Tribute to Uncle Cliff/Ain't it funny how a smell can bring back a memory?

It all started with my chapstick fetish that I have. Over the years I accumulated dozens of those little tubes, and then one day said, "this is ridiculous" and vowed to use them up before I bought one more. Mind you, this was very difficult to do as buying chapstick is one of my biggest vices (in the material sense). So, since we've moved to WA, I have not bought any, but continued to use up the ones in my stash (which was overflowing profusely). Last spring I realized that my stash was empty. Completely and honestly empty. And I was using Lipsmackers Amethyst Grape (my least favorite kind of the lot, so it got left until last). Now, being the frugal person that I am, I couldn't bear to pay full price to replenish my supply, so I headed down to my favorite liquidation store Prospector's, as I knew they'd have some of what I needed. Bingo- they did! So, I rifled through their stash (at $0.25 a piece, mostly) and found a handful of brand new tubes in reliable brands in reliable flavors. There's nothing quite like getting a gross kind, in my opinion.

So, over the next few months I began using them. One in the car, one in my purse. One on the nightstand, you get the picture. Then I happened to open one and got not quite what I was expecting...in a good way. I opened a ChapStick original (you know, the pink kind with the black label, the most boring yet reliable flavor in the world?!) and the smell just hit me. It took me right back to being a kid and riding in my Uncle Cliff's truck home from church with him and using his black chapstick (while checking out all the other cool things in a bachelor uncle's truck).

Uncle Cliff (Staudinger) was my Dad's oldest brother. He would turn 70 this year in April, but died at age 47 from esophageal cancer. He was the only sibling that never married, thus spoiled us nieces and nephews quite nicely. He was a farmer, and prior to that drove a car carrier for many years (he would be my boys hero if he still was around and did that for a living!) He lived 3 miles from us, and did our farming for us since my Dad had a business to run in those days. We loved riding in the tractor with him or playing in the grain of the grain truck while the bed was dumping out the grain as it was unloading. (Mom hated that we did it because barley has burrs that would stick to our clothes and wouldn't come out very well), but Uncle Cliff let us. He would always ask us, "so, what did you learn in school today?" to which we'd reply, "nothing" and he'd answer, "well, I don't see much sense in going if you don't learn anything!" We still had to go though!

He had 6 vehicles, all of which were licensed and he drove regularly. 3 cars and 3 trucks. At his house you could jump on the bed endlessly and twirl the glass chandelier (in the guest room) all up and then let it go so it spilled fancy light shapes all over the room and no one minded. We never had to wear seatbelts when we rode with him (it wasn't the law in Alberta back then, but Mom made us anyhow).

The day he was diagnosed with cancer, I remember all too well. We were eating supper when we got the phone call. We had spinach that night, which was hard enough to choke down on a good day, and then after that gut wrenching news, was impossible to get down. I was barely 14, having a rough year starting high school anyhow, and that didn't help the problem. He had surgery, but there was one area in his stomach that wouldn't heal up, so he remained in the hospital on TPN (total parenteral nutrition via IV) since he couldn't eat. He was in the hospital probably 5 months when he then went home to my Grandpa and Grandma's house for care. He still thought he'd get better, but by then the cancer had spread to his liver. He was amazingly optimistic, but lost alot of weight and in the end was very jaundiced. He never pitied himself for being sick, but instead looked on the positives namely 1) he was living in this world and a certain number of people get cancer, and he happened to be one of them. 2) he was single, so if he died, he was glad that he wouldn't be leaving a widow or fatherless children as any of his siblings would have been 3) he was a Christian and would spend eternity with his Savior.

The biggest guilt I have ever held in my life, happened the week he died. It was a huge burden, and it took many years before I even had the courage to mention it to anyone, to lighten the load of guilt. Our whole family was over at my grandparents for dinner (all the cousins, aunts and uncles, etc), so us kids were asked to stay outside since Cliff was so weak. Right before we were to go home for the day, I ran inside to use the bathroom. Cliff was sitting in a recliner and said "hi, Rachel" as I ran by. I didn't want to see him looking so sickly, so I kept running calling "hi" over my shoulder as I ran. I could tell he wanted me to stop, but I ran right back outside and we went home. On the way home, I started to feel bad for not stopping and giving him a hug or small amount of my time. I realized that even though he looked so sick, he was still the same person inside. I vowed that next time we saw him, I'd spend time with him, even though it was hard. That was Sunday, and he passed away on Tuesday. I never got that chance. It was probably 5 years before I told anybody about it, and became bitter not only because of my own ignorance, but because of my selfish notions at age 14 about death. Why did I have to lose him? (not even caring that my Dad lost his brother, or my grandparents lost their child) It was all about me. It took a long time to heal due to my teenage selfish thoughts. In nursing school we studied death and dying, and I learned alot and vowed that if I ever faced death again, I would be open and honest and not hold all those feelings and emotions inside. Little did I know I'd be faced with the death of my 2 cousins the very next year. Healing that time was much more smooth and healthy even though their deaths were unexpected and tragic.

I seem to be veering away from the topic, but that's where my thoughts have gone today. I am thankful for the time with my Uncle Cliff, and after he died, my Grandpa told me "you were his favorite niece". I took that as a great compliment, and later found out why. When my parents moved back to Alberta from the Northwest Territories, we moved in with Cliff until we found a place to live. I was about 18 months old, and he and I became best friends. He'd tease me and I'd laugh, I'd tease him back. It went like that my whole life and he always called me his "Wascally Wabbit" (Rascally Rabbit).

So there it is, all over a little tube of ChapStick Original that I found at Prospector's!

Sleep, Glorious Sleep

I've posted about sleep in the past with previous kids, and since I still remain baffled, I'm going to "vent" again. First of all, I have to say that baby #4 (Isaac) is overall a very *good* baby. I use that term loosely, because it doesn't mean that other babies are bad, per se, but that they just are harder to figure out and harder to please. He's overall predictable and keeps a pretty consistent routine.

Since I discovered babywearing 4 months into Elise's life, it became a world of difference in happy baby vs. fussy baby. My back felt way better, and my baby cried way less; so how can you complain when Mom and baby are both happy? She still didn't sleep better, but I could at least get something done while she fussed, or else she fussed less because Mom was holding her, even if she was tired. With Isaac, I started babywearing from the start. I used a wrap, then have been gradually working towards a maitei and Ergo as he's gotten older. He sleeps wonderfully in them, right next to Mom. If he starts to wake up, then I just jiggle him up and down and he drifts back off (usually 1 hour in the morning, 1-2 hours in the afternoon). This created a very happy baby, because he got proper naps. The problem is now starting where he's 4 months old and getting very heavy, even though the carriers are awesome. And...I'd like to get a break when he naps (to give my other kids some attention mostly, but also occasionally to lay down and rest). So, I've began trying to train him to sleep on his own, which is going well....umm...we'll see in time.

What I'm figuring is wrong is that he goes through one sleep cycle, slightly rouses, and then wakes up when he's not ready to get up yet. (after 20 min or so) Then 10 minutes later he starts fussing because he's still tired. But not tired enough to go back to sleep yet because of his previous "pikku nukkua" (my dad's Finn words for "little sleep"). When he's in the carrier, my jiggling him gets him through that stage back into deep sleep again. So, I'm trying to teach him to do that on his own, and am not sure how exactly that is done!

According to "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley (which, by the way, is my best recommendation for sleep books) she says that is likely what is happening, and keeping them asleep is the key. She claims about 1 week of doing this every nap should do the trick. So, I have to sit by him as he sleeps and then when he starts to rouse, quickly get him back to sleep. Today I've done that, and he slept 1 1/2 hours the first time and is now sleeping going on 40 minutes (yay!) The trouble has been figuring out how to get him back to sleep, as he doesn't take a pacifier very well, and nursing him creates burps that wake him up in a few minutes too. Today I just jiggled him until he settled again (about 5 minutes) and that seemed to work.

So, I'm hoping we're on the right track. I think my main frustration is not knowing how long to try something before putting the kibosh on it and trying something new. Usually I just go around in circles and never get anywhere but then the baby gets bigger and the problem finally solves itself. But, that would mean another 8 months of this until he's 1, and I'd really like to not go there if I don't have to!

Anyhow, he's awake and he's pleasant, so I'll close.

BTW, the books I've read are:
-The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley (recommend)
-Nighttime Parenting by Dr. Sears (recommend)
-The Happiest Baby on the Block by Dr. Harvey Karp (recommend)
-Sleeping Through the Night by Jodi Mindell (various cry it out methods, don't recommend)
-The Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg (can't remember it being helpful at all)
-On Becoming Babywise by Gary Ezzo (tried it, but couldn't make it work for us with #1 & #3 kid)

Kid sayings

I try to remember the cute stuff the kids say to write down, but it gets forgotten so quickly. Here's a few:

James was telling me how God sees us everywhere, in all that we do. He said, "Like when we're playing with Knapford Station, God says, "hey, there's James playing at Knapford Station."

At bedtime we were talking about how God made each of us special. I asked the kids to tell me what God had made special about each of them (thinking hair color, eye color). James says, "well, He gave me blood...and bones...and, oh yeah, meat!" (muscles)

Elise's Christmas medleys: "Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way; up above the world so high, like a diamond in the sky; and Jill came tumbling after."

"Dashing through the snow, in a one horse open sleigh; come on, let's go, Little Einstein's."

(this is from a few months ago when Grandma was here, but I still laugh about it) We were trying to think of something fun to do, so I suggested we go on a carousel ride. James immediately: "but what if we have to go to the bathroom and they won't stop it?"

Elise said "Christram" for Christmas all season. (Christram lights, Christram tree) She also called Joseph "Jofef and Mawy". Her other words that are her own pronunciation: wanting to eat a "yandwich" and go for a ride in"the Hentra" (the Sentra, our car)

Christmas Wishing

Two years ago, we happened to be in Target doing some Christmas shopping when we came across a guy dressed in a red coat (80's era polyester, I might add) with a hand crocheted Santa hat. He did have a long white beard, but just regular jeans and work boots on the bottom half. As we met in the aisle, he asked James (then 2 1/2) "have you been good?" James nodded in fear and astonishment and we kept on our way. Later that day at home when Daddy got home from work, the boys told him that they had seen Santa in Target and "he was buying our Christmas presents". From that day forth, that is the real Santa. We've seen hundreds of other Santa's around- in the mall, on advertising, in books and on movies, but somehow my kids know they're all just men dressed up like Santa. That guy in Target though, he was the real deal. Even today, 2 years later, James said, "Santa buys our toys at Target, remember when we saw him there." Luke adds, "because if he made them they'd be out of wood, but they are metal trains, so he must get them from Target."

I came in on them last night as they were talking in their room at bedtime. I asked them what the topic was, and they said, "we're just telling about what we want for Christmas." I asked if they'd share with me what they wanted. They thought of a few things, and then I said, "what if that isn't what you get?" ('cause you know Moms know this kind of thing) And Luke said, "well, we just might get it, you never know!" So this morning, they were making up these lists, to put in their stockings to give Santa some idea of what they want.

James'

0 (means start here)
Mavis the train
Hot Wheels
A Candy Cane
x (means stop here)





Luke's

I want
A toy gun
A candy cane
A hot wheels
A pop gun
I want
a shield & sword
(he drew them as he didn't know how to spell them)







I love their enthusiasm about Christmas. They are counting down the days, and feeling the presents that are already under the tree to try to figure out what's in them. James says, "I just know they are going to be fun!" My Aunt B gave us our presents when we saw her the other day, and when the boys discovered theirs and the conversation went something like this:
James: Mom, what does this spell?
Me: T-i-g-g-e-r? You know that one.
James: Tigger...this present says it's from Tigger.
Runs to his room and wakes up Luke who is still sleeping.
James: Luke, I got a present from Tigger. You know, the Tigger from 'Pooh'.
Luke: Huh, a present from who?
James: Yes, a present from Tigger. Can you believe he gave me a present?
Luke: No, I'll come and look.
They go look together confirm the findings and also find that Elise has one from Frosty the Snowman, and Luke has one from Buddy Squirrel. Hmm. How does that work out?

My Grandma Kurtti started that tradition when she wrapped gifts (and who knows, maybe her mom did it too) to her kids that they were always from random characters. My Mom and B carry on that tradition (and perhaps the other siblings too, I don't know), and every year there are all kinds of gifts from all kinds of characters under the tree. But there is always a gift from Buddy Squirrel, and no one ever has figured out who he is!

Christmas Letter 2011

Greetings this Christmas season;

Well, it looks like fall is winding down and winter is well on it's way. That's fine by me, although November and December tend to be rather windy in these parts, which makes going outside rather unpleasant. The loggers continue to log further up our hill, so there are log trucks passing by many times a day, which makes going for a walk not doable anyhow. I totally support sustainable logging, but when it interferes with my sleep or my walks, then I'm not so happy about it! They start going by at 3:30am some mornings and end at sundown. Talk about a full days work!!

Our biggest news is the birth of our baby Isaac William, on September 13. He was born at home (very quickly), so the midwife did not even make it in time. Greg ended up delivering him, and all worked out amazingly well. Isaac is doing really well. He is a very predictable baby, which gives me peace of mind, because I usually can find out why he's fussing and I also know what to do about it.

Luke is coming along with his homeschooling. He journals each day, works on spelling, phonics, reading, and math for lessons, and then reads history/geography/science books on his own for quiet time which he learns a wealth of information about different things. I like being able to see what his interests are and then find the answers for those subjects, rather than sticking to things he isn't interested in just because it's in the curriculum.

James is doing great these days too. He does a 'lesson' each day (coloring in a preschool learning book usually) and then helps me with chores while Luke finishes his schoolwork. He's a enthusiastic helper, but also gets distracted very easily and forgets what he's doing. He’s also full of funny sayings, so keeps us laughing most of the time. Yesterday he was asking why King Parrot killed all the babies during Baby Jesus' time. (Herod)

Elise is my best helper these days, but her intentions far outweigh her capabilities. She would love to wash all my dishes, but instead splashes water over the whole kitchen without getting any dishes clean.She loves to pester her brothers (and they love to return the favor!)

As for Greg and I, we're doing fine. Greg started a new job in February which has been a real blessing. It has less stress, more days off and is closer to home. We are very thankful for that. Before he started, we were able to take a trip to CA, AZ and NV with the family and enjoy some sunshine! Now we’re trying to get a few fall projects done (me- Christmas gifts for our annual Canadian cousins gathering, and he- cleaning gutters, filling muddy areas with gravel, hauling wood and *fun* stuff like that). He's also working on some Christmas gifts with his newest hobby of which I can't tell! Isaac sleeps fairly well at night, so we actually function well most of the time. Our family did get out clam digging a few weeks ago (at night) and that was pretty fun. I didn't dig, but just enjoyed watching the lanterns bob around on the beach. We hope to go again here soon.

Wishing you many blessings now as we celebrate the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ!

Greg, Rachel and ours

Thankful for...

Lately I feel like I'm getting back to normal after the new baby stuff of the past few months. We've settled into somewhat of a routine, and life is good. As it is Thanksgiving tomorrow, I've been thinking of the many blessings that I've been given, and how God is truly watching over us and guarding and guiding us each day. My dear husband and beautiful children are most appreciated, as well as extended family and friends. This new little baby Isaac is truly a miracle, and I am so amazed at the birth of each baby, how perfect they are, how much they teach us about ourselves (not always such fun lessons, but important, none-the-less), how they truly make us into less selfish, more Christ-like people if we're willing to let them teach us instead of forcing them to abide by our mindsets and preconceived standards. Anyhow, for all the blessings I've been given, there are times that I miss the past. I do miss a few certain things every now and then, and was just thinking about them lately as one of my old friends brought up some memories that ignited more memories of "single days".

Then tonight Greg suggested watching a movie, and my thoughts went to "I wonder when the last kid will get to sleep so we can actually enjoy the movie" and "I'd love a bowl of ice cream while watching but I know eating it that late will give me a sore throat" (as I'm fighting a cold) and "is it worth staying up with, when I know I'll be awakened by one of four little persons much earlier than I want to be?" Well, turns out here I am writing on my blog while baby is asleep on my lap (tried putting him down at least 4 times, all of which he awoke crying) and my husband is asleep on the couch and I doubt (again!) any movies will be watched.

So, the things I miss about "single" days:
-Eating whatever, whenever, wherever and being young enough and healthy enough for it not to make much difference (now I'm on a nursing mother diet, recently on a pregnancy diet, usually a no-coffee-after-noon-or-I-won't-sleep diet)
-Staying up late meant sleeping in as late as I pleased. And if I couldn't sleep, I was guaranteed a nap, as long as I wasn't working at nap time
-My body was my own. I could go to the bathroom uninterrupted, sit and relax without someone nursing, jumping on me, pulling my hair or necklace
-Waking up to an alarm clock is not fun, but funner than a crying baby or crying toddler who's wet the bed
-The camaraderie of good friends. I miss just laughing and talking with my "old" friends for hours and hours. I have a very best friend in my husband, but our hanging out time together is pretty minimal these days and usually is quite distracted when we are together. (or we're too tired to come up with something to say)
-Going for a "quick trip" into a store. I now unbuckle and rebuckle numerous kids, have numerous bags and purses and diaper bags at all times. 'Cause it really sucks to be unprepared when you've got 4 little ones following you around. (if you forget something in the car)
-Swimming laps, and going to the gym and working out. I miss exercise, the kind where you get your heart rate up, and actually burn a few calories. It just doesn't work so well in the wet rainy windy November here when it's dark when my husband leaves for work and also when he gets home. We try to go for walks each day, but lately that hasn't even happened due to log trucks and blustery days. It just makes everything so sluggish when I can't get some exercise.
-When work was done for the day, you went home and it was done. Now it's never done.
-Going on road trips whenever I pleased

There are many things I don't miss though, and it wouldn't do justice not to mention them:
-Working on someone else's schedule by their rules. I now am my own boss in many ways (although I also now have 5 bosses in other ways)
-Having to take care of car repairs/maintenance
-Being alone and fearing that I would be the rest of my life
-Profanity/unpleasant people in the workplace
-Uncouth roommates at times
-Living in rentals (boring white walls, rowdy neighbors, many flights of stairs, tacky decor)

Now, for a few things I am thankful to God for:
(note that it's 11:30 and my brain is getting pretty tired)
-An adopted family that always takes us in for Thanksgiving
-Precious husband and children that love me and forgive me unconditionally
-A Savior that loves me and forgives me unconditionally
-A warm, cozy, family friendly, smallish, red and white house
-Wood stove with a glass front so we can watch the fire and firewood for it
-Money for groceries and a car that gets us to the store to get them (that's Luke's but I'll ditto it)
-An enjoyable view out the windows where I look each day
-A minivan that makes parenting so much more enjoyable!
-Health and energy to do my job each day
-Coffee with peppermint mocha creamer with Trader Joe's dark chocolate
-My Laz-Z-Boy for rocking kids for hours on end some days
-Family and Friends
-A good job for my husband with 3 day weekends
-Supportive loving parents (and grandparents)
-The ability to stay at home and raise my children in a Godly environment
And on and on....

Happy Thanksgiving!!

The Case of the Missing Keys

So...I have this bad habit. One that I've had for many years, and although it irritates my husband greatly, it hasn't been enough of a problem that I have put forth the effort to change it. (regretfully)

My habit is that I leave keys in the doorknob after I unlock the door when we get home from somewhere. This is done out of sheer laziness, as I usually keep them in my purse or on a hook by the door, and I'm just to lazy to do it right away when I get home. So, they hang in the door until the kids are unloaded, baby fed, groceries brought in, etc. This usually isn't a problem, because we have a screen door on the outside, and the inner door is left open until I remove the keys and shut it. Well, the other day it became a problem. I was feeding baby, so I asked Elise get my keys and shut the door (since it's Novemberrrr and getting pretty cold out there!) She shut the door but left the keys in it. Greg came home later and was hauling wood and as he opened the front door, he found my keys much to his dismay (I had forgotten to get them, since the door had been shut). He then proceeded to "put them somewhere" and they haven't been seen since. I was feeding baby once again, and saw the whole ordeal, and will confirm that I saw him set them down somewhere in the entry way, but they are gone. We've turned the house upside down and been on the lookout for 4 days now, and still no keys.

I would like to say I hope I have learned my lesson. You'd think I would have learned it once before, since one time back when I was single I did a similar thing and as the keys were swinging in the lock, they caught on the handle of the screen door, making it impossible to open either door. I had to painstakingly remove the window from the screen door to get them out. I obviously didn't learn then. Now hopefully I'm a bit wiser.

The other bad habit (that I really am working on) that irritates my husband is that I don't screw lids on my juice/pop bottles fully while I'm drinking them. I mean, why screw it all the way back on when you're going to take a sip in another minute? Well, it so happens that many a bottle has tipped over or fallen out of the cup holder and leaked in the car (usually due to him not remembering my habit, or our unruly kids doing some stunt), so I am really trying to remedy that one.

Novemberrrr...

These pictures are from our recent fall photo shoot at the nearby lake. I usually have my aunt do the kids pictures every fall, but she took off to Kenya yesterday, so I decided to try them myself. My first location didn't work as the weather took a turn for the worse and then James fell out of the tree I was going to take a picture of him in. (and Isaac was screaming his head off, and Elise had a fever/runny nose) So, we did get one good family shot there, and then canceled that plan and then just took them at home later that evening. They turned out well, except I plan to redo Elise's, just because she has a pretty sick look to her in all of hers.

Birth Options and Opinions

I've wanted to write up my summary of our change in birth options this time around. I did a copious amount of research (and praying) prior to making the home birth decision, and want to share what I learned about our own situation, but also how it relates to birth in general.

My first 3 kids were hospital births, the first 2 with epidurals/induction/episiotomy/continual fetal monitoring, etc. For #3 we had a doula with us in hopes (and success) of avoiding an epidural to also avoid an IV, as well as other interventions that may have causes boy #2's jaundice => allergies (as per a snippet of information I had read somewhere). So, after a successful 'real' birth, (thanks to the doula and Bradley method of childbirth) I had the confidence that we could have a home birth without pain meds (my biggest fear for all my births), since we had done so already.

The only drawback was that my dear husband wasn't on board. So, back to my hospital midwife I went. At the first checkup, we brought the kids so that they could hear the baby's heartbeat. The midwife (who I love) asked the kids if they wanted to see their new baby. Of course they answered 'yes' and so she brought in the portable ultrasound machine and proceeded to find baby and take a few pictures of him/her. Less than 5 min was spent with the machine, we finished the appointment and out the door we go. Well, later that week we get a bill in the mail for $280 for that ultrasound. Ouch. Didn't even think of that when we gave our okay to it. This gave G the motivation to explore other options. He had just started a new job and there was a guy there whose wife had had all their babies at home, and they were expecting baby #5 at present. He and G got to talking, and he got a 'guys perspective' about the whole situation and soon G came home with the midwife's number. I prayed about this constantly, and then talked to the midwife myself and made an appointment, was still feeling pretty unsure and anxious about exploring a new avenue.

After our first appointment though, the midwife (Laura) had calmed all my fears and answered all my questions. She is about as experienced as they come (delivered 3500+ babies) and has never lost one. She's done many midwifery mission trips in 3rd world countries, and explained the licensing standards in the state of WA (of which I was confused prior). She is a Christian lady, and we felt like our prayers had been answered. She doesn't do the 'fasting glucose', but instead just tells you to eat before your appointment and she does a finger stick glucose when you get there. She has a little ultrasound machine and is able to check for fetal position, sex of baby, amount of amniotic fluid, cord length and placental position. Her pricing includes everything except the lab fee (for group B strep) and a birth kit (which you order yourself online to have at home when baby comes). Her mantra is "healthy moms have healthy babies", and if for some reason a mom ends up being high risk, then she doesn't even consider taking them on. That is what an OB/gyn is for, and she'll refer them as necessary.

So, what is considered high risk? High blood pressure, diabetes, multiple births, breech/transverse position, placenta previa. Not: first time moms, laboring too long/lack of dilation. (the state of WA has guidelines on what midwives can deliver and can't). The more information beforehand, the less chance of surprises at delivery. Good thorough prenatal care is key. My next question was: Why do you send moms to the hospital then? Answer: preterm labor (before 37 weeks), the baby flips to breech between last checkup and delivery, and pain control due to exhaustion. Hmm, none of those sound emergent. (she has a 4% hospital transfer rate, and the majority fall into the preterm labor category and are at 36 1/2 weeks) The next fear I had was hemorrhage. Why do women bleed (sometimes to death, as we hear of horror stories)? The number one reason is that the Dr/midwife/caregivers don't wait for the placenta to detach itself and they pull on the cord causing bleeding. Or, bits of the placenta are retained and this causes bleeding (quite rare, but requires a D&C usually).

Fetal distress (a common cause of C-section these days) is almost always remedied by change in moms position at home, and by not inducing the mom in the first place. Mom's are rarely told the hazards of induction (I know I wasn't), but rather the 'safety of the baby' is so highly stressed that interventions are started before they're even necessary.

Another question I had, which I read the answer to in "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth" by Ina May Gaskin was: Why did women die in childbirth so often 100 years ago (as we hear so much about, which led to hospital births becoming the norm)? The answer to this is many fold, but the main reasons are 1) when the settlers came to America, the majority were young men and women. Skilled midwives stayed in the old country, so many deaths were caused by not having skilled help at deliveries. 2) many women had rickets due to vitamin D deficiency which caused them to have a deformed pelvis which could not properly birth babies. Neither of these reasons are present today that we should concern ourselves with.

More to come in part 2....

Our new precious bundle, Isaac William

9-13-2011 birth story written by Greg (aka the hero of the day~)

approx. 2:00am

Rachel wakes me up to say that she has been having mild contractions since 12:01am. I figure if they’re only “mild” then there isn’t any reason for me to be awake. I roll over hoping for a little bit more sleep before the action starts. That feeling only gets to live for about 20 seconds. I get up and help Rachel through the next contraction. They surely don’t seem too severe at this point. At 2:17 we call the midwife to let her know what is happening. Rachel tells her that it doesn’t seem that she is into active labor yet. The midwife asks what time we feel the baby may come, how far along do we feel we are. Rachel is thinking that we shouldn’t expect a baby before 8 or 9 that morning. With that, the midwife recommends that we call her when things seem to be proceeding to second stage labor. So we go along as we had been. Contractions are lasting less than a minute and spaced between 5-7 minutes apart.

At about 3:45 the contractions go from moderate to the light side of severe. Spacing is still about 5 minutes apart, but the severity prompts us to call the midwife at 4:00. Rachel desires that she comes to help with the pain. We still don’t think that there is a way the baby would come before 8 or 9 o’clock. The midwife recommends Rachel get into the bathtub as the water would take the edge off the contractions. At about 4:15 Rachel gets into the bathtub. The first contraction in the tub is quite severe. I believe it was now that we took the time to say a prayer asking for God’s protection over all involved. Two more contractions and on the third she jumps and exclaims, “I feel like pushing!!” At which I reply, “No, no, nooo.” She tells me to get our midwife’s cell phone number dialed into the cordless phone, so in case we need it all we’ll have to do is hit redial. I decide we better just call her cell phone to see how close she is. While I’m dialing the number Rachel hits another contraction with the urge to push. “Sweetie,” she says. “The baby is here!”

I detect a sense of urgency in her voice. Not panic, but extreme urgency.

The midwife answers her cell phone the same time I see that the baby is crowning. I ask her where she is because the baby is being born.

I detect a sense of panic in my voice. Not urgency, but extreme panic.

She’s still 30 minutes away. One push and the head is out. One more push and “Whoosh”, there he is. Our baby boy. I pick him up out of the water, unwrap the cord from around his neck and put him on Rachel’s chest. The midwife tells me not to worry. The baby is crying and by my account, there is no sign of distress. She comments on how fast this baby came. Even though she is the one with all the experience, we were actually able to figure that out on our own. The whole sequence had a dreamlike quality. I was literally “buzzing” from head to toe. I certainly needed to sit down and take a deep breath. It was such a blessing to witness that miracle first hand. Isaac William had been born at 4:30. If this would have been a planned hospital birth, we would never have made it in time. The first feeling we had that would have gotten us going to the hospital was the contraction with the desire to push. This would have put us about three miles down the road when the baby came, if we made it that far.

All in all, I wouldn’t want to go through it again. Although having been through it once, I might have a cooler head if the situation repeated itself. God answered our prayer and like I said before, the whole experience was a true blessing.

Isaac William Somero

8 lb 8 oz

22 inches long

Mommy's version: Since all my other labors were much longer, I was totally taken aback by the speed of this one (21 hours (induced after 18), 16 and 10 hours respectively). Although the pain level in this one was incredibly worse, I figured it was because it was the middle of the night and I was just "being a wimp" because of not much sleep/energy. The contractions confused me too, as I was still getting 5-7 minute breaks between them all, and they only lasted 30-45 sec. I was waiting for the increments to get closer together or the contraction lengths to increase, which never happened until about 5 minutes before he was born. The whole day before baby was born though, I felt weird (unexplainably) and figured our time was getting close. I rested alot and went for a few walks, hoping to move things along. When I went to bed, I just prayed for a good night's rest before I went into labor, as starting out tired is not very fun (been there with baby #1). But, other things were in order and I thank God that He orchestrated things like he did, because I don't know how I would have made it very much longer with the intensity of the contractions. When baby was born, I was amazed at the perfect working of a woman. He was born so smoothly, and without my interference much at all. I just let my body do what it was supposed to be doing, and I think that is what made things run so smoothly. As our midwife reminded me, "a birth will not be pain-free, but it can go smooth". A major change of view from the hospital scene. I wouldn't have known it could go like it did, but am still in awe at the workings of a woman's body without the interference of IV's, type and screens, epidurals, fetal monitors, uncomfortable hard beds, bedpans, episiotomies and all those other things that us women are subject to while laboring in the hospital. I won't recommend a home birth for everyone, but feel a woman should do her research and weigh the options in their own life. Many complications are caused by (unnecessary) interventions, and if a woman was left to herself (and a competent caregiver) in a relaxed, comfortable environment, it is an amazing process that God has perfected and how He made our bodies so perfect to bring children into this world.

John 16:21
A woman when she is in travail hath sorrow, because her hour is come: but as soon as she is delivered of the child, she remembereth no more the anguish, for joy that a man is born into the world.

Closing in on September

Well, we are now into September, and I'm pretty much ready to give up my pregnancy shoes for some Mom-of-4 shoes. When I said it to a friend the other day, it sounded weird, but I have to admit that with each child born, it's taken a few months to get used to the idea. With Elise it was even longer, as I'd been the mom of just boys for 4 years, and then had to get used to having a girl in the mix. Now it's going to be getting used to juggling even more. I'm looking forward to the challenge, and also thankful my oldest is 6 rather than 4 (which he was when we had our last baby), and will be a great help to me. I'm also VERY thankful we're not sending him off to school, as my fragile nerves likely couldn't handle the adjustment, as you likely read from my previous post about just letting him into the locker room by himself.

Luke is anxious to keep learning, so I know it's going to be a challenge to keep him challenged for these first few months with a new baby as well as structuring our home school. He's such an avid learner (but doesn't like to stick with anything too long), so therein the challenge lies. Keeping him busy and active while taking care of a (likely) fussy baby. I'm sure I can come up with lots of chores to keep him busy, I do know that!

James is right on his footsteps, and likes to guess at words and sound them out. I'm hoping that he'll be easier to teach, since he'll have such a base from listening to all Luke has heard from me. I think that is one of the greatest blessings of homeschool, is that the older kids can teach the younger. Just today at breakfast Luke was teaching James what camouflage is. James knows what the fabric looks like, but Luke was explaining that anything can be camouflage when it blends in and you can't see everything there. (he put a yellow fork put on a yellow plate to be used for an example) I love how they work together and seek out answers to their questions. But...trust me, I get plenty of questions myself from the 3 of them. Luke usually asks knowledge based ones, James "what if _____?" and quizzes us about all these impossible feats, and Elise likes to ask, "what _____ mean?" (she picks some word she's heard and then never even listens to the answer because her little mind is off on some new topic already)

Elise also likes to talk, talk, talk (not so good at the listening end of things!) I do have a new appreciation for moms of girls, because I never knew they could talk so much. All day, every day, every where about everything. And she's only 2 1/2! Does it get better? Or worse as the years go by?

So, the countdown is on until our new baby decides to show up. I haven't been ready for the changes up until last weekend. It's definitely a emotional, spiritual and physical surrendering to get to that place where you're ready for labor and baby and all, but I'm there now. Praying for strength and patience until the big day (and especially on the big day) as there always seems to be so many unknowns in the waiting game. My Mom is showing up this week, so that'll be nice to have her here for emotional support and also to visit with if we do have some days to wait until baby's birth. Sometimes the days before the birth are more draining than those after just due to the discomfort and anticipation. Feeling good overall, but ready to give up the big kicking belly. Very ready!!

Been rereading my birthing books though, and hopefully they'll work as well as last time. I wish I'd known about them with kid #1 and #2, but that's water under the bridge. They are "Husband Coached Childbirth" by Dr. Robert Bradley and "Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way" by Susan McCutcheon. They are very different from the Lamaze classes offered at the hospital (which I had assumed they were similar before I knew much), and work amazingly better. The relaxation techniques and exercises as well as emotional signposts of labor progress are priceless for a birthing mother or husband (who likely isn't sure what his role is/should be, but this book totally guides step by step). We haven't taken the classes, but likely for first-time parents, that would be very beneficial. http://www.bradleybirth.com/

Summer update

I've been meaning to write for quite some time, but unfortunately something always takes priority. Today Greg has the kids outside doing projects with him and I have completed my tasks for the day. Well, that doesn't mean that I'm all caught up. It means that my endurance has reached it's maximum, and the baby is letting me know (by gravity and by kicking) that he/she has had enough moving around and being busy. So, it's time for the Lazyboy and laptop to wait while supper cooks.

(Playing 'wash the animals at the zoo' on one rare warm-enough-to-swim days. A hot shower followed as one little girl claimed "I'm fweeding cowd")

This summer has brought much mixed emotion for me. I'd like to blame hormones, which I know are responsible in many ways, but also will blame a lack of sleep which seems to trail me throughout these parenting years. I had hoped to "get alot done" this summer, as well as enjoy some sunshine before the dreary wet days fold in on us again, but seem to fail at that each day. Today it was actually sunny in the morning (when I have a bit of energy), so I did mow a bit of knee deep lawn and washed our truck, which felt really good. We have a ton of projects to tackle, but with my huge-ness and cumbersome nature these days, I have to leave most of them for my dear husband who is much more limited for time. Summer also brings vacations (usually) and so I'm kind of down that we can't go on one when I hear of others traveling here and there. Driving is extremely uncomfortable for me, so a stay-cation would be our only option, and we haven't been able to make that happen yet, and time is running short.

















The one fun thing I did want to do, and did do so brought me more grief than I had anticipated. I wanted to camp in the yard with the kids, so we went ahead and set up the tent on the deck. They've gotten many hours of playing on it, but then we slept out there one night and the 2 little kiddos both ended up with nasty coughs that are still lingering (and keeping me up with them every night) 3 weeks later. Makes me wonder if it was worth it, even though we enjoyed it. I was able to share camping stories with them and have lots of question/answer time with them while we were waiting for the sun to settle down and go to sleep which is priceless.

















We did get our family room painted this weekend too, which has been waiting for about 5 years. We spend most of our time there in the winter as that is where our woodstove is, and the paint has been rather dark. I was given 5 gallons of white paint, which I had hoped to tint, but then when I went to do so, found out that it had already been tinted a shade of white that would make tinting it muddy looking. So, Greg ended up painting the white on the walls, and it looks great and much brighter.


















We also got our 6 year old riding a 2 wheeled bike and got him through a session of swimming lessons which is exciting and challenging for him. It's fun to see him advancing, but also a bit hard on my already-fragile-nerves to let him go off in the men's changing room by himself and in the deep end of the pool (with lifejacket of course) without my protective-ness getting in the way. Hopefully he can keep practicing these skills, as I would like to see him keep getting braver and bolder.





Playing Doctor in the tent





Supper is about ready, so I should close for now. Taking it one day at a time (sometimes one hour), keeping up with the vitamins and rest (not sleep necessarily, but at least resting frequently) and concluding each day that growing a baby is one of the hardest jobs out there! (especially the older I get and with each successive baby).













(Our shed with new deck and windows thanks to my father-in-law and hubby. Now I just have to finish painting it up.)

Baby Thoughts

Since we’re expecting #4 soon here, I’ve been reevaluating what we need and don’t need. All our babies have been super fussy (colic/food allergies/eczema/excessive crying) for the first year of life so our ‘needs’ may be different from others. I thought I'd share my favorites, and then those we've either done without, or had and then gotten rid of for some reason or another.

Needs:

-swing (we love Fisher Price’s cradle swing, as it goes side to side. All 3 (5 now) kids loved that motion but not the front to back motion of other swings). No worries about addiction- they get bored with it as they grow older.  Ours use it for about 6 months and it has been a lifesaver for our fussy babies.
-stroller (umbrella works for most needs (unless you're tall, then they're a pain), but I like a bigger one for all day treks to the zoo, etc),
-bassinet (got for $4 at Goodwill and is still going strong) we have it at our bedside for sleeping in part of the night and the rest we co-sleep,
-cloth diapers (bought used off craigslist almost new), I only use them at home in the day, so a box lasts about 3 months as opposed to 1 box/month with disposables.  Save about $200-300/year.
-mini-rocker (like a bouncy chair but I take baby all over the house with me in it) (that's the baby in the chair, not me!),
-babywearing carrier that you can nurse in (Moby type wrap (newborn), maitei (4-12 mon.) and Ergo(bigger babies)),
-boppy type pillow (made myself for under $5), I have tried other brands/ones, but my homemade one works the best.
-nursing cover (made myself for free for my super wiggly nursers),
-high chair that clamps to table (even easier to clean than the chair mounted type, and little babies love it once they can sit up, because they’re involved with meal time even if they aren't eating yet,
-baby car mirror (one of our babies heads flopped forward and he was too little to pick it back up at 3 weeks old and he was all blue when I looked back in the mirror. I hate to think what would have happened if I didn’t have it and was able to stop the car and readjust him immediately)
-reusable nursing pads (yep, lots and lots of them)
-zip up sleepers (why waste your time with dozens of snaps?)
-gripe water (for fussy babies)

Don’t need:
-double stroller (bought 2 kinds used and sold them too as they were too bulky to steer, plus they were both front heavy with the toddler in front. I do have a double jogger that I use for walks at home, but never take it anywhere as it has a stationary front wheel which makes turning it almost impossible, bought cheap at garage sale),
-johnny jump-up (don’t have a good place in my house for one and worry about back compression with them),
-baby tub (we just shower them with one of us as soon as their umbilical cord falls off. Put a washcloth around them so they aren’t so slippery),
-baby soaps (so many have yucky ingredients, and they don’t need all the extras anyhow),
-hiking backpack (good intentions, just never got used),
-limited clothing (one change for each day of the week, more for new babies, get rid of the rest)

I've also read "The Happiest Baby on the Block" since it was recommended by my sister and sister-in-law who both just had babies this spring. I keep praying and hoping this baby will be 'happier' than the last 3, although am not getting my hopes up. This book recommends the 5-S's (swaddling, swinging, side/stomach, shh-ing, and sucking) so I'm eager to try if these will help. He also explains how they need to be done (precise!), so we'll see. I've read A LOT of books with very little success, but am still trying to be an optimist! Our babies did love swinging (in the swing), but I always felt guilty having them in there endlessly. This book (along with my husband) both state that you can't keep them in there too much if it keeps them happy. Going to try more of that to save my sanity when my arms/head/back/neck are exhausted from carrying them. He says in the book that they'll outgrow it when they're ready, but some babies just need that swinging motion a lot more than others. For the price of a few extra packs of batteries, I'm willing to try it. (later note: LOVE this book.  Works!  Better than any other way, for sure!)

We're also trying different birth options this time, which I'll explain after the fact since I'm not sure how it'll all play out at this time. Prayerfully doing what we feel is best, and praying for wisdom and guidance from above, above all else!

Well, nighty night. I'll try to add more later, if I think of stuff or welcome your ideas too!