As a new parent, you wonder what traditions to start with your family, and which ones to ingnore. We had some trial and error choices, but also some good ones that we've adapted over the years. Holiday traditions seem to be one where I still feel kind of lost. Should we try to do traditional things (whatever they may be), or should we make up our own traditions or should we just wing it each year? I think we do more of the last one, but I try to have some things traditional so we have some memories of doing *something* special.
I was just talking with a friend, and she mentioned that even if you only do some things once or twice in a child's life, they can still view it as a tradition if they felt it impacted them that much. Which makes it easier on the parents. You don't have to do it all!
With Christmas coming, I still don't have our traditions figured out. And that's okay. I guess (trying to convince myself here.) As our home and family dynamics change, so will our traditions. The main thing being focused on celebrating our Lord's birth, however that may be. Greg isn't attached to any traditions, so it's more me who wants things *memorable* and the same year after year.
When we have no immediate family nearby (my sister who lives the closest is either committed to her in-laws or her husband has been crab fishing from Thanksgiving-February or they've only been up to doing something with their immediate family), it leaves us in a quandary. No matter what we do, it doesn't seem right to me. We've tried joining other families and that just felt awkward. We've tried staying home and that felt empty. We actually spent the first many years of our marriage travelling to our family, just to be a part of something bigger. Now that we have 5 kids, we can't be just jetting off to Canada or Arizona or Florida as we had in the past, so we'll have to figure this stuff out.
Last year was our first year of just staying home (I was 7 months pregnant with Celeste and she had been breech and finally turned the right way on Christmas Eve night, after a Chiropractic adjustment), so I wasn't up to travelling anywhere. It ended up being just like any other day, and that was rather disappointing. I know my little family here is enough, but how do I make it special, if that's how it's going to be?
Our church also doesn't have a service on Christmas (unless it's on a Sunday), which also makes me feel rather empty. Isn't that the most important thing about Christmas? Just because it hasn't been done in the past, doesn't mean it isn't a good thing to start doing! I think we'll make sure to get to a service this year, even if it means driving a ways.
One tradition we tried, but nixed this past year was the Santa thing. We never really totally bought into it too much, but did have stockings for the kids and filled them for Christmas morning. We open our gifts Christmas Eve, so it was a fun thing to do. Until the kids started spending more and more time each year wondering about this Santa. They knew that Santa isn't real, he's just a guy dressed up, but how did their stockings get full? And how did he know to put almost the same thing in them each year? And teaching the littler kids about it...how mysterious. They would spend hours pondering these things, even though I usually minimized it and tried to redirect their conversation. This went on for a few years, but last year at lunch one day I had had enough. The whole reason for Christmas is to celebrate Jesus' birth, and here they were spending all of their days wondering about Santa. So I told them, "Dad and I fill your stockings after you go to bed." And that was then end of that. The rest of the season passed blissfully and this year is the same. I even heard one of them tell Celeste, "Dad & Mom will fill your stocking on Christmas Eve with good things for you to find on Christmas morning." It's been so nice! They get a new toothbrush, a mandarin orange, a candy cane and a few chocolates. I've done toys in the past and they've gotten tossed over the shoulder in search of more. So, now I just keep it simple.
And one gift per kid too. They get gifts from grandparents and some aunts and uncles, so one gift from us each is plenty. This year I was able to find all I needed from the local antique stores (think vintage character items), so I hope they'll be happy. I always wonder if I should buy them exactly what they want, or what I think will be a good thing for them, and have settled on the latter. Something to learn and grow with, but is fun too is usually my direction to go in. Greg insisted on keeping the bar low, as he says each year you'll have to raise it, so why go all out? I agree. With more children, we don't need more gadgets and gizmos that turn into junk after a short while anyhow.
I've reduced baking to 3 kinds of treats too. As a family, our favorites are peppermint bark, baklava and Finnish prune tarts. If we want more, we'll have to get them somewhere else. Usually people are baking way too much and trying to get rid of them pretty readily!
We also like to go to the Journey to Bethlehem every now and then. It's a very well done reenactment of the title. We've done ZooLights one year and hope to try a different one at the Portland International Raceway (a drive through one) someday. Sometimes just looking at the fancy houses in town is enough too.
So, that's my thoughts for tonight. I love Christmas, but still am not sure what to do about much of it!
