Lately I've been inundated with marriage advice. Not through real friends or family; but through blogs, facebook posts and articles of people sharing their best advice. Then at Goodwill today I noticed a whole big section of marriage self-help books. That's 4 big shelves full of various people's opinions. I do understand there are alot of people with poor marriages and broken marriages, and that this is a big deal. But, while pondering this topic, it came to me the best advice is given from the Bible. This is given for getting along with anyone. I quote it to my kids many times each day (yes, each day!!) But, it's the simplest, easiest way to get along with people. And that is:
Luke 6:31 And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise.
The good old Golden Rule. It's first mentioned in the Bible back in Leviticus 19:18 (Thou
shalt not avenge, nor bear any grudge against the children of thy
people, but thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself: I am the Lord.) and is just as useful today.
If every act we do, thought we think, word we say can be ran through the "would I like this done to me?" filter, how pleasant our world would be. In my life I've had to deal with a good number of difficult people. People whose opinions I didn't agree with, whose harsh words were very hurtful, and their behavior was embarrassingly awful. Dealing with these people is difficult, but can be bearable and doable if we remember to treat them as we want to be treated, no matter what. Forgiveness comes easier, and the hurdles much easier to deal with if we can try to see things in a Christ-like manner.
We also have many other places in the Bible that speak of how to treat our fellow man, (the fruits of the Spirit, how husbands and wives ought to treat each other, etc) but the Golden Rule gives us the easiest "formula" to get along with our spouse and children.
There are many causes to people's marriages failing. Dave Ramsay says that the 4 areas that people fight about are money, children (how to raise them), in-laws and religion. Often these subjects were never agreed upon (nor even talked about) before marriage though. I would add that poor health (hormones, disease, depression, addictions) add to the stress that cause a normal relationship to be strained as well. Pride and sinful baggage/lifestyle are another big factor. All of these things are solvable problems, but must be addressed rather than ignored. The hard part comes when people are either not willing to admit there is a problem, or else not open to solving the obvious problem. In all of these, treating each other the way we want to be treated will bring blessing. There is no place for selfishness in a relationship. It only brings hurt, heartache and disappointment.
Anyhow, that's my two cents of marriage advice, for what it's worth!
