Book review~ Eve in Exile

Part of my book reviews I need to finish up with was the Eve in Exile book that I reviewed a month or so ago in a previous post.  When I was ready to take it back to the library, I realized that it still had a bookmark in it, and that I hadn't finished reviewing the end of the book which is what tied it all together.  

I also want to clarify that this book isn't written, and I'm not writing any of this stuff to put heavies on others to do more or be more or expect more.  If you think that, then you are missing the point.  The point is to notice how the feminist movement that we've all grown up in and been surrounded our whole lives by has left us wanting as women, and it's so subtle that often it's hard to notice where we went off course.  Eve in Exile brings out what went wrong, the how's and why's and what we can do to rectify it.  She writes in the book that the movement itself has pretty much crashed and burned, and now's the time to rebuild better than before.  As Christians, let's lead the way! Soo...

How do we "subdue" and "fill" our homes?  We first have to see it as a hugely meaningful task.  Not a degrading one that needs to be escaped from somehow (shopping, jobs, careers, etc).  The home we live in clearly matters (not the size or shape, but the intrinsic value).  Our homes nurture, provide food and rest, give shelter and create a loyalty to itself to become one of the strongest of all human emotions.  Home is where your people are, and your deepest loves and allegiances lie.  Or it can be a place of contempt, bitterness, envy and strife.  Whatever is the outcome in our own homes, us women are at the helm, and it is not an irrelevant position to hold.  Our aim should first be towards our homes and our husbands and children (if we have them) and then we venture out further after that.  She encourages and explores all sorts of "venturing" depending on your ages and stages.

Filling it includes the fruitfulness of having children to the glory of God, but there are so many other ways to fill and be fruitful that are outside of that.  Nurturing, caregiving, filling the earth with the knowledge and love of God, showing hospitality, making life lovely and beautiful for those around them (inside and out).  When men and pastors go about bringing change, they do it with ideas and very directly.  Women do it more subtly with hot food and love and joy and serving others in everything they do.  Women like Mother Teresa and Amy Carmichael come to mind for me.  I also think of Greg's grandparents (or mine) who his Papa was a Pastor always discussing doctrine and theology way into the night; but his Grandma was the one was busy endlessly opening her home, quietly changing the sheets on the beds yet again, and making sure the men had plenty of coffee and cinnamon rolls to add to their discussion.  Oh, to be more like her someday!  Her silence spoke volumes of her faith and her faithfulness without her having to say a word.   Whatever our lot is, we should see our jobs as poetry.  We shape lives.  We shape loves and loyalties, we weave glorious truths into the souls of the people around us.  It's a tall order for sure, one that I fail at every day, that's for sure!  I certainly am not adding more "heavies" to what we are already bearing, it's just an interesting perspective on how important tending to the care of our own homes and loves.

She also shares how we should strive to be helpers to the men we have; not the men we wish we had or the men we wish our own would become someday.  She likens it to people who dress for the body they wish they have, not the body they have.  It's rather painful to witness.   She encourages us to look at our husbands and their callings and their loves and then glorify those.  Make your children see how amazing their dad is, and how his work is significant and that you and your kids are incredibly privileged to be a part of his life.  A real life example of this she uses is the Pioneer Woman.  Translate that into your own life and use wisdom and discernment to make it glorious.  Own your story!  Ask him what he loves, how he wants his house, how he wants his children raised and then make it happen.  The idea of actually being a helper to your husband rather than pushing your own ideas and dreams and following them doesn't seem real fun, especially if your husbands plans don't seem like a rewarding project; but the results of this will be transformative.  Women change the world this way, ever since Adam and Eve.  They compel their husbands without a word (1 Pet 3:1) to become a whole lot better men themselves.  The women believe in the men they married, that God will give the results.  If you don't have a husband and/or children, there are plenty of needs out there that we can share our love and devotion to.

The last chapter is short and it focuses on the differences between men and women.  How as soon as women start demanding equality, they lose the difference between the sexes and lose their God given glory.  We need to embrace the differences, and realize we've been created to bring glory to God in different ways.  We show and bring glory when we give of ourselves, sacrifice ourselves and submit freely to our husbands (as we vowed to do) and that glory will grow and grow.  We won't notice it, but others will. (Matt 5:16).  When we begin looking at our own perceived needs, our rights, our self-esteem or our fulfillment then our glory decreases.  When we lay our pride down, God will give us of His dignity.  Feminine glory is fruitful, it produces and builds but often looks messy and hilarious and ridiculous to the outsider. (Prov 14:4)  We want all the world to "taste and see that the Lord is good"(Prov 34:8).

I'll let you figure out how to do that for your own life.  Or not.  

Above Rubies retreat synopsis~

* Sorry this is so long, I didn't intend for it to be.

A few weeks ago, Elise and I ventured an hour and a half north for a weekend away by ourselves, but along with about 300 other women and girls (and lots of babies too).  We went to an Above Rubies retreat.  I've been reading their magazine for many years, and thought maybe it would be nice to hear Nancy Campbell speak, and the fact that her daughters were going to be at this one (Pearl and Serene from Trim Healthy Mama and Evangeline the oldest less known but more feisty daughter) sounded like a good one to make it to.  I admire Nancy for her dedication to upholding families in this ungodly world, and am appreciative for her efforts against so many things that would draw us away from a Godly lifestyle. (I was also trying to get Levi less attached to me, so leaving him with Dad was part of the deal!)  We knew a couple other ladies and their daughters going, so that made it more enjoyable and less nervous for me.  There were cabins and lodges to stay in, and healthy meals 3x a day with no dishes or meal planning for me, so that was the real treat!

Onto the retreat...the first night Nancy spent most of the evening teaching about glory.  The glory of our jobs as mothers, the glory of our homes, and of course the glory of the Lord in our lives.  I've been pondering the word glory for the past month or so, so this was nice to hear more about it.  She focused mainly on Greek translations for different Bible verses with the word "glory" in them, and helped translate the meaning better into how it applies to us in our lives. She talked about God wants to give us life abundant, not just "normal" or "status quo".  I'm not sure how that whole process happens on its own, or how we make that happen by our choices yet.  Somehow my life seems pretty plain and boring and normal!

When I looked up the word glory in the Webster's 1828 dictionary (my favorite dictionary), this is the list of definitions it gave.  Yes, so much to learn about glory and how it is woven into a Christian's walk.

GLO'RY, noun [Latin gloria; planus; hence, bright, shining. glory then, is brightness, splendor. The Latin floreo, to blossom, to flower, to flourish, is probably of the same family.]

1. Brightness; luster; splendor.

For he received from God the Father honor and glory when there came such a voice to him from the excellent glory  2 Peter 1:3.

2. Splendor; magnificence.

Solomon, in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Matthew 6:2.

3. The circle of rays surrounding the head of a figure in painting.

4. Praise ascribed in adoration; honor.

Glory to God in the highest. Luke 2:9.

5. Honor; praise; fame; renown; celebrity. 

6. The felicity of heaven prepared for the children of God; celestial bliss.

Thou shalt guide me with thy counsel, and afterwards receive me to glory.  Psalms 73:24.

7. In scripture, the divine presence; or the ark, the manifestation of it.

The glory is departed from Israel. 1 Samuel 4:21.

8. The divine perfections or excellence.

The heavens declare the glory of God. Psalms 19:1.

9. Honorable representation of God. 1 Corinthians 11:8.

10. Distinguished honor or ornament; that which honors or makes renowned; that of which one may boast.

Babylon, the glory of kingdoms. Isaiah 13:19.

11. Pride; boastfulness; arrogance; as vain glory

12. Generous pride.

GLO'RY, verb intransitive [Latin glorior, from gloria.]

To exult with joy; to rejoice.

Glory ye in his holy name. Psa 105. 1 Chronicles 16:10.

1. To boast; to be proud of.

No one should glory in his prosperity.

She also talked of how we all have areas of barrenness in our life, and encouraged us to seek God's will to fill those areas.  And a few more questions to ponder within ourselves over the weekend, as I jotted down in my notes.

*Is there any spiritual, emotional, physical barrenness of any sort in my life? (I wish I had more energy to enjoy my family each day but I don't)

*Do we continually pray for those areas to be filled with His direction?  (No, I usually forget)

*What is our vision for motherhood? (Umm, raise healthy, God-fearing adults)

*Do we have one or are we just floating along?  (Floating along, drowning many days)

*How do we fight for truth and guard against evil in our lives and homes? (Focus on Christ's promises and follow His leading)

*How guard against self-pity and victim mindset as mothers and wives? (Just keep plugging along)

*How do we glory in tribulation or hard times? (Focus on His promises again and again)

No great answers, hey?  Just pretty normal stuff.

The rest of my notes focus on Saturday, which was on dwelling in our homes (being satisfied at home rather than running around all the time), being content as a resolve (not as a result of circumstance or feelings, but as a choice of making up one's mind), being merry-hearted to our husbands and children for the healing of our own minds and hearts and those of others.  

*The home should be a place of wholeness and healing, not a place of strife or contention, so what changes need to be made to make it so?  

*Is our countenance towards our family cheerful, exuberant, smiling?  

*Do we teach our children to lay down their lives for their family and friends and ultimately our Savior, or are we promoting a selfish attitude?  

*Is serving their Savior first and foremost in their lives?  Mothers are the primary justice warriors in the nation, so it all starts at home.  Change the world by changing your home first.  Ask God daily for guidance how to reach your children's hearts for kindness and justice for all.

So, that is pretty much the sum of the retreat itself.  The music was pretty generic praise songs, "I exalt Thee" and "You are worthy" type repetitions.  They did a beautiful reading of the Apostles Creed and then also had Holy Communion (words read directly from the Bible) which were both very refreshing.  Nancy prefers the KJV version, so she used that mostly throughout the retreat, which is familiar to us.  If you're not a homeschooling mama of many, you'll likely feel out of place at her retreats, because she focuses on these aspects over and over, although she did emphasize the place of an older woman in sharing God's word and helping and encouraging the younger mothers.  Also, if you didn't marry young and have lots of babies right away, you'll also likely feel like you're not doing God's will well enough.

I did purchase a couple of her books to work through when we got home, and that's where I started to question things.  When I got home Sunday evening, I was inspired to make some changes in our home.  The two changes I hoped to add mainly was to add more joy and happiness to our days, and to strive for an attitude of loving-kindness between us all.  I explained this to the kids, and told how important this is in our home atmosphere.  Pretty easy right?  I wasn't even out of bed Monday morning when two children were fighting in the room outside my bedroom.  When I asked them to stop, they ignored me.  I flew out of bed very irritated, and grabbed the one child off the other one, and flung him back against the wall with more force than I knew I had.  Yikes!  What was going on?  Where's the joy and peace, the grace and calm repose?  Certainly not in me or my children or home!  I simply can't do what I intend to do, that's for sure.  I'm sure a failure at this mothering, patience, loving-kindness gig!  She didn't mention anything about this in the conference.  Now what?  I grabbed both kids and held them close, and asked forgiveness, and prayed aloud for direction and peace.  I prayed for God to lead us, and not to let our human flesh override our wisdom that we know to be true.

Romans 7:17-18(KJV)  Now then it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me. For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not.

Contents of The Power of Motherhood

As I started reading her books (The Power of Motherhood, Daily Light on the Daily Path KJV and 100 Days of Blessing), I was hoping for her to teach about days like I was having.  Her teaching is called "encouragement", but I started to feel more and more guilt.  Guilt for one thing on top of another.  Guilt because I can't measure up to the perfect mother status (see list of contents on the left of the huge responsibility it is to raise children "correctly").  Guilt because I can't exercise as much as I should (when I tried to lose some weight over these past few weeks, I gained it instead).  Guilt because I don't eat THM for a perfect figure (I've tried it and couldn't make it work in our life).  Have her daughter's actually ever struggled with their weight?  I doubt it.  Guilt because my kids fight, I don't teach them God's word at every quiet meal and moment, guilt because I haven't "given my womb to the Lord", guilt because I don't have a huge garden and endless energy to make as nutritious meals as I should, guilt, guilt, guilt.  It doesn't matter all the things I do do as a wife and mother, in reading her books none of those were good enough, I need to be intentionally striving for better.  If my husband isn't doing devotions twice a day with our family, he's a failure and shirking his duties.  Doesn't matter if he's at work for 3 hours before we even eat breakfast, or that he's completely frazzled from numbers, noise, job stress by the time we eat supper, he needs to be doing those devotions or our children will go straight to hell and it'll be our fault.  The devotion Daily Light book is the only one I've kept reading, because it's straight from the Bible.  But, we forget to read it more often than we remember.  Oh, well.

1 Peter 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of grace that your prayers be not hindered.

It doesn't matter if we prayerfully seek God's wisdom in our family size, if we don't "let the Lord determine our family size" it isn't good enough.  I've read her book "Be Fruitful and Multiply" many years ago, and the promotion on fertility seems a bit over the top.  The result of what I've seen is that the focus is so heavy on fertility, fertility, fertility that many women who aren't fertile (either through age or circumstance) feel useless and no good or broken.   Nancy doesn't say this of course, but it is implied because of the heavy focus on having more babies.  More babies, babies, babies even if you have serious health issues, are drowning in care of them, have mental illness or depression or whatever else may hinder your care of your children.  Just keep having babies, the Lord will provide!  Umm, no.  Not always.  Sometimes prayerful Godly wisdom and knowledge says otherwise, and we have freedom to choose otherwise.  The other "blessings" that she states about large families has been the opposite of what I've seen.  It isn't all unicorns and rainbows as she would imply.  Lots of bitterness, heartache and strife as well.  Lots of maternal depletion and illness from so many babies.   Lots of wayward, unbelieving children, even with the best training and intentions.   Lots of abuse, either physically, emotionally or sexually because the parents are to busy and/or frazzled to watch behaviors closely.  There's no guarantee of success. I honestly feel in this area this verse below applies.  She doesn't help all these families raise the children, so telling them to have more, have more, have more shouldn't be her domain. Encouraging is one thing, guilt is another.

Matthew 23:4 For they bind heavy burdens and grievous to be borne, and lay them on men's shoulders; but they themselves will not move them with one of their fingers.

Interestingly, a lot of the Christian mentality today seems to think that prior generations did no family planning.  Not so.  I had a great aunt once tell me that her (Christian) grandfather told her father when he was to be married, "You're a farmer, and you wouldn't breed a cow that isn't fully healthy, so you better take much better care of your wife."  *wisdom* *knowledge*  I also had another elder family member who felt overwhelmed with the number of children she had (after very difficult births and no family support, being an immigrant) who moved into another bedroom at that point and they lived that way for the rest of their life.  Seek Godly wisdom from above and He'll lead you in this area as He does in all others.  Imagine that?!

Her other devotions focus on character traits, which are good and Scriptural, but I didn't seem to be able to sort out the real guilt from the human induced guilt.  It's definitely a good thing to challenge each other on our Spiritual walk, but if we are intentionally laying burdens on others, is that encouragement?  The last devotion I read was on the word "resentment".  This is the page on the right.  All good, but I started searching my heart for resentment and didn't find any that needed dealing with, but was questioning it all day whether I really was finding any or if I just was denying the areas that I really was resentful about.  Top this on top of the past several devotions with other words (unhurried, unmovable, untainted, undaunted, uncomplaining, unworried, etc.) that I was searching my heart for areas of guilt all day long and the burden got heavier and heavier.  I couldn't tell anymore what was my own conscience, what was her guilt being heaped on me and what was my logical denial of guilt that I was trying to fight.  It all became one big jumbled mess of failure, guilt and confusion in my heart and mind.  There was no hope.  No matter what I did, it wasn't good enough.  No matter what I didn't do, there was no peace.  After a couple weeks of doing this, I finally broke down.  In church, our Pastor talked in his sermon about submitting to God's will in all areas, and I lost it.  I had no idea what God's will was anymore.  What was God's will, my will or someone else's will upon my life?  I had no idea anymore!

I had no joy, no free spirit, for whatever reason.

When I got home I crumbled.  I cried and cried.  I couldn't sort out what was the root of my struggles, nor was there any hope for the future.  I blubbered many of these fears to my husband, who didn't have any answers either, but prayed over me for calm and peace and wisdom.  (If you know me, I'm not the type to cry over much.  Maybe 5 minutes per year would be an average.  This was totally out of the norm for me.)

Monday morning I awoke and did my normal routine and read my devotion.  And then I read a page in another devotion called GraceLaced I've been reading too and I had my answer.  Nancy's books had no grace.  No forgiveness, no room for failure.  Just raising the bar higher and higher by our own dedication and efforts.  Keep pressing for perfection, and if you aren't doing it well enough, you must not be trying hard enough.  If your children aren't saved, it's your fault.  If they are, then it's to your credit.  Works, works, works.  It's all dependent on you as a mother and wife.  She doesn't ever say this, but she doesn't ever mention grace, forgiveness or resting in God's promises.  It's just do more, be more, expect more.

GraceLaced devotion for the same day.

Even at the retreat the lady in charge was selling t-shirts that said "God is within her, she shall not fail". Every time I would see someone wearing one, I felt like I could never wear that shirt.  I fail every day.  Many times each day.  Fail, fail, fail.  And I need grace, grace, grace.  Do I totally miss the point of this?  Where have I gone wrong, if I'm failing so miserably?  Do you see how a Bible translation changes the meaning of a verse too?  This is where the quote came from:

Psalm 46:5 (KJV) God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved:

Psalm 46:5(NIV) God is within her, she will not fall; 

(They changed the word fall to fail on the shirts, or else I have no idea which version of the Bible they were using.  This verse is also talking about a city not a woman.  Totally inappropriate use of context!  "Failing" and "not being moved" (solid foundation) mean totally different things in our journey. Sigh.)

The truth of it all was my chrysalis moment.  It was where I emerged from under the weight of guilt and realized that I was feeling heavy from burdens that aren't mine to bear.  The guilt I was feeling was all induced and not real.  I can walk by faith, trusting that the Holy Spirit will lead me each day, and not the teaching of man (even with their gazillion Bible verses, some in context, others not).  I have the Holy Spirit in me, so why would He not be leading me already?  Why do I need someone new telling me what to do and not do?  Has my life until now been a total failure (as I felt after reading these books) because I'm not as "enlightened" as she is?  No!  No, no and no!  I'm a child of a King too, and He's been leading me all along.  Some of my choices and life situations are different than hers and that's okay!

When I used to live in Arizona, I listened to a radio program by a Dr. Randy Carlson about Christian living.  It was always very encouraging, whatever the topic.  But then as time went on, his show changed to more and more "intentional living".  I see that now his website has actually been changed to that title.  How sad.  Has the Christian walk changed so much that we do it all for success?  Why do we even need Christ anymore if we just live "intentionally"?  Has the church stooped to the level of corporate America for it's template of success?  What happens when we do everything "right" and we still fail?  What then?   Is it our fault?  What a house of cards it would be if we were responsible for our children's futures, their spouse choices, their careers, their leading instead of letting God do the work.  Since He knows better than us, He'll give us and our children wisdom as needed along the way.  That's what faith is.  Faith isn't a formula given by some man's interpretations.  Faith is making choices day by day, prayerfully seeking God's wisdom.  Intentional living doesn't need faith.  It's got it all figured out already!

Anyhow, in summary, I guess I wonder why I took it all so personally and wasn't able to sort out the wheat from the chaff very well.  I read plenty of books where I just grab a few snippets of truth and let the rest pass by.  Maybe I tried to do it of my own works and didn't let God lead me.  Maybe I just was trying to do to much, too fast.   Maybe I'll be able to read her books again at some point in the future without the same feelings.  Maybe it's just a good thing I came the full circle that I did, so that I can keep doing what I'm doing and not be praising her for my successes and giving "man" the credit rather than God.   I don't know.  I just know that once I stopped reading her books, I've had this incredible peace in my mind and my heart.  Knowing that God doesn't measure me by my good wife-ing or mothering, but only by faith in His Son, Jesus Christ, who died to save me from my sins (all those many, many sins).

Matthew 11:29-30Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.  For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

“When I thought God was hard, I found it easy to sin; but when I found God so kind, so good, so overflowing with compassion, I beat my breast to think I could ever have rebelled against One who loved me so and sought my good.” ~Charles Spurgeon

GraceLaced deovtion on freedom

Sample page of The Power of Motherhood

Mundane Monday

This is just a random post day.  So many thoughts flutter around in my brain and sometimes writing it down helps me to sort them out.  

Keeping track of all my home cultures has me trying to remember what I'm supposed to be doing when, but also excites me because it makes me realize how far we've come on our health journey.  Right now we have 6 different "brews" going.  Greg is making some homemade ginger ale; and I make water kefir, milk kefir, kombucha, raw sauerkraut and sourdough.  As I type, I'm listening to a podcast from Wellness Mama  that is really good for learning more about kombucha.  I make it because I know it's good for us, but didn't really know about all the health benefits and variations to making it.  Exciting!

(the closest thing to a quote from her I could find)

Gardening is sure a love/hate relationship.  If I had $1000(or more) to spend on mulch, wood chips, compost and plants; I'd love gardening.  That's what I like to tell myself anyways.  I really do enjoy the snippets of gardening I when I do get out there, but I get so used to my daily routines that I totally forget to weed, check on plants, water and all those sorts of important things.  My house also goes to pot (in a worse way than the normal disarray we might find it in) whenever I am outside for an extended period of time.  Like 1 hour or so.  I did just write a big note on my white board to remind myself to get out every morning to check on all my plants.   We'll see if that really happens.  I'm also reading a book right now called The Sheer Ecstasy of Being a Lunatic Farmer by Joel Salatin and it's so inspiring.  My brother Jordan got us into reading his stuff, and it makes SO much sense.  Our "farm" may be small, but I know we can make some things happen.  We just have to figure out how.  His books are humorous and eye-opening at the same time.  This TED talk of him excellent also.  I love all the big words he uses, many of which I don't even know what they mean.  Here's a few quotes of his:

Part of our farming included getting more chickens.  The 3 oldest kids used their birthday money to buy them, and will hopefully have enough eggs to sell them and make some profits.  Greg wants them to really start saving money, so they needed a way to actually make some cash.  They'd love to spend any and all dollars on Legos; but we (G & I) don't feel that feeding that obsession would be healthy in any way.  Obsessions should be curbed and contained rather than encouraged, right?  So, we got 20 baby chicks (6 Leghorns, 6 Amerucanas, 6 Gold Sex Links, and 2 Cuckoo Marans).  Isaac got a Standard Bronze turkey so that he wouldn't feel left out, and he named his turkey Mickey (of course).  He has told us he will call him Mickey when he's small and Turkey when he gets big (he's still not too sure about eating him someday although he is trying to get used to the idea).  After the kids came in one day and Elise announced that one of her chicks had pooped on her hand, Isaac said, "Mickey never would poop on anyone's hand!"  Apparently his turkey is phenomenally trained and superiorly intelligent compared to those foolish chickens, that's for sure!   So cute.

James has finally found some books he enjoys.  He went to a Ramona Quimby play with some friends (thanks, Janine) and that inspired him to pick up some Beverly Cleary books.  We then got some from the library and he's been reading up a storm.  Normally this boy can only be found reading cartoons (Calvin & Hobbes, Garfield, TinTin, Smurfs, etc.) and I've tried to get him interested in many different books to no avail.  He's read 3 books in the last week, which is way more than I can usually get him to read in a month, maybe even a year.  I recall being the same way, so I understand it.  There's no point in reading a mediocre book.  I realize now as an adult that much of the reason I didn't read too much when I was young was that I enjoy non-fiction way more than fiction (but I didn't know that then).  And all books geared for teenage girls are fiction.  I have never been one to read to escape reality (I never felt I had anything to escape) so most books were just too uninteresting.  Now that I'm an adult, I realize that my area of interest in the book department is real life.  It's not that I didn't like reading, but more that I just hadn't found the kinds of books I liked.  I'm not much into biographies these days either, but more learning-for-life style books.  What a relief! 

That's all for today.  Lots more thoughts, but it's time to get back outside...and maybe grill some burgers.  I'm sure loving this summery weather these days!

Homemade Italian or Ranch Dressing

We're ranch dressing lovers in this family, and since titanium dioxide (and others) aren't ingredients that we care to ingest if we don't have to, I embarked on a homemade ranch recipe.  I had quite a few un-successes (since a certain husband is a Hidden Valley type of guy) with flavor and also texture on my homemade versions of ranch.  I knew it could be done, as I have tasted fabulous homemade ranch that different friends have made.  After years of trying, tweaking, dumping and shaking; I'll share our version.

First you make the spice mix.  Store it in a jar and then use it for Italian seasoning, Italian dressing or Ranch.  It works great for any of them.

Italian Spice Mix (like Good Seasons- 2 T. = 1 package)
2 T. (each) garlic powder, onion powder, parsley
4 T. oregano, salt
2 t. pepper, basil
1/2 t. thyme, celery salt
~Mix all together and store in a jar.

This mixture is yummy on chicken, as a meatloaf seasoning, in spaghetti, in pizza crust (with dough or the cauliflower one), on my Greek tacos, and more.

Italian Dressing
1/4 c. white vinegar
2/3 c. oil
2 T. water
2 T. Italian spice mix
~Shake all together in a jar.

Ranch Dressing
1 c. sour cream or yogurt (or mayo if you don't have those)
1 c. buttermilk or plain kefir
a bit of mayo (2-3 T.)
1 heaping teaspoon Italian spice mix
~Add all the ingredients to one of those ranch shakers (like Tupperware sells) or a jar with lid, and thin more if it's too thick.

It's best made the day before so that the flavors spread throughout, although we often make it right when we need it (as life these days goes!)  You can use more mayo than that if you want, but I've found if I don't use any mayo, then it gets all separated and yucky even if it's not gone bad.  You just want 2 c. in the end.  Adjust more or less spice mixture if you want.

Here's a link for a non-dairy homemade ranch that I've made also.  (You must let it sit 10 minutes as it says...ask me how I know!)  http://silk.com/recipes/ranch-dressing

Various thoughts and ideas of the day

1)  A baby year goes by much faster when it isn't spent dealing with crying and not sleeping.  Now that Celeste is 1, it seems like this year has pleasantly flown by.  It might have something to do with the 5-kids-now aspect too, but each day hasn't been spent dreading the night and walking the floors.  I think I walked the floors with her fussing a total of 2 times in her whole first year.  With the other kids it was at least 5/7 nights a week for months.  She still has only slept through the night twice (once being last week and the other was last night from midnight until 7 a.m.), so that's the next step.  She can climb onto chairs and tables now, and destroy anything she wants in a pretty short time period, so isn't left unattended for too long.   Thankfully there are 2 parents and 4 big kids keeping an eye on her so somebody's always watching (another blessing of lots of kids!)

2)  Sometimes you can have all sorts of plans and wishes and dreams and the answer comes to just keep on plugging away at the same old thing you're already doing again and again.  And that's okay, it's even quite a relief. Recently we've been exploring the option of selling our house and moving to a "better" place (that has a shop or room for one, that can accomodate my aunt when she sells her house in a few years, that isn't quite so hilly for gardening and animal purposes).  We prayed about a clear answer as for what we should do and started moving towards getting the process going.  We looked at a few houses (just drove by and looked in windows since they were empty) and also some property (would bare land be a cheaper option?) and then prayed and pondered about it.  During this time, Greg was having a rough day so had gone to town to have some quiet time and happened upon an all wheel drive lawn mower.  He didn't buy it, but wanted to, so came home to tell me about it.  Our hilly, bumpy, quack-grassy yard has been a huge headache ever since we moved here.  Last summer it even went 6 weeks without any mowing because we were too overwhelmed by it and we had a little baby that just got priority.  Always.  

After discussing this new mower idea, we headed over to the store and bought it.  It is amazing!  It just walks up and down all of our hills and Greg had the whole yard mowed in very little time.    When he got finished mowing, he says, "well, now I kind of want to just stay living here because this lawn is finally doable."  This is the 5th mower we've tried on the lawn, so it's not for lack of trying.  One small push mower that we wore right out did mediocre, a riding mower, a brush hog type, and a self-propelled one from my aunt after my uncle passed away.  All of them could not do near what we needed them to do, so Greg would end up weed whacking most of the yard.  Ugh.  This new mower just climbs over all the hills without hesitation.  

By this time we had crunched the numbers to see what would be the cheapest of all of the options.  Buying similar to ours but on flatter ground, buying bare land and building as we could afford, bare land with a used manufactured home or just staying where we are and cracking down on paying it off.  The last option won out by a long shot, so we're trying to get "gazelle intense" about it again.  It seems like such a good idea, but it's also very easy to lose motivation when the amount owed is quite large.  Having the resolve to just stay the course is needed and I know we'll be glad we did in the end.

3)  I love my husband for these types of things.  Common sense about money.  Exploring options and then wisely choosing the most sensible one (even if it isn't the most exciting or fun one).  Talking the ideas through instead of just jumping the gun and then regretting it (we did come up with some outlandish ideas of how to save money and still get the house we want/need).  For realizing and recognizing that we're never going to be high dollar people.  We are the slow and steady kind and likely always will be.  And we're okay with that.  

As we were driving down the free way the other day we were driving by a Tesla car.  We admired it as we cruised by in our 1992 station wagon and then Greg noticed that it was his boss's wife from his old job.  He then commented, "I'm so glad we don't live with the intensity that it takes to own a ($100,000) car like that.  It wears me out just thinking about the stress level that job had."  One of his old boss's favorite sayings was "stay with me and you'll retire rich."  But is the stress level worth that?  We can't see that it is.  On the other extreme is a neighbor we talked to recently.  He bragged about how he works for the railroad now and how well it pays and how little he has to work (and everyone else too) and how it's a "retirement job" because of the pension.  When we left I asked Greg, "Has he no pride?" and Greg said that he pitied the lack of manliness about him.  I'm so thankful for a manly husband who works hard for our family, but not so hard that he's manic about it in the pursuit of retiring rich.

4)  Raising girls.  They're complex.  I have no answers and feel like a failure most days in most areas.  Probably all things if I really sat down and thought about it.  Praying for some answers, or at least some confidence that I'm on the right track.  Or some books that might help.  There's lots of dad/daughter books out there, but I haven't found many mom/daughter ones.  The everyday stuff.  The special stuff. I just feel like I'm failing them in all points.  And now that I have 2 of them, I feel the burden even stronger than I did with just 1, although it's also gotten easier in that I can take them both to girl functions where before Elise never wanted to go alone with me anywhere ("I'll be bored with just you, Mom."  Uh, thanks.)

In a book I'm reading, a mom states how your heart will break seeing your daughter go through all the things that you went through yourself so the main need is to listen to their fears, hopes and dreams and share what you've learned along the way.  Then, when the time is right, prepare to let them go.  But, you'll always be their safe place.  I hope I can do that for my girls (and my boys, but that's a different story).

5)  Wrestling is going well.  3 weeks in and Luke and James are getting stronger and figuring it all out.  I love that they get a good workout (that I could never get them to do at home) and that they're learning new skills.  Luke is not athletic at all, so it's a challenge for him.  I'm not sure if he struggles because his body just doesn't know how to do the exercises, or that he's just lazily going through the motions because he prefers other pursuits (books, crafts/building things) or that he just gives up too easily.  Which ever way it is, he is enjoying it and will learn something, I'm sure.  James on the other hand is just taking off.  He spent the whole school wrestling season watching and learning and he's so excited to put it all into some action.  He may be small, but he makes up for it in determination and stamina.  When we head home, both boys are completely exhausted from the 2 1/2 hours of working out.  They do 1 hour of exercise and the rest of it is wrestling.  This extracurricular stuff is a new venture for us.  Hopefully we can keep it within our family set parameters as we go along (whole family time, not intruding on Bible Study or other church function time, etc.)

6) I can't believe I'm almost 40 years old and I've lived without a lazy Susan spice spinner all these years.  Both my mom and mother-in-law have them and though I've wanted one, it was never enough to actually remember to go and buy one.  I just kept my spices in little bins in the cupboard which worked, but not really well.  Recently I found one at a thrift store (double decker even) for $0.55 and couldn't pass it up.  It fits all of the needed spices and extracts and just smoothly spins as needed.  Yay!  I also bought a single layer one ($0.55 also) for one on the table (because the kids said that their friends have one and it is SUCH a great idea) but with a one year old who can now climb on chairs, it's not such a great idea for now.  Celeste climbs up on the chair, reaches over and gives it a big, fun spin which spews all the contents over the table and floor.  Salt, pepper, Tabasco and prayer jar/sticks everywhere.  Maybe in a year or two we'll bring it back out.  It's amazing all those little things that make your day go more smoothly.  Next up...coffee/tea cupboard organization needed.

Until next time...

Our laundry system

With all the constant revamping of everything else, laundry is one of those things that is still going well.  We typically tackle it every Thursday, so that if we hang dry stuff, then it is all dry by the weekend.  In the summer I like to use the clothes line (my quiet meditative time) and in winter we either use the dryer or a clothes drying rack by the wood stove, depending on the life situation of the day.  I'm not going to say this is the only way to do things, just what happens to work for us.  I know some people would rather throw a load in each day, and that's fine too.  I like to get it done on a consistent basis so then I don't have to worry about anyone running out of anything.  I also then know I only need 1 weeks worth of clothes for each person in our family.  (We of course have more, but that is the minimum)  So here's what we do:

1)  Bring all the hampers to the kitchen where we sort it.  Isaac (3) does this, and it's the perfect job for a sturdy little boy.  I use these empty baskets to put all of the to-wash clothes into once their ready to go.

2)  Elise (5) or Isaac (3) does the stain treating.  We just use diluted Dawn dish soap in water for stain treating, which is cheap and quite effective for getting greasy stuff out (and fairly safe for little kids to be spraying around).

3)  All kids socks go into a mesh laundry bag.  Our washer eats socks, so this keeps them contained and easier to find all around.

4)  Put on your kitty mask for even more effective and fun times.  Next, move the sorted/treated baskets into the hall lined up for washing.  That's our laundry hall you see back there.

5) Haul the empty hampers back to everybody's room.  I have 6 of those matching, stacking baskets that are awesome for all kinds of tasks.  The one in the picture was just used to clean out the van.  We then read books on the couch all morning and have our focused reading day between switching loads.

6)  After they're dry, dump the basket and everyone folds their own clothes and puts them away.  Isaac needs some help and motivation, but he tries.  I supervise and fold ours & Celeste's.  The kids do the towels/wash cloths.

There you have it.  I wash the kids all in one batch, then the dishcloths/towels/whites in one batch, then our clothes in one batch.  I have a huge washer so this is what works best.  Then if clothes don't get folded and put away, it's easy to find whatever you need if they are still in baskets.

My wise Aunt Susie (who has 7 children and many more grandchildren) told me that wherever she's been to help young moms, the biggest problem with laundry is that people have too many clothes which allows you to get too far behind.  I tend to agree.  Re-wearing clothes saves a ton of laundry.  Reusing towels (with our names on our own specific hook) saves a ton too.  

Buying used clothes is a benefit to laundry too.  You don't have to worry about colors bleeding because they've already been washed.  You don't have to worry about shrinkage, because if they are going to shrink they will have already done so.  You save money by buying them too, and if they get stained and are not salvageable, you can throw them out without guilt.  

How do you streamline your laundry?

Grocery Shopping Options

So, lately I've been trying to revamp our grocery situation.  This has been hard for me because (a) I don't have much extra brain power to accomplish such a task and (b) I've been doing the same thing for 9 years, and changing it is a bit daunting due to reason (a).  But, with 5 homeschooled kids (who are with me all day every day), it needed to be done.

For the past 9 years, I've gone to WinCo every 2 weeks with a list of 10 meals (1 for each weekday) and a list of all needed items.  I occasionally will go to other stores, but most times don't due to lack of energy and because we don't live in town where I can just run quickly to places.  This trip is exhausting, and with 5 kids, the cart gets fuller and fuller as the years go by.  The plus part is that my 3 oldest are now big enough to be a huge help, but the logistics of it all are quite daunting.  I've considered going every week, but then I'd miss another morning of schooling and in the afternoon I just don't have the energy.  All of our babies have hated the car seat, and even more so in the evening, so that hasn't been an option either.  I could go on the weekend, but just usually have other cleaning projects and home projects that need to be done then too.  Buying in bulk at places such as Costco are difficult too, since I have very limited storage for such items.

So, here's what options I've come up with and tried so far:

1)  Cash and Carry  This is a restaurant supply store with lots of bulk items which is right on Greg's way home from work.  He has offered to pick up stuff for me on his way home if needed, but I wanted to scope out their selection and prices first.  Here's what I found:

-store is small so not so tiring as a big one would be, parking lot is also small (+++)

-bathrooms are easily accessible (found that out on the first trip!) (+++)

-flatbed carts are a bit difficult to maneuver (put baby in stroller and big girl pushed her) (-)

-the workers box up your groceries AND deliver them into your car (big +++)

-some products are in too large of packaging and would be wasted as we can't use them fast enough 

-some prices are better, some comparable, some worse- all in all good

-not much for organic selection (-)

Yes, we will be using this option again in the future.  The neat thing about this is that ever since Greg became the treasurer of our church's Western Mission board, he got a new P.O. box in Kalama.  He randomly has been receiving Cash & Carry's flyer each week and so I've been reading it for a few months now.  The flyer is meant for the people who used to have that same P.O. box, but we've been getting it.  I don't believe this is an accident, and it's been priming me to pursue this option.

2) Walmart.com  It was suggested to me to pursue buying non-perishables online and this seemed to be the best option.  Free shipping over $50 to your home, and no limits.  I ended up spending about an hour online searching for the items (since it was my first time) and buying about 30 things that were on my list.  Here's what I found:

-to get free shipping you have to use the 9-14 day delivery option, so you must order enough in advance to get the items.  I ordered on Wednesday and we did get one big box today (4 days), so that made me pretty happy. (picture of box below)

-once I've ordered once, it'll be much quicker the next time (since I don't have to scroll items, just click and order).  Not sure if I can save lists or not, but it would be cool if I can.

-prices are comparable to WinCo (my best price option), but note that some things you must order in bulk (tuna in a 4 can pack for instance)

Yes, will be doing this again in the future.

3) Amazon Prime Pantry  We do not have Amazon Prime, so I was not able to try this (although I may if I use my free trial someday).  You pay $5.99 for a 4' cubic feet box of stuff from their options.  There is a lot of selection, but to me their prices were extremely varied.  Some pretty normal, some exorbitant.  Since Walmart delivered a much bigger box for free, I think I'll stick with them.  This is a nice option though.  Also, some things can be ordered from just plain old Amazon, but most pantry type items are now in the Pantry.

4) Azure Standard  This is a bulk foods/products privately owned company that delivers items once a month on a truck.  I've been interested in them before, but have never ordered.  I'm waiting for their catalog right now, and if it works out, I plan to order their bulk organic produce each month in the winter.  Things like apples, potatoes, carrots and other more hardy veggies and fruit.  We have an occasional drop point right here in Kalama (must have $500 to have a drop point), so if I can't pick up in Kalama, then there is one in Kelso too.  They have a ton of items available, and some prices are better, some are worse than other places.  Have any of you ordered produce from them?

5) Sam's Club Click 'n' Pull  We don't have a Sam's Club near us, but this is a great option if you do.  Order your items online before 5 p.m. the night before and they'll have your cart full and waiting for you the morning to check out.

6) Costco Many people use this option, but ours is over an hour away and we just haven't in the past.  We have had a membership in the past and then not used it once in the whole year we had it.  But, if you live near one, it's a great option too.  It's a big store, so isn't helpful if your energy is limited.

7) WinCo  This is where the rest of the groceries come from.  Great prices and I just love that store.  They even have kefir, grassfed butter (KerryGold), gluten-free options now.

8) Country Village Any specialty foods can usually be found here for a reasonable price.  They have sales all the time, so often if you wait/plan in advance you can get it for a great deal.  They are super knowledgeable and have helped me with many healthy alternatives and supplements.  Just love that store!  Did you read about Patty, one of their great cashiers?

Also, a lovely lady from our church who recently retired has offered to help me shop too.  Either to come with me or to watch kids while I shop.  I am certainly going to take her up on that offer!  My friend Jessica L. said that when her daughter was a baby, she and another older lady from church would grocery shop together.  Jessica would drive and the lady would help take care of the baby (and teach Jessica how to budget).  This is a great mentoring option, so if there is someone in your community/church that could help you (and you drive/pay for gas), this is a win/win situation.

We buy 1/2 of a grass-fed beef every year, and last year we also raised our own meat chickens, so that has been nice and healthy.  I also buy raw goats milk from a local farm which I freeze so that I only have to buy it every 3 weeks on our trips to the library in the next town.  I also buy our bread at the Franz Outlet on Saturdays when their organic bread is $1/loaf.  If I have freezer space, then I stock up.

So, that's what I've found out so far.  What do you do to save time/energy/money?  Anything I can add here or other options to pursue?