What We've Been Up To Lately

I've wanted to write an update for a while, but with 4 kids, it seems like it never gets to the top of the priority list. In the evening after everyone is in bed would be an ideal time, but I tend to get cynical and a bit too opinionated to write in an unbiased form. Today I'm home from church by myself with a sickish baby, so I have a bit of peace and quiet. So, here's what we've been up to this winter so far.

Tending to babies. Isaac is now 5 months and is growing healthy and strong. He's got a cold/cough right now that I'm hoping is on it's way out, but other than that is his cheerful self. He was having some teething pain, but a friend lent us an amber teething necklace which seems to have made the symptoms disappear. Highly recommend!

Homeschooling. Luke is plugging away at his 3R's and doing great with them. James is sounding out words and asking how to spell lots of things. Elise is well...getting better at being obedient overall.

Reading. Although I don't have much time to read, I did get and borrow some books I've been trying to get through. In no particular order here's what I've been reading, along with my regular Better Homes and Gardens, Sunset and Reader's Digest.
Be Fruitful and Multiply by Nancy Campbell
Basically letting God be your family planning guide, not societal norms or our own limited human understanding. Understanding that the Bible reiterates that the main reason for marriage is for the expansion of His kingdom, not our own pleasure/enjoyment (although they come after we've been obedient to His first commands). Hundreds of Bible verses which state such truths.
The Maker's Diet by Jordan Rubin
O.K. Just finished this book, and it is awesome. I've read lots of health/nutrition books, and this one sums up what all the other ones give bits and pieces of. This goes back to the Bible and the laws God gave of what we should eat and how we should eat it. It's also in a doable form, rather than complex/expensive/confusing recipes that no one in their right mind can do. This gives a 40 day plan for getting back on track, and then you just follow it to maintain that lifestyle. It inspired us to again work on getting our own goats, so we can have a larger supply of raw goats milk, which is good in every way! The hardest will likely be giving up pork. It's just sooo good! (giving up ostrich and emu will likely not be as challenging) He also has a section on essential oils and herbs and how to incorporate them into your daily life. He healed himself from Crohn's disease with this diet, after being 6'1" and 104 lbs and almost dead.
Setting Their Hope in God by Andrew Case
I've been looking for a book that helps me better pray for my children, as it seems I just pray the same thing over and over, and I was wanting something that expanded that. This book was recommended on a blog I read and is great, as all the prayers come straight from Scripture. I'm not real far into it yet, but have been satisfied thus far.
Homeschool Your Child for Free by LauraMaery Gold
I've had this book for a while, but opened it again for inspiration. I'm convinced that I do not need to spend hundreds (or thousands) of dollars on curriculum for our children. Tons of free options out there. I did spend the money on a library card a couple weeks ago, as we can't get free ones since we live out of city limits. So, instead of totally free, we're at cheap!
Raising Godly Tomatoes by L. Elizabeth Kreuger
As mentioned in my previous post, I love this site and this book. It's the most effective, straightforward child rearing book I've come across. And it works. Everything I've tried in it works. She also deals consistently with heart matters rather than just correcting behavior. Knowing the motives and intentions is most times more effective than just correcting the behavior at hand.

So that's what I've been reading. I'd love to have a bit of Francine Rivers thrown in too, but don't have any on hand. Guess it'll just be non-fiction this stage of the game.

Well, lunch is ready and the family just showed up, so I'll close up for today.

Baked Potato Soup recipe (mostly non-dairy)

I made this soup a couple weeks ago, and it turned out awesome!! Since we're trying to limit dairy, I wanted something that would use little-to-none, rather than many cups of milk to make it creamy. I ended up adding a cup of whole milk at the end just to get the right consistency, but it would have tasted just as good with none. The kids are drinking raw goat milk these days, but it's pretty expensive, so I try to give it to them in more metered doses rather than using a whole jug up in soup! I also did it in my new Dutch oven that I got for Christmas. I love, love, love that thing!












8 baking potatoes (preferably organic, as you eat the skins)
1 head cauliflower
2-3 stalks of kale, chopped finely (optional)
1/2 onion, chopped finely
1 cup milk/cream
1/2 pack of bacon (1/2 lb, I think)
3-4 c. broth (chicken, beef or veggie)
3 green onions or handful of chives
shredded cheese
sour cream

Bake your potatoes in the oven in their skins (no foil) after scrubbing clean. (About an hour at 350*F). Set aside to cool slightly (so you can handle them). While they are baking, fry your bacon in the Dutch oven. Remove from pan and drain most of the drippings. In the remaining bacon drippings, saute 1/2 onion until translucent. (med heat) Add broth and bring to a boil. Chop your cauliflower coarsely and add to boiling broth. While the cauliflower is cooking, slice your potatoes open and scoop out the flesh. Collect it all to add back into the soup. When cauliflower is almost done, add your potatoes. Simmer and then add kale 5 minutes before serving. Right before serving, either mash up any chunks with an immersion blender or potato masher (depending if you want the soup chunky or smooth). Add milk or cream to get it to the consistency you like. While the soup is simmering, chop your potato skins into bite size pieces and put on a baking sheet and place back in the oven to crisp up. To serve, ladle soup into bowls and top with potato skins, bacon bits, green onions, cheese and sour cream according to your likings.

We've been trying to get more veggies in our diet, and kale is one of the ones I've been adding to soups and then blending it. I like it because it's packed with vitamins (especially vitamin K), and doesn't get mushy like some other greens do. I add it so it's in there just long enough to soften it slightly before serving.

The Sugar Connection

Last week we were doing great. The kids were behaving amazingly well, due to stepping up the training on our part (us parents) and I was quite happy with how they got along with me, as well as each other (minimal fighting!) I had recently received the paper copy of Raising Godly Tomatoes that I had ordered and had got remotivated to get them back on track. It seems like they do so well for such a long time, that I forget and don't even notice the slight decay in their behavior until it blasts me right in the face. But, since baby #4 has come along, things have been slipping. Being tardy, neglectful and just plain not listening very well have become more the norm than the exception. I don't blame the kids, as they are just that - kids. It was time to get back in the swing of things again though. Even Elise was doing her tasks "qwick-wy and cheewfowwy" (quickly and cheerfully) as is required in our house.

This week is the complete opposite. It's as if their ears don't work at all, I'm getting irritated (to say the least) and nothing is going smoothly. In trying to figure out why, I came up with a possible cause. I really think that culprit is sugar. Over the weekend they indulged in a whack of Valentine's candy (it was on clearance, loaded also with red #40) and then some huge, delicious cinnamon rolls, some apple crisp and who knows what else. Normally our house is pretty limited in the sugar department, and I can't figure out how else my beautiful children could so quickly turn into delinquents. Then I remember my sister saying that whenever one of her kids ate candy when he was young, it took a week to get him back into the sweet boy she knew he was. The combination of sugar and dyes just was too much for him.

It's no wonder that if this much junk food can do this to my kids, what's it doing to our nation? No wonder so many kids are diagnosed with ADD and all sorts of other attention problems. Pretty much every packaged food has some sort of either sugar or dye to make it more attractive. We try to make as much food from scratch to avoid those things in our own house, but how many other homes pay no attention to the amount of sugar their kids take in. And then they wonder why they get no respect and the kids don't listen. And the kids pay the price now (for repeated punishment) as well as likely not feeling very well overall, possible medications in severe cases and then a life of health problems in the future. Sad.

I was also reminded of this video I saw a while back. I tried to share it on here but was unable, so you'll have to click on the link and then watch it there.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/celebritology/post/jamie-oliver-fills-school-bus-with-sugar-on-food-revolution/2011/04/13/AFOk2WVD_blog.html

I love sweets myself, but limit them mostly because if they are in the house, I eat them. Eat.Them.All. So, if I can't put restraints on myself, I can see how much harder it is for a child who doesn't have all the guilt/knowledge of how detrimental the excess can be. We won't even start on the damage to teeth. I'd rather not have to worry about it. Just have some on occasion and call it good. But, apparently this weekend it was just a little too good. Oh, and they all got sick (colds) too. Double whammy.

Princesses, princesses everywhere, (gag)

This post follows one that I wrote a couple years ago here in which I stated my fear of having a daughter that would turn out to be a "princess". Thankfully we have a daughter, and thankfully thus far have been able to avoid the syndrome. The other day, a friend who I hadn't seen in a while mentioned that I have one princess among my boys. I know she meant well, but it again reminded me how much it bothers me to hear little girls acting this way or being treated this way (most often by their parents).

The dictionary gives the definition as this:
prin·cess (prnss, -ss, prn-ss) n.

1. A woman member of a royal family other than the monarch, especially a daughter of a monarch. 2. A woman who is a ruler of a principality. 3. A noblewoman of varying status or rank. 4. The wife of a prince. 5. A woman regarded as having the status or qualities of a princess.

Do any of our daughters fall into that category? Are we raising royalty? Why aren't we raising our sons to be princes then? Other than being a child of a King (that King being our God on high), we should all be much more focused on being servants to one another, following in Christ's footsteps, and calling our daughters names that encourage that. The idea that our daughters should be princesses (that will one day meet Prince Charming) only sets them up for failure. The world is not going to see them as anything other than one of the many millions of others out there. Their future employers are going to want someone who digs in and works hard (more like Cinderella in her former days). Their future husband will hopefully treat her like a princess, but is she going to attract the right kind of husband with her world-owes-me-a-favor-'cause-I'm-so-cute attitude?

I say the rest of this because we finally got a library card and Elise checked out 2 Disney princess books (she already has a few doodads, so recognized them). Reading those books was nauseating. All about beauty and Prince Charming and dresses and "how do I look?" business. We've only watched Cinderella as far as the princess movies go, and I am thankful my kids enjoyed the cat and mouse shenanigans more than the rest of the story. (Except James who asked, "why were those stepsisters trying to kill Cinderella?" when they were stealing their beads and sashes back.) And I don't think we'll be watching the rest of them anytime soon. Beauty and the Beast has always bothered me due to the notion that it portrays that everything will work out if you just love someone enough. Hello, not true!

These days Elise is quite happy with Holley Shiftwell (from Cars 2), Strawberry Shortcake , Hello, Kitty with a smattering of Tinkerbell and that's just fine with me! Just as I finished typing this, I checked my email and this was written on one of them about training our children. Kind of sums up my thoughts on the matter.

"Instead of worrying about "socialization", concentrate on raising polite, courteous and thoughtful people. Teach your children the importance of having a few good friends instead of a bunch of mediocre acquaintances. Stress loyalty and dedication over popularity and shallow emotional gratification."

"Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass. And he shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgment as the noonday." (Psalm 37:5-6)

Don't Carpe Diem, part I

I'm posting this article, as it should be read before I post my opinion in the next post. So, this is part I, part II to follow below.

by Glennon Melton

"Every time I'm out with my kids -- this seems to happen:

An older woman stops us, puts her hand over her heart and says something like, "Oh, Enjoy every moment. This time goes by so fast."

Everywhere I go, someone is telling me to seize the moment, raise my awareness, be happy, enjoy every second, etc, etc, etc.

I know that this message is right and good. But, I have finally allowed myself to admit that it just doesn't work for me. It bugs me. This CARPE DIEM message makes me paranoid and panicky. Especially during this phase of my life - while I'm raising young kids. Being told, in a million different ways to CARPE DIEM makes me worry that if I'm not in a constant state of intense gratitude and ecstasy, I'm doing something wrong.

I think parenting young children (and old ones, I've heard) is a little like climbing Mount Everest. Brave, adventurous souls try it because they've heard there's magic in the climb. They try because they believe that finishing, or even attempting the climb are impressive accomplishments. They try because during the climb, if they allow themselves to pause and lift their eyes and minds from the pain and drudgery, the views are breathtaking. They try because even though it hurts and it's hard, there are moments that make it worth the hard. These moments are so intense and unique that many people who reach the top start planning, almost immediately, to climb again. Even though any climber will tell you that most of the climb is treacherous, exhausting, killer. That they literally cried most of the way up.

And so I think that if there were people stationed, say, every thirty feet along Mount Everest yelling to the climbers -- "ARE YOU ENJOYING YOURSELF!? IF NOT, YOU SHOULD BE! ONE DAY YOU'LL BE SORRY YOU DIDN'T!" TRUST US!! IT'LL BE OVER TOO SOON! CARPE DIEM!" -- those well-meaning, nostalgic cheerleaders might be physically thrown from the mountain.

Now. I'm not suggesting that the sweet old ladies who tell me to ENJOY MYSELF be thrown from a mountain. These are wonderful ladies. Monkees, probably. But last week, a woman approached me in the Target line and said the following: "Sugar, I hope you are enjoying this. I loved every single second of parenting my two girls. Every single moment. These days go by so fast."

At that particular moment, Amma had arranged one of the new bras I was buying on top of her sweater and was sucking a lollipop that she must have found on the ground. She also had three shop-lifted clip-on neon feathers stuck in her hair. She looked exactly like a contestant from Toddlers and Tiaras. I couldn't find Chase anywhere, and Tish was grabbing the pen on the credit card swiper thing WHILE the woman in front of me was trying to use it. And so I just looked at the woman, smiled and said, "Thank you. Yes. Me too. I am enjoying every single moment. Especially this one. Yes. Thank you."

That's not exactly what I wanted to say, though.

There was a famous writer who, when asked if he loved writing, replied, "No. but I love having written." What I wanted to say to this sweet woman was, "Are you sure? Are you sure you don't mean you love having parented?"

I love having written. And I love having parented. My favorite part of each day is when the kids are put to sleep (to bed) and Craig and I sink into the couch to watch some quality TV, like Celebrity Wife Swap, and congratulate each other on a job well done. Or a job done, at least.

Every time I write a post like this, I get emails suggesting that I'm being negative. I have received this particular message four or five times -- G, if you can't handle the three you have, why do you want a fourth?

That one always stings, and I don't think it's quite fair. Parenting is hard. Just like lots of important jobs are hard. Why is it that the second a mother admits that it's hard, people feel the need to suggest that maybe she's not doing it right? Or that she certainly shouldn't add more to her load. Maybe the fact that it's so hard means she IS doing it right...in her own way...and she happens to be honest.

Craig is a software salesman. It's a hard job in this economy. And he comes home each day and talks a little bit about how hard it is. And I don't ever feel the need to suggest that he's not doing it right, or that he's negative for noticing that it's hard, or that maybe he shouldn't even consider taking on more responsibility. And I doubt anybody comes by his office to make sure he's ENJOYING HIMSELF. I doubt his boss peeks in his office and says: "This career stuff...it goes by so fast...ARE YOU ENJOYING EVERY MOMENT IN THERE, CRAIG???? CARPE DIEM, CRAIG!"

My point is this. I used to worry that not only was I failing to do a good enough job at parenting, but that I wasn't enjoying it enough. Double failure. I felt guilty because I wasn't in parental ecstasy every hour of every day and I wasn't MAKING THE MOST OF EVERY MOMENT like the mamas in the parenting magazines seemed to be doing. I felt guilty because honestly, I was tired and cranky and ready for the day to be over quite often. And because I knew that one day, I'd wake up and the kids would be gone, and I'd be the old lady in the grocery store with my hand over my heart. Would I be able to say I enjoyed every moment? No.

But the fact remains that I will be that nostalgic lady. I just hope to be one with a clear memory. And here's what I hope to say to the younger mama gritting her teeth in line:

"It's helluva hard, isn't it? You're a good mom, I can tell. And I like your kids, especially that one peeing in the corner. She's my favorite. Carry on, warrior. Six hours till bedtime." And hopefully, every once in a while, I'll add -- "Let me pick up that grocery bill for ya, sister. Go put those kids in the van and pull on up -- I'll have them bring your groceries out."

Anyway. Clearly, Carpe Diem doesn't work for me. I can't even carpe fifteen minutes in a row, so a whole diem is out of the question.

Here's what does work for me:

There are two different types of time. Chronos time is what we live in. It's regular time, it's one minute at a time, it's staring down the clock till bedtime time, it's ten excruciating minutes in the Target line time, it's four screaming minutes in time out time, it's two hours till daddy gets home time. Chronos is the hard, slow passing time we parents often live in.

Then there's Kairos time. Kairos is God's time. It's time outside of time. It's metaphysical time. It's those magical moments in which time stands still. I have a few of those moments each day. And I cherish them.

Like when I actually stop what I'm doing and really look at Tish. I notice how perfectly smooth and brownish her skin is. I notice the perfect curves of her teeny elf mouth and her asianish brown eyes, and I breathe in her soft Tishy smell. In these moments, I see that her mouth is moving but I can't hear her because all I can think is -- This is the first time I've really seen Tish all day, and my God -- she is so beautiful. Kairos.

Like when I'm stuck in chronos time in the grocery line and I'm haggard and annoyed and angry at the slow check-out clerk. And then I look at my cart and I'm transported out of chronos. And suddenly I notice the piles and piles of healthy food I'll feed my children to grow their bodies and minds and I remember that most of the world's mamas would kill for this opportunity. This chance to stand in a grocery line with enough money to pay. And I just stare at my cart. At the abundance. The bounty. Thank you, God. Kairos.

Or when I curl up in my cozy bed with Theo asleep at my feet and Craig asleep by my side and I listen to them both breathing. And for a moment, I think- how did a girl like me get so lucky? To go to bed each night surrounded by this breath, this love, this peace, this warmth? Kairos.

These kairos moments leave as fast as they come- but I mark them. I say the word kairos in my head each time I leave chronos. And at the end of the day, I don't remember exactly what my kairos moments were, but I remember I had them. And that makes the pain of the daily parenting climb worth it.

If I had a couple Kairos moments during the day, I call it a success.

Carpe a couple of Kairoses a day.

Good enough for me."

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/glennon-melton/dont-carpe-diem_b_1206346.html

"Carpe Diem" (Seize the Day) part II

Today I read the above article, and it really hit home to me. Maybe because I've just gotten past the scary newborn stage, and am now into the oh-so-fun teething stage. But partly because many folks these days are caught up in the "One Thousand Gifts" mantra, and I just haven't been able to jump on the bandwagon. Don't get me wrong, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being thankful for the little things, the everyday things, and the boring and even mundane things. I think it's great to be grateful for all the things we're given and find myself being grateful and thankful many hundred times each day (as well as being frustrated or irritated at some situation) too. But, do I need to write it all down? Because I feel like if I don't, then I'm not being thankful enough. What if I just prayerfully thank God for my blessings (generally speaking, for the most part, only a few of them specific), does that mean I'm not thankful enough? I wrote about some of those in this post a while back.

Thinking about this today, I started to mentally keep track of things I'm thankful for in the day, just to see where my thoughts randomly went (without specifically sending them anywhere, such as into thankfulness mode). I had thankful thoughts all day long.
I'm thankful that the snow was melting (I was also thankful it came!)
-for my nice warm house,
-our wood stove,
-firewood,
-my new homemade soaked oatmeal granola (yum, can't wait to try eating it tomorrow morning, and will share recipe if it's as good as I think it'll be),
-the fact that my baby boy loves my hanging paper lanterns as much as I do (he gets a big grin every time he looks at them) and I've tried taking them down in the past, but miss them too much myself
-that I got my tall counter cleaned off (rarely happens)
-good memories in the pictures I found while cleaning the counter
-my oldest son's willingness to help hundreds of times each day
-second boys grin right before I had to admonish him ---- again
-my little girl's "my wips is kind of dwy" (hint hint: need chapstick)
-my baby boy sleeping on my chest (no wonder I have so much trouble sleep training)
-my sweetie working hard for all of us, getting up so early
-hot bath with a new magazine
-cloth diapers (I have to change them more often, but they make me super happy every time I use them)
-carpet floors on cold days
-a laptop to type while in my comfy LazyBoy while nursing my baby
-Christmas lights still up in the front window that cast a warm glow on the room in the dark
-being able to crochet while baby sleeps on my chest each afternoon
-comfy baby carriers
-lots of pants for my neglectful potty training girl
-warm winter boots that I bought in Alaska that are waterproof
-dark chocolate from Trader Joe's
-beef in the freezer for when I can't get to town
-the ability to have my children home with me and to be able to educate them and watch them grow


The list could go on and on. That was just what came to mind sitting here with no deep thinking. I guess I feel guilty most of the time when this subject arises because I feel that external things/people put pressures on me, when in fact I believe I'm right where I'm supposed to be (always with room for improvement, of course!) I feel I do try to seize each day, and be thankful TO GOD (an important aspect of thankfulness that's often overlooked) for all those little and big things.

But, I do know that last year when I was depressed, nothing anyone said or did made me thankful. When someone told me, "be thankful you're not in Japan with the tsunami", all it did was make me feel more guilty. It didn't help me change my perspective in the least. When I felt physically better, my attitude changed on it's own. I guess that's why motivating posters always kind of get on my nerves. Do they actually ever work? Maybe for other personality types they do, but I "just do it" without someone else telling me to.

I guess I'm a pretty positive, self-motivated person overall, and some people aren't so much so, either in personality or in their place in life. Some people feel the world owes them a favor, or that they have some entitlement that the rest of us are not privy to. For those people, I can see how this thankfulness trend is useful and necessary. But for normal folk like me, suck it up and live!

It's getting late, so my thoughts are sort of getting rambly...nighty night!

Our big little Lukey

You know how when you were a kid (and even today, perhaps, although you aren't as ready to admit it) when you want something, you just have to have it? For no apparent reason, and that desire doesn't go away until the "need" is met?

Well, this young boy wanted slippers. He couldn't tell me why, or what kind, or where we should get them. Just that he wanted some.

I tried to push the notion aside, considering he used to have a pair that never got worn and I just tripped on them the majority of the time. He wanted them for Christmas last year, and I stalled. Tried to convince him that something else would be more fun, more useful. To no avail. Every now and then he'd ask, "Mom, can I get some slippers?" or "I'd really like some slippers."














So, this Christmas we were shopping, actually his brother and sister were shopping and we (he and I) were trying to avoid them so they could find something for him. We came across these Lightning McQueen slippers. I asked him if those were the kind he'd like. An excited, "YES!" He proudly carried them around the store until it was time to check out, and then was happy to wrap them up for himself and save them for Christmas. When he opened them up, he slipped them on and wears them faithfully every day! I was proven wrong!

Sometimes it seems like kids just want everything, so knowing what to get and what to pass by sometimes meld together. But, this time, the thoughts didn't fade away and I'm glad we could make this young man so happy!

Every Chef Needs One of These

I love all my kids dearly, but for different reasons. Today I'm going to write about James, and one of the traits that I love about him. Pretty much every day, he gets quite excited about every meal. He is my least picky kid, whose favorite food often is avocados. Sometimes hot dogs though too.

A common occurrence happened the other day, which I'll relate and you'll realize why every cook needs one of these boys around. The conversation went something like this:
Me: Supper-time! (the kids obediently come running, haha)
James: Mmm, I love supper.
Me: You don't even know what we're having.
James: I know, but I just know it'll be good!
Me: Well, I hope you're not disappointed.
After he starts eating, in a very sing-song voice, "Mm-mm, I was right, it is good!"

Often he'll say, "this is the best ____ in the whole world" or "this is the best supper I have ever eaten" or the other day for lunch "mmm, I love egg salad, it's my favorite" and then the next day, "mmm, I love tuna, it's my favorite". This kid just loves whatever food you make him!

Today though, my hopes were kind of dashed (after I was all puffed up from all his compliments) and he says to me (while eating yogurt, thankfully)

James (4): "Mom, do you know who makes the best spaghetti in the world (no 'r' pronounced)?
Me: "Umm, me?" (hoping)
James: "No, Kristie does!"
Augh...the audacity of my own child! I'd better get that recipe from her now too! I guess pride goeth before a fall, hey?

"Before I Formed Thee in the Womb....."

My friend Emmy wrote this and posted it on Facebook. She gave me permission to share it.

"Before I formed thee in the womb I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and ordained thee a prophet unto the nations."Jer 1:5

"I was thinking tonight about when life begins, does it begin like so many people in our culture believe when a baby has been delivered from the womb and is free and independent of the mother's body? Does it begin at conception, when a sperm and egg meet and are safely implanted in the mother's uterus? Or does it begin in the heart and mind of the Creator? If an artist were to create a master piece where would we say it originated? If we tore up his canvas and destroyed his brushes can you imagine his frustration at having this desire to create and seeing his lovely creation in his mind's eye and but being unable to ever form it and see it become a reality?

Burdette and I spent a season of our lives thinking and praying about this very thing. We didn't want to feel trapped, having many children that we didn't really appreciate or know how to properly care for. We also didn't want to be deceived by the culture or an ungodly world view. We could not seem to get away from the verses in the word that say that God knew us before we were even formed (Psalm 139:16) or even while we were still in our father's loins (Hebrews 7:9-10). They spoke so clearly to us that people are God's creation, that it wasn't about our physical bodies but about our willingness to be a vessel for the Lord to create a living soul, a child that he would give us the wisdom and grace to care for if we would trust him. As far as providing for their physical needs we believed His promises that He even cares for the sparrows and that He has yet to see the righteous forsaken or his seed begging for bread. We both had the testimonies of our fathers as well, who were honest, hard working men. They did not have college degrees or an earthly inheritance with which to raise us but they trusted the Lord and although Burdette's parents had 16 children and mine had 15 children we never lacked the things we needed. In fact we did not lack anything and both had happy childhoods, never even realizing the things we did not have because we had the important things that make children content.

My children and I were talking tonight about the Israelites in Egypt and how God multiplied them so greatly that Pharaoh became afraid and ordered the midwives to kill the boy babies. But the midwives would not obey and despite what the Egyptians would do to the Israelites God blessed them with health and children. Then I was thinking of all the blessings of the Lord through out the old testament and how many, many times he told his people that if they would obey him he would bless them with among other things fruitful wombs. (Duet 7:12-16, Isaiah 49:19-20, Jer 31:27 and 33:21, Ezekiel 36:37-38 and 36:10, Zach`2:4) Just to name a few! Also if you look up barrenness you will find that it was given as a curse.

I think it is sad that so many believers have taken a curse upon themselves and turned away God's blessings. What if the Israelites had thought, "This life is too horrible, I mean we are slaves! Why bring more slaves into the world? We better figure out a way to prevent pregnancy." God would not have had his large, healthy, victorious people to lead out of Egypt! I'm going to be like the midwives in Egypt. I'm going to refuse to obey the wisdom of this world that says to me that God's blessing is a curse and that I should destroy my children and prevent future generations from even existing. Instead I will pray that God will bless us and our children and if the world stands, our children's children with fruitful wombs and hearts that see God's gifts as good.

A while ago I heard one of our ministers read from Psalm 127 and he said he did a word study on the third verse. He said the word heritage in this verse means a heirloom, something precious and valuable that we would pass on from generation to generation. Isn't that beautiful? "Except the Lord build the house, they labor in vain that build it, except the Lord keep a city, the watchman waketh but in vain......Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows in the hand of a mighty man, so are the children of the youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate." If any of you haven't thought about birth control from a spiritual stand point I would encourage you to read Nancy Campbell's book Be Fruitful and Multiply. It is full of scripture and rather than being legalistic I think it is very freeing. All of my love and good will, Emmy"

A little girl with a small family said in the Above Rubies magazine that I subscribe to, to her friend with a large family, "your family seems complete, mine feels like there's people missing." What insight! How it isn't about us anymore when we commit to have taken up our cross and followed Him. It's about souls for Christ. What better way to win souls for Christ than to increase the numbers in His army? My will, my dreams, and my desires fade in comparison with what my Master has in store for me when I seek His will to run ALL areas of my life. Yikes, that's a tall order!

Readers, readers everywhere

Unable to put a finger on it, I have been thinking about readers (aka: those who read books, and books and books) and not sure where my thoughts should go because I was not really sure of where my thoughts had been. So, in some deliberate pondering, I came up with a few things. This topic has surfaced, because our oldest child is sure to be a reader. He LOVES books. He's taken off with reading, and, as his mother, I wanted to know how much I should encourage reading, and how much to set boundaries on it. Let me explain.

I grew up in a family of readers. My Dad has always loved historical books, non-fictional. He read us all kinds of history books, and still reads mountains of them today. He did go through a hiatus from them one time, and read the TinTin books quite thoroughly (after which he'd dream about adventures with Captain Haddock and relive them at breakfast each morning, much to our amusement!) My Mom loves biographies and health/nutritional books. My older sister read everything, mostly girls fiction though. She read and read and read. Every summer she would win the reading contest at the library, after checking out stacks and stacks of books. My mom would have to vouch to the librarian that she actually DID read them. My brother read everything too. He mostly read non-fiction. Things like the encyclopedias A-Z, the dictionary, manuals for machines, and of course lots of The Adventures of Tin Tin too. It wasn't uncommon for our whole family to be reading all those long winter evenings. Except me and my littlest sister would be reading Archie comics as our form of increasing our knowledge of the world.

Many of our friends were readers too, which got on my nerves because the girls would always rather read than play with me. And if they did want to play, it was to reenact scenes from books that of course I hadn't read. *du-mb* (my kid opinion) As I was explaining this predicament to my husband the other day, he summed it up, "so, you have a bias against readers because they shafted you as a child". Yep, that pretty much says it! One of my cousins also mentioned to me (as an adult) that when she visited our house as a child, my sister had her nose in a book the whole time she visited, leaving her feeling like she (my sister) didn't really care to have visitors. I don't want that to be my child in a few years, so am wondering how to strike that balance in my own kids.

In the book, First Born Advantage, Dr. Kevin Leman explains how many first born children are book lovers. He says that they attach themselves to books to avoid being hurt by people. (I can't remember why he says they do this, or what to do about it, but have found this if often true) Books don't betray. Books are less work than relationships. You can 'drop out' if you don't like what's going on, unlike real life. Because of this, many avid readers have a Pollyanna view to life, and have a much harder time dealing with reality. Because, in the real world relationships are hard work. Husbands don't come riding in on a white horse but instead are sinful human nature like ourselves. Real kids get dirty faces and behave unexpectedly much of the time. Wives in real life don't wear a flowered apron and always have a sunshiny disposition with endless energy and freshly baked cookies on the counter. (at least not in this house) But in books, you can choose what you want life to be. Loving reading is a great gift, but one that also needs discretion.

Another thought that sparked interest in me recently was a quote from a lady in a magazine I subscribe to. She was listing bits of advice for young ladies seeking wife-hood and later motherhood. She said, "I wish I had spent more time learning about how life works than having my nose buried in a book all those teenage years". I know of one man who ruined his eyes reading by the streetlight because his parents had removed his lightbulbs at night so he wouldn't stay up ALL night reading (when he had school the next day). He also read from the light that came under his bedroom door. I DO NOT want this to happen.

So, to close I still wonder- how much should a child read? How do you limit reading (if you need to) yet still encouraging a love for books? How do you censor what books your child reads (without reading them all yourself)? And at what age do you do this? Any thoughts are welcome.















Luke wearing his new hat and pj's, while reading his new book "Squanto" that he got from Auntie B for Christmas.

new option

I think I've finally figured out how to get the blog sent to your email if desired. On the top right, above our picture, you can now sign up. Let me know if you know of a better way, as I'm not so savvy in that area.

Tribute to Uncle Cliff/Ain't it funny how a smell can bring back a memory?

It all started with my chapstick fetish that I have. Over the years I accumulated dozens of those little tubes, and then one day said, "this is ridiculous" and vowed to use them up before I bought one more. Mind you, this was very difficult to do as buying chapstick is one of my biggest vices (in the material sense). So, since we've moved to WA, I have not bought any, but continued to use up the ones in my stash (which was overflowing profusely). Last spring I realized that my stash was empty. Completely and honestly empty. And I was using Lipsmackers Amethyst Grape (my least favorite kind of the lot, so it got left until last). Now, being the frugal person that I am, I couldn't bear to pay full price to replenish my supply, so I headed down to my favorite liquidation store Prospector's, as I knew they'd have some of what I needed. Bingo- they did! So, I rifled through their stash (at $0.25 a piece, mostly) and found a handful of brand new tubes in reliable brands in reliable flavors. There's nothing quite like getting a gross kind, in my opinion.

So, over the next few months I began using them. One in the car, one in my purse. One on the nightstand, you get the picture. Then I happened to open one and got not quite what I was expecting...in a good way. I opened a ChapStick original (you know, the pink kind with the black label, the most boring yet reliable flavor in the world?!) and the smell just hit me. It took me right back to being a kid and riding in my Uncle Cliff's truck home from church with him and using his black chapstick (while checking out all the other cool things in a bachelor uncle's truck).

Uncle Cliff (Staudinger) was my Dad's oldest brother. He would turn 70 this year in April, but died at age 47 from esophageal cancer. He was the only sibling that never married, thus spoiled us nieces and nephews quite nicely. He was a farmer, and prior to that drove a car carrier for many years (he would be my boys hero if he still was around and did that for a living!) He lived 3 miles from us, and did our farming for us since my Dad had a business to run in those days. We loved riding in the tractor with him or playing in the grain of the grain truck while the bed was dumping out the grain as it was unloading. (Mom hated that we did it because barley has burrs that would stick to our clothes and wouldn't come out very well), but Uncle Cliff let us. He would always ask us, "so, what did you learn in school today?" to which we'd reply, "nothing" and he'd answer, "well, I don't see much sense in going if you don't learn anything!" We still had to go though!

He had 6 vehicles, all of which were licensed and he drove regularly. 3 cars and 3 trucks. At his house you could jump on the bed endlessly and twirl the glass chandelier (in the guest room) all up and then let it go so it spilled fancy light shapes all over the room and no one minded. We never had to wear seatbelts when we rode with him (it wasn't the law in Alberta back then, but Mom made us anyhow).

The day he was diagnosed with cancer, I remember all too well. We were eating supper when we got the phone call. We had spinach that night, which was hard enough to choke down on a good day, and then after that gut wrenching news, was impossible to get down. I was barely 14, having a rough year starting high school anyhow, and that didn't help the problem. He had surgery, but there was one area in his stomach that wouldn't heal up, so he remained in the hospital on TPN (total parenteral nutrition via IV) since he couldn't eat. He was in the hospital probably 5 months when he then went home to my Grandpa and Grandma's house for care. He still thought he'd get better, but by then the cancer had spread to his liver. He was amazingly optimistic, but lost alot of weight and in the end was very jaundiced. He never pitied himself for being sick, but instead looked on the positives namely 1) he was living in this world and a certain number of people get cancer, and he happened to be one of them. 2) he was single, so if he died, he was glad that he wouldn't be leaving a widow or fatherless children as any of his siblings would have been 3) he was a Christian and would spend eternity with his Savior.

The biggest guilt I have ever held in my life, happened the week he died. It was a huge burden, and it took many years before I even had the courage to mention it to anyone, to lighten the load of guilt. Our whole family was over at my grandparents for dinner (all the cousins, aunts and uncles, etc), so us kids were asked to stay outside since Cliff was so weak. Right before we were to go home for the day, I ran inside to use the bathroom. Cliff was sitting in a recliner and said "hi, Rachel" as I ran by. I didn't want to see him looking so sickly, so I kept running calling "hi" over my shoulder as I ran. I could tell he wanted me to stop, but I ran right back outside and we went home. On the way home, I started to feel bad for not stopping and giving him a hug or small amount of my time. I realized that even though he looked so sick, he was still the same person inside. I vowed that next time we saw him, I'd spend time with him, even though it was hard. That was Sunday, and he passed away on Tuesday. I never got that chance. It was probably 5 years before I told anybody about it, and became bitter not only because of my own ignorance, but because of my selfish notions at age 14 about death. Why did I have to lose him? (not even caring that my Dad lost his brother, or my grandparents lost their child) It was all about me. It took a long time to heal due to my teenage selfish thoughts. In nursing school we studied death and dying, and I learned alot and vowed that if I ever faced death again, I would be open and honest and not hold all those feelings and emotions inside. Little did I know I'd be faced with the death of my 2 cousins the very next year. Healing that time was much more smooth and healthy even though their deaths were unexpected and tragic.

I seem to be veering away from the topic, but that's where my thoughts have gone today. I am thankful for the time with my Uncle Cliff, and after he died, my Grandpa told me "you were his favorite niece". I took that as a great compliment, and later found out why. When my parents moved back to Alberta from the Northwest Territories, we moved in with Cliff until we found a place to live. I was about 18 months old, and he and I became best friends. He'd tease me and I'd laugh, I'd tease him back. It went like that my whole life and he always called me his "Wascally Wabbit" (Rascally Rabbit).

So there it is, all over a little tube of ChapStick Original that I found at Prospector's!

Sleep, Glorious Sleep

I've posted about sleep in the past with previous kids, and since I still remain baffled, I'm going to "vent" again. First of all, I have to say that baby #4 (Isaac) is overall a very *good* baby. I use that term loosely, because it doesn't mean that other babies are bad, per se, but that they just are harder to figure out and harder to please. He's overall predictable and keeps a pretty consistent routine.

Since I discovered babywearing 4 months into Elise's life, it became a world of difference in happy baby vs. fussy baby. My back felt way better, and my baby cried way less; so how can you complain when Mom and baby are both happy? She still didn't sleep better, but I could at least get something done while she fussed, or else she fussed less because Mom was holding her, even if she was tired. With Isaac, I started babywearing from the start. I used a wrap, then have been gradually working towards a maitei and Ergo as he's gotten older. He sleeps wonderfully in them, right next to Mom. If he starts to wake up, then I just jiggle him up and down and he drifts back off (usually 1 hour in the morning, 1-2 hours in the afternoon). This created a very happy baby, because he got proper naps. The problem is now starting where he's 4 months old and getting very heavy, even though the carriers are awesome. And...I'd like to get a break when he naps (to give my other kids some attention mostly, but also occasionally to lay down and rest). So, I've began trying to train him to sleep on his own, which is going well....umm...we'll see in time.

What I'm figuring is wrong is that he goes through one sleep cycle, slightly rouses, and then wakes up when he's not ready to get up yet. (after 20 min or so) Then 10 minutes later he starts fussing because he's still tired. But not tired enough to go back to sleep yet because of his previous "pikku nukkua" (my dad's Finn words for "little sleep"). When he's in the carrier, my jiggling him gets him through that stage back into deep sleep again. So, I'm trying to teach him to do that on his own, and am not sure how exactly that is done!

According to "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley (which, by the way, is my best recommendation for sleep books) she says that is likely what is happening, and keeping them asleep is the key. She claims about 1 week of doing this every nap should do the trick. So, I have to sit by him as he sleeps and then when he starts to rouse, quickly get him back to sleep. Today I've done that, and he slept 1 1/2 hours the first time and is now sleeping going on 40 minutes (yay!) The trouble has been figuring out how to get him back to sleep, as he doesn't take a pacifier very well, and nursing him creates burps that wake him up in a few minutes too. Today I just jiggled him until he settled again (about 5 minutes) and that seemed to work.

So, I'm hoping we're on the right track. I think my main frustration is not knowing how long to try something before putting the kibosh on it and trying something new. Usually I just go around in circles and never get anywhere but then the baby gets bigger and the problem finally solves itself. But, that would mean another 8 months of this until he's 1, and I'd really like to not go there if I don't have to!

Anyhow, he's awake and he's pleasant, so I'll close.

BTW, the books I've read are:
-The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley (recommend)
-Nighttime Parenting by Dr. Sears (recommend)
-The Happiest Baby on the Block by Dr. Harvey Karp (recommend)
-Sleeping Through the Night by Jodi Mindell (various cry it out methods, don't recommend)
-The Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg (can't remember it being helpful at all)
-On Becoming Babywise by Gary Ezzo (tried it, but couldn't make it work for us with #1 & #3 kid)