Potty Gear- favorite beverages (lots of them), potty, large jar of Jelly Belly's, smiling boy
Since many of my acquaintances are in this same stage of life as I, and are frustrated with the "trying to convince the toddler" to become trained, I have hope. My cousin used this method on her kids and introduced it to me, and I've used this method with both my boys, and potty training has been a cinch. Well, it's intense for about 4 hours, and then a breeze. The book was first published in 1974, so many of us were likely trained this way, and although the lingo and pictures are a bit outdated, it really works. ("Toilet Training in Less than a Day" by Nathan Azrin and Richard Foxx) I'm going to run over the highlights so you can see if this is something that would interest you, but I would recommend reading (or at least skimming) the book in case your child isn't textbook and you need some troubleshooting ideas.
Equipment: Doll that wets (we used Curious George since my boys don't know about dolls too much) and I just poured water sneakily into the potty when the time came, lots of training underwear, lots of enticing flavorful drinks (at least 3 kinds), snacks (chips, jelly beans, etc), cloths to wipe up "in case", they also add to have a "friends who care" list (Daddy, Grandma, etc), reminder list (to see when you last did a "dry pants check") if you want, paper for wiping if necessary.
Time: When your child is alert and happy, early morning after breakfast is likely best. Also prep your child in advance "On Saturday we're going to learn how to go potty", reminding them of this often in a cheerful tone.
Other tips: Have other kids, parents, distractions out of the house.
Physical readiness: can your child- point to instructed body parts? over 20 months? stay dry several hours?
Have them help pull pants up and down, watch others go potty, get familiar with the lingo.
If you've had unsuccessful trials in the past, maybe let the other parent try this time.
1) Teach the doll/animal how to potty by giving doll a drink, and then set the doll on the potty. When the doll pees, show your satisfaction by giving a treat. Since the doll can't take the treat, give it to child instead. (Keep giving your child drinks during this time so they'll be ready to go by the time it's their turn) The book teaches to teach the child to empty the potty themselves, but I've found that to be a disaster, no matter how careful they try to be. Pull up dolly's pants, and then check them if they are wet or dry. Keep doing this a few times so the child understands the procedure, and then after that, wet the doll's pants before they get on the potty. Explain that they are wet, and how disappointing this is. Dolly must learn to keep them dry. Have your child show what the doll should have done instead. (get to potty quickly) and then have the child practice showing what the doll should do. Then change the doll into dry underwear. During this time the child learns how important it is to stay dry, the difference between wet and dry, and what happens if you are wet, and the procedure to get to the potty. (Usually takes 1/2 to 1 hour) In this time also, keep them drinking alot varying the drinks if they not interested. Check your childs pants also periodically too, and praise them for having dry pants (have them feel it too, so they know wet from dry) Give child a treat for each dry pants check. Give lots of praise for dry pants and peeing, verbal disappointment for any wet pants. In between always be talking about how important it is is to be dry, and how disappointing to be wet (that's the tiring part).
2) Dress your child in just underwear (loose fitting) and have them practice raising and lowering pants whenever possible. Teach them how to do this themselves (it's okay if they can't because you'll still be there to help them, even once they've learned) Have the child walk to potty, pull pants down, sit quietly for a couple minutes, get up, pull pants up. Eventually (as the drinks keep coming) the child will pee during one of these sessions without even knowing it. As soon as they do, make a big deal out of it, give a treat. Do these sessions about every 10-15 minutes. In between talk about the importance of being dry, how much they'll be like "so and so" because they are a big kid that goes potty, and do dry pants checks every 5 minutes or so. This is where it gets tiring, but keep on... If you see indications that they have to pee, put them on the potty earlier.
The book goes into more detail, which I won't list here, but after they do this successfully a few times, you can relax a bit (you're about 3-4 hours into it by now). Do dry pants checks every 15 minutes then, but if they are wet (keep an eye on them, so you can stop them as soon as they try to wet them rather than waiting until there is puddle on the floor), show your verbal disapproval and then have them repeat the proper procedure 10 times from different areas in the house, without letting them finish peeing any time in there. Then show them their wet pants and make them change into dry. At this point, both parent and child are likely exhausted, but the work is pretty much done.
Keep the child in sight the rest of the day (and days ahead until you're confident they know what they're doing) so you can remind them to get to the potty if they start to wet their pants. As soon as I've relaxed and let my kids out of sight, I forget that they're training, and accidents happen. They poop easier this way too because they are going to the bathroom anyways with all the drinks they are getting and the poop just happens (juice has that effect). Keep them full of enticing drinks the whole next week so that they get lots of practice and figure it out. I still diaper them at night , but haven't hardly had to. L was fully trained in 3 days, and J in less than a week (at age 2 1/2). Although this method is more intense at one time, I like it because it's better than weeks/months/years of it. Also, it gets them motivated, instead of waiting forever until they feel like it (would you want the hassle of stopping playing to go to the bathroom at that age, not likely). My motivation was the price of diapers (a case is worth a nice date for me and my sweetie), so maybe you can find something enjoyable that will motivate you.
If you want the book, I found mine on half.com for 0.75 plus shipping. Or I've seen it at Borders too for about $6.
