verse means to us, but also what it means to the people held in captivity in Babylon.

 2.

"Moderation in all things, hey?" or "Be moderate in everything".  This has been used to justify plain old sin, lack of convictions, addictive substances, dieting, exercise, and just about everything else.  The real verse  states:  Philippians 4:5  "Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand".  It says nothing about encouragement of things that are not edifying to the body or soul all in the name of moderation.   The dictionary meaning is:  "MODERA'TION, n. [L. moderatio.] The state of being moderate, or of keeping a due mean between extremes or excess of violence.   eg. The General's moderation after victory was more honorable than the victory itself."  I guess I would encourage all of us to shape our behavior after this verse below instead (while adding our overall moderation to the list).  Philippians 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

 3.

"God won't give you more than you can handle" is how it's often said.  Well, I just don't know about that.  It says here that he won't tempt you more than you are able.   Being tempted is much different than having your plate full and being overwhelmed.  Or being burdened by health concerns, job concerns or life worries of some sort or another.  Often I think that we underplay helping others or even believing those who are not coping by saying this incorrect phrase.  If someone is overwhelmed and needs help, then we need to believe them, and either help them ourselves or help them seek help.  Here's the verse itself:
1 Corinthians 10:13 There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

For an example of this, I think of the many people who end up taking their own lives.  Why do they get to that point?  Is it their lack of faith that leads them there?  Clearly, no.  They needed help and it was not available to them (whether due to their own reasons or other reasons).  We often don't know why.   Or I think of a mother with many young children facing yet another baby when her husband is away working long hours.  Is she overwhelmed? Yes.  Is she trying to do God's will?  Yes.  Is she less deserving of help than the young new mother with her first baby?  No.  What are her options?  She either handles it or she ditches everything and everyone or she ends up in the nuthouse.  Was she being tempted?  No.  But she had too much on her plate and needed help.  Or I think of the many people in our world's history who died a painful, slow death.  I think of war heroes, martyrs, childbirth, suffering epidemics.  What was their way to escape?  They didn't have one and had to go to the death with their afflictions.  

I believe this verse is more talking about sin type temptations.  Having Jesus in our hearts gives us the strength to endure temptations that may lead us to sin.  We make choices all along the way, with the Holy Ghost dwelling in us guiding us and showing us right from wrong.  I know that in my life, the times I have ended up in sinful places or doing sinful things, I had lots of time and reasons to get out before I got there.  I chose to ignore those "red flags" and thus ended up where I shouldn't have been.  Sometimes sin happens out of ignorance, but most of the time our conscience is a pretty reliable navigator.

Let's not take this verse lightly or use it to minimize someone else's struggles, but rather use empathy and help out when we can.  

I don't claim to be a Bible scholar or anything like it, so if you have a different understanding, please share!  Thoughts?  

(I put in some of my favorite "Shepherdess" pictures for your viewing pleasure.  I absolutely love these old paintings, and wish I owned more of them.  I only own a copy of the first one.)

Random September Update

I'll tell you, there is absolutely nothing exciting about this post.  I just haven't written in a while and figured I should.  Our laptop needs a new power cord, and it's not exactly on the top of the financial priority list, so I have to type on our desktop which isn't the most comfortable. (such hardships, I know!)  Anyhow, we've been working on getting our little Mr. 1 year old to sleep better, which has meant that I've been sleeping better too (sometimes) but am still in need of a good many hours to reach my quota from a year of deprivation.  I'm back taking my adrenal support vitamins too, as I could feel myself back into the lacking area there as well.  Hopefully we'll get back on track here again! (I usually write my blog posts after everyone is in bed for the night, but sleep has been calling me first lately)

We started school again this fall, and are trying to figure out what schedule works the best.  The kids think their best in the morning, but also need to be active in the morning (aka. working) or else they're bored and fighting all afternoon and evening.  We also should be outside in the morning when the weather is so nice, as it has been getting almost hot in the afternoon.  And, I need to get my work done in the morning too.  So, I've been juggling different schedules to see what works best when for this stage of life.  Also, trying to get them to realize that playing isn't all there is to do each day, and that kids need to learn math and phonics, boring as it may seem sometimes.  I try to make it fun and break it up, but sometimes they also just need to buckle down and do it!  ( I told them Dad doesn't exactly like to get up at 0500 every morning for work, and doesn't love all the things he does in a day but still has to do it.  And my job isn't exactly a bed of roses much of the time either, but I still have to do it- not sure if they get the concept though!)  I guess that's what we get after a summer of fun times and lack of work altogether (pretty much so for them, that's for sure).

Greg also hurt his back pretty bad (twice) and has been out of commission for a good amount of time this past month.  Hopefully he's on the mend, but it's been a bit nerve wracking and frustrating for him (and me) not knowing what would/could happen (could he work? would it get better? how long?) in the future.  So far he's missed minimal work, but has to be really careful to lift correctly and stretch properly and go to the chiropractor when needed.  He also is supposed to exercise it a great deal and also rest it a great deal, so finding that balance is difficult.

My cousin's daughters were also in a serious car accident, which threw my head in a whirl for a while there.  The whole week after it happened I was only able to think about them and pray for them.  We were supposed to go to a homeschool workshop and I could barely get food on the table that week.  Thankfully the girls are recovering slowly (the younger girl is now just coming out of her coma, a month later), but it's taken a toll on me (and our whole family) emotionally and spiritually.  Maybe even more so than I had realized.  Greg's Papa is also going downhill health-wise, and he (Greg) has been having a hard time being away from him at this time.  Greg was their first grandchild and has had some pretty special treatment from his grandparents over the years. 

Well, I should get off to bed before my littlest waker-upper wakes me up for the first time tonight.  We've been having sleep issues with 3/4 kids (all the boys) these days so I'm really puzzled what that's all about.  Not sure what's causing it, and not sure what to do about it either.  So, I'll just let them sleep out on the couch if that's what makes them sleep! (well, not the baby...but you know what I mean)

Luke turns 7

It's long overdue, but Luke turned 7 in May.  I've been hesitant to write because I just haven't known what to say.  I just love this boy so dearly, and it seems like often I take it for granted how blessed we are to have such a son.  I won't say that he's "amazing, smart, perfect and wonderful" like so many parents think their kids are.  He's human just like the rest of us, but both Greg and I know we are truly blessed by God to have him in our family.

This boy is our biggest train lover.  From the time he was about 18 months (when he started using a Thomas blanket given to him as a baby gift), he's loved trains.  Anytime, anywhere, any kind.  We've been on a few different ones, and he's thrilled each time we go.  For his birthday, he wanted to go again, so we went on the Mt. Rainier Scenic Railroad, which was quite fun.  I keep thinking he'll outgrow his love and move on to other interests, but it hasn't happened yet!  He also wanted a Thomas cake, which I made and then the kids replaced Thomas with Toby, as Toby is number 7 (since Luke was turning 7).

Luke also loves to read and is currently reading a Calvin and Hobbes that Dad pulled off the shelf for him.  I keep hearing giggling from the corner where he is.  He also happens to have one of the best giggles I've ever heard, which I love to hear.  Last summer in swimming lessons he couldn't do anything the teacher asked, as he was giggling too much.  This summer went much better and he's becoming a good swimmer.

Here's another picture of him in Canada with Grandpa.  He had lots of questions about the farm and loved riding on the tractor, 4-wheeler and bale truck, as well as checking on the cows.  He tried milking the cow over at his aunt and uncle's house, which was harder than he thought!

This summer he was also asked to be a ring bearer in a wedding, to which he obliged.  Seeing him in his tux made me think of him when he gets bigger and wears one at his graduation or something, and it was a little hard on a mommy's heart!  He took it all in stride and just performed his duties as ordered  (which was more keeping an eye on little sis who was the flower girl!)

He's (almost) always willing to help out whenever needed, and we're looking forward to starting 2nd grade tomorrow.  He loves reading and math, so hopefully we can just scoot right along with lessons.  We're starting a formal curriculum this year, so we'll have to just see how it goes!  He loves building "projects" and has designed a few things that he and Dad have put together, the latest which was a Lightening McQueen car that fits inside our wagon so that the kids can tow each other around in it.  It works rather well for a 7 year old's design!