Something inspiring??

I wish I could write a bit more often, but it seems lately nothing interesting nor inspiring has come to mind. And since humor is not usually part of my day, unfortunately, I can't even tell a funny story. As my sister in law K mentioned on facebook the other day, once in a while something funny comes out of her mouth by accident, but that's about it. Same here. I feel that this is the area of my marriage I would most love to improve on, since it brightens many a day. The other night our family went to a birthday party, and many good friends were there (aka: a good audience). My husband told humorous stories the whole night, and had the guys laughing around the table the whole evening we were there. I hadn't seen him laugh like that in a very long time and it made me happy to see him so happy, but also sad that I cannot help him fulfill that aspect of life. I guess we need to spend more time with those people who bring out that side of him, since there are many areas where he doesn't feel that comfortable to be himself. I pondered for many years how to be more funny, but finally concluded that I just don't have it in me. I'll be the listener to the jokes and tales, because if everyone were the funny one, then there is no one to listen. And the person to make G laugh the most is his brother, and there is absolutely no way I could ever try to match him in the humor dept. So, I'll just settle for who I am, and invite people over who make my husband laugh so that he can get his quota regularly.

Monday challenge

So today one of the things on my "to do" list was to put a new zipper in an article of clothing that needed one. It's a favorite that can't be replaced, so after putting it off for a year or so now, I am supposed to be doing that right now. Thinking back, I haven't put a zipper in anything since high school home ec, so am in a way looking forward to the challenge, and on the other hand dreading the potential results. After I decided that it was time to actually tackle this project, the zipper handle broke off my favorite hoodie sweatshirt, and either needs a zipper or replacement. Hmm. If it goes good today, I'll attempt it, but if it's a disaster, a new sweatshirt may be in order. This is the time in my life where I actually have time to do all these projects that willingly wait for me to get to them. My kids are old enough they can entertain themselves for quite a while, it's winter and we're inside anyways, and my organization is at one of it's better stages overall. (my house is not clean, by any stretch of the imagination, but could be easily if I wanted it to be). I'm trying to catch up on all those things that have been waiting, because once the new baby gets here, that stage will be over for a couple more years, I'm sure. (I've done babybooks, organized all clothes, hopechest, cleaned all my kitchen appliances, filed all papers, etc.) Now all I need is a dresser for the spare room so I can put away all that I've organized. I'll close now and get my littlest kiddo for nap so I can attempt the dreaded zipper insertion. Later...

"My Utmost for His Highest" by Oswald Chambers

A warning which needs to be repeated is that "the cares of this world and the deceitfulness of riches," and the lust for other things, will choke out the life of God in us (Matthew 13:22). We are never free from the recurring waves of this invasion. If the frontline of attack is not about clothes and food, it may be about money or the lack of money; or friends or lack of friends; or the line may be drawn over difficult circumstances. It is one steady invasion, and these things will come in like a flood, unless we allow the Spirit of God to raise up the banner against it.

"I say to you, do not worry about your life . . . ." Our Lord says to be careful only about one thing-our relationship to Him. But our common sense shouts loudly and says, "That is absurd, I must consider how I am going to live, and I must consider what I am going to eat and drink." Jesus says you must not. Beware of allowing yourself to think that He says this while not understanding your circumstances. Jesus Christ knows our circumstances better than we do, and He says we must not think about these things to the point where they become the primary concern of our life. Whenever there are competing concerns in your life, be sure you always put your relationship to God first.

"Sufficient for the day is its own trouble" (Matthew 6:34). How much trouble has begun to threaten you today? What kind of mean little demons have been looking into your life and saying, "What are your plans for next month— or next summer?" Jesus tells us not to worry about any of these things. Look again and think. Keep your mind on the "much more" of your heavenly Father (Matthew 6:30).

Marriage thoughts

I was recently asked what makes a happy marriage, and although I know what some of the 'secrets' are deep down, to actually write them down is harder. I would say 1) the Golden Rule (treat your spouse as you want to be treated in all things) 2) forgive sins before they ever admit them or ask 3) don't be selfish (everytime G or I have difficulties it all comes down to selfishness on one or usually both of our parts) 4) if you need a hug, cuddle, etc. ask for it. Don't assume your spouse knows these things because they can't read your mind. 5) Seek Godly wisdom from the Bible and respected elders who've been happily married for years (decades would be better) 6) Be the first to make things right. 7) Don't discuss 'hot' topics when you are tired, irritated, stressed, etc. That only makes things worse. Wait until you are well rested and not in the heat of the moment as we all tend to say things we'll regret. 8) Do what is best for your marriage (not what your parents, inlaws, etc. think is best), and don't share unnecessary information about your marriage with people other than your spouse. It may feel like venting, but isn't putting the best construction on your spouse (would you like it if they did that about you?) 9) Never use your spouses weak areas to your own gain. When we marry and live with someone, we quickly learn what their weaknesses are (as they do for us). To use these as tools in a disagreement is lower than polititians do to each other, and is never acceptable. To end, I'll quote my favorite quote from Ravi Zacharias, "there is never a good enough reason to be unkind to one another".

Enjoying relaxing with my sweetie. One of the favorite things to do of all time.

A couple of my favorite pictures of the boys in Florida

One day at a time

Just a few days later, and glad to report that today is going well. Still haven't figured out the kid things, but at least I feel a bit more ready to tackle the challenges when they arise. This comes from 1) encouragement from God (through His Word and church) 2) encouragement from my husband 3) encouragement from friends who patiently listen and sympathize without letting me carry things out too far 4) a hot bath, a cup of tea, a chunk of dark chocolate, sunshine through the windows and those other little perks that lift you up so much when you need a lift. I have been getting some long put off projects done as well, which helps me feel like things are going forwards in some areas, even if not in others. I think the biggest fear I have right now, is that I'll end up with nursing/food/sleep issues with new baby like we went through with J, and I can't even think of that without shuddering. Luckily we don't know the future, and likely I'll be faced with a whole new set of challenges, but at this point have a hard time looking at all into the future and thinking of what life will be like with a new baby, as the thoughts themselves overwhelm me. The nightmares we've gone through with J are still too fresh in my mind (and far from solved as well). "One day at a time, sweet Jesus, that's all I'm asking of you, Give me the strength, to do every day, what I have to do," I try to sing to myself and it helps. That is all God asks, that we trust Him one day at a time.

A New Year, not so new thoughts

Wow! I didn't realize how long it's been since I've written on here, but have felt very uninspired lately and am trying to figure it all out. I haven't ever (in my life that I can recall) felt like this before, and I think alot has to do with pregnancy hormones. Excess of certain ones and depletion of others that I am used to having around in my body. I'm hoping that this produces a baby girl (as that is what many people have told me about being pregnant with girls), so that the feelings and lack of feelings that are abiding with me will end here in a few months. Who knows though. It's also winter, after a wonderful vacation, and my boys have been driving me crazy with their lack of discipline (which is my fault, I know, but I haven't had the energy to deal with). I do wonder though, (to those of you with older children)...how much dawdling should be allowed, and how much should not? How much do you let them make their own choices (at 3 yrs old) and how much do you make them abide by yours? I guess it's probably a lifetime of finding that medium ground, but I wish there was an easier answer. I hate nagging or being a drill seargent, and do know in theory how this whole thing SHOULD work, but can't seem to make it happen. I'd love to get things under control before new baby shows up, as I know spanking kids while you're nursing a baby is rather difficult but just can't seem to figure it all out. Do they need more attention or less? Do they need more of their own choices or less (to learn who is boss)? Do they need a nap or will we pay more if they don't take one. Do I give them less food so I don't have to nag them to eat, and then hear them whine because "I'm hungry, I want a snack" all afternoon? And how come both kids cannot sleep through the night on the same night. Just once, would be nice. J finally started (again for the millionth time) sleeping all night, and what do you know: L is up then every night and although doesn't "need" me, has to wake me to tell me he has to go to the bathroom. So now, L is sleeping all night again and J is up 1-4 times (more molars) They'll likely finish coming in about the end of April right when I can't sleep because of pregnancy discomfort or the baby actually gets here. Anyways, I'll close before I get too whiny. Life is good, and the boys do make me laugh most of the day...it's just that for many months I haven't felt myself, and that is rather frustrating since I am not able to be who I want to be (I'd love to have over some company, but can't seem to make it happen), and also have been way more emotional than I care to admit. I'm chalking it up to hormones at this point, and will let you know in about May if things have changed. I'll finish with a cute thing Luke said the other day. We were having "Show and Tell" at Sunday School and he was telling about finding seashells on the beach on our Florida trip. The one teacher asked him, "Did God make those seashells?" and he answered, "No, they were just sitting there."

Giving Thanks to God for Many Blessings

Just relaxing this morning (because Thanksgiving dinner isn't at my house today) and thinking of all the things I'm thankful for. My cousin M wrote down her list, and that inspired me to write my own, as well as post it on the fridge for those days when I'd rather gripe than be thankful to God for all the blessings that come only from His hand. In no particular order:
1. Salvation through Christ, full and free
2. My loving, patient, caring, considerate husband
3. My eldest sensitive, cuddly, thoughtful son
4. My younger spunky, lively, makes-you-laugh (and cry alot too) all the time son
5. Extended loving friends and family
6. A warm house in the winter
7. Good food to eat and no worries about not having enough
8. A healthy pregnancy thus far
9. Stable work and pay for my husband to provide for our needs
10. The ability to stay at home with my kids
11. Biblical guidance in training up our children
12. Forgiveness for my failures and shortcomings
13. Reliable vehicles to drive
14. Overall good health of family and friends
15. Good music, tea, warm baths, candles and all those little things that brighten my days

I pray that I can continually remember these things, as well as many more blessings we receive each day and forget to give thanks for.

Life as a Parent

I just thought I'd write a few lines on how ironic it is, that every time I schedule something, someone gets sick and I have to cancel. How does sickness know you have plans? I recall missing a choir concert recently, last years Christmas program, having company last week for our yearly Christmas girls function. Somehow, either I end up ill (like this time, so I couldn't even blame anyone) or one of the kids just happens to show up with illness at the last minute. It likely is also because we try to keep busy in the winter, so schedule lots of stuff, and then eat junk and end up with low immunity because of all the sugar and lack of sleep...but it still seems unfair. Oh well... I do wonder if I should ever make plans for my life again. Maybe I should just never have company and never make any commitments, to remove that disappointment that comes when we have to cancel....but then again, that'd be pretty boring too. Even moreso than the anticipation of looking forward to fun things and then having to stay home and staring at the walls. Spring will come again someday...and hopefully with it health and a healthy new baby to look forward to.

thoughts on adoption

Just recently some friends of ours found out they were going to be parents through adoption, after much time waiting. The baby was to be born the end of December, and the wife had gone to prenatal checkups with the birth mother, as well as met with her prior to this, as she (birth mom) had chosen them to be the parents for her baby. Well, they got a surprise a couple weeks ago when the mom went into labor 2 months early, so they are suddenly parents now (much to their happiness but also surprise). Baby is doing well and should be released soon, but it got me thinking about our spiritual adoption. In natural adoption, once a child is adopted, there is no going back. That child is yours for the rest of your life. You can't disown them (as you can a natural born child), but they are yours forever. We as Gentiles are adopted into the kingdom of heaven when we believe, and this is a promise that can't be taken away. I think of that song A Child of a King "I've been adopted, my name's written down; an heir to a mansion, a robe and a crown." We sure don't deserve it, but the promise is there, that whoever believes on Him, will have eternal life. Not just the chosen people, or the good people, or the ones with the right genetics. Galations 4 says "But when the fulness of the time was come, God sent forth his Son, made of a woman, made under the law, to redeem them that were under the law, that we might receive the adoption of sons. And because ye are sons, God hath sent forth the Spirit of his Son into your hearts, crying, Abba, Father. Wherefore thou art no more a servant, but a son; and if a son, than an heir of God through Christ." What a wonderful promise!!

the un-excitement of the week

Not much on my mind today, but do feel a great deal better than yesterday, or the day before. On Wednesday I had my first prenatal appointment, and the only slot they had open was 8:30 am. Fine for me, but I have 2 boys that I have worked on getting them to sleep until that time for my own benefit. Not only that, but I needed to talk to the financial counsellor before the appointment, making me have to be there at 8. So, I faithfully make up some pb&j sandwiches and milk cups for the boys, wake them and plunk them directly in their car seats and drive off to town. I get there right at 8 (and you moms know how hard it is to actually get somewhere on time) and tell them what the deal is, and they tell me to just wait as S (her name) isn't in yet. I wait, and wait, and wait, and then find out she had a meeting today and won't be in until afternoon.(she did call and apologize that afternoon, so she's forgiven) So, they are late getting me back for the appointment, so I have sat a total of an hour in the waiting room with 2 tired (but happy, thankfully) boys when we all could have been sleeping. Oh, did I mention that I had 'slept' half the night in the LazBoy with James as he was already not feeling well and was tossing and turning and crying if he wasn't in my lap? Needless to say waiting that long would have been fine any other day, but today? I just didn't need that. The appointment went fine from then on, and my due date is officially April 23, so we'll see what actually happens. To add to the excitement, Tuesday Luke had the flu, and Thursday James awoke in the night with it. At least they both didn't have it at the same time, because two puking kids would just be bad news. Luke is luckily old enough to handle it pretty good, but James still needs alot of assistance. And although I've dealt with my share of sickness in my nursing career (think of the Mesa ER with all it's old people and post-op surgery floors -full of puking), I still don't handle it too well. It all started when I was a pretty new nurse and a sweet old man was coughing and I handed him a Kleenex and at that exact moment he coughed so hard he threw up into my gloveless hand. I've just never been the same. (my apologies to those of a weak stomach) ;) I did get our budget figured and honed in this week, so now the challenge is to live by it!! That'll be the hard part, but I know will pay off (Greg had to turn down an offer for a hand made Nicarauguan (sp?) guitar that he wanted the first day we were on track, but I'm sure we'll survive, we just had to laugh at the irony of it) Not that we needed a guitar, as neither of us even know how to play. Definitely not a necessity.

Busy Saturday wanderings

Yesterday I feel like was just a whirlwind, so today was spent recovering and napping. We arose early to get Greg's truck running (parked at the bottom of our driveway and needed push-started to get going) so that he could get the starter replaced at a friends house. (the friend needed to borrow it and offered to fix it in payment of using). So, Greg got going early and I continued getting ready for being gone all day with the boys being babysat all day. So I then got the boys out the door in the nick of time, delivered to Auntie J's house, and kept on trucking to get Greg to head to the Rose Garden to see Dave Ramsey(http://www.daveramsey.com/). We missed our parking exit, and ended up on one of Portland's many bridges, and had to meander back again, verging on late because of the mishap. So, finally able to stop running and just sit, we sat all day (1-6) and got very excited about cracking down on all debt, which is his main schpeil (sp?). Living in our means and not buying things we can't afford (if you don't have the money, don't buy it). He's quite inspirational, and his methods are so basic that anyone with a some discipline can follow them. He says you have to be weird (to expect to not have mortgage is definitely weird in this day and age), so I guess we can expect some weirdness in our future. He encourages cutting up of all credit cards, using cash (which is hard to do, as we've already been trying it, but it works) and only using debit cards when necessary (you spend way more when you use debit rather than cash). So, hopefully we can implement what we've learned and then prayerfully be more able to help others in need instead of giving all our money to banks (who may 'need' it, but it sure isn't a good investment or a blessing to God) Anyways, then we headed back to Uncle R & Auntie J's house and had wonderful soup for supper and a great visit before tiredly heading home. Thankfully we got another hour of sleep due to daylight savings time change. Today we came home from church, napped and now are ready to eat some apple pie that Greg has been requesting all fall (and summer and spring and finally gets).