Parents Praises

My parents were here last weekend, and I was reminded again what a blessing it is to have had a Godly example. Life is hard enough, that guidance is so necessary. Thinking back, I can recall a few quotes that they said over the years, that have stuck with me. I'll post them for you, that they may benefit you as well.

Dad: “Never lower your standards for anyone” He meant this in terms of values, and I learned rather quickly after leaving home that every time I did, I lost respect for myself, and the people around me also did. It can be used in the context of remaining pure, compromising morals, or shady business tactics. Whatever the case, I’ve found this statement very important in many life situations. He also taught us that we were not only valuable to him and Mom, but more so to Jesus Christ. When we realize we’ve been bought with the price of Jesus’ dying on the cross for us, that can also make us think twice about making a foolish decision.

Dad: “I raise my kids to be leaders, not followers. I want them to set the trends, not follow them.” I especially remember this when we wanted a new piece of fashionable clothing or the “toy of the year”. I don’t recall any of us kids being leaders when we were young, but as adults, none of us are afraid to stand up for truth, be different in idea or lifestyle; each being led by the Lord above all trends or traditions. My Dad also has never wavered to what is the latest, and has often been criticized for that. But, it's also what has made him the man he is. Listening to God and the Bible rather than the fickleness of men.

Dad: “Give it 20 years” Whenever asked why he was doing what he was doing, he looked long term. What will the results be in 20 years? Will a shortcut now, be paid for in the long run? Will saving me time/energy now reap the rewards I want? This helps me today make decisions for my children.

Mom: “Be friends with people who need you, and don’t worry so much about those who don’t” As people, we always want to fit in. When you’re a child, that means fitting in with the popular people. And usually the popular people aren’t the best friends. They aren’t loyal, they usually don’t need friendship and are often more likely to ditch you if a better friend comes along. Friends who need you (and you need them) stick together. You stick up for each other, and you stand by each other. I learned this lesson in 5th grade when we had to pick groups for our camping field trip. We each had to pick who was to sleep in what tent. My 2 friends and I had our tent situation picked out, and were going to have a great time. A new “geeky” girl in the class named Samantha didn’t have a tent group, so my Mom made me ask her to come with us. How humiliating. I was utterly embarrassed until the actual camping trip when it started pouring rain and everyone was soaking wet in their tents all evening, and my group was warm and dry in Samantha’s grandma’s (who came as a chaperone) camper drinking hot chocolate and eating smores cooked over her stove. That was a lesson to me. You never know when being kind will pay you back, so you always should do the right thing even if you don’t want to. It may never pay you back either, but the Bible tells us to “for as much as ye have done it unto the least of them, ye have done it unto Me.”

Mom: “Remember, Jesus is with you wherever you go.” This was a comfort when I inadvertently got myself into predicaments that I didn’t know how to get out of. It was also a conscience pricker when I willfully defied what I knew was wrong. Either way, it’s a good reminder for us all to remember.

Dad: "Daylight in the swamp". Not sure the meaning of that, but he used it every morning to wake us up. His Dad said it too apparently, as I recall my uncles using it when we had sleepovers. ;)

House Rules

I happened upon the Duggar Family website (you know, the ones with 18 kids) because I'm up late with wide awake baby, and they listed their house guidelines. I thought that they were worth sharing. They also have a "character traits" pdf that I saved too, which I'll be working on with the boys. So, hopefully they can be uplifting for you, as they were for me.

1. Always use soft words, even when you don’t feel well.
2. Always display kind actions and joyful attitudes, even if you have been mistreated. Have the right response by quickly forgiving others in your heart even before they ask.
3. Always be enthusiastic and look for opportunities to praise others' character.
4. Always deflect praise and be grateful to God and others for the ways they have benefited your life.
5. Always use manners and be respectful of others and their belongings.
6. Always do what is right, even when others may not, or when no one is looking.
7. Thank God for how He made you, for what He has given you and everything He allows you to go through. (Romans 8:28)
8. Don’t mock or put others down. Develop compassion and pray for others.
9. Never argue, complain, or blame. Quickly admit when you have done wrong and ask for forgiveness (even if you were only 10% at fault). Don't wait till you’re caught. Be sure your sins will find you out. He who covers his sin will not prosper, but he that confesses and forsakes it shall find mercy.
10. Have a tough accountability/prayer partner to daily share your heart with and to keep you in line (your parents, spouse). The power of sin is in secrecy.
11. Be attentive and look for ways to serve others with sincere motives and no thought of self-gain.
12. Think pure thoughts (Philippians 4:8, Romans 13:14).
13. Always give a good report of others. Don't gossip! Never tale-bear unless physical harm will come to someone. (Use Matthew 18.)
14. Never raise a hand to hit.
15. Never raise a foot to kick.
16. Never raise an object to throw.
17. Never raise a voice to yell.
18. Never raise an eye to scowl.
19. Use one toy/activity at a time. Share!
20. Do your best to keep your surroundings neat, clean and organized.
21. Never let the sun go down on your wrath. (Don’t go to bed angry or guilty)
22. Amendment J.O.Y. -
    Put Jesus first, Others second, Yourself last.

Academics

Yesterday whilst the kids were playing I put together some lists. To do lists for the fall, the "spend money priority" list, the "who we haven't had over in a while and need to", the job lists, and lastly the "homeschool list". I had them pretty much done, and finally asked L what he wanted to learn this next year to add to my list. His list was this:
1) learn to make toast
2) learn to make salad
3) learn to tie shoes
4) learn "to say Staudinger 'cause it's a really hard word!"

I think we can handle that. He wasn't sure what to think when I told him that used to be my name and I had to say it and spell it very frequently.

Potty Training 101

Potty Gear- favorite beverages (lots of them), potty, large jar of Jelly Belly's, smiling boy

Since many of my acquaintances are in this same stage of life as I, and are frustrated with the "trying to convince the toddler" to become trained, I have hope. My cousin used this method on her kids and introduced it to me, and I've used this method with both my boys, and potty training has been a cinch. Well, it's intense for about 4 hours, and then a breeze. The book was first published in 1974, so many of us were likely trained this way, and although the lingo and pictures are a bit outdated, it really works. ("Toilet Training in Less than a Day" by Nathan Azrin and Richard Foxx) I'm going to run over the highlights so you can see if this is something that would interest you, but I would recommend reading (or at least skimming) the book in case your child isn't textbook and you need some troubleshooting ideas.

Equipment: Doll that wets (we used Curious George since my boys don't know about dolls too much) and I just poured water sneakily into the potty when the time came, lots of training underwear, lots of enticing flavorful drinks (at least 3 kinds), snacks (chips, jelly beans, etc), cloths to wipe up "in case", they also add to have a "friends who care" list (Daddy, Grandma, etc), reminder list (to see when you last did a "dry pants check") if you want, paper for wiping if necessary.

Time: When your child is alert and happy, early morning after breakfast is likely best. Also prep your child in advance "On Saturday we're going to learn how to go potty", reminding them of this often in a cheerful tone.

Other tips: Have other kids, parents, distractions out of the house.
Physical readiness: can your child- point to instructed body parts? over 20 months? stay dry several hours?
Have them help pull pants up and down, watch others go potty, get familiar with the lingo.
If you've had unsuccessful trials in the past, maybe let the other parent try this time.

1) Teach the doll/animal how to potty by giving doll a drink, and then set the doll on the potty. When the doll pees, show your satisfaction by giving a treat. Since the doll can't take the treat, give it to child instead. (Keep giving your child drinks during this time so they'll be ready to go by the time it's their turn) The book teaches to teach the child to empty the potty themselves, but I've found that to be a disaster, no matter how careful they try to be. Pull up dolly's pants, and then check them if they are wet or dry. Keep doing this a few times so the child understands the procedure, and then after that, wet the doll's pants before they get on the potty. Explain that they are wet, and how disappointing this is. Dolly must learn to keep them dry. Have your child show what the doll should have done instead. (get to potty quickly) and then have the child practice showing what the doll should do. Then change the doll into dry underwear. During this time the child learns how important it is to stay dry, the difference between wet and dry, and what happens if you are wet, and the procedure to get to the potty. (Usually takes 1/2 to 1 hour) In this time also, keep them drinking alot varying the drinks if they not interested. Check your childs pants also periodically too, and praise them for having dry pants (have them feel it too, so they know wet from dry) Give child a treat for each dry pants check. Give lots of praise for dry pants and peeing, verbal disappointment for any wet pants. In between always be talking about how important it is is to be dry, and how disappointing to be wet (that's the tiring part).

2) Dress your child in just underwear (loose fitting) and have them practice raising and lowering pants whenever possible. Teach them how to do this themselves (it's okay if they can't because you'll still be there to help them, even once they've learned) Have the child walk to potty, pull pants down, sit quietly for a couple minutes, get up, pull pants up. Eventually (as the drinks keep coming) the child will pee during one of these sessions without even knowing it. As soon as they do, make a big deal out of it, give a treat. Do these sessions about every 10-15 minutes. In between talk about the importance of being dry, how much they'll be like "so and so" because they are a big kid that goes potty, and do dry pants checks every 5 minutes or so. This is where it gets tiring, but keep on... If you see indications that they have to pee, put them on the potty earlier.

The book goes into more detail, which I won't list here, but after they do this successfully a few times, you can relax a bit (you're about 3-4 hours into it by now). Do dry pants checks every 15 minutes then, but if they are wet (keep an eye on them, so you can stop them as soon as they try to wet them rather than waiting until there is puddle on the floor), show your verbal disapproval and then have them repeat the proper procedure 10 times from different areas in the house, without letting them finish peeing any time in there. Then show them their wet pants and make them change into dry. At this point, both parent and child are likely exhausted, but the work is pretty much done.

Keep the child in sight the rest of the day (and days ahead until you're confident they know what they're doing) so you can remind them to get to the potty if they start to wet their pants. As soon as I've relaxed and let my kids out of sight, I forget that they're training, and accidents happen. They poop easier this way too because they are going to the bathroom anyways with all the drinks they are getting and the poop just happens (juice has that effect). Keep them full of enticing drinks the whole next week so that they get lots of practice and figure it out. I still diaper them at night , but haven't hardly had to. L was fully trained in 3 days, and J in less than a week (at age 2 1/2). Although this method is more intense at one time, I like it because it's better than weeks/months/years of it. Also, it gets them motivated, instead of waiting forever until they feel like it (would you want the hassle of stopping playing to go to the bathroom at that age, not likely). My motivation was the price of diapers (a case is worth a nice date for me and my sweetie), so maybe you can find something enjoyable that will motivate you.

If you want the book, I found mine on half.com for 0.75 plus shipping. Or I've seen it at Borders too for about $6.

Old Pictures

I'm not sure how old I was in these ones, but I'm the "little sister".


My first Christmas (10 days old) Love that 70's decor!

Food for Thought

In a continual attempt to spend less on groceries, while at the same time providing nutritious good tasting meals for my family, and also spending a minimum time in the kitchen; I have a "keeper" to share. It's meat free (which I'm experimenting with too), but hearty enough that you can't tell.

Black Beans & Rice
2 cans black beans or equivalent
20 oz frozen corn
2 c. rice
32 oz. salsa
3 c. tomato juice
1/2 t. cumin
1/2 t. oregano
Combine all in 9x13 pan, bake at 350 for 1 hour. Add cheese to top the last 15 minutes. Serve with extra salsa, sour cream and tortilla chips if desired.

I've tried it a couple times, and varied a few things in it. I found just so you have enough liquid for the rice to absorb, you're fine. Added extra veggies (peppers, onions), used canned diced tomatoes in place of salsa, etc. You could also likely do it in a slow cooker on low for about 4 hours, just enough time to cook the rice. This makes enough for our family for about 3 meals.

Dave Ramsey says the best way to save money is "rice and beans, beans and rice" so this fits that category. He also adds that if you're trying to get out of debt the only time you should see the inside of a restaurant is if you're working there as your second job. I like that, although we do enjoy eating out now and then.

I've also been wondering what other people cook, so maybe all you readers can post/comment what you cook every day next week. It'll help us each get new ideas, when our idea tanks have run dry! And sharing the recipe (if there is one) is great too!
I'll try to do it in the next post.

Living with Boys

Yesterday I spent sewing again. I've been looking for a new baby carrier, and since all the ones I liked were all too much money, I decided to make one myself. It turned out great, so now I'll just have to see if it makes my neck hurt after wearing all day. Since E doesn't sleep much, I need to carry her if I'm to get anything done in a day. The Ergo is my favorite carrier, but I haven't found one for a price that I like yet, and am borrowing one from my chiropractor right now.

Because of this, I've had the sewing machine out the past couple days, and about 1/2 hour after I put it away (and had finished my big mending stack), L jumped off his dresser, catching the back of his pants on the way. He comes out to the living room after Greg had unhooked him (hanging there) and proudly tells me, "these are work pants now". Yes son, they are. Good thing I only paid $0.25 at a garage sale for them.

Diaper Diaries

It seems like there should be a TV show with that name, or maybe there is. Sounds familiar and like I didn't think it up myself. Or maybe it's just that the first three letters are the same in both words. Who knows...

In my typical day, I spend much of my time changing these silly diapers. Besides the mess inside them, it's not such a bad job (I compare it to changing them on old people which I've done my fair share of). Unless they leak...or baby is hungry...or it's the middle of the night and I'd rather be sleeping. But any way you look at it, it's got to be done in this stage of life. My Grandma K (who was great at math and loved figuring things out) claimed that in diapering her 10 kids, if she lined the diapers up end to end, she'd have a line 50 miles long. Hmm. That would make me probably at 15 miles by now, or at least it seems so. Thinking of this gave me great motivation (as well as the exorbitant cost of disposables) to potty train J. He's definitely old enough, so getting him motivated and teaching him came next. Conveniently our life so has it that we aquired a "new" truck (as seen in previous post), and I used this as my motivation. J has quite badly wanted to be a big boy and go get firewood with Daddy, but because our old truck only had one seat, only L could go along. I told J that when he went potty like a big kid, then he could go get firewood with Daddy. (extra motivation is that the firewood comes from a friends house where the boys love to go so they can play together)

I then got my "Toilet Training in One Day" book out to refresh myself, and we got going. One thing about that book is that it is very intense. I felt like I had been a used car salesman by the time the morning was over; trying to "sell" going potty. But...it does work, and we've got a pretty much trained kid in just a few days. No more diapers for one more kid, except at night, although he's been dry every morning this week. The sad thing for J is that he didn't get to go with Daddy to get wood though because he slept in last Saturday. But he did get Mom pretty much to himself since E slept in too, even later. There'll be more wood to get though and he's anxious to go in the "grgrggrnn trck" (as he calls it, no vowels included).

This leads me to the next stage of this story, thrilling as I'm sure it is to you. Because J no longer needs his diapers (cloth ones I'm talking about), I've started using them on E. First let me tell you, that they are my posh, top notch cloth diapers (Fuzzibunz) that I waited a long time to get, since they have an exorbident price tag too. I finally found some for a steal on craigslist, and they are awesome! So...I start using them on E, and have this conundrum every time I put one on her. Do I snap on the first snap or the second? The first seems too loose, the second too tight. But, I've tried both, they both work fine, but still after a week I still wonder each time which will be a better choice. On J only the first one fit, but now that I have options, I don't know what to do. It's been a week now, and the decision is just as difficult. So I'm hoping that maybe she'll grow just a bit, so I won't have to make this tough choice so many times a day.


That's all I have for today...goodnight.

Oldest Daughters

In my life experiences, I have many friends who are the oldest child in the family. And in our age group, I've noticed that many of those oldest daughters especially, have issues with their parents. I've been observing, and also trying to figure it out, since I hear many complaints that so-and-so's parents did this wrong, and that wrong, and forced some idea or another on them as a child. It troubles me, because now as a parent myself, I would hate it if my child came back to me as an adult with such accusations and am appalled that a child from a loving home would think those things of their parents who tried their best. My mom always says, "we made the best decisions we could with the information we had available". I think that is very true then, and today. How do we think we are going to get any better results? Are we somehow wiser than they were? (I think not)

Also, I can't imagine blaming my parents for my life today (good, bad or otherwise). We all make choices in life, and reap the consequences, and blaming someone else is just avoiding dealing with yourself. (something politicians are really good at) There are people with perfectly awful parents and childhoods, in yet they've made the choice to have a good life and do. Then there are ungrateful children, who are offered every good thing in childhood, and do nothing but complain.

Anyways, I just can't figure it out. So, if you are an oldest daughter, maybe you can enlighten me further. I married an oldest child (who doesn't have these issues), but am also raising one, who I don't want to have them either.

Our latest family member has now been officially added. Goodbye to Greg's little red Nissan that he's had for the past 12 years (we traded straight across), hello big green truck. We've wanted a full size truck for a long time, and after a rather frustrating day trying (key word: trying) to pull something out of our lower yard into the upper, we were on the hunt again. Because we wanted something that will fit our whole family (thinking camper or travel trailer in the future), it only made sense to get a crew/extended cab. This truck is an old forestry truck with very few miles on it and had all the qualities we wanted. Well, the colour is a bit...umm...bright. And it isn't 4x4, but we're hoping that's okay. We took a drive in it the other night, and it's awesome! I love it! A tad difficult to park perhaps, but hey, you get 2 spots!

Anyways, G has been complaining that he doesn't have enough character, so maybe driving this will help? I've also been scouring online for a Smokey the Bear bumper sticker, because it just seems to need one. But most of all, this truck needs a name. Any suggestions??? (we have a couple, but are still taking nominations)

"Better Full than Empty"

Last night as well as the night before, I didn't get much sleep, for different reasons. One being J has been waking up a few times, and I haven't figured out why, also a thunder storm, things like that. Also thinking and can't get back to sleep when I'm awake feeding E. One thing that I've thought about is the purity of our children. Purity of their little physical bodies, but also their spiritual and mental (everyday life experiences). I've wondered how we go about keeping them pure, in a such a sinful world. Keeping them in the world, but out of the world at the same time. You hear about children being molested, exposed to bad movies/music/profanity, etc. and it's so hard on the heart. They are so innocent and their lives are ruined due to the sin of others. Most of them don't know the peace through Jesus Christ either. I know our God is bigger than all human thinking, but sometimes get overwhelmed with my job as a mother. (the lack of sleep always causes things that are just a thought, and makes them into a huge overwhelming mountain to climb).

Although we don't have a huge family, I have been getting comments now about having my "hands full" since having baby#3. I was reading another blog that I've been enjoying lately (The Homemaking Cottage, on my favorites blog list), and a mother had a response to that comment, and that is "better full than empty". It kind of puts it all in perspective, that even though there may be trials, worries, lack of sleep, etc.; these precious children are the best gift we can be given. As I am writing this, L came up and said, "can I tuddle a little bit with you". So, he sat on my lap a second and then I let him down, and he said "well, actually I'd like to tuddle a lot. That was too short." How can you not smile with that love? I wouldn't trade it for any selfish "me time" although I do crave the "me time" every now and then. Especially now with a baby that needs me so regularly.

Organization or bust

Over the past few months, I've received a generous amount of hand-me-downs (thank you, friends). And, due to lack of storage (which is a good thing 95% of the time), I had to make it a priority to go through them all and pass on the stuff I didn't need. Keeping kids clothes organized is one thing, and having enough space to store them is another. One thing I came across that has helped me immensely is the above chart. It was recommended in "The Tightwad Gazette", a book my sister-in-law gave me for Christmas last year, along with many other time/money saving strategies. In the book she recommended keeping this chart in your purse, so you know what you have, and then you know if you need to stock up when things are on clearance or at garage sales. I've been doing it for the past couple years, and it works great! I always know what I have, and when I see a great deal I know how many to buy, only spending what is necessary. In going through the bags of clothes I had now, I found that I'm set for the boys until they are 6 for most things and E until she's 2. That is a big load off my brain and my budget for fast growing kids. If they outgrow something, just reach into the next size bag and find what is needed. I love it when people share good ideas with me, and hope this can be of help to you too!

My Latest Project

Typically sewing is something I save for winter, but since we had a rather gray rainy week last week, I took on a project that has been waiting for a few months. Shortly after baby E was born, we were in my favorite store, Walmart, and I told the boys they could pick out a gift for her. Although the Thomas the Train blanket was much more tempting, they finally decided on this Care Bear one because L said, "because pink is for durls (girls)". They were thrilled each time we used it, but it had one major drawback. A nice silky back which made it slide off the carseat while it should have been covering her, and if I was holding her with it she was like holding onto a wet bar of soap. Something had to be done, or else we'd never use it again. I looked around for some flannel to match, but found nothing I liked that matched it. Then, while back at Walmart I noticed that the blanket had matching receiving blankets that went with it. Great, except they were too small (a good 10 inches too small on one side, the other side was fine). I shopped online, found nothing...so went back and got the receiving blankets. I then pieced them together matching to make them big enough for the back, and then hemmed the edges. The blanket looked good but something was missing. That nice silky edge. Babies love that. So, I went to the fabric store to get some thick ribbon to trim it with, only to realize that ribbon doesn't nicely go around curved corners which this blanket had 4 of. That could be trickier than my sewing skills allowed. So, I called my sister-in-law who sews a lot, to see what she recommended, and she thought making a bias tape out of the satin back would probably be the best bet for the corners (and would use up the satin, which I likely wouldn't use for anything else). Out came my rusty math skills, so I could figure out the yardage, and then figure how many strips and how wide I would need of the satin cut diagonally. I cut strips, sewed them together, ironed them into bias tape and sewed on one side. I tried sewing the other side, but was unable to get a neat top stitch since the fabric was so slippery. I decided to just stitch it by hand from the inside, and that worked great. It took a bit longer, but the blanket turned out just as I had hoped, and we use it all the time now. The boys are still proud when we use it, and E loves sucking on the silky edge. Whew. I'm not much of a sewer, but am glad it turned out.