How to Raise Well Behaved Kids

Disclaimer:  First of all, I don't know (even anywhere near) all the answers.  My kids act up on a regular basis.  They have all the traits that you find in "normal" kids.  But, here's some conclusions that I've come to in observing their behavior.  They're still young, and have many years to go before leaving home, so things may change!  But, there are a few things I've discovered (mostly by accident) that can really shape their behavior for good and for bad.

I can see why people only want 1-2 kids, because these things are commonplace in most homes, leading kids to behave naughtily when it isn't "just kids" or the child's fault at all.  This drives the parent bonkers (the excess noise, recklessness, and fighting is unbearable).  If my kids were like this every day, I'd have quit long ago too!

1) Sugar.  That evil villain sugar.  Somehow it turns off their ears (well, they can still hear, but the messages don't get to their brain).  They can't stay on task.  They can't do what they're asked.  They get whiny.  One certain little girl can't sit still and cries much more...all day.  She also can't fall asleep at night (because her legs wiggle so bad) and she wets the bed.  We've had 2 profound instances where this was so blatantly obvious, that you can't deny it was the sugar (and chocolate combined, in our case).  When one of our boys was 1 1/2, we bought him chocolate milk.  You know, the cute little cartons?  Yes, well, he drank it and was buzzing around the house non-stop until 1 a.m.  (a good 6 hours) And I mean buzzing.  Last summer we gave a different 1 year old a bit of a fudgesicle off of the one I was eating.  One small, nickel-sized bite before bed.  This little guy (who normally slept most nights) fell asleep as usual at 8, but within the hour was back awake, and proceeded to buzz around the house for 6 hours.  That's 9 p.m. to 3 a.m.  From one little bite.  Coincidence?  I think not.  This past weekend we went camping, and the kids all had more sugar than necessary (well, we all did!) and it's now Tuesday and the kids are finally starting to get back to normal behavior.  Just not worth the "fun" of some yummy treats, although I always try to convince myself that it won't matter that much.

Last week we were visiting some family, who repeatedly commented on how good our kids were, and what a pleasure to have around (unlike their unruly grand-kids and great-grand-kids).  Well, after an afternoon there (and full doses of pop, ice cream and cookies) our kids were also a nightmare on the ride home.  Kicking the seats, crying, whining, fighting and the works.  If only they knew that they likely bring on alot of the kid's bad behavior with the overabundance of sweets offered.

2)  TV/videos/electronic games.  Yep, somehow that turns kids into belligerent brats.  They somehow think they don't have to listen to their parents any more and think that they own the show.  One little boy in our house actually kicked me in the leg when I tried to turn off a video on him one time (they had even already watched the movie and it was running through a second time by accident when I turned it off).  That sweet little boy who would never think of doing such a thing to his mother.  They seem to get so engrossed in it that reality fades into oblivion and their "dream world" becomes reality.  Because of this, strictly limiting screen time is of utmost importance. (like 15-30 min/ week maximum!)  Sounds extreme, but if I get lazy and let them have more, I get the Jekyll & Hyde effect.  Which I don't care for at all!  The only exception to this is documentaries.  They are hard to get addicted to, so we do let them watch them if given an option.  Plus, they're learning while watching so it's a win/win situation.

The rest is easy.  Let them know expectations before you get somewhere (grocery shopping, church, doctor's office, etc.) and the consequences for not following instructions.  Lots of hugs and cuddles to keep their love tanks full (it's often surprising how much bad behavior is just a need for attention).  Praise the good, deal with the bad immediately.  Try not to whine or nag or cajole or bribe or yell.  Never spank when they (or you) are hungry or tired, or you are angry.  When you see other kids acting up, remind your own what will happen if they ever act that way (this works amazingly well!)  And your kids will be a pleasure for you and others to have around!  Any more things that work for you??

One last thought from my a friend's facebook today:

"my goal is not to have 'good' children, but passionate children, given to His kingdom and His cause–even as the disciples gave their lives for Jesus’ kingdom and cause." -sally clarkson

I love this. It's not that I don't think we should have well mannered, well behaved children, I do. BUT the world has children like that. Our goal is to raise disciples for Christ! To raise children who love the Lord with all their hearts. Besides, children who love the Lord with all their heart seek to be good and well mannered not for the praise of man/their parents but for His honor and glory.  ~Katie LaPierre

Blood sugar and it's Long Reaching Effects

One of the reasons I looked into Trim Healthy Mama was for blood sugar stabilization.  I've been intrigued by what makes it go up and down, how important (or unimportant) it is, and how it affects our overall day.  So, I'll try to sum up in a nutshell what I've learned from the book, from their facebook page, and from my own experience.

Maintaining stable blood sugar is probably the most important thing to healthy lifestyle and ideal health.  Fluctuations lead to diabetes (uncontrolled blood sugar in pregnancy or not), heart disease, tooth decay, and many other ailments.  It's why we crave carbs or sugars when we're feeling low energy or tired.  The sugars give a quick boost of glucose which gives an instant "high" but then we crash and need another if we don't back that up with something more substantial (protein).  Many women on the THM facebook page have eliminated or greatly reduced their blood sugar meds since starting on the plan (and lost weight too).  So encouraging!

So, the more stable we can keep our blood sugar, the more we can prevent these highs and lows. 
This is one of the main reasons of lack of weight loss in those trying (become familiar with the term "insulin resistant").   This is also especially important in pregnancy where blood sugar more dramatically goes up and down (too much up leads to gestational diabetes, big babies (much higher rate of C-section) and lack of energy in the mother).

How can we prevent blood sugar ups and downs and create a more stable environment?

-Eat low-carb breads/pastas instead of refined carbs (strictly limit white flour, white pasta, white sugar, white "veggies" (potatoes, corn)) and eat ones with more fiber.  Fiber reduces the glycemic index (how fast your blood sugar goes up), so always try to add fiber if you are eating carbs.

-Always eat protein with your carbs.  If you want bread, eat some nut butter or a fried egg on it/with it.  If you eat apple pie, eat a piece of cheese with it, or eat it after a meal.  Never eat carbs without a lot of protein.

-Drink kefir or yogurt instead of milk.  Culturing dairy eats up the lactose (milk sugar) which also raises blood sugar, as well as it makes the vitamins and minerals more available.

-Use healthy non-sugars to replace sugar.  Start experimenting with stevia, xylitol, erythritol and other sweeteners that don't raise blood sugar (not Splenda or Aspartame or other artificial ones!).  Honey and maple syrup are natural but are horrible for blood sugar.  Use in small doses.  Don't be fooled by agave nectar either.  Sounds healthy but it's more highly processed with chemicals than HFCS.

How does blood sugar fluctuations cause tooth decay?  When our blood sugar fluctuates, our body has to pull calcium, magnesium and phosphorus out of our bones and teeth to stabilize the sugars in our blood.  When this is done many times each day, you can just imagine the results.  Yep, gum disease, cavities and bone loss.  Most American's use up more of those minerals than they ever replace, leading to many types of health challenges.  Here's an excellent article that explains it further.  http://health.tipsdiscover.com/how-can-blood-sugar-affect-your-teeths/

One of the best ways to avoid the high blood sugar vicious cycle is to make sure you get enough protein each day.  When your body is nourished with good protein, the need for carbs and sugars goes way down.  Getting a good protein meal or snack every 3 hours (2 if you're pregnant or nursing) is a great start.  When your body is getting sufficient fuel from protein, those carb cravings go away (and your energy will be sustained rather than high and low) and you'll gain less weight.  I like to loosely follow the Brewer diet during pregnancy, as many complications can be avoided by following it.  You'll be surprised at how much protein they recommend, but I've known numerous moms who have been able to lower their blood pressure and sugar by following it. (And gotten off of bed rest which they thought they were destined to).

http://www.drbrewerpregnancydiet.com/id96.html   You'll also see a good amount of healthy fats added in there too.  Good fats also stabilize blood sugar, so make sure you're not avoiding them!  (coconut oil, fish oils, butter, olive oil, etc)

I've also found that having a protein snack before bed (and in the middle of the night often too) is necessary while pregnant.  Growing a baby is hard work, and we need all the nutrients we can get (without too much extra poundage which comes from carb intake without protein!)

Sources to reduce carb intake in breads/pasta:  make/buy sourdough (the real deal, not just flavored that way, as the sourdough eats up the quick burning carbs), Dreamfields pasta (sold at Walmart, has extra fiber added to make it low glycemic, low-carb tortillas (most stores carry them, look for 6-10 net carbs, add oat fiber or coconut or almond flour to baking to bring up fiber and protein and reduce carb intake, soak old-fashioned oatmeal overnight and then boil (no quick or instant; the longer the soaking/cooking, the longer it takes to burn)

Any ideas you'd like to add?  What works for you?

New baby ponderings

We have recently made it known to family and friends that we are expecting baby #5.  Although the feedback has been positive, I realize that we're entering "big(ger) family" territory.  And that many people are uncomfortable with this (especially those not used to many children).  I've started to wrap my own mind around what will become the new normal, and am finally getting used to the idea myself.  

To be honest, I've never been a baby lover.  I'm not one of those people that just HAS to hold everyone's baby.  I don't get "baby fever" as some women claim.  Nor do I even enjoy the first year of their life at all.  Well, maybe I would if they didn't cry all.the.time. Like mine seem to do.  I actually find those first 2 years very stressful (until they sleep through the night and all molars are in), and feel like I'm on 9-1-1 alert all the time.  I'm frazzled and feel even more inadequate than I do at other times, and then my husband and children get the brunt of that.

So, why have more?  I hold onto a few thoughts that sustain me and give me perspective when things are rough.  First of all, it's not about me.  It's not about what I want/don't want/like/don't like/think I can handle/ or anything that slightly resembles my desires.  It's about serving my God and living a life for Him and reaping the blessings He bestows on me, which in this part of my life is children.  Each child He has given us has helped me to be more patient, more loving, more compassionate, less judgmental, more self-less.  In all, more Christ-like (which is what I want to be).  I still fail many times each day.  I still have to learn to die-to-self each day.  I still have many doubts and fears and lack of faith that plague me every single day.  I still have to remember that Jesus said, "My yoke is easy and My burden is light."  But, I can see that I've grown in so many ways through the trials that have come along this journey the past decade.

Second, my husband nor I can see how it's our right/decision/perogative to decide what is best for our life.  Isn't that God's job?  If we trust in Him, and know that He will give us what's best, shouldn't we trust Him in ALL things?  Not just some things?  Finding Biblical support for any decision is necessary, so no matter what we think, we need to back up our opinions with Scripture.  And the Bible supports having children in every aspect that I can find.  We know that God "visited" women like Sarah, Hannah, and Mary and gave them children.  He also visits us today when we conceive.  Why would we want to limit our visits from God?  Let's not let the worldly trends influence us, but stick to God's Word and His design.

I also (for some unknown reason) think often of a story that my Grandma used to tell about an old lady she used to visit.  This lady shared a room in a nursing home with another old lady.  The first old lady had ~10 kids who visited her regularly.  Someone was always stopping by.  She was never lonely.  The other old lady had only one child, who rarely came to visit.  One day one of the old lady's children (the one with many) said to her mom, "I sure feel bad for that old lady, no one ever comes to see her and she's so lonely."  The mother replied, "I wouldn't feel too bad for her.  Back when I was having all of you kids, she often made fun of me for having so many children." (they lived in the same small town).  I think the story mostly reminds me that we all reap what we sow.  It would be much easier to limit children for material, financial, or even selfish reasons ("I just couldn't handle more" is what I hear most of all), but we will also limit future blessings when we do.  It's not even the number of children one has, but the time spent that we invest in those we have.  I pray that my vision for our family could be generational, not just temporary.  

God sees the big picture, when we only see little parts of a very small picture.  What better way to spread the Gospel than to raise up many faithful followers?  In the U.S., the average Christian family has 2 kids (same as unbelievers).  The Muslims have 6.  They are going to outnumber us in 20 years at that rate.  And then take over our own country (they plan to have one of their leaders in the White House within that time).  Pretty scary stuff.  I want my kids to at least have each other, should tough times come in their future.

Although my own family (and Greg's) are average size, our parents all come from bigger ones.  Where I grew up, everyone had 4 kids.   Where he grew up, they all had 3.  (strange how that was, since I had 4 kids in my family, and he had 3).  Anyhow, we both always thought more kids in our family would have been much more fun.  I knew one family with 6 kids that we visited occasionally (they were the biggest family I knew), and their house was always great fun.  Who knows how many we'll end up with, but whatever it is, I know that God will provide the funds, strength and whatever else we may need.

Next, fertility is not something to be taken for granted.  Our childbearing years won't last forever.  Many, many people struggle with infertility, and this should not be taken lightly nor selfishly.  In this last year, I've read many books on nutrition.  In all of them, fertility is held in high esteem.  New mothers-to-be are given special food (healthy meats and oils mostly) for healthy babies, they wed at certain times of the year to ensure proper nutrition for mom and baby, and exercise is promoted for an easier delivery.  In our society, people take little care for proper nutrition (except a prenatal pill), "plan" their families to fit their lifestyle as if a child is a toy for them to play with or a new pet rather than an eternal soul, and those with many children are often looked at as irresponsible.  How backwards we've become!

The last thing I think of is a quote from my Dad.  When something new was on the horizon, he'd always say, "Give it 20 years".  What he meant by that was, are we willing to see how this choice will affect us in 20 years?  Will we be blessed by this decision, or will we regret it?  What are the long-term implications of what we're doing?  So, I try to always look beyond what may be difficult (even insurmountable) now, and see what another 20 years will look like.  That makes everything more bearable, more doable and more encouraging to stay the course, whatever maybe thrown in my path.

Inspired? Hardly...(April, May, June update)

Lately I haven't written much (if you haven't noticed).  I've felt pretty uninspired in every sense of the word.  I have no idea of topics, nor even my usual birthday updates for the kids or our latest vacation.  But, since this blog is somewhat of a documentary of our lives (since my journal went bye-bye about 8 years ago (the day our eldest son was born in fact)), I do like to keep some facts recorded now and then.  So, here goes (all in one fell swoop)...

April 27- Elise turns 4.  This little girl brings so much excitement to our lives.  Often in the form of singing and loving on us all (much to a certain little brother's disgust, as he wants to run and play), but also often in the form of crying and carrying on many times each day.  She keeps it lively and keeps me humble, that's for sure.  She has lately been always wanting to help me wash the dishes, so I try to encourage that (maybe then I can get out of it sooner, since it's my least favorite chore!)  She got a "new" bike, and has been mastering it with much proud-ness.  She wants to do everything the big boys do (read especially), and we have to remind her to wait longer.  She kind of gets stuck in the middle, as she's not big enough to always keep up with the boys, but doesn't want to be a "baby" either.  Recently I tried to take her out for some mommy/daughter time, and she didn't like it at all.  "Isaac will miss us too much", "I don't want to go with just you, then I'll have no one to play with", etc.  We ended up having a good time (in my opinion), but she wasn't convinced (even though we bought new matching shoes together).  I think I'll have to work on that one a bit!

April 29- James turned 6.  This guy is chomping at the bit in every way.  I can't believe how his skills have improved over the past year.  He went from little boy to big boy...just like that!  He is now so responsible, takes initiative (sometimes), has gotten rid of many of his fears, is growing like a weed, and even looks like a big boy now.  Thankfully he still has that dimple that is so cute! (which isn't really a dimple but a scar from an incident involving a bike and a deck post)  Last summer we had him on a treatment plan through our Naturopath, which helped him a lot.  His eczema is pretty much gone, although we are still dealing with environmental allergies.  His food allergies are pretty much gone too (although I try not to overdo any certain ones).  He is such a sweet, thoughtful boy, but also very curious and sometimes mischievous.  When the kids become teenagers, he's my biggest concern!  He likes to push the boundaries and has to know "why" for everything.  He gets hurt many times a day from his experiments,  but then is back trying them again, a few seconds later.  Yikes!

James' latest: (before bed one night)  

J: Mom, what would you do if a raccoon came in our house?

Me:  I'd probably freak out.

J: Hmm...ohhh...I didn't know that moms fweaked out... (pondering)

The next day we had our back door open to let in the cool breezes.  We were eating supper and my back was to the open door.  James looked down the hallway and announced in a sing-song-y voice, "Mom, guess who's in our house?" I quickly turned around and found not a raccoon, but our neighbor's dog walking down the hall.  Thankfully, I didn't have to "fweak out".  (we're working on pronouncing those 'r's!)

May 28- Luke is 8.  Luke had an upside-down kind of birthday.  We were in Arizona for vacation, and spent his birthday driving from AZ to San Diego where we flew home.  So, he got burgers at In-N-Out, lots of trail mix and dinner at a strange restaurant in a strange town for his celebration.  And a long ride in a rented van (just like ours, but nicer and newer).  We had a cousin's party at Grandpa &; Grandma's the night before we left, so he got cake and all that while we were there.  

Luke is our wealth of knowledge.  His nose is in a book most of the time, which is a blessing and a detriment all rolled into one.  He's missed a lot of conversational information as he's so absorbed in his books, but then he knows so much about other stuff from them.  I do try to limit his reading, as I want him to have lots of time playing, interacting, building Legos (which he loves too), creating projects and such too.  There are so many aspects to having a well-rounded (and grounded) child!  

The other night was a scene I've been waiting for for years.  It gave me a glimpse into the future as to how bigger families work and gave me hope too.  I was trying to get Isaac (22 mon.) to go to sleep.  Normally he's no trouble, but for some reason he wanted me to fill an endless list of requests (milk cup, rocking, blankets in certain positions, rubbing his back forever) and would cry if I didn't jump through his hoops.  I was tired and not up to the shenanigans, since I'd already spent much time with him.  Luke jumped in and said, "You can go to bed, Mom, and I'll rub his back until he's asleep".  I could have cried.  Well, I may have and just can't recall.  So, Luke got out of bed, sat down by Isaac's crib and talked calmly to him and rubbed his back until he was asleep.  So awesome!

Here's one of Luke's 8 year old humor lately:

Greg: We should paint the goat shelter this weekend.

Me: We could have the kids do it, they love painting.

Greg: Well, I'd rather have it done uniform.

Luke: Does that mean we will put buttons and pockets on it?

So, as previously mentioned, we went to Arizona in May over the Memorial Day weekend.  We've decided that camping isn't our thing that early in the spring.  So, we went to Arizona instead.  We found some reasonable flights to San Diego (since we only had 1 week, which isn't enough time to drive) and then rented a van and drove the final 5 hours.  It was a great trip.  We stayed in Greg's folks' trailer while there and just soaked up the heat and sunshine.  The kids did great (Well, Isaac wasn't sure what to think of the heat. He kept tugging at his shirt as if to say, "why is this so sticky?" and wasn't sure what to think of all the new people.) and we enjoyed our time.  On our way back, we spent our last night in San Diego, and we had hoped to do something fun, but ran out of time so ended spending that last morning just swimming in our hotel pool (Can't beat that anyhow, can you?  Who needs Sea World?)  Anyhow, that's our trip in a nutshell.  Just mostly visited family and friends and let the kids play with their cousins (who recently moved to Florida, so who knows when we'll see them next...although we'd love a trip down there!)

The Blessings of Bedtime Routines

     I've been reading The 5 Love Languages of Children recently, and there were some paragraphs that I'd like to post.  I was just telling Greg that although I often dread bedtime (due to tiredness and the lengthy process it entails), I also love bedtime.  The conversations that come at bedtime never come at any other time of the day.  In the dark, the kids seem to open up in ways that they don't in the day time.  These thoughts I'm quoting have been my own thoughts lately, so reading this book is rather timely.  

At bedtime, I've hung up my working apron (so to speak) and my own mind can finally slow down enough to enjoy the conversation too.  I can savor each child's uniqueness in adding to the conversation, which is yet another reason I love that all the kids share a room. (Extra cuddles are the added bonus here!)  We read a Bible story each night as well as usually another story (we like Uncle Arthur's Bedtime Stories).  We also sing some "Jesus" songs. Last night we were singing How Great Thou Art so we discussed all about God's greatness and awesomeness. Luke said that "awesome" was the perfect word to describe God and all He is and does.  We talked of how blessings come of being obedient to our loving Father who wants the best for His children.  And how being disobedient will yield trouble either now or later (or both). 

     To quote: "Because your children will learn more from talking with you than you will probably ever realize, it is crucial that you spend time in healthy conversation with them, no matter what their age.  If you limit your talking with them to correction, your children may never learn the value of positive, focused attention.  Negative attention alone cannot meet their need for love.

    "With younger children, one of the most effective times to initiate conversation is at bedtime, when they are especially attentive.  This may be because of fewer distractions then or because children want to delay going to bed.  Whatever the reason, they are listening well and this makes meaningful conversation much easier.

     "All children love stories.  Reading to them is a great way to begin your bedtime ritual- and do make it a ritual, because this will help to keep communications open when they become teenagers.  During or after a story, you can pause to let a child identify his feelings about the events or characters and then talk about them.  As you are reading a story about someone who experiences disappointment, for example, you may talk with your child about feelings of disappointment she has had, along with the accompanying sadness, anger or whatever is appropriate.

     "We strongly recommend these times of conversation.  Sadly, many young people today do not understand how to handle their feelings, especially anger.  Many years of warm and close bedtime talks, which include gentle, relaxed sharing of feelings, can help prevent some of life's deepest problems down the road.

     "Bedtime rituals that are warm and close, gentle and relaxed, sound just the opposite of the busy world in which many parents live.  Don't be a victim of the urgent.  In the long run, much of what seems pressing right now won't even matter.  What you do with your children will matter forever."

More on adrenal fatigue

More information on adrenal fatigue.  Some sources say that 80% of people are affected these days due to lifestyle, food and stresses that we all encounter.  If you missed my original post, it's here.

Here's Eighteen Overlooked Symptoms of Adrenal Fatigue

Here's a good website with lots of info.  http://www.adrenalfatigue.org/

How to get tested to see what your cortisol levels are (the indicators of adrenal fatigue)
http://www.adrenalfatigue.org/saliva-testing-for-adrenal-hormones

What to eat to help: http://www.adrenalfatigue.org/adrenal-fatigue-diet

I've got kids needing some stories read, so there's a start...
~R

Birthday Baggage

I just got finished baking our daughter's birthday cake (official big day tomorrow) and ended up rather irritated as I was doing it.  It was partially because of 4 eager helpers that cause great distractions in the recipe-following category, but partially other stuff.  I sadly realized (after all these years), that I have some serious birthday baggage.  As a child, my birthday fell (and still does, hehe) the week before Christmas.  This means that it often got lost in the shuffle, or ended up on Christmas program Sunday, where I would be lucky if I got a cake at church after the program.  And that cake was always shared with some other unlucky kid who also had a birthday that week.  I even tried to rectify the situation when I was an adult by planning a fun stuff myself (and inviting friends), and they ended up a flop too.  No one could come as they always had other plans.  (I've also informed my husband that I never want a surprise birthday party, that would be the ultimate humiliation).  My favorite birthday was actually this past year.  We went out for breakfast with just our family, bought a Christmas tree and some lights for the front of the house and set them all out.  It was perfect!

What does that have to do with today?  I have this pre-birthday anxiety for my kids.  I want to make everything perfect (even if they don't have the same expectations that I have).  I want to fulfill (or exceed) their expectations.  I even get nauseated at those perfect-cake parties that other parents have for their kids because I don't want to start those traditions, when they may get dashed in the future when we may not be able to host the perfect party.  And yet I don't even want to host the perfect party.  But then I do, in another way but am scared I would fail if I tried.  And then who would we invite?  We don't have family here, and often friends haven't been able to come (especially on Memorial Day boy's birthday).  I act all weird when other people have parties for their kids, but in a way I think I'm jealous of my own lacks.  I act all confident in what we do for our kids most of the year, but then when their actual birthday rolls around, I feel very insecure and scared that I'm not doing enough.

When I can see the big picture, it's very clear.  I want to see them smile on their special day.  I want to bake them meals that they love.  I want to give them a meaningful, useful gift.  I want to bake them a cake that shows their interests/favorites at this year of their life.  But when the reality comes, I just want to go rent a big blowup house and some ponies, buy them some glittery motorized vehicles (or other ridiculous gift that are expensive and useless), invite every person we know and shower them in cheesy gifts given out of obligation rather than taste.  Pathetic, hey?  Thankfully I don't have the money or energy to do that.  But now I can see why some people do it.  I used to be snide at how pathetic they were, but I am understanding it a little more each year.  And how I am just as bad, even if I don't pull it all off!

So, there's where it's at.  For dear daughter's birthday, we're going swimming at a local pool, and for our son's (2 days later) we're going to an ice cream shop that he's wanted to go to for a long time. (their choice)  They'll get a cake of my choosing and hopefully some friends will be able to join us for some of the fun (although I'm not counting on it!)   And that'll be okay (or so I'm telling myself)  As for their gifts, daughter is getting a fishing pole for usefulness soon, and son is getting a Bible since that's what I get 6 year olds who are learning to read.

What do you do for birthdays?  And how did you come to those traditions?

Although I skimmed this book pretty fast since I got it out from the library and had to get it back on time, I really enjoyed this book.  Knowing that the 2 sisters who wrote it are originally from New Zealand, that alone makes it fun to read if you can imagine their accents as you read.  It was actually delightful to read (not something most nutrition books are!)  I haven't actually implemented much of their ideas into our diet yet, since I have tweaked our food about as much as I can handle in my brain these days, but do plan to in the future.  But, the long and short of it is this:

Protein + carbs = weight loss

Protein + fat = weight loss

Protein + carbs + fat = weight gain  

(as your body then stores the fat and uses the carbs for immediate fuel)

So, if you can remember that, you're on your way (giving 3 hours between switching from one "fuel cycle" to another).  Eating REAL good food!   Gwen tells it in more detail (how to actually make it happen), but that is a start.

There are also chapters on hormones and how they affect every aspect of life (and what to look for as far as imbalances), how to keep a healthy marriage and more. 

The rest of the review below is from Gwen's Nest blog, as she has a great review.  She is also one of the facebook encourage-rs and moderators who has tons of information for newbies to the plan.  If you read her whole review, it'll give you a much better idea what it's all about on the link above.

Trim Healthy Mama Book Review

"So, let’s first take a look at this book.  To start, it’s 650 pages.  But don’t let that discourage you!  It’s written by two sisters (both avid health and wellness researches) over a 5 year period, and it does not read like a college level nutrition textbook.  Although it probably contains more information and common sense than a standard nutrition textbook.  But you’ll find that it’s presented in a warm, entertaining, and conversational style that makes is a pleasure to read.

Both Pearl and Serene frequently go back and forth throughout the book to express their views on different issues, so instead of getting a one-sided view, you actually get a wider range of (and sometimes opposing) opinions on many of life’s important issues…like the best way to fix coffee, and whether or not to have sardines with breakfast.  And you will find that you probably naturally gravitate toward one of their opinions over the other.

Many ladies on the facebook group have said that they were actually sad to finish the book, because they felt like they’d become friends with the authors.  So, don’t get freaked out about how long the book is…it’s a fun and easy read!

What Is the Diet Part All About?

"I’m glad you asked.

Pearl and Serene have tried, failed, and tweaked almost every fad diet version out there.  Maybe you have too.  I’ve seen and participated in my fair share.  What they found is not a way to simply “lose weight fast”…they’ve discovered the science behind how to control your weight through combining fuels that the body uses.  Namely, fats and carbs.

BUT, you’re not removing ANY food groups from the diet to accomplish this, so you’re able to achieve long term, optimal nutrition from ALL the foods God made (including coffee & chocolate).  Awesome."

http://www.trimhealthymama.com/ 

This book also has reached the Amazon top 10 in Women's Health in less than 6 months since it was published, with no external advertising.  Just successful word of mouth.  Lots of testimonies on the reviews there.

http://www.amazon.com/Trim-Healthy-Mama-Cravings-Energize/dp/193894500X

Where To Go (Adventures in pottying)

Since becoming parents, nearly 8 years ago, there are not very many things that Greg and I disagree on.  We pretty much expect the same things of our children (and each other), which makes things run rather smoothly most of the time.  We often will say exactly the same thing to a child at the same time (for good and for bad), and then one of us has to stop and let the other take over the conversation.

But, there is one thing that we can't seem to agree on.  And since it's been some beautiful weather again, the subject has surfaced once again.  I don't think it's a big deal if the kids pee outside while they're playing, and he does.  

My reasons: 

-we live in the country, surrounded by trees and people who work all day (so aren't home)

-they're kids

-it teaches them to be adaptable (if we should go hiking/camping/road trip/whatever the need may be)

His reasons:

-we have neighbors (that are home sometimes)

-it's not that much hassle to come in the house

-who wants to see that?

My rule is that they have to go to the edge of the yard (into the trees) and be discreet.  And not near the road or even so that they can be seen by cars on the road.

We had an incident a few years ago on a road trip where we were up in the snowy mountains of California putting on tire chains (for our self and then 2 other cars who didn't know how) and our 2 little boys had to pee.  So, I sent them off to the side of the road (through the past-knee-deep snow) to pee in the ditch.  A lady saw them and was shocked (the one whose car Greg was putting chains on).  He said, "Oh, those are my kids!"  What other option did we have?  Tell a 3 & 5 year old to hold it for another hour?  That would have gone over well.  We have tried having a potty in the car, and it has never gone over well, or at all, I should say.

I've now been teaching our daughter how to pee in the woods, so she can if she needs to.  (Or on the side of the road, as has been the need in the past)  I call it "how to pee in the woods without getting it on your clothes or shoes" and it's definitely a skill!

Thoughts on this subject?

Nutrition and Physical Degeneration - Book Review

Wow!  This book is simply amazing.  The more I read about nutrition, the more I am fascinated by the way that God made our bodies.  The amazing ability to heal and recover, the amazing process of reproduction, the amazing nutrients He gave us for our use.  We as a society have strongly abused these blessings, thinking that we know "better" and will improve the process.  Not true.

This book is by Dr. Weston Price, a dentist back in the 1930's.  His own son died from a dental abscess, and he was astounded.  He couldn't figure out why he couldn't save him.  This led him and his wife on a 10 year journey around the world to 40+ different primitive societies to find out what they were doing right.  Instead of focusing on what America was doing wrong, he took the approach of finding out societies that had healthy bodies and teeth (directly related) and summed up what he could learn from them.

The pictures he took are astounding.  Even if you never read this book, go to your library and look through the pictures.  It tells the whole story.  Here's that story: (proved in every single society he visited)

Primitive food = superb health and dental

White man's food (refined flour, sugars, oils) = poor health, poor mouths (shape, teeth, state of health)

It didn't matter if they were Eskimo (still the term in that day) or Aborigine or Welsh (on secluded island) or Peruvian or Swiss (in secluded valleys), the same held true.  Some villages had no doctors or dentists as everyone was so healthy that they never needed them.  The main thing he wanted to know was how we can learn from them and apply it to our American lifestyle.  Here's what he learned:

-no one survived on plants only, animal products are a must (vegans die out within 2 generations due to infertility from lack of nutrients)

-everyone ate lots of vitamins A & D (severely lacking in our culture, as these come from animal organs, insects, guinea pigs (yes, in Peru that's their main source of vitamin D), sea creatures.

-almost everyone ate/drank raw milk products with the live enzymes (camel, goat, cow, yak, etc)

-almost everyone ate fermented products due to lack of refrigeration (which also helps with digestion)

-fertility and healthy babies/children are directly related to the health of the parents (all societies held fertility in high esteem and had a special diet for newly married couples)  It only took one generation of "white man's food" for the dental state of the children to be poor (and I mean poor- crooked teeth, too small of jaws, cavities rampant) and if the parents went back to their primitive diet, the next generation was healthy as could be again.  Even if parents improved their diet right away, the children born following would be healthy (less defects, health issues and genetic problems).  Children born during famines or droughts were often sickly their whole lives.

The Weston A. Price Foundation gives a lot more information and is a wealth of information in this area.  They have started many of the "real food" movements and encourage getting back to this way of eating, as it fits our life today.  Here's a more comprehensive list of what he found:

Principles of a Healthy Diet

If there is just one thing to add to your diet (for nutrient absorption and dental health), it would be a high vitamin (A & D) cod liver oil.  Even doing that will have immense effects on your health.

Some more good information for us today:

Ancient Dietary Wisdom for Tomorrow's Children

Because this book was written pre- copyright laws, you can view it online here. (to see the pictures and read what you want for yourself)
Nutrition and Physical Degeneration e-book

Like mother, like daughter

Recently we've been faced with a little girl who wants to only wear dresses, and also refuses to wear tights/leggings although it's cold and wintry outside.  She claims that she gets too hot, even though they are comfortable. breathable cotton tights (in fun colors and designs).  If she doesn't wear them, then she's cold.  So, I thought the answer would be some knee high socks, since she only had short little ones.

Since moms like me try to shop where they can, I ended up at Big Lots for some other things and figured we could look for some there to save another trip elsewhere.  We found some splendid Minnie Mouse ones there (no plain colors) but then she lost them while we were still in the store.  So, back we went to the sock section and found some Dora ones that would fit the bill.  We bought them and went on our way.

These worked fine until it was time to go to church and those fantastic socks clashed with every dress she owned.  I was fine with her wearing them at home, but try to have her look a little more decent while out and about.  While we were at Target another day, I decided to look for some plain colored ones that would match more outfits.  While we were there, I was asking Elise what ones she preferred (white or navy).  She moaned, "But they're sooo borr-rring!  I want those ice cream cone ones over there." (pointing, as she said it in her sorta-Australian accent/lisp) I decided that likely it would be a fight that wasn't worth fighting every time we went out for her to have to wear the "boring" ones, so we didn't buy any.

The next day was Sunday, and she proceeded to pull on her Dora socks (pictured below on left) with her pale pink dress.  I kind of groaned at the clashing colors, but knew it was going to have to be okay.  Then Greg reminded me, "Well, she is her mother's own daughter!"  Yes, yes she is...

A sampling of my socks, the more colorful, the better! With the famed Dora ones on left

Winter Blues

I'm writing this while staying home again with sick kids.  This has gone on for 1 1/2 weeks now, and is looking brighter, but still not "normal".  I guess what I've learned through this round (and probably each other one when they come), is how little control I really do have over my life.  I would like to think that I have some semblance of control, organization, direction but when illness strikes, I realize that I am nothing.  This is not a bad thing, but a good thing.  It requires relying totally on my Lord and Savior, who provides healing, comfort, peace and all things good.

We started with puking kids, who somehow got reinfected and were sick twice.  And then I got the flu too, totally sapping my own energy and strength to keep on top of the germy laundry and dishes.  The kids have been troopers, but it's been me who has been the whiner.  I hate the smell/sound of puking and don't do well with it. (Who does?) I hate seeing them so helpless and miserable.  I even was at the point of wishing that I could take some of the misery away from them.  Then I got the bug and wished that I hadn't wished that, as now I was out of commission too.  Then dear husband had to work overtime so he's been pretty tired (and fighting all the germies himself) also.  I haven't even hardly left the house all this time (does checking the mail count?)  When I tried to go for a walk with a few of the "well" kids on sunny Sunday, the cold wind made my throat and ears hurt (even though I had a scarf and hat on).  We've missed 2 weeks of church now.

Then the fevers hit.  All the kids.  Then the coughing.  All the kids.  Now I'm doling out cough medicine (at night), vitamin C, immune drops and such all day long.  Hot steamy showers for them all.  Vapoizer on with essential oils.  Garlic laced food.  Vicks on their feet.  Honey-lemon tea.  To little or no avail.  We'll keep at it, but it's getting wearying.  A baby who thinks that he must wake up far too many times each night and needs his mom to put him back to sleep (sometimes awake for 2-3 hours).  We've been working on that for many months, and are no further ahead than when we started.  Each time we make some headway, then teething, or sickness or something (like a too-tired mom who can't get up and do the right thing, so she does the lazy thing) comes in and we start the game again.  My neck and back also go out of place every time I don't get enough rest and I haven't been well enough to even get it put back in.  So add constant stabbing pain to the mix too and a couple whiny kids who make it known how they feel.  I feel like that too, but at least try to control my whining and fussing!

I know that this is a season, and it will pass.  But, I'm tired.  It's hard to see past that.  We're 2 weeks late on getting groceries, which also makes it difficult to find nutritious things to eat for the picky kids who are hungry but don't want to eat anything I make or offer. (unusual for them, they normally eat anything)

But, we'll carry on.  Because it's worth it.  And because we have no other choice.  And try to be thankful for the blessings we have.  A warm house, some food to eat, a washer and dryer to clean dirty stuff.  Things like that.  So goes the day....

Oil Pulling Therapy - Book Review

Wellness Mama also introduced me to the 2000+ year old Ayurvedic medicine tradition of oil pulling.  Not sure what it was all about, I read the book!  Here's a sum off Dr. Bruce Fife's (the author) website.  If it works like they claim, this has got to be the cheapest, most effective, and easiest way of improving your oral health and detoxing your body.  Much cheaper and pain free, a huge at-home option compared to a nasty dental visit, that's for sure!  (he gives guidelines for using, and when to see the dentist)  The book was well referenced and a very quick, easy read.

"Dr. Karach’s method of oil pulling consists of swishing, not gargling, vegetable oil in the mouth. The oil is “worked” in the mouth by pushing, pulling, and drawing it through the teeth for a period of 15 to 20 minutes. It is done once (to three times) a day on an empty stomach. The best time is in the morning before eating breakfast, but can be done before any meal. The used oil is discarded and the mouth rinsed out with water. The oil is never swallowed because it is loaded with bacteria, toxins, pus, and mucous.

Sunflower and sesame seed oils are the most commonly used for oil pulling, but any vegetable oil will work. People have had success with olive, coconut, almond, and other oils. I prefer to use coconut oil because of its many health benefits. If you use a mild flavored coconut oil it is very pleasant in the mouth. Some oils, such as extra virgin olive oil, are so strong flavored that many people find them difficult to use.

The oil acts like a cleanser. When you put it in your mouth and work it around your teeth and gums it “pulls” out bacteria and other debris. It acts much like the oil you put in your car engine. The oil picks up dirt and grime. When you drain the oil, it pulls out the dirt and grime with it, leaving the engine relatively clean. Consequently, the engine runs smoother and lasts longer. Likewise, when we expel harmful substances from our bodies our health is improved and we run smoother and last longer.

As simple as it is, oil pulling has a very powerful detoxifying effect. Our mouths are the home to billions of bacteria, viruses, fungi and other parasites and their toxins. Candida and Streptococcus are common residents in our mouths. It is these types of germs and their toxic waste products that cause gum disease and tooth decay and contribute to many other health problems including arthritis and heart disease. Our immune system is constantly fighting these troublemakers. If our immune system becomes overloaded or burdened by excessive stress, poor diet, environmental toxins and such, these organisms can spread throughout the body causing secondary infections and chronic inflammation, leading to any number of health problems. "

http://www.coconutresearchcenter.org/article%20oil%20pulling.htm