One thing I love about a good relationship is the common ground on which the relationship is formed. Maybe it isn't really formed there, but that common ground is what caused the relationship to flourish. There's things you needn't even discuss, because you know you'll see eye to eye on certain topics. Occasionally, random different opinions come in, but for the most part, the unspoken understandings take precedence.
I got to thinking this the other day while I was out shopping with the kids. A cashier at a minimum-wage store was super excited/distressed/emotionally charged because her husband had gone and traded in her old car for a brand-new fully-loaded Subaru while she was at work. She couldn't believe it, and was excited, but I could also sense some how-are-we-ever-going-to-make-the-payments thoughts in there too. When I got home and was telling Greg about it, he said, "You know I'd never do that to you, don't you?" And I replied that yes, I knew I never had to worry about him doing that. 'Nuff said.
Then, later on in the week, he says to me, "What's with all these pregnant women posting self-portraits and ultrasound pictures on Facebook? Why do they think we want to see that?" This time it was me saying, "You know I'd never do that, don't you?" To which he answered that, yes, he knew he never had to worry about me doing that (although I do post other things that he deems controversial and unnecessary!)
We have a few more things like that too. He knows never to have a surprise party (or plan a surprise trip) for me (I love the anticipation of things instead), and I know never to leave the house without my keys as well (even if he's driving and he has his keys). That one has taken me many years to learn! I know to always check the doors and woodstove at night (since I'm the last one to go to bed) and he knows that I'll always have a hot cup of coffee (in a glass "house" mug) every Sunday on the way to church and to not drive off (even if we're late) until I have a good balancing system in place so that it doesn't spill going out of our driveway. We both know what kind of music to listen to when the other IS home, and what kind to listen to when the other ISN'T home! No words are ever needed, just that deep down mutual understanding.
I have this with my close friends too. The ones that I've known long enough that I know all those quirks/traits that make them such good friends. The friends that always have a kind word to say, and then those who are rather tactless and usually have hurtful words to say (I try to stay away from those ones, but there's a number of them in my life that I still must deal with occasionally). The friends that know when it's been too long and just need a good visit, and those you feel you must visit with because of obligation rather than desire. The friends that lift you up, and the friends that pull you down and exhaust you. It takes a balance of them all, although I highly recommend that you dose yourself with more uplifting friends than pulling-down ones. And forgive their mistakes. And pray that they forgive yours. And be thankful for those mutual (unsaid) understandings that make your friendship what it is.
