My Pasty Recipe

I first learned to make pasties in Arizona from a lady who grew up in the U.P. of Michigan.  I've since tweaked it several times to the way we like them.  There are many different variations out there, but here's what we do.  I often make and roll out the pastry on one day and then make the filling, put them together and bake them the next.  Tired mamas got to do what they gotta do!

Pasty Pies (as our kids call them) 

This recipe makes about 12-1 cup pasties, so I generally double or triple it.  You can use whichever pastry recipe you like, but this is the one I use.

Pastry:

1 lb. lard/butter/shortening/beef tallow or a mixture of them

5 c. flour (white/brown/spelt/mixture)

1 t. baking powder

1/2-1 t. salt

Beat in a mixing bowl with whips until it looks like the size of peas.

Put into a 1 c. measure:

1 egg

1 T. vinegar

Fill to the the 1 c. line with water and mix until egg is blended in (with fork or whisk).  Add egg/vinegar/water mixture to the flour mixture in your mixing bowl and switch to the dough hook to blend until clumpy.  Chill and roll out as desired.

For the pasties, I roll it out into about 8" rounds and then place them between pieces of wax paper and rechill until you're ready to use them.

For the filling:

2-3 lb. thawed ground beef

6 carrots, grated with small grate

1 onion, chopped finely

8 potatoes, grated with large grate

1 rutabaga (optional, but is the key to good pasty flavor), grated large grate

2 T. pepper

1 T. salt

1 T. garlic salt (or just 2 T. total salt)

I grate all the vegetables as they seem to keep their moisture better than cubing them.  I also don't bother peeling them, as you can't tell in the end anyhow (buy organic if you can).  It's also less work if you have a food processor.  I have a hand cranking grater that works really fast, so the boys take care of them for me.  Often if I make these for new mamas, I leave out the onion and garlic salt in case their nursing baby won't care for it.  The pepper amount is also a bit higher, so you can lower it if you don't like things as peppery.  We love our pepper!

To put together:

Mix all the filling ingredients in a big, huge mixing bowl or two (with your hands works the best).  Squish the meat and veggies all together so they're mixed in well.  Then use a 1 c. measure and put a cup of filling onto one side of a round of pastry.  Fold the top over and either crimp or roll the edges up so that the filling is enclosed.  Bake on a cookie sheet for 45 min.-1 hour at 350*F or until a meat thermometer reads 172*F.  Let cool and then wrap individually and freeze.

You can also put a dab of butter or gravy in them before sealing to make them more delicious! The picture above also shows a glaze on top of them (butter or egg or milk wash), but I don't bother with that.

Kefir, kefir, wonderful kefir!

We've been drinking kefir for a few years now, trying to increase everyone's health and well-being around here (a constant job for this mama!)  I have to say that we are much healthier overall than we were 5 years ago, although with having 5+1 kids, there's always something or someone to tend to.

One of the best benefits of kefir is it's probiotic effects on the digestive tract.  If you suffer from any sorts of digestive ailments, kefir can help.  If you are lactose intolerant, don't worry.  In the process of culturing the kefir, the lactose is eaten up and it can be tolerated by most lactose intolerance people.  If your milk sensitivity is to the casein (milk protein), the pasteurization or the homogenization, then you likely will have to find a milk that works for you and then culture it.  Goats milk and raw cows milk are alternate milk sources that many people can tolerate.  If none of these milks work for you, look into water kefir which has many of the same attributes as milk kefir.  We drink both varieties around here and they're super easy (and cheap) to make yourself.  The main jobs of probiotics are to keep bad bacteria in check (salmonella, e. coli anyone, H. pylori?), to break down foods and to keep your immune system strong.  80% of your immune system is in the gut, so keeping it healthy will keep you healthy. (source)

Kefir also makes all the vitamins and minerals in milk more absorb-able by the body, thus increasing your body's overall health.  Even if kefir is heated (as in pancakes or baked goods), the probiotic effects are lost but the bioavailability of the nutrients is still increased greatly.  I use kefir in most places where you would normally use milk or buttermilk such as pancakes, cornbread, biscuits, etc.  Kefir is also great for reducing carbs in your diet.  Because it is cultured, the carbohydrates are eaten up and you're left with just the nutrients (proteins, fats, vitamins and minerals, and probiotics).  Because too many carbs can spike and fluctuate blood sugar, kefir is an excellent alternative to straight milk because it keeps blood sugar stable (unless you're drinking the kinds that are full of sugar!)

Kefir can also reduce allergy symptoms due to the fact that it increased good bacteria and helps to heal the gut.  An overactive immune system is often a sign of a leaky gut, and kefir can not only help stamp out the bad guys that are causing the trouble, but also help to heal the gut lining to prevent future allergy problems.

I have tried making kefir from grains two different times and they didn't work very well for me. When I bought the dehydrated grains, they need to rehydrate and somehow I pushed them right through my fine strainer and lost them down the drain while trying to rinse them (they crumbled).  I then tried real grains (much larger) from a friend, but they ended up just as thick in my kefir and it was very hard to strain them out when the kefir was thickened.  

Instead of buying the premade packets of kefir starter, I just make my own from a bottle of store bought kefir (thanks to my sister-in-law R for the idea).  Apparently the starter packets only have about 7 strains of probiotics, the Lifeway brand I buy at the store has 10-12, and the grains have 30+ strains.  So, take your pick of which way you'd like to make them, as they all will benefit you. We make smoothies out of it a couple times each week (that's the only form my older kids will tolerate) and the two little kids will drink it plain & straight since I've had them drinking it ever since they started drinking milk from a cup.  For the toddlers, I usually mix half kefir/half milk in their sippy cups so that it's thin enough to drink through the spout.  Use a little jam or honey or flavored stevia to sweeten if you like.

Here's a basic overview of what I do for milk kefir:

• Put 1-4 tablespoons of kefir grains (or your store bought kefir) into a quart jar. The more you use, the faster it will culture.
• Add around 4 cups of milk, preferably organic or even raw. Milk from grass-fed cows is healthiest. Leave one inch of room at the top of the jar. (no need to scald milk as you would for yogurt)
• You can add some full-fat cream if you want the kefir to be thicker.
• Put the lid on and leave it for 12-36 hours, at room temperature. That’s it.

Once it starts to look clumpy/thickened, it is ready. Then gently shake the jar before using and refrigerate to keep.

Delicious, nutritious and highly sustainable.

Now on to Water Kefir~

The benefits are pretty much the same and the process is easy too.  You just have to remember to do it.  I bought my grains from Cultures for Health and have been using the same ones for a few years now.  Mine don't seem to grow as some peoples do, but I think it's more to do with our water than the process.  I got my grains dehydrated, so had to re-hydrate them as per instructions first.  Then they're ready to go.

-Take water kefir grains (I use about 1/4 c. for a 1/2 gallon jar) and add to jar.

-Add 1/2 c. natural sugar (organic cane sugar, Rapadura, raw sugar) Do not use white sugar or honey or sugar substitutes.

-Fill jar with water and stir to dissolve sugar (don't use hot water or you'll kill your cultures, lukewarm is best). Put on a lid loosely or cover with fabric (I use a coffee filter with an elastic band)  It needs to be able to release gases, so don't cap it tightly (yet!)

-Set in a corner or cupboard for 24-48 hours.  Strain out grains with a fine plastic strainer and repeat.

-Flavor as desired with juices or fruit and drink up.

Or drink it straight with nothing added.  Or you can rebottle it in bail-top bottles and make soda out of it. You can also add molasses, raisins or other dried fruit to it to increase nutrient content.  The grains will love you too.  The longer you leave it, the more sugars will be eaten up, but don't go more than 48 hours or you can kill off your grains.  It becomes bitter if you leave it longer than that as well  (not that I'd ever forget about it, haha!)

Here's videos on how to make it.

Here's a great list of questions and answers you may have as well.

Good luck!

How Firm a Foundation

In my shower I used to have a nice decal that my friend Janine made on her sticker-making machine that started a prayer for each time I took a shower or bath. I repainted this summer so it had to be removed to paint and so I was looking for something to replace it with, to encourage and refresh me.  I ended up finding a "Keep Calm and Carry On" plaque at Ross which is a saying that is highly overused, but I love it anyways.  It happened to be turquoise, so that helped as well (my favorite color).

I was trying to think what Bible verse would go with the saying, and these ones came to mind.  They happen to be some of my favorite verses, and the hymn that goes with it is equally as beautiful.  Here's the verses that the hymn is taken from.

I first heard this hymn at our church's Bible Study back in 2001.  An older lady chose it out of our hymnal and I loved it although I had never heard it before.  It was only a few days later that 9/11 happened, and President George W. Bush used the same verses when giving his first public address.  These verses and the hymn have come to mind so many times over the years, always bringing comfort and peace.

Isaiah 41:10 Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.

Isaiah 43:2When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee.

2 Corinthians 12: And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

Hebrews 13:5Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.

1	How firm a foundation, ye saints of the Lord, Is laid for your faith in His excellent word! What more can He say than to you He hath said, To you who for refuge to Jesus have fled?
2	“Fear not, I am with thee, O be not dismayed, For I am thy God, and will still give thee aid; I’ll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand, Upheld by My righteous, omnipotent hand.”
3	“When through the deep waters I call thee to go, The rivers of sorrow shall not overflow; For I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless, And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.”
4	“When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie, My grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply; The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design Thy dross to consume, and thy gold to refine.”
5	“E’en down to old age all My people shall prove My sovereign, eternal, unchangeable love; And then, when grey hairs shall their temples adorn, Like lambs they shall still in My bosom be borne.”
6	“The soul that on Jesus hath leaned for repose, I will not, I will not desert to his foes; That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake, I’ll never, no, never, no, never forsake!”

Here's one of my favorite versions of the hymn on YouTube.  Fernando Ortega has another good one.

Chelsea Moon- How Firm A Foundation

Iron Primer

Here's a quick lesson to pass on of what I've learned about iron.  Why it goes low, what to do about it, how it works.

First of all, iron is what your body uses to produce red blood cells.  And, red blood cells are what your body uses to carry oxygen to all the cells.  Your body stores this iron in your liver, and uses it as needed, rebuilding stores as needed.  You also need vitamin B12 and folate to produce red blood cells, so ensuring you are getting enough of those is important as well.

One of the reasons that women get low in iron is due to monthly cycles, but also due to having numerous babies who use iron faster than it can be replaced.  During pregnancy, a woman's blood volume expands by 40-50% but that volume increase is only plasma, not red or white blood cells.  Those take time for the body to build up to meet the volume levels.  Often the plasma increases in the first trimester, and then the red and white blood cells catch up in the second trimester (which is often when the women notice symptoms of anemia because their stores have been depleted).  The baby is also taking its share of iron, as he/she is building their own stores of iron for the first 6 months of life until solid foods are added.  Breast milk has no iron itself, so letting babies play in the dirt once they are able to sit is also very helpful in a baby getting its daily doses of iron (if it's warm enough, of course).  There are many good baby foods that are high in iron as well, which I'll list below.

Complications that can arise from low iron are mainly fatigue (not a sleepy tired, but a physical exhaustion), mental confusion/instability, dizziness, lightheadedness, constipation, headaches.  Established anemia (you've had it for a while) can produce weakness, fatigue, coldness of extremities, depression, overall pallor, pale and brittle nails, lips and eyelids, soreness in mouth and cessation of menstruation.  Children can also be affected.

There are two forms of iron to increase levels in our body.  Heme and non-heme.  Basically heme is meat based iron sources, and non-heme is plant sources.  Heme is absorbed easily and quickly and is your best bet for bringing up levels of iron.  Non-heme is not as well absorbed, so is best taken with heme iron for best absorption.  Vitamin C and vitamin B12 also enhance iron absorption; and calcium, vitamin E, zinc and antacids hinder it (compete with it) so keeping this in mind is important as well.  Try to take them at different times of the day.

Sources

-Liver is the best, but other red meat comes next.  Clams and oysters are also great (the little smoked ones in a can have the highest levels)

-Blackstrap molasses

-Dried fruits such as apricots, dates, figs, raisins, prunes (plus they are high in fiber)

-Chlorophyll

-Herbs such as nettles, alfalfa, dandelion, red raspberry are also great.  Make them into an infusion for best results (tea that is steeped a minimum of 4 hours, overnight even)

-Elemental iron supplements (can cause constipation, so add in extra fiber such as apples or psyllium husks if you take this kind)

Lab tests

• Serum iron measures the level of iron in the liquid portion of the blood. 
• TIBC (total iron-binding capacity) measures all of the proteins in the blood that are available to bind with iron, including transferrin. 
• UIBC (unsaturated iron-binding capacity) measures the portion of transferrin that has not yet been saturated. UIBC also reflects transferrin levels. 
• Transferrin saturation is a calculation that reflects the percentage of transferrin that is saturated with iron. 
• Serum ferritin reflects the amount of stored iron in the body.
• Hemoglobin and hematocrit levels measure red blood cell levels

So, there it is.  I've been doing as many of those things as I can handle, and am finally starting to feel "normal" again.  It's taken about a month.  My ferritin levels were 13 when they tested them this fall, and normal levels are 10-250.  My Naturopath said I won't feel good unless they are over 50, and that is my goal.  She also said that I can take in up to 120mg per day without trouble.  My iron/hemoglobin levels have been fine with all the other pregnancies, so I'm guessing my ferritin has just been dropping lower and lower with each baby but this is the first time they've ever checked it.  It was down to 7 last spring at my Naturopathic appt., so I've brought them up a bit since then, but obviously not enough.

Peanut Butter Fudge

This is one of those yummy snacks that is good for either a dessert or a post-exercise snack.  Not that I exercise, but if I did...  I got it from my neighbor Paula.  Our boys just started their wrestling season, so I made some for them after practice.  And of course, Mama needs some too.

Peanut Butter Fudge

2 c. Almond meal (or 2 c. Ground nuts/flour)

1 c. Flax seed meal

1/2 c. Xylitol or equivalent sweetener

3 scoops (Tbsp.) protein powder

1 T. Vanilla

3/4 c. Melted butter

1 c. Peanut butter

Mix all above together (in food processor or by hand) and pat into 8x8 pan.  Chill in fridge.  Cut into 1-2" squares and enjoy.

Topping

4 oz. unsweetened chocolate, melted

1/4 c. Xylitol

1/4 c. Melted butter

Mix all and pour over fudge.  I also make a batch of Skinny Chocolate instead and pour it over the fudge as I usually don't have unsweetened chocolate on hand.

Skinny Chocolate

1/2 c. coconut oil

1/4 c. unsweetened cocoa powder

3 1/2 Tbsp Xylitol or Truvia, powdered fine (in coffee grinder)

Melt together, mix well and pour over fudge.

Somehow the almond flour I was supposed to buy the other day didn't get bought.  It must have gotten left on the bulk bins at the store or fell out of the cart somewhere, so I made it with ground up cashews and hemp seeds and it turned out fine.  So good!

On expecting a new baby

My older sister recently sent me a text saying something to the effect of, "saying you are pro-life is one thing, actually living pro-life is completely another".  She has birthed 11 children and has had some pretty rough challenges along the way.  She went on to say how in the Bible, child bearing is never portrayed as easy or to be taken lightly.  Sometimes, it's just hard.  I have not experienced some of the many other difficult challenges that pregnancy has to offer, but it's definitely not been easy either.

With our first baby, I had what the ultrasound people called an "incompetent cervix", and was scared by them into thinking that my baby could just fall out at any given time and die.  Thankfully my doctor was more reasonable and reassured me, but did advise me of all the things that could happen with such a condition.  Nothing ever came of it, but it did cause me to worry needlessly.  With baby #2 I was in neck pain continually, which meant I never got decent rest.   With baby #3 my adrenal fatigue was at its peak, so my energy was low and non-existent, plus I was still dealing with/trying to figure out what was going on with baby #2.  Baby #4, things were getting better, but I still had bursitis in my hip (and had had it for the past 2 babies as well), so I had hip pain with every step I took and every time I laid on my left side (which all the experts tell you you're supposed to do!). He also dropped down into position 6 weeks early, so I basically couldn't walk more than a few steps at a time for those last 6 weeks.  Baby #5 I was just plain tired all. the. time.  More than your average tiredness.  I did learn a few things with her, and that was to take enough magnesium to combat the morning sickness, and later about Green Vibrance to give my energy a boost.   She was also breech which caused some stress until she got turned.

Now with baby #6, it's low iron that is giving me a challenge and my tiredness has reached an all-time new low level.  I didn't even know that was possible, until here it is.  I'm glad I have been able to figure out what it is so that I can work on bringing it up, but it still is a long haul.  I can't exercise or even go for a walk because the energy just isn't there.  I even get lightheaded in the shower as that is too much exertion.  Just not enough red blood cells present, so sucking it up isn't even an option.  Christmas left me on the couch for 3 days after.  So did Thanksgiving.  I'm learning a new level of taking it easy.  I can slowly feel my levels coming back up, so will get them tested again to see where I'm at, but it's a long haul.  When my physical energy is so low, then my mental and emotional energy are too.  My fears (real and imagined) overwhelm me, my neediness does too (a problem I've never dealt with).  My insufficiencies blatantly stare me in the face and mock me while I lay on the couch and do nothing.  

But, the "nothing" I do is doing something.  It's growing a whole new person.  It's organizing (mentally) my family of 7 and striving to meet their needs.  It's reading many more books to my kids than I ever  imagined I'd have time for.  It's helped me read my Bible more, talk with my husband more and cuddle on the couch with whoever needs one.  It's made me pray more and seek God's strength more when my own is so weak.  It's made me call on others for help as well, which is hard for my pride to do.

For the past week I've been feeling far better than I have this whole pregnancy, so this is also a praise report.  God is faithful at carrying me (us) through the low times, and I know He will give me strength for the challenges yet to come.  I still need to stay home as much as I can, pace myself for each day (I'm experimenting with using a day timer and so far it's working well) and still trying to keep school, church and family priorities in line.  I hope to start exercising a bit now that my energy is starting to come up so that I can get stronger for labor and birth, as a weak wimp trying to deliver a baby is kind of a disaster waiting to happen.  So far it's been 5 months of no exercise.  Ugh!

Because of the baby kicking me, hiccuping, tossing and turning, and the plain old uncomfortableness of pregnancy itself, it's hard to forget about him/her for even more than a minute.  This also leads to continuous thoughts of the future of awaiting their arrival (fearing labor once again), wondering how the family dynamics will change, and also the logistics of a larger family.  I have a hard time seeing above and beyond all these realities to see the poetry and beauty in it all.  I know all of it in the big picture and the whole life scheme of things, I just can't see it for myself very often.  More often than not, the negatives get me down.  My faith just isn't very big these days.  I wish it was, but it just isn't.

Living pro-life just isn't all that easy.  For me anyhow.

"And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.  Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ my rest upon me.  Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake:  for when I am weak, then am I strong."  2 Cor. 12: 9,10

What I've been reading these days

Here's a few reviews of what I've been reading lately.  The good ones and the duds too.

Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters by Dr. Meg Meeker.

I got this book for Greg to read, but I read it and pointed out the highlights to him instead since he doesn't get much chances to read these days.  Here's a few highlights for fathers:
-Make a plan for your expectations when your daughter(s) are young.  Teach them often.  Repeat.
-Have courage under fire.  Be prepared to give an answer for why you do what you do and believe what you believe.
-Be the leader.  Show her how to make decisions by making wise ones yourself.  Don't let her (or your wife) be the boss.
-Have willpower when things get hard, painful, confusing or just plain crazy.
-Teach humility, it's the starting point for all other virtues.  More importantly, live it and that will teach more than you'll ever have to.
-Make her world larger than her and her talents.  It's not all about her.  Teach her to recognize her strengths, but also her limitations and how to deal with them.
-Hug your daughter often.  Especially as she grows older and into her teens.  Many dads shy away when their daughters get older, but the girls actually need it more.
-Teach your daughters to delay sex and teach her how.  Until marriage would be preferable, of course.  Tell them why.  Tell them how valuable they are to you, and even more to Jesus.  Give them a purity ring or necklace if you want.
-Teach her that she isn't a princess, in the way that princesses take, princesses demand, that princesses want more.  Teach her to be a pioneer woman instead.  Pioneers expect things to get better by their hard work, know how to problem solve and look out for others rather than selfishly for themselves.
-Have as much grit at home as you have at work.  Don't be a pushover or disengage when you get home, your family needs the same dedication and integrity you have in the work world.
-If you want your daughter to marry a man with integrity, be a man of integrity yourself.  Are you honest, hard working, loving and protective?  If you want a son-in-law who is those things, you must be those things yourself.  Your daughters will marry what they know.
-Treat the internet fearfully and with respect.  It can be an asset, but can also be a downfall in time spent, pornography, and other areas that will weaken the will and the conscience.
-Teach her who God is and why He's important.  Every daughter will run into hard times in her life, and God is the only answer and only hope for this world and the next.  If you don't know who He is yourself, find out.  She'll need help and she'll need hope at some point in her life.  Give her the tools to have those things.
-Don't blur the lines between right and wrong for your daughters.  Whatever popular culture is doing or whatever your daughter thinks you should be doing, don't be swayed.  Don't tolerate abuse, rudeness or dishonesty.  Deal with them appropriately.  Confront her as necessary.
-Most of all, make her a part of your everyday life, her whole life through.  Listen to her, let her help you with everyday tasks, ask her deep questions, tell her your beliefs.

Awesome book, much more inside!

Love and Logic by Foster Cline & Jim Fay 

This book was recommended to me by a couple of people, and all I have to say is what my Dad used to always say when we'd come up with a new idea, "It would be a good idea, if it would only work." Yeah, that sums up this book.

The main idea is that kids learn to make good decisions when they're little and the stakes are lower so that when they get older they know how to make good decisions when the stakes are higher.  Good ideas and good theories, but not very effective in a homeschooled family with many children.  Here's why:
-I'm not going to sit here and give choices to 5 children many hundred times per day, each with a good and bad consequence and then wait to see if the consequence plays out (it may take days, weeks or months before the consequence teaches them the appropriate lesson).  Kids just need to obey.
-I have to live with the bad consequences because they're home with me all day.  For example (this is one used in the book), the kids don't want to go to bed.  So, you let them stay up as long as they want, and then wake them up for school the next morning at their normal time, no matter how tired they are, and send them off.  By evening they are a wreck and never want to stay up late again.  But, as a homeschool mom, I get to put up with that grouchy kid or kids fighting with each other all day, not able to focus, etc.  Or a kid whose blood sugar bottoms out because I used lunch/supper as a bargaining tool ("finish your homework then you can join us for supper") and they'll learn to miraculously do their homework because they want supper.  Umm, no, my kids just get grouchy, overwhelmed and turn into bullies if I tried that.  They use meal time as a bargaining tool often in the book, which I'm not willing to do.

Anyhow, I read the whole book, hoping for a few gems, but it ended up being a bunch of mumbo-jumbo pop-psychology written for parents with 2 kids who send them off to school every day.  I have heard that they are teaching this method to teachers to help discipline the kids at school and I can see how it would be helpful there when the options for discipline are more limited.

Carry On, Warrior, Thoughts on Life Unarmed by Glennon Doyle Melton

This is just an enjoyable read about life as a mom and wife.  Humorous, insightful and helpful at embracing your beautiful, messy, real life.  I don't agree with many of her beliefs about God, but the book overall has good lots of good ideas.  I've read her articles on Huffington Post for several years, so this is just a compilation of many of those.

Raising Godly Tomatoes by L. Elizabeth  Krueger

This is by far my favorite parenting book and I just got it back from being lent out and thought I should read it again and get re-motivated with my toddlers.  Good stuff.  Lots of good stuff.

Proverbs for Parenting

This is a book my older sister recommended so I bought a copy.  Greg and I have been going through it, and I hope to start posting these on our daily white board to help teach the kids at breakfast each morning.   The lady who compiled it recommends using these as discipline tools, but I think that it's more effective to know these proverbs on an everyday basis rather than just pounding them into them in times of trouble.

That's all for now!

Christmas Letter 2015

Christmas 2015

Sending our love and greetings to you now again at Christmas. As I address each card, I think of you and pray for peace, health, strength and safety for all of our friends and family. You are all so far flung, that it seems impossible that we could ever visit you all! This year I'm going to have the kids update you from our year.

With Love and God's Peace, Greg & Rachel and Celeste

September 2015

Luke age 10

James age 8

Elise age 6

Isaac age 4

Celeste 18 months

This Advent hymn has been coming to my head over and over.  So many people are mourning, hopeless, lonely or sick.  Jesus is our only hope in this world and the next.  Christmas is a great time to remember that and turn to Him for healing of our bodies and souls

Comfort, comfort ye My people, Speak ye peace, thus saith our God;

Comfort those who sit in darkness, Mourning ’neath their sorrow’s load;

Speak ye to Jerusalem Of the peace that waits for them;

Tell her that her sins I cover, And her warfare now is over.

For the herald’s voice is crying In the desert far and near,

Bidding all men to repentance, Since the kingdom now is here.

O that warning cry obey! Now prepare for God a way!

Let the valleys rise to meet Him, And the hills bow down to greet Him.

Yea, her sins our God will pardon, Blotting out each dark misdeed;

All that well deserved His anger He will no more see nor heed.

She has suffered many a day, Now her griefs have passed away,

God will change her pining sadness Into ever springing gladness.

Make ye straight what long was crooked, Make the rougher places plain:

Let your hearts be true and humble, As befits His holy reign,

For the glory of the Lord Now o’er the earth is shed abroad,

And all flesh shall see the token That His Word is never broken.

~Johannes G. Olearius, Germany, 1671

Birthdays, visions, self-preservation, fertility and taking care of ourselves

This post is going to just be a plethora of thoughts that have been swirling around in my head these last few months.  I hope they make sense when I get finished.  Since I've been feeling rather tired most of this pregnancy, I have had lots of time to ponder and contemplate.  I also am turning 40 next month, so am trying to evaluate a few key areas of my life as well as think about where I've been.  What I've learned, what I still need to learn (or relearn), areas of weakness as well as strengths that I can work on and pray about.

The term "dying to self" came to my head the other night and I'm trying to think of where that fits in to life.  As moms, we die to self each day when we sacrifice our needs/wants for those of our spouse and our children.  This in turn makes us feel needed and satisfies something deep inside of us that nothing else can.  We all know that serving our self can feel slightly gratifying on the surface, but deep down there's nothing there of substance.  But, if we never take care of our own needs, and are constantly serving others and catering to them, we get depleted and depression and resentment creep in.  There's a fine line to it for sure, a line that is constantly changing with the daily ebbs and flows of life.  One blog I recently read said, "I've been wondering how I ought to think about this process of caring for my own needs, and how I ought to identify my real needs versus my selfish preferences or my misguided expectations." (source, well worth reading) Isn't that the truth?  Often it's hard to tell what those desires are or where they even come from, and what may be a real need one day may be a selfish preference the next.

As an introvert, I've often wondered how much alone time I should have each day to sort my thoughts and just rest my head from all the questions, crying and overall noise that accompanies a house with many children.  I have discovered that for myself, I need some time in bed each morning of quiet to sort out what I'm going to do that day, some time in the afternoon at quiet time (kids each go to separate rooms so they get some reprieve from each other too) to just rest from all the organizing, commandeering, bossing (politely, of course) and then in the evening I take a bath almost every evening to read and/or refresh without distraction or talking to anyone.  I don't have to leave home to do this, but have found that I feel frazzled and resentful if I don't do it consistently.  Even too much time with Greg at home can overload my introvert head, as much as I love talking to him and love having him around.  Often we just sit quietly on the couch because we're too stimulated to do any more talking by evening.  Some moms have one night a week to themselves while their husband watches the kids, some exercise at a set hour...but finding some way to recharge is vital to our overall health.  I read a book recently about a couple who moved to Alaska to homestead with 5 young children and she said that every evening she had to go for a walk outside by herself after everyone else was in bed just to have a bit of freedom from the small noisy cabin, and peacefulness to think clearly when her husband came home from his long day.  Do what you can with what you have to work with.

Along the same lines, I've wondered how to give to others (husband and children specifically) when you have nothing left to give.  How do you meet their needs when your own stores run so low?  Everyone I've talked to about this subject tells me to "lower my expectations", but I don't know how to do this any more than I already have.  We've had rough times before and cut out as many extras as we feel is necessary.  The other day I talked to our chiropractor about it, and he said that when times were really hard for he and his wife (they have 11 children), they would just look at each other and say, "We'll just have to hunker down and get through this.  It'll end someday!"  I know it will too, but I also want to be able to enjoy the little things in my life today without being overwhelmed the guilt, inadequacies and failures that seem to stare me in the face when I'm lying on the couch once again because I'm d.o.n.e. for the day.  I want to be pleasant when my kids come to me with requests and to show me things rather than being overwhelmed because of all the chores that didn't get finished today again.  I want to be ready to read when my toddlers bring me book after book after book because I'm lying down and look like I have nothing better to do.  But, I also need my kids to do some work each day, because I can't keep up with things like I am used to doing.  I don't have the energy to pick up all their messes, when they are usually bored and fully capable of cleaning up after themselves.  I do get so weary of the nagging, that then I let things slide for a few days, only to find that the task becomes insurmountable because I didn't remind them to do it every day.  Today it took all morning to clean one room so it could be vacuumed that had been mostly unattended to (by me) all weekend.  One room's floor, two days messes.  Ridiculous.  And that was with a timer (and a treat motivation) and me cajoling them along with what needed to be done step by step.  Bedroom cleaning, anyone?  Even worse!  I've wondered if we should hire someone to do the vacuuming and such, but then I also know that it would be the kids that are getting out of a job, not me.  And it's the cleaning the floors before vacuuming that takes all the time and energy, not the actual vacuuming and floor sweeping/mopping itself.  Those are fun and breezish.  No great inspiration here, only more questions!

One of the other things I think about a lot is fertility.  There seems to be such vastly different views on it, ranging from pure hatred (Planned Parenthood supporters) to worshiping of it also, with everything in between.  From total support when they hear of another baby coming into this world, to extreme disdain as well, from jealousy over another's new life to absolute relief that it isn't them expecting the baby.  No matter what stage of womanhood you're in, it is hard. It's hard to be pregnant and not feel well for various health reasons, it's hard to lose a baby, it's hard to have baby after baby, in yet it's also hard to have no baby when you want one.  I have gotten slack while expecting my last two babies from a woman who wishes she had more children (even though she has more than me) because in her opinion "it's not fair, because I want another baby and haven't gotten one".  She doesn't realize that for 10 years I was single, working at a minimum wage job, then working 2 jobs while putting myself through college, and patiently waiting for a husband while she was having her babies.  Some women wait much longer than I did.  Another woman struggled with infertility for many years and finally was able to have a baby at age 30.  Well, I was 30 when I had my first baby too, except that I was single for all those years and no one had sympathy for me because of my loneliness. I feel very blessed for my life, the way it has turned out in God's perfect time, but it's not something I have set out to plan or do, but instead have tried to trust in God and go where He leads me and do what He wants me to do. What other people think or feel or where they stand in their own journey with fertility, is not my concern.  I also hear many women touting "we trust God with our fertility", as if those who make choices otherwise have no faith.  To me it seems more of a seeking of validation for their own beliefs, rather than a life of faith.  A life of faith needs no explanation to anyone.  We can trust that God leads us and guides us and helps us make decisions while He also knows our frame, our shortcomings and our life's situation.  What may be right for someone, may not be the best for someone else.  Any way you look at it, women have been "cursed" (for better and for worse) with childbearing since the fall of Eve.

The other thing I've been thinking about is visions.  I'm not talking about seeing visions, but just visions of the future that come to our minds bit by bit over time.  Visions of where your children will end up when they grow up, visions of how your family will end up, visions of the future in any way shape or form.  Greg and I were talking about this also, and how God brought us together so perfectly, and how we each met the vision each other had for a future husband/wife, in yet where do those visions come from?  Does God put those visions in our minds and hearts, and then let us know about them so we can pray about them?  Are they from our carnal portion (it seems unlikely, since they are usually well and good things for our life)?  With 4/5 of our children, their names came to either Greg or I many months before we even conceived them.  How did those names get there?   We knew what gender we were having based on the name that came to us long before we knew about them.  Isaac was our wild card.  We sat down and chose his name because we had thought all along he was a girl (we had been given a girls name), and 3 weeks before he was born we found out he was a boy.  He has been such a blessing to us, but he did make me lose some confidence in the visions I'd been given regarding my babies!  We'll see what this next baby turns out to be (hopefully we'll be able to tell at the next appt.) because I was given a name over a year ago for this one.  I'll keep you posted!  Greg and I have also both had visions of our family size, but had never shared those visions with each other until just this year.  And our visions are the same.  I've had my vision since I was a young teenager (although it lost some hope when I was single all those years), and he's had his about the same amount of time.  So then I question, where do these visions come from, how much do we rely on them and how much do we ignore them?   

God says he will give us the desires of our heart, so maybe He puts those desires in there so that we then can see Him working to fulfill them.   Often we pray "thy will be done", which is well and good, but maybe it's even easier to trust that His will will be done if we knew that He is the one putting those desires into our hearts in the first place.  It kind of goes back to the question about seeking our own desires or our misguided expectations.  Often we don't know where our desires stem from.  "Search me, O God,  and know my thoughts..."

The next thing I've been thinking about is the self-preservation that comes with pregnancy.  Somehow we are okay to be dying to self on a daily basis, but then when pregnancy comes along, we learn how important it is to care for ourselves.  We see our limits much more clearly due to the hormones present to keep that baby safe and healthy.  I remember my cousin's wife (who had ridden horses her whole life) just having a gut feeling that she shouldn't ride a horse one day.  Later on she found out they were expecting twins.  God has such an amazing way to keep our little babies safe, that our hormones tell us where our boundaries are more clearly.  I certainly am not able to just do what I want to do when I'm pregnant, as my body tells me my limits so much more clearly (hungry, tired, chilled, needing of emotional support, sensitive to smells, outside expectations, and so much more).  I don't know if the same hormones are in charge of the emotions, but I am so much more emotional when pregnant (I even was crying in the grocery checkout the other day when a woman was telling me about her son dying 5 years ago...totally not me at all).  I tend to be more sentimental as well, recalling all kinds of memories from the past.  My dreams portray all kinds of people in my life that I had completely forgotten about.  I just think it's amazing how God made these intuitions kick in during pregnancy for the maternal instincts to engage and to take care of that super-vulnerable unborn baby.

How about turning 40?  How does that feel?  I'm actually okay with it.  I try to look at all the things I've learned over the years rather than just focusing getting older.  When I look at the younger women, I try to remember how far I've come from when I was their age.  I'm actually thankful I'm not their age anymore.  Some of the things I've noticed that don't matter anymore are clothes (comfortable and functional rather than fashionable, although I still try to look nice), getting excited about events (I usually have a sick kid or two and have been disappointed far too many times...if I can go, it's a bonus, if not, oh well), having a social life (same as the last one), eating out (too expensive, too chaotic even if the kids behave well), driving a car (won't be driving one anytime soon either!).  I also have learned to be more compassionate for others (and not so judgmental, although I am still learning this one), more patient, more forgiving, and most of all more understanding of myself in terms of my weaknesses, my frailties, my shortcomings which helps me understand others and have more compassion for them.  I am still completely unartistic, I still hate most crafts (because that would require creativity), I still like to sleep way too much, and I still would eat cold cereal every day if I bought it (which I don't because it spikes my blood sugar and I feel like crap every time I eat it, even the "healthy" stuff).  I do have some fun plans for my birthday, but we'll see if they actually materialize (not getting my hopes up).  I do still cling to much birthday baggage that I also would like to be free from, but as of yet, am not.

I've learned that I can't change other people, but I can change the way I react to them and I can pray for them.  This quote below came in the mail to me as a magnet when I ordered some books one time and I've kept it on my fridge ever since.  Recently it has come to me over and over in different situations, and I keep reminding myself of the words.  It makes us realize our own imperfections and helps us to be more understanding and forgiving when others don't do what we'd want them to do.  Let's keep our expectations realistic and reasonable.  And be willing to overlook faults in others just as we'd like them to do with our faults.  The good old Golden Rule!

Whew, that was rather lengthy.  Any thoughts or helps welcome!

Breakfast and Lunch Ideas around here

Lately I was asked to write about what we do for lunches.  We definitely don't do anything special, and try to make it as quick yet nutritious as possible.  For right now we are still gluten-free due to one child needing to be, but hopefully that'll only be for another couple of months as she is almost healed (thanks to our Naturopath).  I decided to add breakfasts in here too, as I do get bored with what we do and hope some of you will add some of your ideas to both categories (hint, hint!)

Breakfast (weekdays)

-Scrambled eggs with grated zucchini (fry it for a bit by itself first to lose some moisture or your eggs will be soggy), green onions, peppers, cheese, ham or whatever else I can find, add toast if necessary.

-Kefir smoothies- plain kefir or cottage cheese or yogurt, banana, blueberries, apples or other fruit, hemp seeds, flax seeds, gelatin, green powder, cod liver oil, coconut oil, psyllium husks.  Whatever is in it, it is the whole meal, not just a drink on the side.  I'm too busy/lazy to do a breakfast and a smoothie. My Grandma Kurtti used to always say, "there's a fine line between laziness and efficiency!"

-Soaked oatmeal- this is our quick breakfast when we need to get out the door in a hurry.  I soak old-fashioned oats in their water (with a bit of kefir or ACV to make more digestible) in the slow cooker and then Greg turns it on high when he leaves for work in the morning.  When the rest of us get up, it's ready to go.  You can also do steel-cut oats the same way, but just cook them on low all night long.  Add frozen blueberries to cool it off quickly if you're really in a hurry and put it in a coffee mugs to take in the car.

-Creamy buckwheat hot cereal- our favorite gluten-free cereal from Bob's Red Mill.  Doesn't taste at all like buckwheat pancakes.

-Sausage patties and baked yams- I either bake extra yams the night before for supper, or microwave them quickly or fry them in a frying pan with a bit of water and a lid on them.  Top with butter and cinnamon.

Weekend breakfasts- pannukakku, soaked pancakes, bacon and eggs with home-shredded hash browns, or on the rare occasion biscuits and sausage gravy with eggs.  Hard boiled eggs or oatmeal for a quick Sunday morning breakfast also.

Lunch

-Leftovers from supper heated in my small slow cooker- this is my favorite go-to for lunches, but often I don't cook enough to do this.  I put it in the slow cooker in the fridge the night before when I'm cleaning up from supper so it's ready to go after breakfast.  In a perfect world I'd have this every day, but more often than not it doesn't happen.

-Chicken noodle soup- heat chicken (bone) broth and when it boils then add GF spiral pasta and cook until almost done, then add canned or leftover chicken, frozen mixed vegetables and heat it all you're done.  This is James' favorite.  Leave a few vegetables frozen so the kids can add them at the end to cool their soup back down.

-Refried bean burritos- refried beans heated with butter and shredded cheese and wrapped up in a tortilla

-Egg, tuna, salmon or imitation crab salad on crackers or rice cakes- these we do often. Quick and easy.

-Cheese, deli meat and cracker stacks- the kids love these.  Just set out a tray of these with some veggies too and you're set.

-Ants on a log (celery) or a boat (apple wedge). Fill with peanut butter. Top with raisins of course.

-Beanie weenies- sliced up hot dogs in pork and beans- these are thanks to Calvin and Hobbes.  Calvin's favorite lunch.

-PB&J on rice cakes- we always happen to eat these crumbly things right after we finish vacuuming.  And then the floor is messy again!

-Pasta, feta and veggies- one of our favorites.  I've made this hundreds of times. Pepperoni and ham work well also.  Add extra cheese if you want to make it more like mac and cheese.  Use regular cheese if your kids don't like feta.  Thanks, Megan!

-Beef and pea soup- like my easy hamburger soup but just add frozen peas to the beef broth and leftover ground beef.

-Canned chili- for those super busy days.

-Hummus with veggies/chips- we do this a lot also.

-Beans and Rice- usually cooked beforehand, just heated up with some veggies

On the weekends we usually do Reubens, French Dips, Tuna Melts or grilled cheese and tomato soup as these are some of Greg's favorite sandwiches.

For lunch we stick to raw and fermented vegetables unless we have cooked ones already cooked up.  We pull out the baby carrots, cherry tomatoes, English cucumbers (because I'm Canadian and that's what I grew up with and peeling a cucumber is just too much work), bell peppers, raw sauerkraut, pickles and zucchini relish every day and add some to whatever else we're eating.  Sometimes I add ranch, but most days everyone just gobbles them down by themselves.  We also drink our daily dose of water kefir and kombucha with our lunch, usually flavored with some sort of juice.

Snacks

We don't do many snacks, mostly because we eat breakfast later at 9 am, lunch at 1pm and supper at 5-6 pm.  In the afternoon each day at 4 pm, we have "fruit time" with whatever fruit we have on hand.  The other go-to's are cheese slices/sticks, trail mix (almonds, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, dried fruit).  If a snack is needed at bedtime, yogurt and kefir are what the kids get.  Occasionally more protein and blood sugar needs raising, so peanut butter on/with a banana or a  milk cup comes to the rescue too!

And that's what we do around here!  What do you like to eat at your house?