Getting down with sin

Have you ever been wondering how many ways we avoid confessing our sin?  I have, but never really thought about it enough to summarize it.  I was recently reading a classical schooling book, which said the biggest problem in schools is if they have unconfessed sin.  Ack!!  Do you know any school that doesn't have this?!  I can't think of any, because in any school there are people.  He talks about how our spiritual walk will always be stunted if we can't grow in grace which comes as a result of regularly confessing our sin.  We can go to church, attend the Lord's supper, sing endless hymns; but if we still won't confess our sins then we won't be free from them.  Pretty sobering.  He differs in view on how this should be done than what we believe, but the fact that it must be done remains the same.

Isaiah 1:13KJV

“Bring no more vain oblations (offerings); incense is an abomination unto me; the new moons and sabbaths, the calling of assemblies, I cannot away with; it is iniquity, even the solemn meeting.”

Iniquity can be described as the character behind the sin. David specifically asked God to cleanse him from secret sin, presumptuous sins and great transgresssion. Are we willing to do that? I know one time I had a disagreement with someone, and although I didn't feel that I had done anything wrong in the matter, the other person was offended (I heard this from a 3rd party, not herself). I tried and tried to ignore this, but it kept nagging at me that there was contention in the relationship. Since I only saw this person occasionally, I could ignore it most of the time. I asked others present at the incident if I had been offensive or behaved unseemly, which they agreed that I hadn't. But still I avoided apologizing because I couldn't see why I should, when the other party had been rude, careless and had caused the problem in the first place. But still it nagged on me. 4 years it nagged on me, whilst I tried to make it go away with all kinds of tactics (some listed below!) When I finally did apologize, the other person didn't even remember the incident, but it was finally free off my conscience. It was a good lesson on doing the right thing, even if we think we have done nothing wrong. It's true that people get "offended" (aka their feelings hurt) far too easily. It's true that there's a lot of nasty people out there. But it's also true that as Christians we should always be striving to restore relationships as best we can and acknowledge our own sin in the matters at hand.

He says the difference between unrepentant sinners and those walking in harmony with God is not the fact whether or not they sin; it's the fact that when they sin, they pick up after themselves through confession. In Lutheranism we have absolution too, which is a great blessing after confession. But, our pride still doesn't want to confess, so we come up with all kinds of reasons why we shouldn't.

•  We trivialize the sin (we say it's too small to confess, we don't want to bother God with our pettiness)
• We surrender to the sin (we say the sin is too big to confess, it is bigger than God can deal with because we know the consequences of the sin will be huge)
• We justify the sin (we say what we did was ok for whatever reason we come up with)
• We excuse the sin (admitting our behavior was wrong, but claiming extenuating circumstances)
• We blur the sin (we use vague terms, "forgive me for anything I might have done")
• We reassign the sin (we blame someone else, "the serpent beguiled me", said Eve)
• We ignore the sin (we hope the problem will disappear if we ignore it long enough)
• We delay the sin (why confess today, when we can put it off until tomorrow?)
• We hide the sin ("no one knows, and I won't tell")
• We embrace the sin (in our rebellion and defiance, we will not confess things such as anger, contempt, bitterness and pride, because we feel it was/is deserved)
• We buy the sin (we see it too high a price to pay, when restitution will be required)
• We theologize the sin ("I know Jesus has forgiven my sin; past, present, future", or they think the corporate confession at church will suffice)

1 John 1:7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.

8 If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.

9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

10 If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.

Book Review- Are You Really OK?

So this is the book I was supposed to read in the previous post. This one is called Are You Really OK? by Debra Fileta. (amazon link and reviews). I have to say, of all the self-help, relationship type books I've read over the years, I would say this one is the best! It deals with the inner workings of each of us from a Biblical perspective without all the works-based-do-gooding and pie-in-the-sky expectations of a Christian relationships and/or marriage. She's real, she's raw, she's genuine, she's compassionate yet she's firm in why we need to examine ourselves for Christ based behaviors and habits; not family baggage type ones or trauma based ones, or just excusing personality quirk ones. But instead allowing Christ to "And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God." (Romans 12:2).

She has a section on our own emotional health. How we got to where we are today. She suggests doing a genogram to track our family's behaviors (good and bad), coping mechanisms, traumas, addictions, birth order, and any significant events that you can see have shaped your family and yourself to be the way you are today. It could be death of loved ones, or even death of a dream. Kind of like a family tree of behaviors. We aren't looking for blame here, but to acknowledge where we've come from to where we are today. Try to go back 3 generations (including siblings, aunts, uncles and cousins too) if you can. The majority of issues we face today have roots in our past. This can help us pinpoint things that were/are unhealthy which then points us how to get healthy, rather than be stuck in what is familiar but unhealthy.

What is your stress level like? Have you gone through any major life changes? Good changes cause just as much stress as bad changes (marriage, new baby, moving, etc). Acknowledge these help diffuse pressure that may be building unknowingly in a relationship.

The next chapter is called "God is More Real than my Reality". It's a goodie. Do we let our feelings be our reality? Do we think they are always right and that we have to respond to them? Why or why not? Often our emotions don't know the full story, so they aren't accurate, they are more like a dash light warning us to check into something further. They can also react from past triggers but the current event may be totally safe. Feelings, if not kept in check, can wreak much havoc in our lives. She then goes into different emotions that Jesus felt and reminds us to try to emulate His responses. How He thanked God for hearing His prayers in a time of deep sadness and sorrow (John 11:33-35). Just because we feel afraid doesn't mean there's something to fear. We need to trust in God's promises over our own emotions time and time again. Do a Bible study on all Jesus' emotions and how He responded to them if you'd like.

Learn to express your ideas in a healthy way. This is often best done in journaling or expressive writing. For one, it puts into words what we think and feel. It helps us organize our thoughts, fears and ideas so that we can share them in a healthy format once they are sorted. If we don't sort our thoughts first, we can tend to respond too emotionally to our loved ones, when it's really not their fault at all. There's often something deeper to our present emotional distress and writing things down helps us pinpoint them. Making our mind/body connections will help us in so many ways, but often we can't do this unless we know what's going on and writing helps us get there. We also can keep it private (which we can't do with our words) and then burn it when we've worked through an issue. Or we can share the parts that we want, and keep the other parts private until we're ready. The next step is to share these emotions with someone you trust, in order to help you gain control over them, rather than them having control over you. When you talk to friends or family, are you able to look at your emotions objectively or do you let them run the show? Get professional help when needed too. Just because we are Christians, doesn't mean we actually know how to handle many situations. Expressive writing will help a counselor to see what's really going on too. The key is to be honest. It won't help anyone to have a sugar coated writing session, or one in which nothing is shared. (I have my kids do expressive writing for me if they are struggling to find words for how they feel, or feel too shy to say how they feel. If they put it down on paper and give it to me, it gives me something to go on when we have a discussion about it. This is different writing from their journals/diaries which are kept totally private from everyone, where they can freely write without fear of any others reading it.)

The next chapter is about our identity in Christ. How do we see ourselves? By our successes? By our failures? By what others think or don't think of us? Have you placed labels on yourself or on others that is through our own lens rather than how God sees us as His chosen, redeemed children? Why is my view of myself important to my spiritual health? Are there "black and blue buttons" that come out in my relationships with others? Things from my past that I'm still holding onto although they've been forgiven?

The next chapter is encouraging us to have healthy friendships. The 3 she recommends is to have one of each: mentor (someone guiding you along the path of life, who can be an example of Christ-like-ness), a friend (iron sharpens iron, someone always pointing us back to Jesus), a disciple (someone we can pour into with Christ). She says how these will change over time and our own needs, and that often our children will be the disciples once we have some. The church body is made up of all of these, and we need to ask ourselves- have I contributed to the spiritual health or lack thereof of the body of believers? Have I strengthened the bonds of love in my family, friends and church or have I weakened it with my lack thereof? What would someone else say? It's easy to blame others, but we need look no further than ourselves for the health or lack of health in all these areas. How can I work on loving others better?

Cognitive distortions is the next area. What we think --> influences how we feel --> which impacts how we behave. What is easiest to think often becomes default because of it's ease/habit. Starting new thought patterns are hard, and we often have illusions of how things really are. We can't change it if we don't even recognize it. Cognitive restructuring (this is neuroplasticity of changing thought patterns) helps us replace our cognitive distortions with truth. It's like taking a song that's on repeat in our brains, and opening your mind to new songs with new words and new music. Here's the common distortions~

• Black and white thinking, all or nothing (seeing things as black/white, right/wrong, helpful/unhelpful rather than a balanced perspective and being able to see all the shades of gray that life brings
• Overgeneralizations (you take one negative experience or interaction and generalize it to fit everything else)
• Minimization and magnification (this tends to be making light of the good things and/or exaggerating the bad)
• Mind reading (assuming you know what someone else is thinking, although we have not confirmed it to be true)
• Fortune telling (assuming something will turn out negatively when we have no evidence, worst case scenario thinking)
• Catastrophizing (those who make catastrophes out of everything, mountain out of a molehill)
• Emotional reasoning (allows our feelings to lead the way, "because I feel it, it must be true")
• Should-could-would statements (mental focus is on the past of what you should-could-would have done and keeps the focus on the past, ruminating on things that can't be changed)
• Labeling (words or judgements on ourselves or others that influences our beliefs or interactions, assuming things based on the labels we've given them/us)
• Personalization (assume responsibility for things that don't belong to us, take things personally making them about us rather than seeing them objectively)

What ones do you struggle with? Or didn't know you did until I wrote them out? Haha! Ask God to reveal the ones you use, and replace them with His truth. How do your negative thoughts lead to negative feelings? Make it a weekly process until you begin to see freedom from these cognitive distortions.

The next chapter is about trauma and how it affects us. She quotes one quote that I think is the best of all (by Carolyn Weber). "Trauma cracks us open..so that the Holy Spirit can get in".  Do we see our own trauma in that light? She talks about ways to heal from trauma and use it for good rather than letting it rule us, which I'm not going to get into as it's rather lengthy. (One healing thing is to write it out. Write it all out, sorting it in a certain way that she describes in the book.)

The last chapter is on physical health. Eating well, exercising, and all that stuff. You know what to do there!

Book Reviews~ Missing Microbes, Love in Every Season

 Just a couple quick book reviews today.  Haven't read much lately, but I did plug through these books for good measure!  I've also read a few books on neuroplasticity that were so boring that I can't even muster up the strength to open them again (and shipped them right back to the library where they belong!)  I am enjoying reading the Anne of Green Gables series this winter for fun reading.  I haven't read them since I was a teenager, and maybe I didn't even read them then.  I can't remember.  I do own one that is pretty old but I don't remember where I got it or when.  I had the kids endure watching the 3- 2 parts marathon when we were sick, and then thought maybe I should read them and see how accurate the movies are.  They've been enjoyable for these long winter nights in my bath and while waiting at wrestling practice.

Missing Microbes by Martin J. Blaser M.D. (How the overuse of antibiotics is fueling our modern plagues) was a really good read.  He's a doctor that specializes in the role of bacteria in our health or lack of it.  Some interesting statistics he states in the book are:

-the average child has received 3 courses of antibiotics by the time they are 2

-the average child has received 17 courses by the time they are 20

-in their 20s and 30s they will receive another 13 courses

-children given antibiotics in childhood had much higher rates of type 1 diabetes and celiac disease

(would we give them as freely if we knew this would be the result?)

How much is too much?  How much is actually necessary?  How much is damaging?

The answer is all of them are too much, as all of them cause damage.  Very few are actually necessary.  They kill not only the germs, but all the innocent bystanders (good microbes) as well.  This leads to the increase of resistant bacteria, an overgrowth of the bad guys.  So we end up worse than where we began.  It also leads to mutations and antibiotic resistance where the same antibiotic won't kill what it's needed to kill after a while.  This is why there's such a big concern with MRSA, staph infection, strep issues and the like.  

Antibiotics in our food is another concern.  Farmers give antibiotics in the animals food for several reasons.  One is for keeping more of them in too close of quarters (feedlots or massive barns) the other is so they gain more weight.  Watch American Meat documentary for more details. If animals gain more weight with antibiotics, do people as well?  The answer is yes.  Children given antibiotics in the first 6 months of their life had the most obesity in childhood and later in life too.  If they were born by c-section that number was also high as their mothers were given it.  He gives the data for it all, I'm just summarizing.  Antibiotics can make a difference in your height as well.  Having certain pathogens in your gut (h. pylori for example) makes you shorter, so killing that off can make you taller during childhood.  The direct correlation isn't completely understood, because nutrition and stress and other factors also play a role.  The soldiers in the Revolutionary war were on average 6" taller than those in the Civil war.  What made the difference?  Microbes had a huge role to play in this.  

Microbes are also directly correlated to higher rates of type 1 (juvenile onset) diabetes as well as celiac disease. Type 1 diabetes is doubling rates over each of the last 20 years.  In this doctor's data, the risk factors were babies born by c-section, boys who are tall and babies who gained more weight rapidly in the first year of life.  All signs of perturbation of microbes in their bodies.  With celiac disease, for those who were recently diagnosed, 40% of them had been prescribed antibiotics in the previous months prior to celiac diagnosis.  Is gluten sensitivity a result of antibiotic use?  Good chance, due to the upset of the gut microbes that help digest it and break it down in the body.  There also could be a h.pylori connection here too.

So, what do we do?  We can't just stop using them, but we need to be more strict on when and why.  We also need to research alternatives that aren't so damaging.  We have a friend who is a dentist who used to always prescribe preventative antibiotics before any procedures.  She said she no longer does that, as the damage to the gut health is far greater than the risk of infection.  She only uses them if infection is actually present now.  Which can also be avoided by natural antibiotics and antivirals.

Start implementing things like garlic, oil of oregano, colloidal silver, black seed oil, and I am starting to use homeopathics which also act like antibiotics in the body as they strengthen the areas that are weak so that our bodies can heal themselves.  There are many herbs and vitamins that strengthen immunity too.  We can also look at how we are eating, if that is increasing our chance of getting infections overall or if we are eating in a way that supports body health to resist infection.  Sugar is the biggest thing that feeds bad pathogens of any sort, so limiting that is the most basic thing we can do.  

One of our children was given 1 round of antibiotics when he was 3 for a minor infection, and about 6 weeks later his mood slowly went from cheerful to sullen.  I had given probiotics after for quite some time to help counter the effects, but that cheerful happy boy has never returned.  The antibiotics didn't even get rid of the infection, plain old garlic did.  I truly had no idea how much damage was done by them, or how long it would affect him.  We still aren't back on track.  Oh, well.  What would our children be like if we never had to give them any antibiotics?  Is it a reasonable goal?  Hmm.

The next book is called Love in Every Season by Debra Fileta.  I was recommended this author (different book) and since the library didn't have the one recommended, I read this one.  She talks about how relationships go through all the "seasons" and how to navigate them well.  She is a Christian counselor and I feel like all the advice she gives is really good.  I found a lot of gems for teaching our own teens how to navigate relationships when the time comes.

1) Human beings are magnetic, we tend to attract the people who are similar to us physically, emotionally and spiritually.  And we naturally repel the rest.  This also means if we are unhealthy in these areas we also seem to attract people who are unhealthy in the same categories.  Taking responsibility for getting ourselves healthier in any of these areas will attract people who also are healthier in these areas.

2) Dating is the trouble shooting period when we are getting to know someone.  It is not the no-turning-back road to marriage.  Be willing at any point to let go and move on if red flags arise.  It's the time to be honest with our own selves and give the other person an honest assessment of our strengths and weaknesses, and let them do the same.  Loving but brutal self assessment and portrayal is essential.  Be willing to ask God to prune you so that you can be a healthier person day by day.

3) Don't put God "in the center of the relationship" too soon.  This may sound like bad advice, coming from a Christian counselor, but she said she's seen over and over how people share devotions and prayer far too early in the relationship.  These are both deep, intimate things to do; and you don't want to go there yet in case you decide it isn't a good fit.  People end up bonding spiritually long before they bond emotionally, without any commitment in place yet.  They go too deep, too fast.  She encourages them to talk over spiritual things, but do it objectively to learn where each other stands, and keep your prayer life single until the commitment stage.  If we are honest in prayer, we are also vulnerable.  Don't share these things too early.  This can also lead to monotony later on.  Everything needs to be in balance with each other, not too much of one thing but not enough of the others.

4)  Show your true colors.    If a relationship progresses to marriage, true colors will eventually show up.  Sometimes they'll surprise you, sometimes they'll scare you.  There's the good colors, bad colors, ugly colors.  What may be cute now may be annoying later.  Be honest with each other most of all.

5) To go with true colors, we're going to come up with differences.  Compatability is "the ability to come together despite these differences".  The ability to work together and see life through each other's perspective.  Differences can be the catalyst to growth, maturity or well-roundedness.  But they can also be the source of conflict.

6) How we handle different issues are learned behavior.  It isn't black or white, right or wrong.  It's a accumulation of what each of us has learned in our lives.  Finding someone with similar views on money and similar socioeconomic status is a good idea, or similar cultural, family or religious upbringing, or similar age (less than 5 years is ideal), or educational similarities (as in the value put on education, as the investment of our time).  Lifestyle habits and morals and values come into play as well.

7) In order to find a good match, we most of all need to be a good match.  Know our own strengths and weaknesses, and dig deep into our own morals, values and beliefs.  Address our baggage.  Ask yourself "who fits into my story"?  Who helps me to be a better person than I could be on my own?    Compatability isn't something that we find, it's something that we choose.

8) Conflict.  69% of conflict is considered "unsolvable".  This is because it is our personality, perspective or deep-seated beliefs.  These are things that don't magically go away or are not easily changed.  It doesn't matter if you marry Julie or Andrea, Brian or Chris.  The list will be different, but just as long.  Maybe one person is great with a budget but never on time, or vise versa.  Things like that.  She says, "marriages are successful to the degree that the problems you choose are ones you can cope with."  So choose problems that you are willing to be okay with (and not try to fix!)

9) Use conflict as a way to build deeper intimacy.  It's the key to building connection, but we can also use it as the key to disconnect.  We get to choose.  Prepare for it in advance, and play fair.

10) Be honest.  She uses Adam and Eve to explain how they thought by lying to God they would solve their problems with disobedience, but it only led to more problems.  She calls it "bare branches".  Be vulnerable.  Don't be so desperate to be wanted or loved that you have to lie to get it.  This includes sins or damage by omission (don't ask, don't tell).  It's lying all the same.  60% of people lie regularly to appear "likeable".  Do we also lie to ourselves?  To God?  

11)  Trust is not something you give, it must be earned.  On both sides.  Has trust been broken?  How can it be healed?

12) 10 things to ask, not to assume: your past, your family, views on sex, your secrets, your expectations about life, your views on money, your faith, on children, boundaries, sins and struggles.  These questions should be reasked over the years in any season of "fall" when the bare branches are coming exposed again, and then worked through.  It's an invitation to know and to be known.  To understand each other more deeply.  

13) Are you in a winter season?  Cold and apathetic?  Find the root cause, discuss it, and come up with an action plan.  How can we touch each other more each day?  Connect verbally?  Why can't we make it a priority?  Address the realities, or at least own them.  Sometimes there are outside factors that are overwhelming (extended caregiving or illness, etc).  But acknowledging them is the start.

January update

It seems like I need to sort my thoughts for the new year a bit here, so this is what I'll do today.  I've been thinking much about goals and directions, or vision if you will; and I kind of get discouraged.  I read a recent blog about it, (I rarely read these anymore these days, but I wondered what a "vision board" was for the new year).  It was so discouraging.  Every time I try to do such things, it blows up in my face somehow or another.  So, it's better just to keep plodding in day in and day out.  I don't even know what our needs or our plans or our visons are for the next year.  I don't know what my husband needs, or my kids need.  Or where the world will be.  Or anything even remotely in that direction.

Romans 7:19 For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do.

What I have noticed over the years, is that we often don't know how things will come to fruition, so how can we even plan or strive to get there?  You notice how I use the word strive.  Yep.  (strive: [verb] to devote serious effort or energy)   I don't have "serious effort or energy".  I wish I did, but then maybe I wouldn't understand God's grace as much as He wants me to.  I barely make it most days.  I can't think about a week ahead, let alone a year.  Does that mean God will not lead me where He wants me to go  just because I don't have a written down list of goals and purpose?  No, of course not.  When I told Greg about the blog, he said, "yeah, a whole bunch of works-based-Baptist-like people, I'm sure".  Which is true.  Many seem to think that somehow good works/intentions will equal righteousness somehow, someday, or that it's their good habits and processes that save their souls and that of their children.  Especially when they throw Jeremiah 29:11 in for their Bible verse that explains it all. Many Bible versions say "a future and a hope" vs. the KJV that says, "expected end".  We just studied this verse in Bible Study in all it's facets, and if you read the chapters before and afterwards, you will see that God knows what He was doing then (saving their souls from their own ignorance and sinfulness) and He's still doing that today, if we want to apply that verse.  The hard things we go through are to learn more of His grace, not to stand on our own feet more and more each day and or to fulfill our to-do list of requests. I talked about this in my Above Rubies post a few years back.  I guess I kind of have an axe to grind with this topic.

James 1:5 If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.

That being said, I want to share how some of our family's prayers have been answered lately, without me ever knowing how they would turn out, or what to specifically pray for.  No intentional-ness here.

1)  Greg's new job.  He had been burned out, frustrated, and unmotivated for many years now.  So, I guess hitting a midlife crisis.  No new Corvettes yet though!  But we had been praying for new direction for him, and he had applied for several machining jobs that he didn't get (in one the guy decided not to retire after all, another G didn't have any millwright experience, etc).  Even though he still enjoyed machining, he felt there were very few options nearby that would expand his skillset any further than where he already was.  He was so patient waiting for God to show the way, and He did.  It turned out we were at our church campout staying next to a couple we kind-of know, when the men were "talking shop" and the job option came up "within the next couple years".  Then it turned into "next couple months" which turned into "next couple weeks".  We give credit to Greg's sister Amy who said that she'd pray for "a door to open for Greg to step into that he couldn't do anything but go through it".  And that's how it turned out to be.  Neither of us had been praying that boldly, so it was a good lesson to do so.  Just as he started the job, the company moved right to Kalama, so that was just an added bonus.  Greg can also see how all his previous jobs, especially the one he had when we first moved to WA have served him so well into what he is doing now.  His boss at Paul Sherman was the toughest he's ever had, but he also grew and learned exponentially like never before or after during that time period (and burned out his adrenals too!)  He also now can stay up later due to not getting up so early any more, but also misses his Fridays off that he's had for the past 10 year.  The weekends seem all to rushed and short!

2) A job for Luke.  We've been praying for options for him for many years now.  A hard to face homeschool reality is that teenage boys shouldn't be home with their moms all day.  Or even other kids' moms (coaches, music teachers, etc). They need to be around men, learning skills from men, and how to be men.  This is a drawback to homeschooling, but can happen in other school settings too, if the teachers are mostly/all female.  Since our kids were unable to work with Dad at his old job, they had to wait until they were 18, or 16 at best to go get a job somewhere (long after it was needed!).  Now with Greg's new job, Luke was able to get himself a part-time job there and is learning all kinds of skills from other real men who are leading by example of what it takes to be a man.  He's also hoping he can get more into learning computer designing with Arrow, but for now is working out in the yard most of the time.   This is a huge answer to prayer, especially with the state of everything being online (stuck at home, on a screen) these days.  We all spend too much time on screens for whatever reason or another.

3) Getting through the current illness affair.  We didn't all get sick, we got well, we stayed home for the whole month of December when you add in the snow days that followed.  It was kind of a relief to quit fearing it and just tackle it head on.  I do realize we could get sick again, and am not off the hook yet, since we are mortals in a fallen world.  I did end up getting quite dehydrated on day 12 which was quite a setback.  I thought I was recovering nicely until I woke up feeling extremely dizzy and lightheaded.  I borrowed a blood pressure cuff from our neighbor, and my pulse and BP were all up 30 points, and even more when I would get up standing vertical.  This was concerning, but I was too dizzy to even think about what to do.  I rested all that day, and hoped I'd feel better the next day, which I didn't.  The first day I was down, Greg had gone back to work, so wasn't here.  The next day was Christmas Eve, so I thought we should probably get it checked out, as I was concerned about blood clots and cardiac changes that often come up later after the virus has passed.  I went to urgent care where my EKG was normal, but the Dr. wanted cardiac labs to ensure I didn't have any other abnormalities going on, since my pulse and BP wouldn't come down.  So, I spent Christmas Eve in the ER getting that done.  It was a blessing in disguise because the ER was quite empty and I was able to get in and out of there in 3 hours rather than the normal 6 hour minimum.  It turned out all labs were normal and that I was just severely dehydrated.  It sounds kind of silly that that is all that it was, but truthfully I have no idea how I was supposed to even suspect it.  I didn't feel like it at all.  I was drinking plenty of soups, broths, teas and electrolyte drinks.  I have found out since then that your body needs 3x the fluids when you are sick, and that water often goes right through if the minerals are out of balance.  It did take a full week before I felt "normal" again (fluid balance when I got up or down took a while to regulate).

I have to admit that during the dizziness time, I was really scared.  The day before the dizziness day, I cried all day.  Everything made me cry, even for no reason I cried.  I couldn't stop and didn't know why (totally abnormal for me).  I hadn't yet paid the bills for the month and kept obsessing about it, although I was too dizzy to go and do it.  I was scared that I'd die and leave Greg with all the things undone that I normally do.  Then I'd talk myself out of it and think about how he and the kids would be fine if I did die because they are now old enough to handle things better than years ago.  And then I'd swing back again to being scared of dying like our friend Christine did, at the mercy of the hospital without anyone at my side during the end.  Part of this came because the day before we got sick, we had been at Bible Study where we were singing Christmas carols around a beautifully decorated tree at a family from church's house.  It was so beautiful that I thought to myself, "this is too good to be true and won't happen again".  I don't know where the thought came from, but it made me wonder if someone would be missing the next time our congregation gathered, and if that someone would be me.  It all sounds ridiculous now that I'm well, but that's where my mind went when I wasn't well.  Trying to run the household from laying on the couch with very literal thinking teenage boys who are capable but can't see what needs to be done was part of it too!  (I took Aconite homeopathic remedy  after all was said and done, and all those irrational fears just disappeared.  I didn't think of it at the time.  Aconite works well on fear/anxiety; past, present or future that are overwhelming a person).

4)  The thankfulness was our humble Christmas.  Because of our illness, we didn't even have Christmas presents bought for the 4 youngest kids yet.  We didn't have our normal Christmas food.  We didn't have any company or go anywhere.  We didn't have any programs or traditions, no caroling either.  We had a poorly decorated but huge tree given by a different neighbor (maybe 10 random decorations, a clump of beads that some child put up without untangling, and some lights).  We were thankful to God that I got out of the hospital and could come home that night (about 6pm).  We were thankful for food dropped off in previous days by friends and family.  We were thankful we were all home together.  Thankful for a neighbor man who saw an Amazon package on our driveway (while we were at the hospital) and he was concerned it might get stolen so he called Greg and asked where he could safely hide it until we got home (it was a Christmas gift from grandparents).  Thankful for a warm wood stove fire.  Thankful for our kids who didn't mind that they had meager scrounged gifts, and were so forgiving and loving anyhow.  I love their unselfish hearts, and it helped my guilt somewhat to see them genuinely not concerned about material things, but instead be thankful just that Mom came home.  I hope I learned more about recalibrating our priorities, but I probably won't.  Somehow we as parents want to make Christmas perfect for our kids, but in doing so, we lose the true spirit of it all.  I'm not sure how in actuality to keep the proper balance.

5) Family and friends.  I hate to be on the receiving end of help, but after this sickness experience, I'm so thankful that we have such loving extended family and friends.  My idea would have it that I'm always giving, helping, arranging, and not be receiving, but that's just my own pride rearing it's ugly head.  It was very humbling to have people bringing meals, offering meds and vitamins, nebulizers, BP cuffs and pulse ox monitors in case we needed them.  I know plenty of people were praying for us.  Sometimes I do wonder what would happen in a real crisis when we don't have immediate family nearby, but this experience told me that we do have good friends and we do have a loving church family that would watch out for us.  I know it's awkward when we're sick to acknowledge it out loud, but it's also good to let others know what's going on so they can pray.  The balance between drumming up drama (I know enough folks who do this often!) and actually asking for help because you truly need it.  I never want to bother others, but it was a huge blessing to know so many were watching out for us, and standing on guard to help however they could.

6) Music lessons and sports, along with our teachers and the coaches.  I'm so thankful for these.  Without them, I think I would go mad.  They engage in my kids, believe in them, give them confidence, and hold them to a higher standard than I am able to.  They also give me a much needed break now and then!

This quote below has been on my mind so much lately too.  So many hurts, so much confusion, so many sinful habits, so many, many problems in this world.  It overwhelms me pretty much every day.  But, I am learning how to not ruminate on other people's problems better, and to keep my mind in better places.  Forgiveness was part of that healing (Eph 4:32), taking my thoughts captive was another (2 Cor 10:5), but also removing myself from the destructive talk and behaviors has been necessary too.  I feel guilty for it, but I would be consumed if I stuck around.

Mental illness has also been in my forefront lately too.  It's so hard to know what direction to go, how to set boundaries, how to get actual help and healing, how to sit back and just pray, how to support those immediately involved, etc.  And how to forgive the decades of hurt is hard too, how to hold the unwell person accountable without being their skapegoat, and how to not get sucked into the vortex of the illness.  How to truthfully acknowledge the problems while still "putting the best construction on all they do" as our catechism instructs.  How to actually get a diagnosis is the hardest of all.  The mental health system in our country sucks.  Totally sucks.  People who are sick don't know they are sick, and because of privacy laws the family has no say in the getting of help, or even getting the sick person to someone who can help.  And then they just medicate and medicate, and don't ever get to the root of the problem.  The system also likes to place lots of blame on bad parenting and encourages victimhood, instead of moving forward with healing from where we are today.  It's good to acknowledge the past, but it's not good to stay there.  We can't go back, we can only heal and move forward from here.  It's just hard, just plain hard.

Friendship webinar summary

In the first week, she clarified principles of Godly friendship.  How Jesus is the glue that should hold them together, but that He is also the solvent that separates friends if they are not willing to accept the authority God gives in His Word.  Christian friendship should be open, glad obedience to Christ and all of His Word.  She encouraged us to not to hurry into defining friendship, as these things take time.  Is the friendship serving Christ, or serving each other?  Are we expecting too much, or do we have fairytale ideals of what our friends should be or do for us (and forget that we are all sinful people in a sinful world)?  Do we recognize that our friends are not our "emotional slaves" to meet our perceived needs?  Does this friendship honor God?  Am putting more on my friends than they should bear, and is it pulling them away from them minding their own station of serving their own husbands and children?  Are we becoming (or already are) busybodies, sharing information not meant to be shared about our husbands, children, family and friends?  Is our time spent with our friends staring into each others faces and telling our tales of woe, or are we spent industriously looking forward together, serving the Lord?  Good questions, of which I definitely don't have the answers for.  Each situation is very different, and wisdom is needed discerning our own selfish hearts as well as receiving each other as friends and what that truly means.

1 Tim 5:13 And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not.

If your friend said to you, "Since we are both Christians, let's see what the Bible says about X, Y, Z (problem of yours)."  How would that fly with your venting session or coffee dates?  Do you really want to know what the Bible says, or do you just want "support" for your side of the issues you are facing?  I'm totally guilty of too much listening to problems and not sharing enough true Biblical guidance.  I'm guilty of too much whining too.  I have honestly feared the friendship heading south if I opposed the other party (which has happened, just as predicted), I've feared people thinking I'm self-righteous and "holier-than-thou".  I've also feared that I'm not being "supportive" and I regretfully admit that I absolutely dread conflict (although I do like a healthy debate!)  Even when I've disagreed with someone on the inside, I usually have given a generic "smile & nod" response because I don't want to rock the boat with ideas that I know wouldn't be taken well at all.  I've also been known to be so shocked at what other people think is ok, that I have no idea what to say to their random ideas.  Late in bed that night I often come up with a healthy response, but by then it's too late.  

She also advises against what she calls "fishhook friends". People who give you complements ("you're the only friend who understands me" "you are so unique in such and such way", etc), gifts and do niceties for you, and in return expect you to be their friend.  They nab your with their tricks (could be unconsciously or consciously), and then hook you and reel you in.  We are not obligated to be friends with anyone, no matter how much they may want or expect it.  We should be kind, friendly and courteous to all people, but we should choose our true friends carefully and judiciously.

The second week was spent talking about telos (goals, end point) of godly friendship.  This would be heaven.  Godly friendship should help us on our journey to get to heaven.  So, this means that to be or have a friendship, our friends should be on their way too.  This also means that both sides believe the authority of the Bible and are willing to proclaim them to each other.  The whole Bible, not just the parts that suit us too.  The refining, convicting, challenging, repenting, growing in grace parts too.  Biblical friendship is not resting easy in a life of ease and getting what we think we deserve, but it is a hard journey and we need sturdy traveling companions.  She likens it to Pilgrims Progress (and I'll add in Hinds Feet In High Places too).  We have hard stuff to face, but we also have the Word to guide us each and every day.  We need friends who will give us gospel truths, not just tickle our ears with what we want to hear.  We also always have Christ the Comforter with us at all times, so we truly are never alone.  We should not be looking for our friends to meet the needs that only Christ is meant to fill- growing in grace and wisdom, to help us understand God, to guide you through your marriage and parenting challenges, to be "with" you at all times, etc.

She also reminded us that we should always be serving Christ, not our friend.  We should always honor God not man.  Christian friends should~

-hold us accountable for our sin

-help us in personal growth

-help us in applying our faith

-growing in Christ-like-ness

-encouraging & edifying each other

-not indulging in bad attitudes, complaining, envy or jealousy

-carrying our own burdens to Christ, not dumping on our friends

She clarifies that most of these things should be done by our example, we don't need to try to be the Holy Spirit for our friends as if they don't have it themselves.  We all have enough sins and foibles to work on ourselves, let alone think we can somehow know more than our friends about what's best for them.   She gives a word picture of Jesus telling our friend that He washes away her sins, but then there we are standing behind Him saying, "you forgot about that one" and "but she does this and this too".  As if Jesus doesn't know what He's doing, and needs our help to point out a few more sins and failings in our dear sister.  I find this a very fine line, because honestly very few people want to hear about their shortcomings from their friends (myself included), no matter how damaging they are to those watching or how good the friendship is.  Shouldn't we all be willing to improve our relationships?  Is our pride that precious to us?  How do we actually go about "speaking the truth in love" in real life and have it taken to heart instead of offensively/defensively?  

Psalm 139:23-24 Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts:  And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting..

Week 3 was spent focusing on the pitfalls that are common to friendship.  She reiterated that a companion on the way to heaven is not equal to an emotional caretaker.  Big difference.  She encouraged us to opt into hard conversations, when needed, and not avoid them due to people pleasing or fear.  But also ask, why am I confronting this person?  Is it to prove I'm right?  Prove them wrong?  Or am I lovingly concerned that they are in sin, walking away from the Lord, or indulging in their own desires too much?

Psalm 119:63-65 I am a companion of all them that fear thee, and of them that keep thy precepts. The earth, O Lord, is full of thy mercy: teach me thy statutes. Thou hast dealt well with thy servant, O Lord, according unto thy word.

The two pitfalls she spent the most time on was 

1) Idolatry- is the relationship serving God or each other? Are we trying to please or placate (to soothe or mollify especially by concessions, appease) others?  Is the focus on worshiping self (my wants, needs, desires, wishes, ideas, philosophies)? This is so common in our world today, but should not be in the life of a Christian.  Are we clear and loving, but unbudgible in our willingness to follow the Bible in our lives?  Do we placate them because of fear of emotional outbursts of our friends?  These are all forms of idolatry, which is the breaking of the 1st commandment.   Serious stuff.  

2) Not agreeing with God about the order of the world- (Romans 1)  Do we believe that marriage is between 1 man + 1 woman?  There is not a place for an extra "emotional" partner.  God made marriage this way so that our husbands will push against our sinful weaknesses, rather than indulge them like a woman with similar weaknesses may do.  She encouraged us to never get involved in other people's marriage issues, but always "take it up the chain" (of command, so that the proper people may seek to help the situation).  Don't feel honored if someone comes to you with their marriage issues, get out now!  Let your friends know that you are not a safe place for unloading marriage gripes and complaining.  That you are never a refuge for sin (either party), and that you'll do something about it right away (talk to a pastor or counselor, call the police, whatever chain of command seems fitting).  Especially never listen to one party when the other party isn't present.  We all tend to mix up our real needs from our perceived needs, and this is where it gets messy.  No one knows the truth.  Everyone involved is going to have a different perception and a different story.  Opt out of other people's drama.

Iron sharpens iron, and thus we can truly be friends if we encourage and edify one another, not indulging in their sinful tendencies, while mortifying our own sins each day too.

The last week was spent on the building blocks of good friendship, the things not so often talked about in our world today.  The biggest way to find a good friend is to be one.  We can only control ourselves, so asking God to show us our own failings, sins and foibles will do more for building Christian friendships than anything else.  We need to courageously root out our own sins before we can reach out in love to each other.

Luke 7:47 Wherefore I say unto thee, Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much: but to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little.

C.S. Lewis says in The Four Loves, "We picture lovers face to face but friends side by side; their eyes look ahead, that is why those pathetic people who simply ‘want friends’ can never make any. The very condition of having friends is that we should want something else besides friends.” Friendship must be about something— some common interest, “even if it were only an enthusiasm for dominoes or white mice. Those who have nothing can share nothing; those who are going nowhere can have no fellow-travelers". (source)

Our friendships should be without any strings attached, without expectations (as these will always get dashed), and constantly open handed.  Give without expecting anything in return, even loyalty.  Notice if your heart gets clingy to someone and repent of it.  No one is expected to give you anything.  Burn any mental notebooks about what others should or shouldn't do for me, and don't be hasty in your judgments of others.  Friendship with specific expectations is like a loan shark who hasn't been paid back yet.  We should also not be usurers, only giving with some sort of return profit in mind.  It's "hellish behavior" (her words, not mine!)  If you struggle with these things, ask God to make you more generous, and be honest with your own heart of your intentions.  We give because Christ gave freely to us.  Not for any other reasons.  Be friendly about things, not just friendship itself.  Have new ideas, be always willing to learn.  Jordan Peterson's Rule 9: "Assume That The Person You Are Listening To Might Know Something You Don’t" applies here.

“Hold everything in your hands lightly, otherwise it hurts when God pries your fingers open.”-. Corrie ten Boom.

At the end of each session she did a Q&A session, and I didn't write any of them down but the last one.  In it, was asked if it's ever appropriate to share parenting or marriage advice.  She did say that yes it was at times, but to get your husband's permission first and have him present if possible.  Same with teens or older kids.  If you want to break their trust by sharing their sins or something that might shame or embarrass them, get their permission first.  Little kids don't seem to care so much, but use discretion.  Would I have wanted this said about me when I was a child?

All in all, lots of good, convicting and encouraging information.  There's some repenting I'm needing to do as well.  I'm still mulling it over, as I can see that it's not cut and dry situations.  Every friendship is different, and we each have different trust levels with each other, so what might be appropriate for one might not be for another.  She said time and again to "focus on Christ" and "seek Christ" but I don't know how that looks in a boots-on-the-ground sort of way.  If Christ meets all our needs, then why do we even need or want friends?  He is the Comforter and is always with us, but somehow we need the Body of Christ in real people here on earth too.  I'm having a hard time separating the different and same aspects of each.  

A few new book reviews~

Breath by James Nestor was excellent as far as the importance of how we breathe, and the many aspects of how most of us are breathing poorly.  I started learning about proper breathing from different sources over the last few years.  When James was in wrestling, his coach taught him all about keeping breathing controlled when in tricky situations, and how to calm their brains down when being pinned down.  How to reset their minds through calm breathing to be ready to make a comeback at a moment when defeat is quite probable.  How not to be a victim of his circumstances due to hyperventilating/anxiety.  Important stuff for all of us, in various other situations.  I also learned about mouth breathing vs nose breathing in regards to jaw formation in kids, and why so many kids these days need braces when proper breathing would solve the same problem, but takes much more time and has to be implemented younger, before the jaws grow.   I also learned more about it during speech therapy, as much speech (good or bad) is related to how we breathe.  Tongue/lip tie release, myofascial release, and proper tongue placement is key to good speech.  And when your tongue is positioned right, you'll breathe right.  Is your tongue resting on the roof of your mouth at all times, if you're not talking or eating?  It should be!

This book was more about one man's quest to find out how to breathe properly, and the journey it took him on.  He was his own guinea pig for all sorts of trials and theories on breathing, and he put them all to the test.  He ended finding out that the way we breathe is far more important than we think, and that we can do something simple to improve our health.  Breathe through our nose, intentionally for starters and then it'll become natural over time.  We can build new jaw bone and change the shapes of our faces even as adults after all these years of bad habits.  

There's also a new batch of dentists who focus on this, called orthrotropics, which means changing the shape of the growing jaw rather using braces/retainers to correct it after the fact (orthodontics).  There are many factors involved in the process for causes and effects (breast vs bottle feeding, sucking thumb/pacifier use, eating too many soft foods, etc).  The long and short though, is that we all should be breathing through our noses and not our mouths, day and night.  It just takes retraining yourself to do so if you don't.  Many people who don't, either have a tongue/lip tie or allergies causing the nose to become plugged, but this is solvable too with new habits.   

Another reason for the need for nose breathing is for nitric oxide.  To quote Dr. Steven Lin who wrote The Dental Diet, "Nitric oxide is produced in the nasal sinuses by specific enzymes. It’s instrumental in delivering oxygen around the body efficiently because it regulates blood flow. When it mixes with air delivered to the lung, it increases arterial oxygen tension and reduces blood pressure.  Nitric oxide also has a vital role deep within your body’s cells. There, it influences platelet function, immunity and the nervous system. It’s also important in homeostasis and the regulation of mitochondrial function. It’s produced elsewhere in the body but the biggest contributor is the minute amounts inhaled through the nose into the lungs." (source)

Here are some videos that he mentions in the book on how to learn to breath better. It just takes a little practice to get into thinking that way (and maybe a few note cards taped up to remind yourself).  Some people even tape their mouths shut to remind themselves to keep their mouths shut while they sleep.  Suit yourself!

The next book is called The Genie in Your Genes and it was way over my head as well.  Although I am interested in epigenetics, I'm not interested in all the chemistry involved in making conclusions.  I wouldn't be a good researcher as I just want the end findings and the whys.  I'm too impatient to put in the time to figure it all out.  Since most of it was over my head, I'm just going to review a quote from elsewhere below.  I'm also not sure how this all plays in as a Christian.  He talks much about beliefs of different religions in the book, but I'm not going to say that the power of all of them is equal.  Praying to different gods/God is not going to elicit the same responses, although belief in a "higher being" is known to be more helpful than believing in none.  Only Jesus can free us from guilt and wash away our sins.  No other God proclaims "it is finished"; all other gods demand works, good deeds, and endless lists of more and more to do to please or appease them.  So I don't think you can categorize them all in the same class.

"Your genes respond to your thoughts, emotions and beliefs. The way you use your mind shapes your brain, turning genes on and off in ways that can dramatically affect your health and wellbeing. In this best-selling, award-winning book, researcher Dawson Church reveals the exciting applications of the new science of Epigenetics (epi=above, i.e. control above the level of the gene) to healing. Citing hundreds of scientific studies, and telling the stories of dozens of people who have used his ideas for their own healing, he shows how you can apply these discoveries in your own life. He explains how electromagnetic energy flows in your body and affects your cells, and how the new fields of energy medicine and energy psychology can help cases that are beyond the reach of conventional medicine. He shows how your hormonal, neurological, connective tissue, and neurotransmitter systems all work in harmony to conduct a coordinated flow of information throughout your body. As you take conscious control of the process, you produce a positive effect on your health, becoming an "epigenetic engineer" of your own wellbeing. Practical and scientific, this book has transformed the lives of tens of thousands of people. This new edition is updated with the latest research and clinical breakthroughs."  (source)

Nutrient Power is the last book today.  This book is an excellent resource for any sorts of mental illness, including autism, ADHD and Alzheimer's, which he has complete chapters on.  He worked in prisons for years and ran millions of samples on over 30,000 patients.  This guy has done his homework, and although it's mostly over my head with all the chemistry and terms that I don't know yet, but was a good read.  The long and short of it can be listed below from another review here (on their website). 

"THE REPEAT OFFENDERS: For several years I was perplexed by the repeated presence of certain biochemical imbalances in completely different mental disorders.  For example, copper overload is present in most cases of hyperactivity, learning disability, post-partum depression, autism, and paranoid schizophrenia. In another example, undermethylation is often present in antisocial personality disorder, clinical depression, anorexia, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and schizoaffective disorder.  The primary repeat offenders are copper overload, B-6 deficiency, zinc deficiency, methyl/folate imbalances, pyrrole disorder, and amino acid imbalances.  Eventually I realized these factors had something in common --a direct role in the synthesis or functioning of a major neurotransmitter.

"With respect to mental health, the nutrient SAMe is a natural reuptake inhibitor for serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine.  Folic acid is a natural reuptake enhancer that can combat excessive dopamine activity.  The individual levels of methyl and folate in the brain are not as important as the methyl/folate ratio . . ."

He talks of how depression can be from undermethylation or overmethylation as well as copper overload and pyrrole disorder (low B6 and zinc), as can schizophrenia, so the treatment isn't always going to be the same.

Videos of William Walsh (author of the book) on the subject.

Chart of how the symptoms overlap and are specific to each root cause.

Here's a great chart to compare undermethylated to overmethylated symptoms.

Here's the Walsh Institute website where you can find a doctor to test for all these nutrient levels and see what the root problem actually is.  Randomly prescribing medications is like shooting in the dark, without knowing where the target is.  I just talked to my friend who is a Psych RN at the local VA hospital and she said that psych nursing is the most vague thing she's ever experienced.  The meds get changed so often that you never know what is coming or going.  That's why so many patients never get better.  She said it's endlessly frustrating to have repeat patients in the revolving door of severe illness to moderate wellness because no one looks into root causes.  Never remission or complete wellness. So sad.  

Side note:  Dr Kelly Brogan and Dr. Carol Banyas are two holistic psychiatrists who also use nutrition to heal mental illness, if you want more resources.  They both were convicted about the uses of medications and knew there had to be a better way to get better.  Dr. Banyas is a spokesperson for True Hope vitamins and has several videos about her experience using them.

Homeopathy Primer

You remember how everyone got into the essential oil craze a few years back?  How it was a cure all, a panacea for whatever ailed you?  That's how I feel about homeopathy.  It's been a much longer, much more skeptical journey for me, but now I'm on it.  Locked in tight!

Back when we lived in AZ, one of our friends at church was going to Naturopathic school and she told me about it first of all.  She talked how it was the best thing for curing children's ailments, as it was so gentle and harmless.  I had no kids at the time, so didn't pursue it further.  Just listened and stored it away somewhere.  I also had no idea what it was, and wasn't into finding out either.  I was still wholly steeped in mainstream medicine.  Then we moved up here, and later James was born.  He was covered in eczema and we tried so many things trying to make him feel better.  While on a trip to AZ, we took him to see this same friend (who was now a Dr.) and she prescribed 1 little bottle of homeopathic pellets for him.  Pellets the size of chia seeds.   "Give him 3 pellets, once a week" was the dose, if I recall.  Huh?  That's all?  So we tried it.  For maybe 2 months.  No change.  We did phone consults and she kept telling us to wait longer.  But, since I didn't know much about it, and the phone consults were getting expensive with no visual results, we stopped them when the bottle ran out.  And figured it was just another thing that didn't work.  Even though she explained to us that healing came from the inside out ("like peeling back layers on an onion"), I didn't believe in it at all.  So we kept on trying other things instead.  That was the end of that road.

Many years later we went to another couple of Naturopaths who also prescribed them for various ailments, both acute or chronic.  We then experienced almost miraculous results, yet they were gentle with no side effects or expensive supplements to endlessly buy.  Cheap too?  OK, I'm in.  This was around the time of the essential oil craze, and our Naturopathic Dr sold his remedies for $4-6/each.  I surely couldn't buy a name brand essential oil at that cost, so I couldn't justify not trying them for that cost either.  So we did.  We didn't have all successes, but the one biggie convinced me that I at least needed to learn more about how they work and what they can do.  So I asked lots of questions at my appointments, and I got all the books that the library had, and I started reading.

Homeopathy uses "vital force" to heal.  This is the energy within us that keeps us alive. Without it we would be dead.  All healing in homeopathy uses kinetic energy (energy from motion, of which the remedies are shaken/succussed) to strengthen our vital force.  It's kind of obscure to describe, but somehow works.

Now I've been on the homeopathic learning path for about 5 years, and I have yet to have met anyone else who knows anything or cares a hoot about them, other than my doctors.  So that's kind of lame as I get so excited when I learn new things and I can't really tell anyone because no one "gets it".  But that's ok.  I still get excited.  I do have a few online groups that are as excited as I am, and I have learned a ton from them, and it's also place to ask my many questions.

So, what intrigues me so much?  Well, first of all you can heal stuff with them.  All kinds of stuff!  Weird, unusual, "I'll never tell anyone about this" kind of stuff.  Acute, chronic, constitutional, miasmic, animal care, you name it!

Acute would mean affecting or afflicting you right now, and started less than 3 months ago.  Bladder infections, sore throats, smashed fingers (treated one of these this week), burns, coughs, etc. But also emotional things like acute grief, anger, nervous about a job interview, etc.

Chronic means something you've had longer than 3-6 months.  This can be lifetime symptoms (maybe like insomnia or noise sensitivity when people chew their food, or long term hip pain or breathing troubles), or just things you've been stuck with for a long time that you haven't found a solution to yet.  Or didn't think there was one.

Constitutional means more personality quirks and foibles (a minor flaw or shortcoming in character or behavior).  Things like OCD or an inability to express your emotions well, or being an overachiever and burning yourself out, or addictions of any sort.  Things you think you are stuck with because you think were born that way, and maybe you were.  But homeopathy can heal even those.  It can balance whatever is imbalanced so those things don't have the power over you that they've had.  Self-esteem too low? Yep.  Self-esteem too inflated?  Yep.  Either way it can be balanced.  Which leads to...

Miasms.  These are generational characteristics that come down through family lines.  They are not DNA, so they are not genetic; but seem to be passed down more through the microbiome (gut health or illness) from parents to children and on to their children because you all live in the same houses and share life together.  These can be "tendencies" or addictions or illness weaknesses, and can even be healed from several generations back, whether it be disease or trauma that happened several generations ago.  Great grandfather fought in the Revolutionary war and you struggle with anxiety? Check.  Great grandmother had TB, and now your family has extensive lung troubles?  Check.  Fascinating, hey?!
(More info on miasms here.  Please read part 1 & 2)

This book has been really exciting.  I just want to fix everyone!  Starting with myself though.  I'm still quite a newbie, so am just experimenting on myself, letting go of baggage, dealing with my grief, learning boundaries for my own health.  It's caused me to do a fearless moral inventory (AA step 4), which isn't fun.  At all.  Being honest with ourselves is the only way to healing though.  We all have skeletons in the closet somewhere somehow.  Coping mechanisms we've picked up over the years, baggage that we've never dealt with properly, forgiveness for ourselves for the sins against us, or asking forgiveness of others who we've sinned against.  Hard stuff and I'm not done yet.  Still moving forward though.

"One does not surrender a life in an instant. 

That which is lifelong can only be surrendered in a lifetime." 

~Elisabeth Elliot

Here's some of the things that the Emotional Healing book covers.  Yup.  Digs pretty deep.  Another book on the same subject that comes highly recommended is called Getting Back on Track by Jill Turland.  I have not read it yet, but hope to soon.

Here's a couple of the books below that I've acquired over the years.  The library has plenty, but I've found that having my own reference books at home written by various authors is most helpful (it can add to the confusion also though, when they contradict each other).  I love to highlight stuff too, so that isn't good to do on library books!

This book by Sue Meyer is great, as it gives in depth info on so many remedies (there's around 5,000 total).  Sue has a podcast called Homeopathy for Mommies as well and she talks a lot, so you have to learn as she talks.  I much prefer learning by reading, so don't do best listening to her as it takes far more time than skimming a book does to find what I need.  She also has it organized by symptoms so you can compare them better when trying to find the right remedy.

This book is my favorite, by Joette Calabrese. (sorry for the sideways pic) She's the homeopath who I've learned the most from, as she shares the most free information online.  She has a very thorough website chock full of free info, writes regularly for the Weston A. Price Foundation, has classes you can take and then her book shown above, along with every Monday she posts a video on a new remedy.  They can all be found on YouTube or her FB page.  I'd absolutely love to take all her classes, but right now my bandwidth is pretty limited for time and learning so I'll just stick to my book learning.  Someday... 

Joette uses a different kind of homeopathy dosing methodology, which is called the Banerji protocols, which are a honed in system formulated by the Banerji doctors in India.  She has trained under them and they treat thousands of patients, sometimes each day and needed a more streamlined process for seeing more patients, as well as making it cost effective for the lower income ones.  So, they came up with protocols that are used in a systematic format according to symptoms.  These protocols work approximately 80% of the time, and the rest of the time another method (called Classical homeopathy) is needed to treat the patient's symptoms.  Classical homeopathy takes a very thorough patient history and assessment (2 hours usually) and then the Homeopath chooses a remedy based on the results.  The protocols are based on knowing a diagnosis and giving a basic remedy protocol for that.  Both work, it's just more what you want for what you're dealing with.

Christina Villacorta is another Banerji protocol homeopath with lots of good info.  You can also look at my extensive list of pins on Pinterest if you're just looking for something specific, or just want to see what kind of stuff is treatable.

Right now we are working on some symptoms with one of our kids.  Our Naturopath chose 2 remedies this last round (she uses the Classical method).  She put about 5 little pellets in a little paper envelope and her dosing instructions were to take the first packet when we got home, and then wait 2 weeks.  Then take the next 3 little packets (a different remedy) once per week.  The end.  Sounds too simple.  But the last round we did it, she hit the nail on the head and the symptoms became less frequent and then changed format (thus the need to move to a new remedy).  This is the healing process as the illness/symptoms/challenges are slowly being worked out of the body to a state of balance and health.  So cool huh?!

Now comes the tricky part.  How to know what remedy to choose, what dose, how often, what are signs that it's working or not working?  And what's an aggravation?  That's where I wish I knew more information.  These are all ambiguous questions with vague answers.  It becomes second nature with lots of practice, but for us newbies it can be like drinking from a fire house to figure out all the rules to follow and then all the exceptions to it.  Kind of like learning English as a second language, I would suppose!  BTW, An aggravation is what happens as your body is healing and old symptoms come back that are being pushed out of the body to get rid of.  Eczema returns as your body is healing the root cause of it from way back in childhood after steroids or meds that suppressed it for years, or it switched to more serious symptoms with the same root cause.  Often eczema turns into asthma, as it settles in the lungs.  Skin issues are the most common aggravations, but usually clear up pretty quickly.  

That's about all for now.  Feel free to ask me any questions, and I'd be glad to either answer them or find the answer for them from someone more experienced than myself (more likely!)