Tipping Tactics

In our house, there is one thing that in 6 years of marriage, my husband and I have not been able to agree completely on. Part of it is because of my Canadian heritage, part of it is just that I'm cheap and expect good service. And that subject (if you haven't guessed by now) is how much to tip.

Greg's point of view is to tip the standard 15%, unless something is extremely good or bad, and then accordingly from there. I tend to disagree. I say tip better if service is better, and less if mediocre, every time. If someone always gets a 15% tip, does that encourage the employee to go above and beyond their normal job requirements? (I say "no" in most cases). If a lesser tip would encourage an employee to work better/harder to please the customer, would we get better service? Isn't that what tipping is all about anyways? If it's not, then why don't they just tack 15% onto the menu prices and then you don't have to worry about it. Or pay their employees more? That would make sense to me.

Anyways, I saw this cartoon, and thought it might give me another valid reason to tip less (unless service is extraordinaire). The Canada part of this lesson is that in Canada, waiters/waitresses make ordinary wages, so tipping is completely optional. You don't have to "guilt tip" if the service is terrible. And that's the way I think it should be. But...when in Rome, I'll do as the Romans...even if I don't agree. (We actually have finally agreed that whoever pays does the tipping, so Greg always tries to pay so that I don't embarrass him by my minuscule tips).
PS if the cartoon doesn't show, you can view it here http://www.reverendfun.com/?date=20040115

Superheroes

I have a dear great aunt, who makes "lid dolls" for every baby she knows about. In the picture, J is holding one of them. She has at least 100 nieces and nephews, most of which also have children (200-300+ maybe), and every new baby gets a lid doll. The kids love to play with him in the bath, and the other day I was informed that "Lid Man" (as he's known in this house) is good friends with Spiderman, Batman and Superman. I do wonder what kind of adventures they go on; Lid Man in his cumbersome gear trying to keep up with his sleek, sneaky friends saving the world. Maybe someday at bath time I'll delve into that and see what stories the kids come up with.

Here's a video of E that I took yesterday. She was supposed to be napping, but L kept going in the room "to make her happy". It worked. There is definitely no better sound than a laughing baby. Makes my job worthwhile!

Word of the Day

The buzzword lately in our house has been "babywearing". As you know from my prior post, I've been introduced to a whole new world of baby comfort and lingo. Gone are my store bought uncomfortable gadgets, here's a picture of the latest maitei that I sewed up. (which differs from a meitei, an alcoholic beverage ;)

I wanted a nice chocolate brown color fabric, but there wasn't any on sale, so I found this olive stuff instead. I also was looking for something neutral so that Greg would wear it without too much embarrassment. It turned out just perfect (I made some adjustments from the previous one), so may do some more if I get enthused ($$$ always gets the motivation up, doesn't it, so maybe I could advertise with my friends)

Mr. Bear modeling the maitei. I had to add the embellishment as you couldn't tell tell the outside from the inside, other than the neater stitching on the front.











L modeling his "boy version" of a baby carrier. It's a measuring tape carrying a monster truck. I love the creativity the boys come up with. We'll see what having a girl brings. So far just pink, but I'm sure we'll expand on that.

Days Around Here

Lately I've been a bit short on blog topics. It seems our life up here on the hill has been pretty mundane overall (thus the oral hygiene topic, etc). With 3 small children, life does not get very exciting, unless you are making ER visits or sailing the globe. Two things we hope to not be doing in the near future. Well, sailing the globe would be an adventure, but probably would get old pretty fast, considering how much water is in the Pacific Ocean.

Pleasure in life instead consists of the little things, which are things such as these:
-eating a meal through without getting up from the table more than 5 times.
-getting up and having at least a few minutes of quiet to start the day
-getting all the laundry done in one day (not having to empty last weeks baskets to use this week)
-having supper ready when your husband gets home from work, and not having to clear the past meals dishes off the table.

You get the point. So here's a few pictures of our daily life. The first one is our wonderful new wood stove. We absolutely love it, and don't know how we survived without it. L still is a huge help at getting wood (if he can reach the pile) and faithfully fulfills his duty each day.














This next one is the kids "cheering E up" when she awoke from her nap. The boys are quick to hear her, and both go rushing into her crib and smother her with kisses and hugs. This day she fell asleep in the carrier on our walk, so still had her hat and hoodie on.















This is my laundry last week. The kids thought it was great that I hauled them around, and played in the hampers all day. I guess the fact that they are rarely empty, gave them much opportunity to climb inside.
















E can't wait to play with the boys. She often gets smothered when she tries, but lays/sits there kicking like crazy, trying to join their excitement. Mom is pretty boring compared to two lively big brothers. But she'd rather spend most of her time safely with me, wishing she was with them. (when I put her with them, she doesn't last too many minutes, and then wants Mom again)

So that's the excitement around here these days. Keeping up with the kids, finding teachable moments each day, and taking advantage of their little sponge brains and filling them with good healthy food and information. Or at least try...that's the best we can do. :)

The Room

I pulled out the book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" to lend to a friend, and remembered this dream that the author tells, which to me is so profound. It clearly portrays what Jesus has done for us, how He sees all we do, in yet how He loves us anyways. (thanks to the Internet, I found the article and was able to copy and paste, instead of typing it all out)

This is a chapter from I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris called "A Cleansed Past: The Room".

In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features save for the one wall covered with small index-card files. They were like the ones in the libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endless in either direction, had very different headings. As I drew near the walls of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read "Girls I Have Liked." I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one. And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was. This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in every detail my memory couldn't match. A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their contents. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching. A file named "Friends" was next to one marked "Friends I Have Betrayed". The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird. "Books I Have Read," "Lies I Have Told," "Comfort I Have Given," "Jokes I Have Laughed At." Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: "Things I've Yelled at My Brothers." Others I couldn't laugh at: "Things I Have Done In Anger," "Things I Have Muttered under My Breath At My Parents." I never ceased to be surprised by the contents. Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes there were fewer than I hoped. I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I had the time in my twenty years to write each of these thousands, possibly millions, of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature.

When I pulled out the file marked "Songs I Have Listened To," I realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn't found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of music, but more by the vast amount of time I knew that file represented. When I came to a file marked "Lustful Thoughts," I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size, and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed contents. I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded. Suddenly I felt almost an animal rage. One thought dominated my mind: "No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!" In an insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn't matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I took the file at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it.

Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh. And then I saw it. The title bore "People I Have Shared the Gospel With." The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand. And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that they hurt started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the over-whelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key. But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him. No, please not Him. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus. I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn't bear to watch His response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw sorrow deeper than my own. He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read everyone? Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn't anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn't say a word. He just cried with me. Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card. "No!" I shouted, rushing to Him. All I could find to say was "No, no" as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn't be on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood. He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and continued to sign the cards. I don't think I'll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side. He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, "It is finished." I stood up, and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door. There were still cards to be written.

For sinners like you and me, there's good news: Christ paid our debt. He has covered our sins with His blood; He has forgotten the past. Purity starts today. "So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light" (Romans 13:12). Admittedly some will have more to lay aside than others--more memories, more pain, more regrets. But the past needn't determine our future. We have choices right now about how we'll live. Will we set our hearts on God and walk in His paths? "Let us behave decently," the passage in Romans continues,"...not in sexual immorality and debauchery...Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature" (Romans13:13-14). Not one of us can stand completely pure before God. We are all sinners.

But no matter how filthy the rags of our defilement may be, in a moment of true surrender the heart turned toward God loses its impurity. God clothes us in Christ's righteousness. He no longer sees our sin. He transfers Jesus' purity to us. So see yourself as God sees you~clothed in radiant white, pure, justified. Maybe you have a particular memory that continues to hound you, a memory that makes you feel unworthy of God's love and forgiveness. Don't let the past beat you up. Forget it. Don't replay that moment or any others like it. If you've repented of all those behaviors, God has promised to remember them no more (Hebrews 8:12). Move on.

A lifetime of purity awaits you.

I'm going to try to spread my blog topics a bit (well, maybe not spread, but not talk about us so much). If I find articles of interest, I'll post the links or type the story to share some of the things I appreciate.

Here's one I read the other day, that shares my philosophy on educating our children. I do enjoy this blog overall, but this entry made my day.

http://www.homemaking-cottage-blog.com/2009/11/how-environment-in-home-affects.html

Enjoy!

Teeth Tales

This evening has ended with a good long session of baby crying, as usual. I try not to get uptight, but my nerves just don't do well with it. After a tiring day, the last thing needed is an extra fussy-pants who is also overtired in yet won't sleep. So, she's in the swing right now, and I'm hoping it will convince her to sleep since I've been unable to thus far. (tried the baby massage tonight, it didn't seem to make a difference, but I will keep it up just in case it does in the future)

Tonight I'm going to write about something extremely boring and mundane. Something that needs some attention now and then, since it is so boring in yet ever so important. And that is oral hygiene.

Although I do understand the importance of good oral hygiene, I can't get all excited about the mundane tasks it requires each day. The dentists always seem to think that I (and I'm sure I'm not the only one in this category) totally overlook my responsibility as a human being, because I find teeth and everything to do with them is rather boring. The seldom times I do go to the dentist, I get in trouble for not flossing, but just can't seem to make it happen at home. I floss very seldom, so when I do, my gums always hurt, and then I have to quit after one session, to give them time to recover. When they do recover, I've forgotten that I was supposed to be faithfully flossing so then another many months go by before I remember again. Flossing just never reaches the top of the priority list.

You might say that brushing teeth doesn't really take that much time, and it's no big deal to just do it. That is true, except that I've found that I'm always in a hurry, and now that I have 2 boys' teeth to brush too, I'm even more frustrated by this daily drudgery. We got one of those fancy toothbrushes with the timer, and I hate it because I never want to brush as long as it wants me too. If my teeth are clean, why do I have to keep brushing until it beeps? (such bondage!) And then kids mouths...they are so small, and those teeth are so much smaller. And then I wonder is all the brushing and flossing worth anything, when their baby teeth are all going to fall out anyways. That makes me want to brush them even less.

Back in my nursing days, I never minded brushing my patients teeth in the nursing home, because you just popped them out of their mouth, brushed them and put them back in. Lickety split. Not so with my kiddos. Tip their head back, brush all those little nooks and crannies, floss if you really feel enthusiastic, teach them to SPIT the paste out instead of swallow (been working on that with a 2 year old for many months now), and then hope you got them all, but you never really know.

When I took L to the dentist the last time, I got the big lecture that I was an extremely neglectful parent because I hadn't brought my child in before he was 4 years old. Truthfully I wanted to wait until he was old enough to sit still and listen, and I wasn't too concerned, as we weren't having any problems. After the dentist degraded me for having so many kids, and then degraded me for not bringing L in earlier, he had nothing but glowing reports on L's teeth. "You must brush his teeth thoroughly every day" "you must eat healthy" "he has great looking teeth" etc. So even though I won't go back to that dentist due to his lack of tact most of all, I felt a teensy bit better for all that stupid effort I put into brushing my kids teeth every night. Someday they'll be able to do it themselves, the baton will be passed, and then I'll be back to just worrying about my own (if you can call my complete disinterest "worrying"). Whew.

Product Review: Charlie's Soap

My inquisitive mind never rests. If I am not trying to figure something out at all times, I'm not satisfied. So I pick things (not intentionally) that I'm not satisfied with, and try to improve on them. I don't expect perfection (ask my husband who gets frustrated with that trait more often than I care to admit), just expect a product or idea to meet my own criteria, whatever that may be.

This time around it was laundry soap/detergent. My cloth diapers needed replacing as they weren't absorbent anymore, and had an odd smell even when they were clean as clean could be. I looked on the website that makes them, and found that all the detergents I had been using were causing my problem. Every detergent I've tried was listed as "bad" for the diapers (7th Generation, Trader Joe's, All Free & Clear being the most common ones I used). They all leave a residue on the diapers making them repel water instead of absorb, as diapers are supposed to do. They recommended stripping the diapers and going to an all natural detergent/soap (namely Charlie's Soap or Allen's Naturally). I will note however, that I did know this information, but chose to ignore it as I didn't think it would really make all that much difference. Little did I know. So, I stripped the diapers and covers as instructed, which is really easy because it just meant washing them in hot water with a certain baking soda/vinegar combination and then decided to start over.

I ended up buying the Charlie's Soap, as I knew where to get it, and had read lots of great reviews about it. It turns out that I haven't gotten any miracles, but am pleasantly surprised. I have never had a laundry soap that made any difference, but with this I do notice a difference. My worn out diaper covers are now soft and work like they should (keeping wet in, not wicking out), and my diapers are way more absorbent and the smell has diappeared. The residue that was left on the inside of the washer door has disappeared, and our clothes no longer need fabric softener (even fleece blankets which normally are static city, especially in winter). I can't really say if the detergent gets the clothes cleaner, as I haven't been stain treating them prior to washing, expecting miracles. Most stains have been coming out, and only a few need retreating. Charlie's Soap instructions say that you have to wash everything at least twice to get rid of residues left from other detergents, so it's taken a while to wear and then wash everything we own to see if there is a difference. The more I use it, the more I am convinced that it is good stuff. It also has the least ingredients of any soap, and you only use a tablespoon per load, so it lasts a long time. The small size does cost a tad more ($13 for 80 loads= 0.16/load) but if you buy it bulk in 5 gallon size ($150 for 1280 loads=0.11/load) it is much cheaper than any you'll find at the regular stores. And you'll feel better knowing you're not adding to the allergy/landfill problem in this country.

www.charliesoap.com/index.asp

Accidental vs. Intentional

"God has implanted deep in the souls of parents the truth that they cannot with impunity shirk the responsibility to protect childhood and youth. There seems to be a growing tendency to shift this responsibility from the home to outside influences, such as the school and the church. Important as these outward influences are, they never can take the place of the influence of the mother and the father.” -- David O. McKay

This is a quote off a blog I like to read (Old Fashioned Motherhood on my blog list). It reminded me of an idea that I'm trying to form for a blog idea. Since it's still in the thought stages, I hope it will advance and I can elaborate on the thoughts.

I read a book last week called, "The Baby Whisperer" in hopes I can find some more sleep solutions for our family. Although most of the book was pretty generic, I did come out with a few points that I think are worth sharing. She talks alot about "accidental parenting". She says that many parents really don't ever set goals, so they never reach them, since they never set them in the first place. They end up in predicaments because they haven't looked far enough into the future to see the results of what they are doing. I think this is very valid especially as Christians, since we can't end up with the values, morals, & ethics instilled in our kids if we don't take the time to teach them what is needed. Kind of like driving. If we don't look far enough in advance, we're likely to get in an accident. We need to see where we're going, and need to do what is called "intentional parenting".

Intentional parenting (or living in general) is doing so with an ultimate goal in mind. This can involve small reachable goals each week, month and year but also lifetime goals (eg. get to heaven!) What do we need to do to get where we want to go? When I lived in AZ I used to listen to Randy Carlsen on the radio, and he spoke alot about intentional living (almost every day he'd have something). Each decision we make each day is made with the ultimate life goals in mind.

With both of these ways of doing things, we all need to ask ourselves a few questions. Where do I want to be? (in 1 year, 5 years, 10 years, etc) or Where do I want my children to be? How am I going to get there? (make a plan) What is in the best interest of my family? Will a shortcut now be paid for long term? It goes back to my Dad's saying of "give it 20 years" and makes it easier to stand up for things that may be a grey area in decision making.

It is my hope and prayer that I could be an intentional parent (and person), and that although sometimes the easiest way seems tempting, it's much more important to do what is right and what is best in God's eyes and not mans.

To sleep or not to sleep...that is the question

I've wondered much about sleep. Mostly because I've had 3 kids who have had sleep issues. Probably partly my fault, partly theirs. I once asked the pediatrician about it, and she said, "oh, kids don't sleep well, you have to teach them that skill." That opened my eyes in some ways, but created a whole new can of worms to add to the sleep dilemma/solution ratio. I spend much of my day getting a baby to sleep (lets say an hour each nap and bedtime, so that would be 4 hours a day), only to have her wake up 15 minutes later still crabby and not tired enough to get back to sleep. This is not new, nor am I looking for sympathy. I'm more just stating the obvious so that hopefully in a few months I can look back and say, "Wow, we've come a long ways".

In those 4 hours of crabbiness/fussing, I try to think of new things to try but often come up short because you can only try so many things and then run out of options. I've read books, which offer a few tips, but haven't helped that much either. I do console myself with a friends words, "they don't sleep good until they are 2". That at least gives me some hope. I don't regret this time in my life, but do wish I could enjoy my baby when she's happy instead of trying over and over to appease her tired self. L says to me every morning, "what are we going to do today? Keep a baby happy again?" Yep. That's what we spend most of our days doing. Which we would have to do anyways, but when baby is tired, it's much more involved. The books say to lay them down when they are drowsy and they'll learn to self-soothe. It has NEVER happened in this house. They whimper, cry and then scream...in that order. And then scream and scream. So, I'm working on the self-soothing in other ways, but have been so far unsuccessful.

Sundays are the worst. Her normal nap time is right at church time, so she fusses through church and only sometimes falls asleep. This past weekend she woke up early Sunday morning so was ready for nap by church time. She slept in the car for 20 minutes on the way there, wakes up when we get there (she's a light sleeper and is awake as soon as you stop driving). She then proceeds to fuss all through Sunday School, and halfway through church. (I'm playing the organ, so Greg and I trade her back and forth) She falls asleep only to wake up as soon as church is over (another 20 minute nap). She's crabby all the way to friends house for dinner, cries all through dinner (we take turns handing her back and forth so we can both eat somewhat enjoyably). She then gets pretty tired, but not enough to sleep. I have her in the carrier all this time. She conks out on the way home in late afternoon (30 min this time, awake when we pull in the driveway) and then is fussy until bedtime 3 hours later. Fun day. It's not usually this bad at home, because there is no driving/other people's houses involved, but the nap schedule is the same. One or two good naps would do her much more good, but I just can't seem to make that happen. She does sleep good at night though, and that is the only thing that makes this all bearable. We still have not had a sleepless night with her (or even been up with her at all other than to nurse her).

Here's the latest of my 3 rascals. The boys were playing "fox" on the top bunk, and I happened to walk in with the camera, as I had been trying to take some pictures of E in the other room. The boys both crawled to the edge of the bed to see baby sister, and I just tossed her up there and got the camera ready. As always, taking pictures of multiple kids requires dancing a jig, so apparently the one I danced worked, while keeping camera still. I love it when we can get good shots of the kids, because they are hard to get!

The Napkin Nuisance

In a house with a bunch of kids, we tend to go through plenty of napkins. It seems like someone is always spilling something at the table, and we need to wipe it up quick. Or just very sticky fingers from those who forget what utensils are for (a 2 year old is great for that). It seems I was buying napkins or paper towels pretty often, and that was getting a little old. For one, it's the cost. Two, the amount of garbage accumulated by throwing them all out. So, I toyed with idea of making a bunch of cloth napkins to use. That was as far as it got. I never get to the fabric store, and I don't have a serger (which would make doing the edges pretty easy and fast), so we just kept going through the stacks of napkins and rolls of paper towels. Then one day my aunt and uncle were having a garage sale, and low and behold here is a huge stack of cloth napkins. My aunt says, "oh, those were Grandma's, and no one needs them, so we're selling them." (for $0.10 each, I might add, while the cheapest store ones run 0.05 each). I bought the whole stack, then and there. Not only do the blue ones remind me of so many dinners at Grandpa and Grandma's they also look surprisingly like drape cloths from working in the ED suture room for so many years. Double memories. I still have the paper ones on hand, but have found these cloth ones to work amazingly well. Not only do they absorb a whole milk cup with one napkin (and they are always in a basket on the table so we don't have to run for one), they wash well and we have never run out (something we did before and then had to wait until we went to the store to buy more). Anything less that I have to buy is a score for me. (I'm also experimenting with homemade dishwasher soap, which I'll leave for another post)