It's late, but I'm having one of my pregnancy induced insomnia nights, so I might as well update a post (or two if I can't sleep!)...So, where were we?
I do believe it's time to write a bit about the next biggest change in our life, which will be baby #4, coming soon to our home (due mid Sept.) I have different thoughts with this pregnancy, knowing that I'll have as many children as my parents ever did, and surpassing Greg's parents. That's a weird feeling! Adding homeschooling to the mix, and I'm really not sure how it'll all work out, to be truthful. The blessing I can see right now though, is that my biggest helper will be home with me, and not off to school where I'd be stuck at home with a medium-good helper and a very useless (but eager) helper and a new baby. This baby does happen to be arriving at the middle of gardening/canning/school starting time of year, so that should leave for a busy fall. And since I have ideas of grandeur about my garden (again) this year, I hope some things will work in my favor.
Before we found out we were expecting this baby, I had some qualms about having more children. Although I wanted a 'large' family (whatever that may be), I didn't have the confidence to trust that God would adequately supply me with the strength and wisdom to do so. I talked to one of my wise friends, and she advised me of some things that I found very encouraging, which I'll share with you.
1) In the Bible, children are always spoken of as a blessing. Why would we turn away/delay having blessings heaped upon us? (and debt is a curse, in yet we're often quick to get into it)
2) God also always promises that He is with us, and will adequately 'arm' us for the task He has given. (money, health, strength, wisdom, etc.)
3) We need to look at child spacing/fertility/family planning with an eternal perspective, not a carnal one. Pray that God would override our limited human understanding, and fill us with His wisdom and truths.
4) Pray daily for strength, wisdom, patience, and all other virtues we may need as a parent. "Lean not on your own understanding" to tackle this most important job.
5) Don't let the world's views shape our Christian walk and decision making. This can often be influenced by well-meaning Christian people who do not have Biblical wisdom when it comes to these matters, and can often be our own family members (or even spouse). Pray for conviction, that you wouldn't be swayed by ideas that are not from above!
That said, I was confident that God would not only adequately arm me (and my dear husband), but that He would willingly take over all the details that I seem to fret about. This is a daily struggle; as I want to know all, see all and understand all that is going on in my world, but I know that I just can't handle it on my own. I've tried that before, and only end up in failure.
I do still have lots of fears (umm, not sleeping for instance) that I am trying hard to hand over to Him, but can only continue to trust that God knows what is best for me, and that He's shaping and molding me into the person He wants me to be. Challenges are never easy, but we do gain experience, patience, and sympathy for others when we are faced with trials.
I do have a few new things to try as far as sleeping/nursing goes with the next baby. I don't know that they'll solve anything, but that's my only hope from this end of things. I've had 3 babies with the same issues , which is why I've been scared to go forward. I see other people's placid babies around and wonder what that could be like. I've never had even moments where I could relax that first year, or moments when nursing my baby was even the least bit enjoyable. It's just a job that I do because I know it's best for my baby and myself, and through it all have been able to look back to see where I've bonded with them and been thankful for those sleepless nights (after they're done and over with). I also feel I am in tune with my children alot more through my added time with them when they are babies. It's not enjoyable time for me, because usually they have a tummy ache or are over tired (a.k.a. excessive crying), but I do learn alot about them that would be easier to miss if a baby was more relaxed. I've also discovered baby wearing, which has been the biggest blessing so far. With my oldest two kids, I just let everything else go to care for them, but with more kids, that just can't happen. We need to eat occasionally, and clean clothes are a bit of a necessity.
So, that's about where it stands. Trying to take it one day at a time, and praying for guidance to make changes that may make things run smoother, so that I can actually enjoy my baby, while he/she is yet a baby. Please keep us in your prayers, that we could seek His will more and that we could also trust His guidance rather than try to figure things out on our own.
Oh, and James is convinced this baby is a girl, because that's what he's been praying for. (so that Elise will have a sister to play with and will leave him and Luke alone). Luke was praying for a kitty, but will agree to a new baby instead since he didn't have a choice in the matter. We'll have to wait and see!
I do believe it's time to write a bit about the next biggest change in our life, which will be baby #4, coming soon to our home (due mid Sept.) I have different thoughts with this pregnancy, knowing that I'll have as many children as my parents ever did, and surpassing Greg's parents. That's a weird feeling! Adding homeschooling to the mix, and I'm really not sure how it'll all work out, to be truthful. The blessing I can see right now though, is that my biggest helper will be home with me, and not off to school where I'd be stuck at home with a medium-good helper and a very useless (but eager) helper and a new baby. This baby does happen to be arriving at the middle of gardening/canning/school starting time of year, so that should leave for a busy fall. And since I have ideas of grandeur about my garden (again) this year, I hope some things will work in my favor.
Before we found out we were expecting this baby, I had some qualms about having more children. Although I wanted a 'large' family (whatever that may be), I didn't have the confidence to trust that God would adequately supply me with the strength and wisdom to do so. I talked to one of my wise friends, and she advised me of some things that I found very encouraging, which I'll share with you.
1) In the Bible, children are always spoken of as a blessing. Why would we turn away/delay having blessings heaped upon us? (and debt is a curse, in yet we're often quick to get into it)
2) God also always promises that He is with us, and will adequately 'arm' us for the task He has given. (money, health, strength, wisdom, etc.)
3) We need to look at child spacing/fertility/family planning with an eternal perspective, not a carnal one. Pray that God would override our limited human understanding, and fill us with His wisdom and truths.
4) Pray daily for strength, wisdom, patience, and all other virtues we may need as a parent. "Lean not on your own understanding" to tackle this most important job.
5) Don't let the world's views shape our Christian walk and decision making. This can often be influenced by well-meaning Christian people who do not have Biblical wisdom when it comes to these matters, and can often be our own family members (or even spouse). Pray for conviction, that you wouldn't be swayed by ideas that are not from above!
That said, I was confident that God would not only adequately arm me (and my dear husband), but that He would willingly take over all the details that I seem to fret about. This is a daily struggle; as I want to know all, see all and understand all that is going on in my world, but I know that I just can't handle it on my own. I've tried that before, and only end up in failure.
I do still have lots of fears (umm, not sleeping for instance) that I am trying hard to hand over to Him, but can only continue to trust that God knows what is best for me, and that He's shaping and molding me into the person He wants me to be. Challenges are never easy, but we do gain experience, patience, and sympathy for others when we are faced with trials.
I do have a few new things to try as far as sleeping/nursing goes with the next baby. I don't know that they'll solve anything, but that's my only hope from this end of things. I've had 3 babies with the same issues , which is why I've been scared to go forward. I see other people's placid babies around and wonder what that could be like. I've never had even moments where I could relax that first year, or moments when nursing my baby was even the least bit enjoyable. It's just a job that I do because I know it's best for my baby and myself, and through it all have been able to look back to see where I've bonded with them and been thankful for those sleepless nights (after they're done and over with). I also feel I am in tune with my children alot more through my added time with them when they are babies. It's not enjoyable time for me, because usually they have a tummy ache or are over tired (a.k.a. excessive crying), but I do learn alot about them that would be easier to miss if a baby was more relaxed. I've also discovered baby wearing, which has been the biggest blessing so far. With my oldest two kids, I just let everything else go to care for them, but with more kids, that just can't happen. We need to eat occasionally, and clean clothes are a bit of a necessity.
So, that's about where it stands. Trying to take it one day at a time, and praying for guidance to make changes that may make things run smoother, so that I can actually enjoy my baby, while he/she is yet a baby. Please keep us in your prayers, that we could seek His will more and that we could also trust His guidance rather than try to figure things out on our own.
Oh, and James is convinced this baby is a girl, because that's what he's been praying for. (so that Elise will have a sister to play with and will leave him and Luke alone). Luke was praying for a kitty, but will agree to a new baby instead since he didn't have a choice in the matter. We'll have to wait and see!
