Thankful hearts

Today I'm writing 2 blogs, not because I'm so inspired, but because 2 things are on my mind, and I have the time. Lately as pregnancy has progressed, I've gotten physically more uncomfortable and do like to bemoan this fact. I like to have a bit of pity (as we all do, right?) and anyone with kids knows that it does get rather uncomfortable near the end. That's our motivation to get that baby out of there when the time comes, I believe. Anyways, a couple days ago my hips were hurting everytime I walked or layed down, and I couldn't sleep for the baby was wiggling so much that I was getting rather frustrated with it all. I jumped on facebook and found that a couple who was due 2 days after me had just lost their baby. Wow! I hadn't thought about that in a while. I know it happens, but it's rare and after the first trimester, usually we're in the clear. But that really hit home. So now instead of complaining when my wiggling baby is still wiggling at 1 am, I try to be thankful he/she is alive and has the ability. And when my belly is getting so big that my boys can't sit on my lap, I try to be thankful as that means the baby is growing as it should. It's so easy to lose perspective, but it seems there are ways of getting it back real quick too. Keep this family in your prayers, as this is a very difficult time for them. (I don't know them personally, but have 2 friends who do)

Spring??

My thoughts have wandered today to the coming of spring. What does this mean? My eldest boy keeps asking me "is it spring yet?" and I have to keep answering "No, but it's coming soon". That's at least what the calendar says, and my crocuses are blooming. So I hope so. For me as a child spring meant Easter morning. The sun shining, our nicest dresses (and a picture if we weren't late for church), and that smell of wet dirt that has been sitting under the snow all winter. It also meant baby calves, rafting in our very dirty pond made from the runoff of the melting snow, catching tadpoles and hoping we could raise some frogs but they always died first, Easter vacation (yes, it was called that, not the modern "spring break") spent with cousins either at our place or theirs. Hmm. We have none of that stuff here. The temperature just warms up a couple degrees, if we're lucky the sun shines more, and eventually the leaves will appear on the trees (the indicator I used to tell my boy he'll know it's spring). And...this year our new baby will be here (spring better get here by then, April 23). I'm thankful for winter and the coziness it brings, but come this time of year, I think we all are ready for warmth and that refreshing word - Spring!!

Three vs Two

Yesterday I was asked the question if having 3 kids is going to be harder than 2. Well, as of yet, I don't know the answer but can only guess it will be yes. When home, I'm thinking 3 will be easier, as I have a almost-4 year old to help me. Run errands, keep an eye on the 2 yr old mischief maker, and help with chores. He doesn't do that much, but what he does he does well and it helps my day run smoother. But out in town and on errands, I do wonder how I'll manage 3. Yesterday also, trying to steer 2 little ones was a challenge across the parking lot, how will I do it with not as many arms as children. But I conclude that many people have way more than 3 kids, so I know it can be done. Training and discipline are the first steps I suppose and then guardian angels for when your eyes can't be everywhere at once. I'm excited for our new baby to get here, but then also not ready as that is when 24 hour duty also starts and I have always felt like I'm a 911 operator responding to cries of help at all hours of the day and night for the first few months. Time will sort it all out, and we Moms are made for adaptability. As soon as we get used to "normal", it changes and requires a new "normal".

The Cat Conundrum

Since living in the Pacific Northwest, we've had a variety of experiences. The first one in this series, I'll call the Mouse Massacre. Let's just say about a month before J was born, we discovered many traces of these little creatures in every nook and cranny of our house. This involved a major cupboard cleaning (at 8 months pregnant, you can picture reaching into the back of my furthest most cupboards). We trapped 8, I think, and then my dear husband sprayed foam insulation into every crevice he could find. Thankfully, we haven't had any since, and hope it remains that way. The next in the series could be labelled the Chipmunk Chorus, as we thought there was only one, until we found 2, then 3 and 4 and finally 5 (I think it was that were finally eliminated). Chipmunks are cute little guys, or so I thought. This little one would come eat peanuts off the deck railing, and the boys loved watching his antics. That is until he got in the house one day last summer when a screen was left open. Then, not so cute when he's under my stove and won't come out. We (L and I) finally steered him out the laundry room, with a detour behind the washer and dryer for a while. After that we decided he needed to go. So, dear husband again was called upon for annialation. He eventually killed 5 of them, and we decided they are cute someplace else. The latest excitement (if you can call it that) has been a noise under the house that we always hear early in the morning. After investigation we found out that one of the vents under the house was broken out, so now we just needed to figure out who broke it, and if the animal was inside or out. We got a live trap, and last night around midnight the trap went off. So, G & I lay there wondering what to do. Do we (him mostly) want to deal with a possum or raccoon at this hour, or do we want to leave it in the trap until morning, with the possible sounds keeping us awake. So, we wait and listen to the noises, and then decide to trudge outside (myself only for moral support, and the flashlight holder) and find an empty trap. The noises sounded definitely cat-like which is a relief, but also a pain, because we didn't catch it. We don't want to seal the hole if the cat has kittens under the house, but if it's catching mice, that might not be such a bad thing. Anyways, we'll see what happens tonight...wish us luck.

The Case of the White Dresser

In an attempt to make my spare room more useable (and nice looking at the same time), I decided that I needed a dresser. I really was open to anything that would fit in the space, for the right price, but also secretly hoped that it would look decent. So, one day on my way to Longview, I saw one outside an antique store in Kalama. After stopping to examine it and ask the price, I decided this one would work perfect. It was old, sturdy, in very good condition and within my price range. Since I was in a hurry, I told the lady that I'd pick it up on my way home when I had some cash and more time. She said fine, since it was a rainy Thursday in October, likely there wouldn't be anyone else wanting it. I headed back home in the afternoon, and since the dresser was still there 1/2 hr before G came through with his truck, I passed by so that he could do the heaving to get it home, rather than trying to cram it in the van somehow. But....when he came through a while later, the dresser was gone. Sold. When I talked to the lady of the shop, she said she had tried to talk a woman out of buying it (as she knew I was coming back), but since I hadn't left a down payment or name and number, she ended up having to sell it. How discouraging. Those thoughts had flitted across my mind, but I thought, "who would be shopping for the same kind of dresser as me on a rainy Thursday in Kalama?" Anyways, since then I've been on a mission to find myself one, of the same caliber and price. I've scoured craigslist, ads, antique stores, and found nothing near my price range. I was about to give up when last week I was at a Goodwill and low and behold there is something that caught my eye. Turns out the bottom drawer is broken, but it also helped me barter to get the price lower, and my dear husband said it'll be no problem to fix. All in all, I think I got the better deal (less than half of the original dresser price) and sturdy, white, fits-in-the-space and will meet my needs for years to come. Yay!! I guess patience (whether planned or forced) is a virtue that is worth having. I often wonder.

Something inspiring??

I wish I could write a bit more often, but it seems lately nothing interesting nor inspiring has come to mind. And since humor is not usually part of my day, unfortunately, I can't even tell a funny story. As my sister in law K mentioned on facebook the other day, once in a while something funny comes out of her mouth by accident, but that's about it. Same here. I feel that this is the area of my marriage I would most love to improve on, since it brightens many a day. The other night our family went to a birthday party, and many good friends were there (aka: a good audience). My husband told humorous stories the whole night, and had the guys laughing around the table the whole evening we were there. I hadn't seen him laugh like that in a very long time and it made me happy to see him so happy, but also sad that I cannot help him fulfill that aspect of life. I guess we need to spend more time with those people who bring out that side of him, since there are many areas where he doesn't feel that comfortable to be himself. I pondered for many years how to be more funny, but finally concluded that I just don't have it in me. I'll be the listener to the jokes and tales, because if everyone were the funny one, then there is no one to listen. And the person to make G laugh the most is his brother, and there is absolutely no way I could ever try to match him in the humor dept. So, I'll just settle for who I am, and invite people over who make my husband laugh so that he can get his quota regularly.

Monday challenge

So today one of the things on my "to do" list was to put a new zipper in an article of clothing that needed one. It's a favorite that can't be replaced, so after putting it off for a year or so now, I am supposed to be doing that right now. Thinking back, I haven't put a zipper in anything since high school home ec, so am in a way looking forward to the challenge, and on the other hand dreading the potential results. After I decided that it was time to actually tackle this project, the zipper handle broke off my favorite hoodie sweatshirt, and either needs a zipper or replacement. Hmm. If it goes good today, I'll attempt it, but if it's a disaster, a new sweatshirt may be in order. This is the time in my life where I actually have time to do all these projects that willingly wait for me to get to them. My kids are old enough they can entertain themselves for quite a while, it's winter and we're inside anyways, and my organization is at one of it's better stages overall. (my house is not clean, by any stretch of the imagination, but could be easily if I wanted it to be). I'm trying to catch up on all those things that have been waiting, because once the new baby gets here, that stage will be over for a couple more years, I'm sure. (I've done babybooks, organized all clothes, hopechest, cleaned all my kitchen appliances, filed all papers, etc.) Now all I need is a dresser for the spare room so I can put away all that I've organized. I'll close now and get my littlest kiddo for nap so I can attempt the dreaded zipper insertion. Later...

"My Utmost for His Highest" by Oswald Chambers

A warning which needs to be repeated is that "the cares of this world and the deceitfulness of riches," and the lust for other things, will choke out the life of God in us (Matthew 13:22). We are never free from the recurring waves of this invasion. If the frontline of attack is not about clothes and food, it may be about money or the lack of money; or friends or lack of friends; or the line may be drawn over difficult circumstances. It is one steady invasion, and these things will come in like a flood, unless we allow the Spirit of God to raise up the banner against it.

"I say to you, do not worry about your life . . . ." Our Lord says to be careful only about one thing-our relationship to Him. But our common sense shouts loudly and says, "That is absurd, I must consider how I am going to live, and I must consider what I am going to eat and drink." Jesus says you must not. Beware of allowing yourself to think that He says this while not understanding your circumstances. Jesus Christ knows our circumstances better than we do, and He says we must not think about these things to the point where they become the primary concern of our life. Whenever there are competing concerns in your life, be sure you always put your relationship to God first.

"Sufficient for the day is its own trouble" (Matthew 6:34). How much trouble has begun to threaten you today? What kind of mean little demons have been looking into your life and saying, "What are your plans for next month— or next summer?" Jesus tells us not to worry about any of these things. Look again and think. Keep your mind on the "much more" of your heavenly Father (Matthew 6:30).

Marriage thoughts

I was recently asked what makes a happy marriage, and although I know what some of the 'secrets' are deep down, to actually write them down is harder. I would say 1) the Golden Rule (treat your spouse as you want to be treated in all things) 2) forgive sins before they ever admit them or ask 3) don't be selfish (everytime G or I have difficulties it all comes down to selfishness on one or usually both of our parts) 4) if you need a hug, cuddle, etc. ask for it. Don't assume your spouse knows these things because they can't read your mind. 5) Seek Godly wisdom from the Bible and respected elders who've been happily married for years (decades would be better) 6) Be the first to make things right. 7) Don't discuss 'hot' topics when you are tired, irritated, stressed, etc. That only makes things worse. Wait until you are well rested and not in the heat of the moment as we all tend to say things we'll regret. 8) Do what is best for your marriage (not what your parents, inlaws, etc. think is best), and don't share unnecessary information about your marriage with people other than your spouse. It may feel like venting, but isn't putting the best construction on your spouse (would you like it if they did that about you?) 9) Never use your spouses weak areas to your own gain. When we marry and live with someone, we quickly learn what their weaknesses are (as they do for us). To use these as tools in a disagreement is lower than polititians do to each other, and is never acceptable. To end, I'll quote my favorite quote from Ravi Zacharias, "there is never a good enough reason to be unkind to one another".

Enjoying relaxing with my sweetie. One of the favorite things to do of all time.

A couple of my favorite pictures of the boys in Florida

One day at a time

Just a few days later, and glad to report that today is going well. Still haven't figured out the kid things, but at least I feel a bit more ready to tackle the challenges when they arise. This comes from 1) encouragement from God (through His Word and church) 2) encouragement from my husband 3) encouragement from friends who patiently listen and sympathize without letting me carry things out too far 4) a hot bath, a cup of tea, a chunk of dark chocolate, sunshine through the windows and those other little perks that lift you up so much when you need a lift. I have been getting some long put off projects done as well, which helps me feel like things are going forwards in some areas, even if not in others. I think the biggest fear I have right now, is that I'll end up with nursing/food/sleep issues with new baby like we went through with J, and I can't even think of that without shuddering. Luckily we don't know the future, and likely I'll be faced with a whole new set of challenges, but at this point have a hard time looking at all into the future and thinking of what life will be like with a new baby, as the thoughts themselves overwhelm me. The nightmares we've gone through with J are still too fresh in my mind (and far from solved as well). "One day at a time, sweet Jesus, that's all I'm asking of you, Give me the strength, to do every day, what I have to do," I try to sing to myself and it helps. That is all God asks, that we trust Him one day at a time.

A New Year, not so new thoughts

Wow! I didn't realize how long it's been since I've written on here, but have felt very uninspired lately and am trying to figure it all out. I haven't ever (in my life that I can recall) felt like this before, and I think alot has to do with pregnancy hormones. Excess of certain ones and depletion of others that I am used to having around in my body. I'm hoping that this produces a baby girl (as that is what many people have told me about being pregnant with girls), so that the feelings and lack of feelings that are abiding with me will end here in a few months. Who knows though. It's also winter, after a wonderful vacation, and my boys have been driving me crazy with their lack of discipline (which is my fault, I know, but I haven't had the energy to deal with). I do wonder though, (to those of you with older children)...how much dawdling should be allowed, and how much should not? How much do you let them make their own choices (at 3 yrs old) and how much do you make them abide by yours? I guess it's probably a lifetime of finding that medium ground, but I wish there was an easier answer. I hate nagging or being a drill seargent, and do know in theory how this whole thing SHOULD work, but can't seem to make it happen. I'd love to get things under control before new baby shows up, as I know spanking kids while you're nursing a baby is rather difficult but just can't seem to figure it all out. Do they need more attention or less? Do they need more of their own choices or less (to learn who is boss)? Do they need a nap or will we pay more if they don't take one. Do I give them less food so I don't have to nag them to eat, and then hear them whine because "I'm hungry, I want a snack" all afternoon? And how come both kids cannot sleep through the night on the same night. Just once, would be nice. J finally started (again for the millionth time) sleeping all night, and what do you know: L is up then every night and although doesn't "need" me, has to wake me to tell me he has to go to the bathroom. So now, L is sleeping all night again and J is up 1-4 times (more molars) They'll likely finish coming in about the end of April right when I can't sleep because of pregnancy discomfort or the baby actually gets here. Anyways, I'll close before I get too whiny. Life is good, and the boys do make me laugh most of the day...it's just that for many months I haven't felt myself, and that is rather frustrating since I am not able to be who I want to be (I'd love to have over some company, but can't seem to make it happen), and also have been way more emotional than I care to admit. I'm chalking it up to hormones at this point, and will let you know in about May if things have changed. I'll finish with a cute thing Luke said the other day. We were having "Show and Tell" at Sunday School and he was telling about finding seashells on the beach on our Florida trip. The one teacher asked him, "Did God make those seashells?" and he answered, "No, they were just sitting there."