To sleep or not to sleep...that is the question

While I've been pondering the future with baby #5, I'm again refreshed (in not such a good way) of how little our babies have slept, and trying to remember what we did about it.  I'm the least worthy to write on this subject since we've not been very successful, but I do admit we've learned a few things along the way.  I have utmost sympathy for parents of bad sleepers, since we've had 4 so far. (2 of our kids woke up at least 15 times each night until they were about 1, and I recall spending 8+ hours out of a day getting a baby to sleep over and over as she'd wake up every 15 minutes still tired and crabby)  I know the pains of not getting much sleep!  But, I offer hope too, as now all of our bigger kids are great sleepers, and those days do end.  And, you can live on alot less sleep than you think you can. 

I'm just going to list some of the things we've done and why we've done them.  Not that it'll be the best for someone else's family, but these have worked for us.

Worked:

-Co-sleep until at least age 1.  I do put the crib/bassinet by our bed and start moving them into it gradually so it's not such a big adjustment when it's time for them to move into it full time.  This gives me a better sleep also if they sleep a bit further away for at least part of the night.

-No crying it out.  My kids always swallow air while they're crying, which causes more crying and it is just a vicious cycle that never ends.  (Our oldest also whacked his nose on the crib while crying it out and caused a nosebleed that bled everywhere.  Not worth the potential benefits.) 

-For naps I rock them to sleep.  I nurse them first and then rock them until they're asleep and then lay them down.  Sounds cushy, but there's no crying and they go to sleep.  When I lay them down I pat their back/bottom until they're soundly asleep.  It also works to lay with them on a bed and pat them on the back/bottom too until they're asleep.  It also may mean laying with them through their whole nap until they get used to napping properly.  Plan for that and bring a book.  Or shut your eyes too. 

-White noise.  Lots of it.  Loud.  Use the vacuum if necessary.

-Let them sleep on their stomach if it helps.  They seem to sleep deeper and longer this way.  My kids are such light sleepers that I'm really not too concerned about SIDS.  Their burps come up easier also if they're on their stomach (this is for older babies that can lift their head on their own, of course).

-Dark room.  Goes without saying, but sometimes easy to forget.

-Get all burps up before nap (which has been absolutely necessary with our babies).  Otherwise they wake up from a burp after 10 minutes and think they're "well rested".  Keep baby as vertical as you can to facilitate this (a baby carrier is awesome).

-Make baby sleeping your top priority.  Dishes will wait, laundry can wait, older kids must learn to be quiet at nap time.  Must!  (My rule is that whoever wakes the baby must put the baby back to sleep.  It only takes 1 time to teach this lesson to a loud preschooler!) 

-Prayer.  I used to pray (endlessly) for more sleep and then would get discouraged when I wouldn't get what I thought I should, day after day.  A friend (who struggles with insomnia) suggested praying for "enough sleep to do what God wants me to do for that day".  Changing my prayer perspective helped immensely (and not tallying my lack of sleep).  I'll be in debt for the rest of my life anyhow, so why even keep track of it?  It only discourages me more.

Didn't work: 

-Laying them down while drowsy (they just wake right back up and scream).

-Crying for any reason.  Reasons mentioned above.  Once they're big (1-2ish) they will fuss more at bedtime, but I don't allow any endless crying.

-Any Babywise or other such methods.  Tried them, and they just didn't work for us.

For Mom

-Our Naturopath was telling us that a baby only has the coping abilities he/she is given by the nutrients given from Mama's milk.  A Mom lacking in B vitamins is going to have a baby who can't cope as well in any given circumstance because the baby is then also lacking in B vitamins (teething, sickness).  Upping B vitamins is beneficial all around.  I like NutriCalm as it's full of B's and also has some relaxing herbs to sooth a frazzled mother's nerves (take in the morning for best effect).

-Calcium/magnesium.  This can really help everybody be more settled.  Most of us know about the importance of calcium, but are more vague about magnesium.  I find this very calming and helps me handle stress better, sleep better and helps baby be more calm as well.  Natural Calm is one I like.  This one has calcium in it too.  Take it in the evening after supper so it has time to work before bedtime.  Magnesium is also great for keeping digestion moving along, which can get stopped up during pregnancy.  An epsom salts bath is another good idea for getting magnesium in.  Magnesium is also great for teeth and teething, so taking extra will help both mom and baby's teeth be stronger and healthier.

For babies and Mom

-Probiotics.  These help immensely with digestion and looking back, our fussiest babies had the worst digestion.  I wish I'd known to supplement to help them feel better.  Alot of their lack of sleep was from tummy aches, which they were too little to be able to tell me.  I used gripe water and gas drops (we went through bottles of it!) but didn't specifically use probiotics until later.  We also were doing lots of diet modifications too, which helped but didn't solve the puzzle.  Since then I've tried to diligently eat more myself so that baby gets more too.  We now drink water and milk kefir every day (at least I do) for the benefits.

The two books which were most helpful have been:

The No-Cry Sleep Solution

The Happiest Baby on the Block (more for newborns, but also information for older babies)

I'm sure I'll think of more stuff, but that comes to mind right now.

Isaac and the Mickey Mouse piggy bank

I don't know about you, but I happen to think that 2 year olds are just the cutest ever.  They are just learning to talk and communicate effectively, and I just love their curiosity and observations on the world around them.  This little guy is no exception.  He has us chuckling all day long.  Terrible twos, what are those?

For some reason, he's taken to Mickey Mouse.  We got a book from a thrift store with him in it, and ever since then, Isaac has been in love.  He calls him Mi-Mow.  We then found out that Isaac also did not own a piggy bank to store his hard earned money in, so I suggested that we start looking for one for him.  He put two and two together and thought a Mickey Mouse piggy bank would be the perfect solution to his problems.

Due to pregnancy, snowstorms and new babies, our shopping time has been nil.  Every time someone would mention going to town, Isaac would remind them to "buy Mi-Mow-pi-ba"  (buy Mickey Mouse piggy bank).  Or that he'd be fine with getting one for his birthday too (in September).  Many times each day he'd remind us about his needs in his cute and loving way.  

We had looked online for banks, but hadn't found one that met the need.  Greg's Mom talked about how her kids used to have them and how neat it'd be if we could find one like that.  This went on for a few weeks.  Then, the other night, Greg says to me, "Where is that Mickey Mouse piggy bank from when I was a kid?"  I really had never seen the thing, but told him that if we did own such a item, it would be in his keepsake box in storage.  He pulled it out and low and behold...the much talked about Mickey Mouse piggy bank from his childhood.  Isaac was ecstatic!  He couldn't quit showing us, all the while telling us who and what it was.  Just too cute!  He's been a happy boy since, playing with it each day, and putting any money in it whenever he can!

Celeste's birth story 2/14/2014

Baby Celeste Marjorie was born slightly after midnight on Feb. 14.  Her name means "heavenly, celestial" and is referred to in 1 Corinthians 15:40 "There are also celestial bodies, and bodies terrestrial: but the glory of the celestial is one, and the glory of the terrestrial is another."  Marjorie is my paternal Grandma's name, and fits with our tradition of "M" as the middle initial for our girls (same as me).  Our boys all have "W" as theirs, which is the same as Greg's.  Marjorie means "pearl", which is beautiful too (in my opinion, of course).

Anyhow,  the day of Feb. 13, I somehow knew that was baby's day.  In the morning at breakfast I told the kids, "Well, today looks like a good day to have a baby."  They agreed.  We then all went to the library to get our stack of ordered books and movies (which had been waiting for us through our big snowstorm and that was the last day of holding them for us).  We dropped Grandma Somero off at Walmart, went to the library and then while waiting in line there, I had this "I've got to get home" urge.  I didn't know if it was that I was still weak from being sick the two previous days or what, but I figured I had better listen.  We had talked about getting a coffee from Red Leaf on our way out of town, and so I stopped there and nothing on the menu looked good.  That had NEVER happened before!  So, I got a coffee for Grandma and a smoothie for the kids to share and we went back to pick up Grandma from Walmart.  We got home, had lunch and then I laid down for a nap.  Except I didn't nap.  Baby was kicking me so furiously that there was no way to sleep, but I did rest.  About 4 p.m. I knew something was happening, but still no active signs of labor.  I thought perhaps I should call Greg to get off work early (he's never got called home for any of our babies, and wishes he would for once) but didn't, since things were still pretty slow.

When he got home at normal time (5-ish), we had supper (I had no appetite, but knew I should eat) and then we laid out a plan since it looked like baby was coming that night.  I was dreading the inevitable so had trouble knowing what to think/do.  Grandma suggested taking all of the kids into her bedroom and having a movie night with them and then Greg could just put them in their own beds once they fell asleep.  Then nobody had to go anywhere and the house would be quiet and the kids contained.  Plus, we had just got that whole new stack of movies from the library that needed watching!  It was then that the contractions did start.  They were pretty slow, but turned steady at about 7 p.m.  They remained consistent at 10 minutes apart, so we called the midwife (she wanted them consistent before she came).  We later found out why they were far apart.

The midwife (Laura) got to our house about 8 p.m., and then checked me.  Only 3 cm.  That was kind of discouraging.  I was hoping we were further along than that but, oh well, what can you do?  After that I rested for a while and then started walking through the house again.  Laura had been up the whole night before with a challenging birth, so we told her to nap while we just waited for things to progress.  Greg got a bit of a nap too, since he was tired from a long week.  I just walked and focused on getting through the contractions.  The house was quiet and dark, and very peaceful.  By 10 p.m. the contractions were getting quite a bit stronger, but still remained at 10 minutes apart.  I could feel progress happening, but didn't want to get my hopes up in case it was slower than I had hoped.  

By 11 p.m. the pains were pretty intense so I got into the bath, which helped immensely.  I didn't want to get in too early, but instead use it as my last resort for the pain.  I was in there for an hour with the pains getting incrementally stronger.  Greg was pouring water over me when I would have a contraction and that would help diffuse the pain a bit.  Finally I asked him to go and wake up Laura so she could check and see where we were at.  He did, and she came back and was going to check how dilated I was (and break my water if I was at 7-8 or more) on my next contraction.  When that happened, the water broke and she said, "Oh, the baby is right there.  Push her out!"  So, in that same contraction I pushed and baby came out.  And then a second push to get her body out.  Done.  Whew!  So relieved that I just held Celeste and cried for the longest time.  Then we checked the clock to see if she had been born before or after midnight, to see if she was a Valentine's baby or not.   It was 12:15 a.m.

I couldn't believe we were actually done.  This Bible verse has given me alot of comfort with all of our babies.  I dread the process, but when it's done, the joy is unspeakable and the pain is gone.  Not just less, but gone!   John 16:²¹  "A woman when she is in travail hath sorrow, because her hour is come: but as soon as she is delivered of the child, she remembereth no more the anguish, for joy that a man is born into the world."

Laura then was telling us how God orchestrates each birth so uniquely and that the reason my contractions were so far apart was because of the knot in her cord.  Because of the knot, the longer rest between contractions gave her body time to recover without going into distress.  She told us that many times a birth doesn't make sense when she's in it, but then when it's all over, the pieces come together.  It's best to just let the process unfold in the perfect way that God wants it to, to His honor and glory.  She calls babies with a knot in their cord "angel babies" since at any time during pregnancy or birth that cord could be pulled tight and the baby not survive. 

We then took care of the rest of the details and then settled into bed for a few hours of rest before morning.  The midwife left at about 2 a.m. (on her way to go grocery shopping, as is her tradition) and we (Greg, myself and Grandma Sue) tried to sleep and marveled over the events of the night.  The kids awoke to a great surprise, which was quite fun for them. 

All in all, a beautiful experience.  And now our sweet baby Celeste is finally here!  It seems like it takes forever waiting on the other end of things, but is so nice when it's all said and done.

photo by Aunt Julie Crites

The weeks prior to her birth were rather chaotic, I must say.  Grandma Sue came early as things were kind of crazy.  The kids each got sick one by one.  Then Grandma got sick.  Then our washer broke (the drain pump quit, leaving a washer full of half washed clothes).  Then we got 8" of snow and the roads were horrible.  Then I got sick to finish it off.  Thankfully mine was more of a head/sinus cold rather than the flu/fever that the rest of them had.  Then our washer part finally arrived so Greg could fix it.  Then Greg got all done with his pressing jobs at work (his boss wasn't too happy to let him have time off if that certain job wasn't finished, although he would have done it).  Then the snow melted.  And Grandma got better.  And then Celeste was born.  Things just fell into place in their perfect time, but before the birth we couldn't see how they could.  God's hand was over all and we are so thankful for that!

Good green veggies

A few years ago (January 2011) I wrote a blog goal of trying to get our family to eat more veggies.  Not only more quantity, but also more variety.  That's been 3 years now.  The other night I realized that we're doing well.  Maybe not in quantity all the time, but our variety has been expanded.

Back then I started experimenting with cooking styles, realizing that alot of my vegetable aversions were due to them being bland and boring.  My aunt introduced me to roasting, and that has been my new go-to method.  Another friend introduced me to fish sauce (which doesn't taste at all fishy but adds that wonderful umami flavor that makes the most boring veggies amazing).  And we've bought veggies that we never thought we would!  

The other night at supper while we sat there at dinner eating some roasted kale, parsnips and fennel bulb, I realized that my goal has been accomplished.  3 long years later!  Oh, well.  Better now than never, hey?

Here's a few of our favorite ways to eat our "new-to-us" veggies.

Beets- roasted in a pan with the lid on.  I peel them first, but you can also peel them after they're cooked.  Just put in a oven proof pan with a lid for about an hour at 350-400*F.  Done.  The smaller you cut them, the quicker they bake (of course!)

Parsnips- peel, slice into fries, and then roasted on a cookie sheet with a drizzle of oil or butter at 350-400 for about 40 min.  These are tasty but fibrous (like a carrot), so I cut them up small for the kiddos.   This is Greg's new favorite veggie.

Cabbage- cut into a wedge and then slice smaller if desired.  Drizzle with oil or butter, and salt, pepper and garlic powder.  Or drizzle with fish sauce.  Stir occasionally.

Fennel bulb- roast whole bulb with some oil, salt and pepper drizzled over.  About 40 min at 350 too.

Kale- drizzle leaves (broken into bite size pieces) with oil and soy sauce and let them dry out.  I do these on a cookie sheet (mine is stoneware) on our wood stove and they're oh-so-yummy.

Yams- these aren't new to us, but are one of our favorites for roasting.  I peel them and cut them into fries, drizzle them with oil/butter and then sprinkle with cinnamon.  I then bake them on my stoneware cookie sheet until soft.  Usually 40 min at 350.  Stir/flip occasionally.  These are the kids favorite.

You can also easily roast any vegetable and the flavor is amazing.  Baby carrots can be easily dumped on a pan and roasted just like the yams.  Frozen green beans are another easy, go-to for roasting.  Just add some butter, minced garlic, salt & pepper and put in the oven for 1/2 hour or so, stirring occasionally.  Or my other favorite recipe (is in the Kurtti cookbook page 51) is this:

Autumn Succotash

1- 2 lb. butternut squash, peeled, seeded and cut into 1" pieces

2 T. butter

2 T. oil

4 cloves garlic

2 red peppers, seed and coarsely chopped

1 large onion, coarsely chopped

1 c. peas, thawed if frozen

1 c. corn, thawed if frozen

1 T. fresh sage (optional, still good without it)

salt and pepper to taste

Heat oven to 450*F.  Place squash, peppers and onions in a 9x13 pan.  Drizzle with butter and oil.  Roast until squash is tender, 25-30 minutes.  Remove from oven, stir in peas and corn, sage, salt and pepper.  Put back in oven to warm through at 250*F for about 5 minutes.  Enjoy!

You'll notice that all of the vegetables are roasted in oil/butter.  Saturated fats help you get your minerals and vitamins out of the vegetables, so be liberal with your butter.  Here's a an article that explains it more thoroughly.  Have some Butter with your Veggies. 

You might also wonder if there's any veggies that we've tried that we haven't liked.  Yes, there is.  We haven't been able to find a way to tolerably eat radishes (us adults like them, but the kids aren't so fond), daikon (another super-healthy kind of radish), most squash (we eat it occasionally, but it's just not our favorite), spinach (we eat it in salad in the summer and spinach dip, but just haven't been able to get alot into us in any other form).  I still have 2/4 kids who are mushroom haters, but I have found a recipe for homemade mushroom soup that everyone likes (if I chop them into miniscule pieces).

Do you have any favorite veggies or recipes you'd like to share?