In the days and weeks leading up to Levi's birth, I prayed that God would take away my fears, my doubts and give me His peace about the labor and delivery. With each successive baby, I tend to be less confident in the whole birth process, probably due to overall weakness in body and mind from busy life in general. Although I "know" all the information, statistics, probable outcomes and all of that, the real and imagined fears still seem to cripple me at times. My Mom was able to come and stay with us for a few weeks and that helped immensely in being able to distract me by just being present and visiting about other things as we counted down.
Labor did finally start at 1:30am on Monday, May 2, at 5 days overdue. I was awakened by a contraction at the same time a little 2 year old came into our room needing her mama. After taking care of her, I went back to bed and proceeded to have contractions every 15 minutes for the rest of the night, so sleep was light and fitful at best. In the early morning, I told Greg about it so he stayed home from work as it looked like this was going to be the big day. He made breakfast for everyone, and then I walked around outside, trying to get contractions going stronger/faster/better. But, every time I was up, the contractions would stop instead. After a couple hours of this, I decided to call our midwife Laura to see what she recommended for getting things going further. She said that things were sounding like they were getting started, but instead of walking, she wanted me to rest. She said sometimes the uterus gets irritable and has a hard time kicking into gear (after many children), so letting it rest and do it's own thing was best. So, I rested all day with the contractions continuing every 15 minutes throughout. By 7 that evening, it was getting old. Not stopping but not progressing. I called Laura again to see what I should do. She now told me that all these contractions were "false labor" (or pre-labor or prodromal labor as it's also called) since they stopped whenever I got up. I lost it and started crying. All this for nothing? Another day/week of this (quite common)? I cried and cried. And then took a bath and went to bed at about 9. When I laid down again, the contractions started back up so I slept a bit here and there.
At 12:30 am, I was sharply awakened by a super long, super strong contraction. And then nothing. I got up and walked around the house for a bit, but no more contractions. I had a snack, sat on my birthing ball, rocked in the rocking chair and still nothing. I prayed that if there were any emotional, spiritual or physical barriers holding up the labor, that they would be revealed and dealt with (a common cause of labor to stall is a lack of surrendering in these three areas, according to Laura). At 1:30 am, I went back to bed. Soon after, I started having contractions again (no surprise here, been there, done that- a dozen times today!). But, this time they were 5 minutes apart. I counted 5 contractions, each 5 minutes apart so I woke up Greg and told him I'd get up and see if they continued when I was up. I had 2 more once I got up, and then decided to call Laura and have her come. After I got off the phone with her, I had one more and then in that instant, things changed. The baby was coming and was coming now! I remembered that with Celeste, Laura had told me that when your legs start to quiver, that's a sign of transition. My legs were quivering and I told Greg (politely but firmly) to get the bath running, as this baby was coming now. I was able to walk to the bathroom and get in the tub, but barely.
After I got in the tub at around 2 am, I just let things happen and little Levi Gregory was born at 2:22. Greg was on the phone with Laura again and stayed calm throughout. He was reassuring me, "we've done this before, it'll be fine." As soon as baby was born, Greg picked him up to hand him to me and discovered that we had a baby boy, not a girl like we were expecting. What a surprise, although my Mom had said all along, "well, it might be a boy!" We had had 3 ultrasounds, so felt pretty confident they were correct, but they weren't. The ultrasound machine our midwife uses is pretty old/grainy, so the screen isn't nearly as clear as a current machine would be. Oh well, these kind of surprises I can handle!! My Mom had gotten up to be with Celeste who was sleeping in our room and had been awakened by all the commotion, so although she wasn't there for the birth, she came in shortly after with Celeste who was thrilled to see the new baby.
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| Celeste enamored by her new baby brother (and she still is) |
We found out that Levi also had a knot in his cord, just as Celeste had. This could have also been why labor contractions were so spaced apart again. Laura also said that false labor prior to real labor is the norm for moms who have had more than 4 kids, but so few people have more than 4 these days, you never hear about it. Also, in the hospital moms will likely get induced also so that is another reason you don't hear too much about this type of labor being the norm.
As for Greg delivering Levi (he delivered Isaac also, if you recall), Laura feels that it's God's way of honoring the head of the family by giving them the honor and privilege. She also said that God knows which dads can handle it and which ones cannot, so who is she to stand in the way?! In her 30+ years of midwifery, she's never had any complications from babies who were born before she got there. With both boys, I feel that God led us to do homebirths because we wouldn't have made it to the hospital in time anyhow. 8 contractions, transition, baby! No messing around!
Looking back, all the labor prep I did may or may not have helped. I know my real labor was only 1 hour once things got started, so that false labor was actually quite effective getting things going. I'd be curious to know how far dilated everything was before the "real" labor started, but will never know. It obviously did more than I care to admit since it lasted so long and it wore me down so much physically and emotionally. My recovery has been excellent though, which means a lot in the whole scheme of things. Now hopefully Levi will be a pleasant baby, but I try to keep my expectations low due to our numerous past fussy baby history!
Labor is such a unique time. It brings out the absolute best and worst in me. And probably in most women. It empowers us to do what logically would indicate can't be done. In yet leaves us weak and vulnerable due to the overruling powers that make a baby be born. It tests us emotionally, physically and spiritually in ways we will likely never be tested before or after. Having a baby naturally makes us draw on sources of strength that you just don't get with an epidural (I had one with our first 2 babies and felt that I missed out on an integral part of their births after I had babies without one). I recall the male anesthesiologist telling me before one of my epidurals, "you get the same baby in the end, so what's the difference?" Well, there is a big difference, a difference only a woman whose had a baby can tell you. I don't regret having the epidurals, but am relieved to find there are doable ways to have a baby without one also. Kind of a rite of passage of sorts. Anyhow, I'll write a post about the differences I've seen in home birth vs. hospital birth another day.
