Whenever I get into a crowd of people, I analyze conversation. The reason I do is because conversation still puzzles me after how many thousands (or even millions) of conversations that I've had in my life. It seems like some people are just born experts, some people flounder through their whole social experience, and I am hopefully somewhere in the middle. But, that depends much on the topic at hand as well as the audience.
My problem with conversation(s) is this: some people talk too much (this can be me at times). Some people talk too little (this can also be me). Some people are know-it-alls (this can be me). And some people are clueless to the topic but pretend they're not (this can be me too). Finding that balance is a life long job, with the variables changing readily, making me never know when I am over-stepping (or under-stepping) some unwritten boundaries.
I constantly am thinking "I don't want to sound like an idiot" or "I don't want them to think I'm preaching at them" or "what if they misinterpret what I mean" and so on. With good friends and family this isn't a problem, because I know them well enough that I know that they either DO know what I mean (even if my words aren't as well chosen as they could be), or they love me enough to overlook my inconsistencies. But, for those casual acquaintances which I'm trying to improve on, I feel that somehow I need to prove myself or make sure they know that I am 'valid' in some way.
Another thing I've found is that because I read alot of research books, I do have alot of information up there in my head (about the topics that us moms seem to discuss on a regular basis). But, that doesn't always mean I should share it. People get defensive (me included), when others try to cram information down their throats. I don't want to be that person, in yet know that often am without recognizing it. What is usually NOT brought up though, is what I don't know (which is thousands of topics, of which I'd like to learn). I do try to always be learning more by asking questions, but to keep a conversation going, you must be willing to share answers as well as ask questions.
In a crowd I tend to be more of a listener than a talker (although it depends on who the crowd is), and during this time, I get a chance to look much more into what the person/people are portraying, rather than just saying. One thing that really bugs me is when people talk too much. They talk just to hear themselves talk, and don't let others even join in, other than to nod in approval. I have a hard time holding these talkers as very credible sources, because if you do that much talking, when are you listening? Most of us learn the most by keeping our mouths shut and listening, so it's really hard to listen when you're doing all the talking, hey? The Bible says that the tongue is "deceitful, who can know it?" and that is very true.
By now, I'm really no further ahead than when I began this post, but just thought I'd share what's been on my mind lately. I've been in situations lately where I have been immersed in much conversation, thus giving me the opportunity to ponder how it all works (or doesn't work, as sometimes regretfully happens!) Any thoughts?
I constantly am thinking "I don't want to sound like an idiot" or "I don't want them to think I'm preaching at them" or "what if they misinterpret what I mean" and so on. With good friends and family this isn't a problem, because I know them well enough that I know that they either DO know what I mean (even if my words aren't as well chosen as they could be), or they love me enough to overlook my inconsistencies. But, for those casual acquaintances which I'm trying to improve on, I feel that somehow I need to prove myself or make sure they know that I am 'valid' in some way.
Another thing I've found is that because I read alot of research books, I do have alot of information up there in my head (about the topics that us moms seem to discuss on a regular basis). But, that doesn't always mean I should share it. People get defensive (me included), when others try to cram information down their throats. I don't want to be that person, in yet know that often am without recognizing it. What is usually NOT brought up though, is what I don't know (which is thousands of topics, of which I'd like to learn). I do try to always be learning more by asking questions, but to keep a conversation going, you must be willing to share answers as well as ask questions.
In a crowd I tend to be more of a listener than a talker (although it depends on who the crowd is), and during this time, I get a chance to look much more into what the person/people are portraying, rather than just saying. One thing that really bugs me is when people talk too much. They talk just to hear themselves talk, and don't let others even join in, other than to nod in approval. I have a hard time holding these talkers as very credible sources, because if you do that much talking, when are you listening? Most of us learn the most by keeping our mouths shut and listening, so it's really hard to listen when you're doing all the talking, hey? The Bible says that the tongue is "deceitful, who can know it?" and that is very true.
By now, I'm really no further ahead than when I began this post, but just thought I'd share what's been on my mind lately. I've been in situations lately where I have been immersed in much conversation, thus giving me the opportunity to ponder how it all works (or doesn't work, as sometimes regretfully happens!) Any thoughts?
