Today the kids started swimming lessons again, so it is always interesting to see who will be there, and if anyone I know will have their kids in the same session as us (it's a Kalama deal, so only Kalama people). Last year I knew no other parents in our session, so made it my personal challenge to visit with a different parent each day and get to know them. It was hard. Very hard. But, I did it, and this year it paid off because one of the same moms is back and we visited freely again today. She also had her boys in wrestling so we had chatted a bit then too. A small town is great for this kind of stuff. Although I doubt we'll become dearest friends, having connections with people is always a blessing. You never know when you'll need them, or they'll need you.
It also got me to thinking about what to talk to strangers about. I don't have any pat answers, but usually asking people about their family or their jobs will get them talking. When I used to work at the hospital, I would ask the older people about their families and they loved to talk about them. A few things I learned when I asked those questions, was something for us all to heed. Older people often talk of regrets from the past also. Older women most often regretted not having more children. "We know now that it would have worked out" they would say. They talked of how their kids never came to visit, or the only child they had lived so far away. Older men most often regretted not spending enough time with their families. "I wish I knew my kids when they were growing up. I was too busy working all the time to buy them stuff, that I didn't have time left to spend with them." Of course this wasn't always a choice, when work was scarce and there were bills to pay. But many of these men told of furnishing pools and tennis courts and yet never getting to play with their kids in them. It really reinforced to me to teach my own children to plan on caring for the elderly. Whether family or friends, there will always be a lonely person that needs our love and care.
With the younger working crew, I would ask what people did for a living. I found it fascinating why different people chose different professions, and whether or not they liked them or not. I learned about many jobs that I never even knew existed. One time I asked a man what he did for a living and the conversation went something like this,
Me: So what do you do for a living?
Him: I work in a XXX book store.
Me: (it came out of my mouth before I had time to censor it) Doesn't your conscience bother you?
Him: I don't read the books, I just sell them.
Me: Well, you are aiding and abetting that business.
Him: Yes, I guess you're right. I think I'm going to have to find a new job.
Oh, dear. Never know what we get ourselves into, hey? You win some, you lose some.
With young parents, they usually love to brag about their kids. Often if you feel awkward talking to an adult, if you break the ice with their child, it'll result in a conversation. A compliment is always appreciated, or even just thanks for a kind gesture. And a smile always wins also.
At my very first job at A & W, my boss would make me go and ask the customers how their food was. I was too shy to even do that. I hated it. Then at my second job, as a lifeguard, the girl who was supposed to teach the water aerobics class got into a car accident on her way to work and I was stuck teaching the class on my 2nd day of work. Here I had only witnessed water aerobics once (on my first day) and I was supposed to teach it. The original girl never came back to work, so I began teaching it every day. Have you ever tried to teach something in a loud swimming pool with a bunch (+\-30) of older ladies splashing and chatting around who don't have their hearing aids in? It required much yelling. Ugh. So, that's when I officially learned to talk.
Recently Greg was talking with my brother-in-law Alex, and it was mentioned that we owe it to each other to keep a conversation interesting. What do you think? True? Do you ever look at the art of conversation that way? Alex and Greg are always up for interesting conversation, so they agreed, of course. Now how to do that? Hmm...I still have much to learn.
