Well, today I feel better right now, although the sleep was less last night than all previous ones. I'm not sure why, but that's not something I'm going to try to figure out either, as it would require too much energy. So, where does that leave me. Mostly just pondering.
I guess my biggest question is how can I enjoy these years more? I'd love to just enjoy nursing my baby instead of wishing she was done so she wouldn't wiggle and kick me so much. I wish I could help my 2 year old when he asks in his sweet voice "Mom, hewlp", because I know how independent he is and how soon it will be that he won't ask me for help for anything. I wish I could answer all my 4 year olds questions, instead of putting him off because I'm too tired to think of the answers. (I don't expect to have all the answers even, but want to help him be able to find them). I'm trying to find pleasure in the small things of each day, but lately have had trouble doing even that. I know we've had a round of sickness and teething babies that makes the clouds look a bit grayer, and that it is the middle of winter in the Pacific Northwest but how do other moms cope when they have much more on their plate than me? Maybe I should call some of them and ask them. That would likely be encouraging in all areas. Maybe they have just taken the expectation out of life that it should be enjoyable. I remember being this tired when James was Elise's age, but somehow we got through. But is getting through what it's all about? How much should life be enjoyable and how much should be sheer endurance?
I think listening to uplifting music helps too, and getting out for a walk even if the day is stormy. In one blog I read, the writer says that raising children is best use of our time as Christians, and although I agree wholeheartedly, it also brings out the worst in me. All my failures and shortcomings seem to be present at home (we can hide them better when we go out, can't we?), either in me or I see them in my children. I'd like to say that after 3 kids I'm much more patient, but I'm not. I get just as irritated inside with baby crying as I did with #1. I maybe just don't care so much anymore because now I know that sometimes babies just cry.
But, I'll keep thinking on these things, and maybe come up with something new that will inspire me today. A hot cup of Candy Cane tea should do it for the morning, and then hopefully a nap at sometime later. And a prayer on my heart that God would as the 23rd Psalm "lead me beside the still waters, restore my soul, and lead me in the paths of righteousness for His namesake." Because I do know that having 3 little precious souls in my care is the best job I could ask for, it's just that sometimes we all have "bad hair days". Thank you all for your prayers and support too! I love the encouragement!
I guess my biggest question is how can I enjoy these years more? I'd love to just enjoy nursing my baby instead of wishing she was done so she wouldn't wiggle and kick me so much. I wish I could help my 2 year old when he asks in his sweet voice "Mom, hewlp", because I know how independent he is and how soon it will be that he won't ask me for help for anything. I wish I could answer all my 4 year olds questions, instead of putting him off because I'm too tired to think of the answers. (I don't expect to have all the answers even, but want to help him be able to find them). I'm trying to find pleasure in the small things of each day, but lately have had trouble doing even that. I know we've had a round of sickness and teething babies that makes the clouds look a bit grayer, and that it is the middle of winter in the Pacific Northwest but how do other moms cope when they have much more on their plate than me? Maybe I should call some of them and ask them. That would likely be encouraging in all areas. Maybe they have just taken the expectation out of life that it should be enjoyable. I remember being this tired when James was Elise's age, but somehow we got through. But is getting through what it's all about? How much should life be enjoyable and how much should be sheer endurance?
I think listening to uplifting music helps too, and getting out for a walk even if the day is stormy. In one blog I read, the writer says that raising children is best use of our time as Christians, and although I agree wholeheartedly, it also brings out the worst in me. All my failures and shortcomings seem to be present at home (we can hide them better when we go out, can't we?), either in me or I see them in my children. I'd like to say that after 3 kids I'm much more patient, but I'm not. I get just as irritated inside with baby crying as I did with #1. I maybe just don't care so much anymore because now I know that sometimes babies just cry.
But, I'll keep thinking on these things, and maybe come up with something new that will inspire me today. A hot cup of Candy Cane tea should do it for the morning, and then hopefully a nap at sometime later. And a prayer on my heart that God would as the 23rd Psalm "lead me beside the still waters, restore my soul, and lead me in the paths of righteousness for His namesake." Because I do know that having 3 little precious souls in my care is the best job I could ask for, it's just that sometimes we all have "bad hair days". Thank you all for your prayers and support too! I love the encouragement!
