Marriage thoughts

I was recently asked what makes a happy marriage, and although I know what some of the 'secrets' are deep down, to actually write them down is harder. I would say 1) the Golden Rule (treat your spouse as you want to be treated in all things) 2) forgive sins before they ever admit them or ask 3) don't be selfish (everytime G or I have difficulties it all comes down to selfishness on one or usually both of our parts) 4) if you need a hug, cuddle, etc. ask for it. Don't assume your spouse knows these things because they can't read your mind. 5) Seek Godly wisdom from the Bible and respected elders who've been happily married for years (decades would be better) 6) Be the first to make things right. 7) Don't discuss 'hot' topics when you are tired, irritated, stressed, etc. That only makes things worse. Wait until you are well rested and not in the heat of the moment as we all tend to say things we'll regret. 8) Do what is best for your marriage (not what your parents, inlaws, etc. think is best), and don't share unnecessary information about your marriage with people other than your spouse. It may feel like venting, but isn't putting the best construction on your spouse (would you like it if they did that about you?) 9) Never use your spouses weak areas to your own gain. When we marry and live with someone, we quickly learn what their weaknesses are (as they do for us). To use these as tools in a disagreement is lower than polititians do to each other, and is never acceptable. To end, I'll quote my favorite quote from Ravi Zacharias, "there is never a good enough reason to be unkind to one another".