What I've been reading these days

Here's a few reviews of what I've been reading lately.  The good ones and the duds too.

Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters by Dr. Meg Meeker.

I got this book for Greg to read, but I read it and pointed out the highlights to him instead since he doesn't get much chances to read these days.  Here's a few highlights for fathers:
-Make a plan for your expectations when your daughter(s) are young.  Teach them often.  Repeat.
-Have courage under fire.  Be prepared to give an answer for why you do what you do and believe what you believe.
-Be the leader.  Show her how to make decisions by making wise ones yourself.  Don't let her (or your wife) be the boss.
-Have willpower when things get hard, painful, confusing or just plain crazy.
-Teach humility, it's the starting point for all other virtues.  More importantly, live it and that will teach more than you'll ever have to.
-Make her world larger than her and her talents.  It's not all about her.  Teach her to recognize her strengths, but also her limitations and how to deal with them.
-Hug your daughter often.  Especially as she grows older and into her teens.  Many dads shy away when their daughters get older, but the girls actually need it more.
-Teach your daughters to delay sex and teach her how.  Until marriage would be preferable, of course.  Tell them why.  Tell them how valuable they are to you, and even more to Jesus.  Give them a purity ring or necklace if you want.
-Teach her that she isn't a princess, in the way that princesses take, princesses demand, that princesses want more.  Teach her to be a pioneer woman instead.  Pioneers expect things to get better by their hard work, know how to problem solve and look out for others rather than selfishly for themselves.
-Have as much grit at home as you have at work.  Don't be a pushover or disengage when you get home, your family needs the same dedication and integrity you have in the work world.
-If you want your daughter to marry a man with integrity, be a man of integrity yourself.  Are you honest, hard working, loving and protective?  If you want a son-in-law who is those things, you must be those things yourself.  Your daughters will marry what they know.
-Treat the internet fearfully and with respect.  It can be an asset, but can also be a downfall in time spent, pornography, and other areas that will weaken the will and the conscience.
-Teach her who God is and why He's important.  Every daughter will run into hard times in her life, and God is the only answer and only hope for this world and the next.  If you don't know who He is yourself, find out.  She'll need help and she'll need hope at some point in her life.  Give her the tools to have those things.
-Don't blur the lines between right and wrong for your daughters.  Whatever popular culture is doing or whatever your daughter thinks you should be doing, don't be swayed.  Don't tolerate abuse, rudeness or dishonesty.  Deal with them appropriately.  Confront her as necessary.
-Most of all, make her a part of your everyday life, her whole life through.  Listen to her, let her help you with everyday tasks, ask her deep questions, tell her your beliefs.

Awesome book, much more inside!

Love and Logic by Foster Cline & Jim Fay 

This book was recommended to me by a couple of people, and all I have to say is what my Dad used to always say when we'd come up with a new idea, "It would be a good idea, if it would only work." Yeah, that sums up this book.

The main idea is that kids learn to make good decisions when they're little and the stakes are lower so that when they get older they know how to make good decisions when the stakes are higher.  Good ideas and good theories, but not very effective in a homeschooled family with many children.  Here's why:
-I'm not going to sit here and give choices to 5 children many hundred times per day, each with a good and bad consequence and then wait to see if the consequence plays out (it may take days, weeks or months before the consequence teaches them the appropriate lesson).  Kids just need to obey.
-I have to live with the bad consequences because they're home with me all day.  For example (this is one used in the book), the kids don't want to go to bed.  So, you let them stay up as long as they want, and then wake them up for school the next morning at their normal time, no matter how tired they are, and send them off.  By evening they are a wreck and never want to stay up late again.  But, as a homeschool mom, I get to put up with that grouchy kid or kids fighting with each other all day, not able to focus, etc.  Or a kid whose blood sugar bottoms out because I used lunch/supper as a bargaining tool ("finish your homework then you can join us for supper") and they'll learn to miraculously do their homework because they want supper.  Umm, no, my kids just get grouchy, overwhelmed and turn into bullies if I tried that.  They use meal time as a bargaining tool often in the book, which I'm not willing to do.

Anyhow, I read the whole book, hoping for a few gems, but it ended up being a bunch of mumbo-jumbo pop-psychology written for parents with 2 kids who send them off to school every day.  I have heard that they are teaching this method to teachers to help discipline the kids at school and I can see how it would be helpful there when the options for discipline are more limited.

Carry On, Warrior, Thoughts on Life Unarmed by Glennon Doyle Melton

This is just an enjoyable read about life as a mom and wife.  Humorous, insightful and helpful at embracing your beautiful, messy, real life.  I don't agree with many of her beliefs about God, but the book overall has good lots of good ideas.  I've read her articles on Huffington Post for several years, so this is just a compilation of many of those.

Raising Godly Tomatoes by L. Elizabeth  Krueger

This is by far my favorite parenting book and I just got it back from being lent out and thought I should read it again and get re-motivated with my toddlers.  Good stuff.  Lots of good stuff.

Proverbs for Parenting

This is a book my older sister recommended so I bought a copy.  Greg and I have been going through it, and I hope to start posting these on our daily white board to help teach the kids at breakfast each morning.   The lady who compiled it recommends using these as discipline tools, but I think that it's more effective to know these proverbs on an everyday basis rather than just pounding them into them in times of trouble.

That's all for now!

Christmas Letter 2015

Christmas 2015

Sending our love and greetings to you now again at Christmas. As I address each card, I think of you and pray for peace, health, strength and safety for all of our friends and family. You are all so far flung, that it seems impossible that we could ever visit you all! This year I'm going to have the kids update you from our year.

With Love and God's Peace, Greg & Rachel and Celeste

September 2015

Luke age 10

James age 8

Elise age 6

Isaac age 4

Celeste 18 months

This Advent hymn has been coming to my head over and over.  So many people are mourning, hopeless, lonely or sick.  Jesus is our only hope in this world and the next.  Christmas is a great time to remember that and turn to Him for healing of our bodies and souls

Comfort, comfort ye My people, Speak ye peace, thus saith our God;

Comfort those who sit in darkness, Mourning ’neath their sorrow’s load;

Speak ye to Jerusalem Of the peace that waits for them;

Tell her that her sins I cover, And her warfare now is over.

For the herald’s voice is crying In the desert far and near,

Bidding all men to repentance, Since the kingdom now is here.

O that warning cry obey! Now prepare for God a way!

Let the valleys rise to meet Him, And the hills bow down to greet Him.

Yea, her sins our God will pardon, Blotting out each dark misdeed;

All that well deserved His anger He will no more see nor heed.

She has suffered many a day, Now her griefs have passed away,

God will change her pining sadness Into ever springing gladness.

Make ye straight what long was crooked, Make the rougher places plain:

Let your hearts be true and humble, As befits His holy reign,

For the glory of the Lord Now o’er the earth is shed abroad,

And all flesh shall see the token That His Word is never broken.

~Johannes G. Olearius, Germany, 1671

Birthdays, visions, self-preservation, fertility and taking care of ourselves

This post is going to just be a plethora of thoughts that have been swirling around in my head these last few months.  I hope they make sense when I get finished.  Since I've been feeling rather tired most of this pregnancy, I have had lots of time to ponder and contemplate.  I also am turning 40 next month, so am trying to evaluate a few key areas of my life as well as think about where I've been.  What I've learned, what I still need to learn (or relearn), areas of weakness as well as strengths that I can work on and pray about.

The term "dying to self" came to my head the other night and I'm trying to think of where that fits in to life.  As moms, we die to self each day when we sacrifice our needs/wants for those of our spouse and our children.  This in turn makes us feel needed and satisfies something deep inside of us that nothing else can.  We all know that serving our self can feel slightly gratifying on the surface, but deep down there's nothing there of substance.  But, if we never take care of our own needs, and are constantly serving others and catering to them, we get depleted and depression and resentment creep in.  There's a fine line to it for sure, a line that is constantly changing with the daily ebbs and flows of life.  One blog I recently read said, "I've been wondering how I ought to think about this process of caring for my own needs, and how I ought to identify my real needs versus my selfish preferences or my misguided expectations." (source, well worth reading) Isn't that the truth?  Often it's hard to tell what those desires are or where they even come from, and what may be a real need one day may be a selfish preference the next.

As an introvert, I've often wondered how much alone time I should have each day to sort my thoughts and just rest my head from all the questions, crying and overall noise that accompanies a house with many children.  I have discovered that for myself, I need some time in bed each morning of quiet to sort out what I'm going to do that day, some time in the afternoon at quiet time (kids each go to separate rooms so they get some reprieve from each other too) to just rest from all the organizing, commandeering, bossing (politely, of course) and then in the evening I take a bath almost every evening to read and/or refresh without distraction or talking to anyone.  I don't have to leave home to do this, but have found that I feel frazzled and resentful if I don't do it consistently.  Even too much time with Greg at home can overload my introvert head, as much as I love talking to him and love having him around.  Often we just sit quietly on the couch because we're too stimulated to do any more talking by evening.  Some moms have one night a week to themselves while their husband watches the kids, some exercise at a set hour...but finding some way to recharge is vital to our overall health.  I read a book recently about a couple who moved to Alaska to homestead with 5 young children and she said that every evening she had to go for a walk outside by herself after everyone else was in bed just to have a bit of freedom from the small noisy cabin, and peacefulness to think clearly when her husband came home from his long day.  Do what you can with what you have to work with.

Along the same lines, I've wondered how to give to others (husband and children specifically) when you have nothing left to give.  How do you meet their needs when your own stores run so low?  Everyone I've talked to about this subject tells me to "lower my expectations", but I don't know how to do this any more than I already have.  We've had rough times before and cut out as many extras as we feel is necessary.  The other day I talked to our chiropractor about it, and he said that when times were really hard for he and his wife (they have 11 children), they would just look at each other and say, "We'll just have to hunker down and get through this.  It'll end someday!"  I know it will too, but I also want to be able to enjoy the little things in my life today without being overwhelmed the guilt, inadequacies and failures that seem to stare me in the face when I'm lying on the couch once again because I'm d.o.n.e. for the day.  I want to be pleasant when my kids come to me with requests and to show me things rather than being overwhelmed because of all the chores that didn't get finished today again.  I want to be ready to read when my toddlers bring me book after book after book because I'm lying down and look like I have nothing better to do.  But, I also need my kids to do some work each day, because I can't keep up with things like I am used to doing.  I don't have the energy to pick up all their messes, when they are usually bored and fully capable of cleaning up after themselves.  I do get so weary of the nagging, that then I let things slide for a few days, only to find that the task becomes insurmountable because I didn't remind them to do it every day.  Today it took all morning to clean one room so it could be vacuumed that had been mostly unattended to (by me) all weekend.  One room's floor, two days messes.  Ridiculous.  And that was with a timer (and a treat motivation) and me cajoling them along with what needed to be done step by step.  Bedroom cleaning, anyone?  Even worse!  I've wondered if we should hire someone to do the vacuuming and such, but then I also know that it would be the kids that are getting out of a job, not me.  And it's the cleaning the floors before vacuuming that takes all the time and energy, not the actual vacuuming and floor sweeping/mopping itself.  Those are fun and breezish.  No great inspiration here, only more questions!

One of the other things I think about a lot is fertility.  There seems to be such vastly different views on it, ranging from pure hatred (Planned Parenthood supporters) to worshiping of it also, with everything in between.  From total support when they hear of another baby coming into this world, to extreme disdain as well, from jealousy over another's new life to absolute relief that it isn't them expecting the baby.  No matter what stage of womanhood you're in, it is hard. It's hard to be pregnant and not feel well for various health reasons, it's hard to lose a baby, it's hard to have baby after baby, in yet it's also hard to have no baby when you want one.  I have gotten slack while expecting my last two babies from a woman who wishes she had more children (even though she has more than me) because in her opinion "it's not fair, because I want another baby and haven't gotten one".  She doesn't realize that for 10 years I was single, working at a minimum wage job, then working 2 jobs while putting myself through college, and patiently waiting for a husband while she was having her babies.  Some women wait much longer than I did.  Another woman struggled with infertility for many years and finally was able to have a baby at age 30.  Well, I was 30 when I had my first baby too, except that I was single for all those years and no one had sympathy for me because of my loneliness. I feel very blessed for my life, the way it has turned out in God's perfect time, but it's not something I have set out to plan or do, but instead have tried to trust in God and go where He leads me and do what He wants me to do. What other people think or feel or where they stand in their own journey with fertility, is not my concern.  I also hear many women touting "we trust God with our fertility", as if those who make choices otherwise have no faith.  To me it seems more of a seeking of validation for their own beliefs, rather than a life of faith.  A life of faith needs no explanation to anyone.  We can trust that God leads us and guides us and helps us make decisions while He also knows our frame, our shortcomings and our life's situation.  What may be right for someone, may not be the best for someone else.  Any way you look at it, women have been "cursed" (for better and for worse) with childbearing since the fall of Eve.

The other thing I've been thinking about is visions.  I'm not talking about seeing visions, but just visions of the future that come to our minds bit by bit over time.  Visions of where your children will end up when they grow up, visions of how your family will end up, visions of the future in any way shape or form.  Greg and I were talking about this also, and how God brought us together so perfectly, and how we each met the vision each other had for a future husband/wife, in yet where do those visions come from?  Does God put those visions in our minds and hearts, and then let us know about them so we can pray about them?  Are they from our carnal portion (it seems unlikely, since they are usually well and good things for our life)?  With 4/5 of our children, their names came to either Greg or I many months before we even conceived them.  How did those names get there?   We knew what gender we were having based on the name that came to us long before we knew about them.  Isaac was our wild card.  We sat down and chose his name because we had thought all along he was a girl (we had been given a girls name), and 3 weeks before he was born we found out he was a boy.  He has been such a blessing to us, but he did make me lose some confidence in the visions I'd been given regarding my babies!  We'll see what this next baby turns out to be (hopefully we'll be able to tell at the next appt.) because I was given a name over a year ago for this one.  I'll keep you posted!  Greg and I have also both had visions of our family size, but had never shared those visions with each other until just this year.  And our visions are the same.  I've had my vision since I was a young teenager (although it lost some hope when I was single all those years), and he's had his about the same amount of time.  So then I question, where do these visions come from, how much do we rely on them and how much do we ignore them?   

God says he will give us the desires of our heart, so maybe He puts those desires in there so that we then can see Him working to fulfill them.   Often we pray "thy will be done", which is well and good, but maybe it's even easier to trust that His will will be done if we knew that He is the one putting those desires into our hearts in the first place.  It kind of goes back to the question about seeking our own desires or our misguided expectations.  Often we don't know where our desires stem from.  "Search me, O God,  and know my thoughts..."

The next thing I've been thinking about is the self-preservation that comes with pregnancy.  Somehow we are okay to be dying to self on a daily basis, but then when pregnancy comes along, we learn how important it is to care for ourselves.  We see our limits much more clearly due to the hormones present to keep that baby safe and healthy.  I remember my cousin's wife (who had ridden horses her whole life) just having a gut feeling that she shouldn't ride a horse one day.  Later on she found out they were expecting twins.  God has such an amazing way to keep our little babies safe, that our hormones tell us where our boundaries are more clearly.  I certainly am not able to just do what I want to do when I'm pregnant, as my body tells me my limits so much more clearly (hungry, tired, chilled, needing of emotional support, sensitive to smells, outside expectations, and so much more).  I don't know if the same hormones are in charge of the emotions, but I am so much more emotional when pregnant (I even was crying in the grocery checkout the other day when a woman was telling me about her son dying 5 years ago...totally not me at all).  I tend to be more sentimental as well, recalling all kinds of memories from the past.  My dreams portray all kinds of people in my life that I had completely forgotten about.  I just think it's amazing how God made these intuitions kick in during pregnancy for the maternal instincts to engage and to take care of that super-vulnerable unborn baby.

How about turning 40?  How does that feel?  I'm actually okay with it.  I try to look at all the things I've learned over the years rather than just focusing getting older.  When I look at the younger women, I try to remember how far I've come from when I was their age.  I'm actually thankful I'm not their age anymore.  Some of the things I've noticed that don't matter anymore are clothes (comfortable and functional rather than fashionable, although I still try to look nice), getting excited about events (I usually have a sick kid or two and have been disappointed far too many times...if I can go, it's a bonus, if not, oh well), having a social life (same as the last one), eating out (too expensive, too chaotic even if the kids behave well), driving a car (won't be driving one anytime soon either!).  I also have learned to be more compassionate for others (and not so judgmental, although I am still learning this one), more patient, more forgiving, and most of all more understanding of myself in terms of my weaknesses, my frailties, my shortcomings which helps me understand others and have more compassion for them.  I am still completely unartistic, I still hate most crafts (because that would require creativity), I still like to sleep way too much, and I still would eat cold cereal every day if I bought it (which I don't because it spikes my blood sugar and I feel like crap every time I eat it, even the "healthy" stuff).  I do have some fun plans for my birthday, but we'll see if they actually materialize (not getting my hopes up).  I do still cling to much birthday baggage that I also would like to be free from, but as of yet, am not.

I've learned that I can't change other people, but I can change the way I react to them and I can pray for them.  This quote below came in the mail to me as a magnet when I ordered some books one time and I've kept it on my fridge ever since.  Recently it has come to me over and over in different situations, and I keep reminding myself of the words.  It makes us realize our own imperfections and helps us to be more understanding and forgiving when others don't do what we'd want them to do.  Let's keep our expectations realistic and reasonable.  And be willing to overlook faults in others just as we'd like them to do with our faults.  The good old Golden Rule!

Whew, that was rather lengthy.  Any thoughts or helps welcome!

Breakfast and Lunch Ideas around here

Lately I was asked to write about what we do for lunches.  We definitely don't do anything special, and try to make it as quick yet nutritious as possible.  For right now we are still gluten-free due to one child needing to be, but hopefully that'll only be for another couple of months as she is almost healed (thanks to our Naturopath).  I decided to add breakfasts in here too, as I do get bored with what we do and hope some of you will add some of your ideas to both categories (hint, hint!)

Breakfast (weekdays)

-Scrambled eggs with grated zucchini (fry it for a bit by itself first to lose some moisture or your eggs will be soggy), green onions, peppers, cheese, ham or whatever else I can find, add toast if necessary.

-Kefir smoothies- plain kefir or cottage cheese or yogurt, banana, blueberries, apples or other fruit, hemp seeds, flax seeds, gelatin, green powder, cod liver oil, coconut oil, psyllium husks.  Whatever is in it, it is the whole meal, not just a drink on the side.  I'm too busy/lazy to do a breakfast and a smoothie. My Grandma Kurtti used to always say, "there's a fine line between laziness and efficiency!"

-Soaked oatmeal- this is our quick breakfast when we need to get out the door in a hurry.  I soak old-fashioned oats in their water (with a bit of kefir or ACV to make more digestible) in the slow cooker and then Greg turns it on high when he leaves for work in the morning.  When the rest of us get up, it's ready to go.  You can also do steel-cut oats the same way, but just cook them on low all night long.  Add frozen blueberries to cool it off quickly if you're really in a hurry and put it in a coffee mugs to take in the car.

-Creamy buckwheat hot cereal- our favorite gluten-free cereal from Bob's Red Mill.  Doesn't taste at all like buckwheat pancakes.

-Sausage patties and baked yams- I either bake extra yams the night before for supper, or microwave them quickly or fry them in a frying pan with a bit of water and a lid on them.  Top with butter and cinnamon.

Weekend breakfasts- pannukakku, soaked pancakes, bacon and eggs with home-shredded hash browns, or on the rare occasion biscuits and sausage gravy with eggs.  Hard boiled eggs or oatmeal for a quick Sunday morning breakfast also.

Lunch

-Leftovers from supper heated in my small slow cooker- this is my favorite go-to for lunches, but often I don't cook enough to do this.  I put it in the slow cooker in the fridge the night before when I'm cleaning up from supper so it's ready to go after breakfast.  In a perfect world I'd have this every day, but more often than not it doesn't happen.

-Chicken noodle soup- heat chicken (bone) broth and when it boils then add GF spiral pasta and cook until almost done, then add canned or leftover chicken, frozen mixed vegetables and heat it all you're done.  This is James' favorite.  Leave a few vegetables frozen so the kids can add them at the end to cool their soup back down.

-Refried bean burritos- refried beans heated with butter and shredded cheese and wrapped up in a tortilla

-Egg, tuna, salmon or imitation crab salad on crackers or rice cakes- these we do often. Quick and easy.

-Cheese, deli meat and cracker stacks- the kids love these.  Just set out a tray of these with some veggies too and you're set.

-Ants on a log (celery) or a boat (apple wedge). Fill with peanut butter. Top with raisins of course.

-Beanie weenies- sliced up hot dogs in pork and beans- these are thanks to Calvin and Hobbes.  Calvin's favorite lunch.

-PB&J on rice cakes- we always happen to eat these crumbly things right after we finish vacuuming.  And then the floor is messy again!

-Pasta, feta and veggies- one of our favorites.  I've made this hundreds of times. Pepperoni and ham work well also.  Add extra cheese if you want to make it more like mac and cheese.  Use regular cheese if your kids don't like feta.  Thanks, Megan!

-Beef and pea soup- like my easy hamburger soup but just add frozen peas to the beef broth and leftover ground beef.

-Canned chili- for those super busy days.

-Hummus with veggies/chips- we do this a lot also.

-Beans and Rice- usually cooked beforehand, just heated up with some veggies

On the weekends we usually do Reubens, French Dips, Tuna Melts or grilled cheese and tomato soup as these are some of Greg's favorite sandwiches.

For lunch we stick to raw and fermented vegetables unless we have cooked ones already cooked up.  We pull out the baby carrots, cherry tomatoes, English cucumbers (because I'm Canadian and that's what I grew up with and peeling a cucumber is just too much work), bell peppers, raw sauerkraut, pickles and zucchini relish every day and add some to whatever else we're eating.  Sometimes I add ranch, but most days everyone just gobbles them down by themselves.  We also drink our daily dose of water kefir and kombucha with our lunch, usually flavored with some sort of juice.

Snacks

We don't do many snacks, mostly because we eat breakfast later at 9 am, lunch at 1pm and supper at 5-6 pm.  In the afternoon each day at 4 pm, we have "fruit time" with whatever fruit we have on hand.  The other go-to's are cheese slices/sticks, trail mix (almonds, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, dried fruit).  If a snack is needed at bedtime, yogurt and kefir are what the kids get.  Occasionally more protein and blood sugar needs raising, so peanut butter on/with a banana or a  milk cup comes to the rescue too!

And that's what we do around here!  What do you like to eat at your house?

Hummin' along with Hummus

We have been learning to enjoy hummus over this past year.  Knowing it is a great source of protein, is cheap and is great for cleaning your liver (as all legumes are), I've had to learn to make it myself lately.  When I first started buying it, the kids stuck up their noses at it, but over time have gotten used to it after repeated exposures.  Their favorite (and mine) store brand/flavor Sabra Roasted Red Pepper Hummus and they now can devour a family size container in mere minutes.  That led me to learning how to make it from scratch from purely a practical standpoint.

Since my food processor is rather underpowered and had very dull blades (that's what you get for $5 at a yard sale), my best attempts at hummus proved chunky and bumpy.  I did acquire a high quality blender for my birthday last year and now I'm in business.  Smooth, creamy and flavorful!  I can now make hummus to my heart's content.  We often use it for an easy snack or lunch with either tortilla chips or raw veggies.  I did bribe my kids by using their favorite chips as the medium to get the hummus down for quite a while as they got used to the flavor.  "You can have a chip if you dip it in hummus" (in a sweet sing-songy voice).  It slowly worked.  The little kids have always had it in their life, so they were a much easier sell.  If we're fighting sickness, I add a few extra garlic cloves as this is a great way to get a bunch of fresh garlic into everyone.

This is the basic recipe I use, add variations as desired.  I now have ventured into soaking dry garbanzo beans, as they are even cheaper than the canned.  The only drawback with them is they don't have any liquid in them, so you have to add a bit more oil to make it smooth.  A bit of water works too.  The Tahini is a bit expensive to buy, but a bottle will last through many, many batches.

Hummus

2 T. olive or avocado oil

2 T. fresh lemon juice

2 T. Tahini (sesame seed paste)

1 clove garlic, quartered

1/2 t. sea salt

15 oz. chickpeas, drained and 1/4 c. liquid reserved

touch of honey or sweetener

Add all ingredients to blender, including reserved liquid.  Blend on low until smooth and creamy.  You may have to scrape down sides if it gets stuck.  Add more liquid if necessary.  Enjoy!

I've also added an avocado (turns it bright green) and yesterday added a roasted beet as recommended in the latest Sunset magazine (it turns it hot pink and makes the kids think you're making frosting) and they were both very good.  In my recipe book it also suggests adding kalamata olives (reduce salt), roasted garlic, chipotle pepper in adobo sauce, lime/cilantro, roasted red pepper with cumin and cayenne pepper, and using black beans rather than garbanzos (add cumin, smoked paprika and cayenne).  I'm excited to try them too!

Easy Hamburger Soup

Although the idea of a slow cooker is a good idea, it requires too much forethought for my life most days.  Instead, the Dutch oven has come to my rescue over and over because I can crank the heat and cook supper in the nick of time.  Here's my latest favorite soup that uses up all those extra veggies you don't know what to do with that are sitting in the fridge (or freezer).

It's very forgiving, so use whatever you have in whatever quantities you have.

Easy Hamburger Soup

In your Dutch oven, brown and break up into small pieces:

2-3 lbs. ground beef/meat (mine is usually still in the frozen state when I start)

1 onion, finely chopped

When that is browned, add 6-8 cups of beef broth/bone broth, keeping heat on med/high.

Then add vegetables of choice.  Our kids love it with just a bag of frozen peas added (which I do for a quick lunch, as it's so easy using leftover ground beef).  For supper I usually add many more vegetables to make it into a full meal.  Add the ones that take longest to cook first and the green leafy ones right at the end.

-cut green beans or peas

-fresh chopped tomatoes

-finely chopped cabbage

-bell peppers

-frozen vegetables of any sort

-celery

-carrots

-cauliflower (fresh or frozen)

-beets or potatoes are even good

-chard or spinach sliced finely (I even pulse it up in my blender sometimes so the kids eat it easier and add it right at the very end to retain the most nutrients.

If you're fighting infection, add a few cloves of chopped up garlic right at the end to keep the most infection fighting components intact.  You can also add herbs/spices such as basil, oregano, parsley, thyme for more seasoning.  Salt and pepper to taste.

Depression (in one big, huge nutshell)

When I thought about writing about all I've learned about depression, I thought it would be easy.  Tell my story and leave a few resources.  But as I started to write, it got longer and longer as there are so many other aspects to the causes, so many types of treatments and so many other variables, that then the subject became very daunting.  Greg and I have both suffered with it, but our paths of healing were different because our causes were different, and leave lots of links so you can look into each thing more yourself, since your story is going to be very different from mine (or my husbands).  If you just don't want the story and just the resources, skip down to the end.  Any links for more information are in turquoise so you can just click on them.

All through my 20s, I felt great.  I always had lots of energy, exercised frequently, was easily motivated and almost always in a good mood.   The only thing that was a negative was that I needed a lot of sleep each night, more than everyone else.  Even after we got married and throughout my first pregnancy, I still worked full-time 12 hour days as an ER tech and did fine.  I did start having chronic neck pain during this time which was unresolved through chiropractors (plural), massage, and all kinds of other treatments.  By this time we had moved to WA where I tried another couple of chiropractors, to no avail.  I remember just going in to the one of them crying and telling him that I couldn't even hold my baby because my neck hurt so bad.  He had me taking some herbal muscle relaxants (which took the edge off) and said, "well, at least you're taking these and not wrecking your liver with Tylenol.  Look on the bright side."  Ugh!

Soon I became pregnant with James and we went through 5 different mattresses during that pregnancy trying different things to get me comfortable enough to be able to sleep at night (even just a little).  I also found out about our now-chiropractors Dr. Darin and Dr. Anik when I was 7 months pregnant who were able to give me the best relief I'd found so far.   But still, my neck always hurt and I spent most of my time with new baby James in the LaZBoy because I hurt so bad to hold him without support.  He was a very fussy baby with a body full of eczema, so needed a lot of holding.

When he was 18 months old, we were up in Canada and my Mom suggested that I take James to the Master Herbalist that she and my Dad go to and see if we could find some answers for his health (he was still very fussy, very itchy and struggling).  We went to see her and then I decided at the last minute to see her myself to see if there was something missing in my diet/nutrition that was causing his health issues (so that if we had more children, we could prevent all this chaos).  She uses a technique called Live Blood Analysis which basically is just taking a drop of blood and looking at it under the microscope and is able to tell an insane amount of things about your health. She found out that James was not digesting his proteins and carbs, and that I had parasites very badly.  She said they were definitely from living on the farm and that I'd had them for at least 20 years .  She then said, "you must eat pretty healthy, because with these as bad as they are, you shouldn't even be able to get out of bed each day".  She also was able to pinpoint my neck pain and said that after a parasite cleanse, my neck pain would clear up in 6 weeks (the length of time it takes the body to get rid of them after a cleanse).  She said that the parasites settle in your weakest area and when flushed out, the pain will go away.  And it did.  In 6 weeks, just like she said.  I was frazzled and tired at this point (mostly due to James' sleeplessness) but still in good spirits.  No depression yet.

I was then optimistic that we were on the healing journey.  The Herbalist had gotten James feeling better (her treatment plan for him worked as well (digestive enzymes and probiotics 3x day) to give his liver a chance to heal and get back on track.  I was expecting Elise by now and felt pretty good throughout her pregnancy.  My neck pain was gone and I could sleep again.  But then when she was born, she cried and cried and cried.  She didn't sleep worth a hoot (I often would spend 8 hours of my day getting her to sleep- she'd sleep for 5-10 minutes, wake up and cry until I got her to sleep again and again). Nights weren't any better.  I tended to hers (and the other kids) needs, but my mental state was pretty poor.  As time went by, the lack of sleep from 2 fussy kids drug me down.  I had no idea where to turn, didn't have the energy to try anything new and plunged downward mentally.  The vast amount of crying she did frazzled my nerves even further.  By the time she was 18 months old, she was still not sleeping much in the day nor at night and I was pretty low.  Greg was in no better shape due to his stressful job and having to get to bed so early for it that we both were just kind of in a stupor most of the time.  I'd been depressed for at least a year by now.

We had been praying about what to do with her, with us, and with our health when I remembered about Sonja (the vitamin lady) out in Clatskanie.  I made an appointment to see her and Greg came along.  She does muscle testing (applied kinesiology) and I tested low in my thyroid, my adrenals and essential fatty acids.  She gave (sold!) me some vitamins and in 4 days I was back to my old self again.  I had had lab work done on my thyroid and it had tested out fine, but obviously it was not.  I've since learned that lab tests are only sort of reliable (more about that later).  Since then, I've either been on supplements to boost my thyroid or my adrenals or both and have felt back to what I should.  I've also had 2 healthy babies now that my own health is back to where it should be.  I've since also since discovered that both James and Elise's health issues/allergies were due to the stress in my body from all the lack of nutrients (that the parasites stole) and also hormone levels out of control. (A mom will even rob from the adrenals of her unborn baby once theirs are developed, which is probably what I did to Elise, and why her coping skills then were shot when she was born).

Greg took a different route and went to our local Naturopathic Doctor Dr. Briggs (in Clatskanie) and followed his adrenal fatigue protocol.  It took about 2 years of healing with random saliva cortisol levels.  When he started, his cortisol was flat lined on the bottom of the graph and when he was finished it had peaks where it should have.  He also had to change jobs due to the stress at his old one became too much.  It's good to see him laughing again...I missed my good-natured husband, although his now-boss likes to pile on the stress heavily too.  Still working on that one.

So, after that lengthy saga, here's a few ideas of what to do for yourself if you (or your loved ones) are struggling with depression.  There are many root causes, so I'll try to list the ones that come to mind so that you can delve into them more yourself.  This list is certainly not even the tip of the iceberg!  And you'll have to take your health into your own hands.  A medical Dr. will be no help to you in these areas, except to order some lab tests (which you'll likely test fine for).

1) Parasites/Yeast overgrowth-  Do you have bugs in your belly?  Parasites steal your nutrients and excrete ammonia and clog up your liver.   Who wants that?  A cleanse is easy, non-invasive and no trouble at all.  Most people de-worm their pets, but don't consider doing one themselves, although through the ages, people have always fasted seasonally which does the same thing.  If you've ever have/had animals/pets, garden, have been to a third world country, have ever eaten slightly raw meat, eaten sushi or live on a farm you likely have parasites.  If you can find someone who muscle tests or does live blood analysis to find out for sure, do so.  If not, just do a cleanse.  Here's a few reputable companies as well as more info. Renew Life, Mountain Meadow Herbs, Humaworm (symptom list also), Standard Process.  If pregnant or nursing, you can use olive leaf extract (Mountain Meadow Herbs).   Candida yeast overgrowth goes hand in hand with parasites, and often if you have one, you have both.   The symptoms can be similar too.  Tackling candida can be more challenging, but feeling better is worth it!  **Make sure your spouse does a cleanse too, or you'll just keep getting reinfected.

2) Low Magnesium- because of our high stress, poor soil (nutrients), and bombardment with things that deplete magnesium, low magnesium is almost endemic.  It's such an easy fix too.   All of these things will help ease depression.  Because...Magnesium regulates cortisol.  Magnesium lowers blood sugar.  Magnesium supports thyroid.  Magnesium aids sleep. Magnesium fuels cellular energy. Magnesium makes hormones.  Magnesium activates vitamin D.  Magnesium is anti-aging. (source)   A product like Natural Calm is easy to start with.  Start out on a low dose and gradually work up to more.  Epsom salts baths will help too.

3) Poor Nutrition (even with excellent diet)- There are many reasons our bodies aren't getting the nutrients we need for a healthy mind and body.  Sometimes it's diet (not enough vegetables, too many grains/carbs and sugar, poor soil quality or long shipping times so the nutrients aren't even in the food by the time we get them, etc.), but often it's that our digestion is poor and we aren't digesting or absorbing the food we're eating.  This may be due to stress, allergies/food sensitivities (diagnosed or not), eating too fast (we moms don't do that do we?), low stomach acid (from low mineral levels), poor gut flora (bad bacteria outnumber the good), or poor liver function (below).  If you didn't read my recent post on improving your digestion, here it is.  Poor nutrition also equals low serotonin, which is your feel good neurotransmitter. Serotonin is produced in the gut, so poor gut health results in low serotonin.  Beets are great for increasing serotonin in the gut, cleansing the liver, as well as probiotics.  Focusing on B vitamins, probiotics and essential fatty acids will help your nutrition dramatically, as well as taking digestive enzymes to help digest what you do eat.   The gut-brain connection goes both ways.  Poor gut function=poor brain function and vice versa.  

4) Poor Liver Function- Your liver is your big huge filter and if it gets clogged, everything downstream will suffer.  And that would be your heart, your brain and your hormones.  Think of a car's oil filter.  If it gets clogged up, how well does it work?  Your body is the same way.  Environmental toxins, prescription meds, smoking or alcohol intake, ammonia (from parasites), hormones (especially birth control pills and hormone replacement therapy), and poor nutrition can all clog up your liver.  Read my post here about liver health and start taking steps to clean your clogged filter!  Here's a list of symptoms to see how healthy your liver is or isn't.  Here's foods to help clean it.   There are also several kinds of gall bladder flushes to help get rid of any gall stones that may be impeding liver function. Here's one kind and here's another.  This is a long geeky article on the long reaching effects of a good vs. bad liver if you want to read more.  Look for liver supplements with milk thistle and dandelion in them as they will do wonders for a sluggish, over-worked liver.  If you have any hormone imbalances, you likely have liver congestion.  Although your liver doesn't produce most of these hormones; it is what regulates the sex hormones (estrogen, progesterone, etc.), aldosterone (fluid balance hormone), insulin/glucagon/glucose (blood sugar), testosterone, and cortisol (stress/fight & flight) and the liver are closely entwined as well.

5) Adrenal Fatigue- your adrenals are what help you deal with stress.  They get taxed and don't work effectively if stress isn't eliminated or dealt with.  Many of us have high levels of stress in our lives and aren't able to eliminate them (jobs, caregiving, family problems/worries, etc.), so our adrenals take the toll.  My blog posts about it tells a lot more, but Dr. Wilson is one of the most well-respected experts on the subject.  The medical doctors dismiss such a thing as adrenal fatigue and it is not even a medically diagnosible disease, even though it afflicts so many thousands of people.  The saliva cortisol test is the best test possible for seeing if your adrenals are doing what they're supposed to be, but you'll likely have to find a Naturopath to get it ordered.  

6) Over or Underactive Thyroid- The thyroid and adrenals go hand in hand.  They help each other.  If one is stressed, the other will be also.  If your thyroid is low, you'll feel sluggish and dreary.  The problem is that ordinary lab results rarely diagnose thyroid problems, because the range of what is "normal" is so huge.  The doctor sees the numbers and dismisses it right away if they are within range.  If you feel your thyroid isn't doing what it's supposed to be, find a new doctor.  A Naturopath or Integrative/Functional Doctor will look deeper into the root of your problem more than a medical one will.  They just will.  Dr. Sara Gottfried has lots of good information too.

7) Low mineral levels- pregnancy depletes 4 lbs of minerals PER BABY, so many of us moms are really low.  The books The Calcium Lie II and The Post-Natal Depletion Cure are both good resources to see how much of each mineral we need, and how to get more.  Minerals have taken the back seat to all the other supplements these days, but are now being seen as vital to all health imbalances.  In the post-natal book, he explains the symptoms that come with too high or too low levels of each major mineral in our bodies.  If our minerals are balanced, our symptoms will go away.  I like nettle/alfalfa/oatstraw infusions for my mineral dosages each day (cheapest option), or Concentrace drops, Real Salt or Bioplasma homeopathic cell salts.  Can get the herbs for the infusion at Natural Grocers (for those with one of those nearby on the West Coast/AZ). 

8) Emotional/Spiritual/Physical stressors (finances, health, etc.)/Grief not dealt with. I won't go into these one as I don't have a lot of resources for it.  But they're very real.  And they need to be addressed and dealt with just like physical symptoms, even if it happened decades ago.  And there's always hope and healing through Jesus Christ, as well as forgiveness and redemption.  There are many forms of counselling and avenues to help you if this has been your root cause of depression.

Medications should only be used on a short term basis WHILE the root cause is being investigated.  They are not helpful in the long run, as they do not solve the root problem, but just mask it.  If you end up with a heart attack or stroke in the future because your liver congestion was never addressed, that's a huge problem.  But nobody will tell you there is a correlation, when there really is.  When your heart can't get good, clean, healthy blood because your liver (filter) is clogged up, no amount of antidepressants will solve that problem.  Here's some herbs and supplements we've used with good results for mood as an alternative to medication.  Do not stop medications quickly though!  And find out what is compatible and what are not.  Some medications cannot be mixed with these herbs/supplements.

~NutriCalm  Lots of B vitamins and calming herbs for your nerves.  Makes you feel better right away.  Safe for pregnancy/nursing.
~Suma This is what I started with from Sonja and felt better right away.  Not safe for pregnancy or nursing though so I've had to find other things.
~Green Vibrance This was my next go-to and is still what I take each day.  It has digestive enzymes, liver support, adaptogens (adrenal support), thyroid support, probiotics and more in it.  Tastes best mixed in a bit of orange juice, but still is very "green".  You can even buy single dose packs just to try a few if you don't want a big jug.  
~5-HTP  This is going to be your cheapest supplement.  I've taken it to help with sleep, but it also helps calm your nerves throughout the day.  If your serotonin is low, this is the one you want.
~St. John's Wort- This is what Greg took for the longest time, although he took Nevaton (listed below) which has it in it.  Get a good quality one, as the cheaper ones don't work as well.
~SAM-e This is what my midwife recommends for post-partum depression.  Greg took this as well and had good results with it, but it is more expensive.  You want at least 400mg. for depression (it's also great for joint pain, so lower doses are available for that).
~Nevaton This is what our Naturopath had Greg on for a long time as well.  It works very well at keeping moods balanced.
~GABA This is great for calming and anxiety.  We haven't used it a lot, but occasionally and it works well.  It's an amino acid.
~True Hope vitamins.  This company was started back in the 90s when a father lost 2 of his children to suicide from Bipolar Disease.  They are a vitamin company based in Alberta, Canada but are also available in the U.S.  I've had several family members have profound results from using these vitamins.  They have counselors to help work with your doctor to reduce your meds so that you can only take the vitamins and get rid of the meds.  If you aren't on meds, they can help tailor your dose to fit your needs.   Awesome resource and amazing results.  We take these still as a multivitamin.  The vitamins are mostly Bs and amino acids and trace minerals but there are other products available too, depending on your symptoms.

Kelly Brogan M.D., Holistic Psychiatrist is my go-to for anything to do with depression.  She has a great website  full of information and lots of articles that are helpful.  Here's one of her articles:
3 Dietary Changes to Make Before Starting an Antidepressant

Most of all, I would encourage you to seek your own answers.  Don't be satisfied with a prescription for meds for the rest of your life or a diagnosis that your illness is "genetic".  That's just an excuse for not caring enough to find the true cause and a true solution.  Try all sorts of treatments until you find one that works.  Yes, it will likely cost you money out of pocket (you can claim any Naturopathic visits, treatments or supplements on your taxes though).  Yes, you'll find some things don't work at all.  But yes, you can be healed also.  Not just a Band-Aid fix, but healed!  Not too many medical doctors can offer you that.  

Recommended Books to Read:
A Mind of Your Own - Dr. Kelly Brogan (healing depression and getting off meds)
The Mood Cure -talks about amino acids, self tests and lots of good information
The Hormone Cure -all about female hormones
Stop the Thyroid Madness -all about the thyroid
Potatoes Not Prozac -alternatives to medications
Adrenal Fatigue-21st Century Stress Syndrome -all about adrenal fatigue
The Liver and Gall Bladder Miracle Cleanse -explains how the liver/gall bladder and heart are closely intertwined and how to improve their health
Physical Nutrition and Degeneration -how nutrition impacts a society for better or worse
Nourishing Traditions -getting back to eating like generations past for improved nutrition, health and happiness
Magnificent Magnesium- the benefits of getting enough magnesium.  All the things magnesium does in the body (there's over 300!)
The Magnesium Miracle- even more about magnesium- the miracle mineral
The Calcium Lie II- more on minerals
The Post-Natal Depletion Cure- how being pregnant with our precious babies drains our bodies of nutrients, causes health issues and how to replace them.  For some women 1 baby will totally deplete, with others it may be more babies.