Here is another gem from Meg Meeker, M.D. Highly recommend if you have boys to raise. I'll recap here a few of the highlights I took from it, but the whole book is definitely worth your time.
-God is necessary and matters to all boys. It provides them with an anchor, an ultimate authority, a sense of purpose and a way to place themselves in the world/cosmos. Having a moral framework is essential, and a belief in God is the start of that. Capitalize on your child's receptivity when they're small. Teach them your beliefs and give them that moral foundation whether you think they're old enough to understand or not. When they're hormonal teens, you'll be glad you did. Boys love God because he always cares. They love him because he's strong and powerful, and he's a hero. They love right and wrong, good guys and bad guys. Boys often refer to God as a good combination of loving like their mom, but stern like their dad. They also like His invisible, omnipotent powers (the best kind of super-hero).
-Teaching healthy views of sex is crucial, age appropriately from a young age. To have a well rounded sexuality, one must have a solid framework. This means not avoiding the subject, but instead teaching them about the boundaries, feelings, spiritual aspects of all matters involved (avoiding sin, not yielding to temptation, worldly influences, etc.) Our boys know what is right/wrong, and we must encourage them do act/think/live in those ways. Sexual energy is no different from intellectual, physical or mental energy- it must be acknowledged, addressed, harnessed and mastered.
-Boys need real people for emotional connections with parents and friends. Virtual and electronic ones do not count as the boy is in control (he can log off or turn it off if things don't go his way). With real friends, he learns sympathy, empathy, problem/resolution, give & take. All of these things will help him mature into a healthy man someday.
-Handwrite notes to your son. There is nothing like the personal words of someone you love writing especially for you in their individual handwriting. Your son can reread these notes over and over in times of self-doubt and worry. Have both parents do this for each child. Typed ones just don't have the same impact (another great reason to teach kids cursive!)
-Boys act on their feelings, real men don't. They do the right thing. Help transition boys into men but recognize that this is a process and should be age appropriate. You can't expect an 8 year old to act like a man, because he's an 8 year old. Another difference between boyhood and manhood is perseverance. Boys cop out, men persevere. Teaching boys tenacity will serve them well their whole life through. Realize age appropriately what your son is capable of, and stretch his limits just a little bit further.
-The best thing you can give your boys is your time. They want nothing more than to spend time with their "hero" and dads fill this role perfectly. Moms time is just as necessary, in different ways. Give your son time to ask questions (and ask them questions, even if they don't answer, it gives them substance to think on). Kids learn most by just watching their parents, so let them come along and watch and learn. Teach your child to reach out to others and always be willing to go the extra mile to help their fellow man. Teach them to speak well of others and reinforce the Golden Rule again and again.
Very encouraging book!
